A/N: I don't own Jessica Jones or anything in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (unfortunately). I really hope to continue with this fic, so any kind of feedback is appreciated! This first chapter is just what's going on in Trish's head immediately following the death of Kilgrave. I hope you like it!

Trish Walker sat in her Genesis waiting for her best friend to come out of the police station. Her heart was still beating a little too fast from the adrenaline of the last few days. As much as she wanted to be a hero, everything that had happened was taking it's toll on her. She'd been so worried about failing Jessica and felt so much responsibility for Simpson's actions. If Jess could hear her thoughts, she probably would tell her that she'd done good and that she was a hero. Jess was all about making her feel like these things weren't her fault, but as much as Trish tried to be a part of things, to be a worthwhile sidekick, she couldn't help but realize how many things had gone wrong with Kilgrave because of her.

She never should have tried to draw Kilgrave out on Trish Talk. That move was what brought Will Simpson into her life and that in itself led to so many mistakes. If she'd never trusted Simpson, so many things could have gone differently. Jess had tried to warn her about him, but she hadn't listened. And in turn, she'd been too involved with Simpson to be there for Jessica in the times she needed it most. Not to mention the whole thing where Simpson almost killed them both.

Of course, nothing was as bad as losing her headphones and being under Kilgrave's control. She'd gone with Jessica because she wanted to help, but it had ended up the way it always did — with Jessica having to save her. Not that she would ever tire of Jess protecting her, but just once she wanted to be the one to save her hero.

Worse than anything, Trish felt weak. Logically, she knew there was nothing she could have done to break Kilgrave's control over her. As far as anyone knew, Jessica was the one and only person ever to be free of him, but Trish still couldn't help thinking she should have been stronger. The memory of kissing Kilgrave was repulsive, but it replayed again and again in her mind. Trish started to panic, worried she would lose control over her impulses, until she saw Jessica walking out of the police station. The familiar calm immediately fell over her.

Trish got out and leaned against her car, waiting for Jessica to come to her. She was always waiting for Jess to come to her, but a lot of times she couldn't hold on to that patience. By the time they reached each other, she couldn't tell who had gotten to the other first, just that it felt like home to have Jess in her arms. She thought about what Kilgrave had said, referring to Trish as Jessica's 'beloved sister'.

They had never considered each other sisters. Jessica was a quiet girl from school. And then she was the orphan Trish's mother insisted they take in for good publicity. She was the girl who knew and saw way too much about the real 'Patsy'. And then she was Trish's protector. She was her lifeline. Jessica saved Trish from Dorothy and then she saved Trish from herself.

Tears stung Trish's eyes as she realized she'd never been able to save Jessica from her own power and she hadn't saved her from Kilgrave. She was always messing up and putting them both in danger, all because of her obsession with the idea that they could be heroes.

"Jess, I'm so sorry," Trish whispered.

Jessica pulled back. "What are you sorry for?"

"You had to save me. Again."

"It's what I do," Jessica shrugged and opened the car door to get in. "Kilgrave's dead. It's over."

Trish hesitated a moment before joining her friend in the car. "Okay..." she said slowly as she pulled out of the parking lot headed for home. "But what next? You say it's over, but there will always be another Kilgrave. And what about IGH?"

"There is no next, Trish," Jessica sighed. "I'm not a hero. I did what had to be done with Kilgrave and a lot of people died in the process. I may have saved you, and Kilgrave may be dead, but I couldn't save Ruben or Hope or or Wendy or Louise or Albert. I went after the bastard and I got him, but I left a path of destruction behind us. So I don't want to talk about heroism or my powers or IGH or anything else."

"Okay," Trish said quickly. "Okay, I get it. We'll just go home and get some food and get some rest and forget about all of this for now."

"Just take me home, Trish. I just want to be alone."

"Okay."

Trish was nodding, and she changed directions to go to Jessica's apartment, but it hurt to hear those words. Jessica used words she would never normally say as a code for their plan against Kilgrave. Trish had to believe Jess meant those words, but she also had to accept that this didn't change anything. As much as they cared about each other, Jessica Jones was always going to keep up the wall she'd built between them after Kilgrave first came into her life. Trish had never heard those words before last night, and she would never hear those words again.