Chapter One:

Disclaimer: I do not own Batman the Animated Series.

Harley Quinn was released from Arkham Asylum the 30th of March, cavorting all the way to the Gotham Toxic Waste dump. Everyone who saw her remembered her - her pale, languid look coupled with her exuberance was memorable.

But by the next day, the 31st of March, she was lying on Red's table, nursing a beer and bemoaning the lack of her boyfriend.

"Oh, Red," she sobbed, pulling the woman into a massive bear hug. "I miss my puddin' so much! I don't know how I can live without him!"

Poison Ivy gingerly disentangled Harley's arms. "Harls, honey, you're a bit tipsy. And I cannot believe you are still pining over the Joker."

"I don't care! I miss him!" Harley wailed, falling back into the kitchen table chair. "It's April Fools tomorrow and my puddin' won't be there to prank me silly." She pouted. "I miss him so much!"

With a long-suffering sigh, Poison Ivy tapped Red's shoulder and said, "Knock-knock."

"Who's there?" Harley gasped, perking up immediately. "Mr. J?"

"No, Harls." Poison Ivy said, shaking her head in disapproval. "Piss quick."

"Oh. Piss quick who?" Harley gave the usual response with no enthusiasm whatsoever.

"Piss quick your pants are on fire!"

"Haha, Red. That was a good one," Harley said, still looking dejected. She moped for a few seconds, and then said, "thanks for trying to cheer me up though."

Harley Quinn took another sip of beer and lay her face on the kitchen table. Soft sobs racked her body.

Finally, Poison Ivy sighed in disgust. "Harley Quinn, this is getting ridiculous. You cannot lie here drunk any longer. To save you from yourself, I'm going to have to do something against my better sense." She paused theatrically, then whispered, "The Joker has left Gotham. In fact, he has left the country."

"And he didn't take me with him?" she whined. Then she focused. "Red, I am gonna find Mr. J and pull the biggest April Fools joke ever on him!" She gave a dreamy sigh. "It'll be just like old times."

Poison Ivy nodded once, a faint frown on her face. Then she replied, "Well Harls, I suggest you ask the Penguin. Rumor has it that he knows where the Joker is."

"Red," she giggled, not slurring a single word, "you're the best. Now let's get suited up and pay the Penguin a quick 'social visit'."

"If you insist," Poison Ivy responded, fondling the rose nearby on the counter. "It has been a while since I saw the old bird."

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This is just a stupid little fic, something that caught my fancy. Chapter will be extremely short and with long breaks between updates.