Yeah, I wrote another Path of Radiance fic. I should probably wait until I finish the other one, but... who cares?

This one is a murder story. I don't usually write stuff like this, but I thought it would be good if I added a bit of a comedic twist into this. Yep, crackfic. There's probably a lot of OOC in this, but I hope it's still enjoyable!

Murder...?

CHAPTER ONE - MURDER!

It was definitely NOT an ordinary day at the mercenary fort.

"OHMYGOSH OHMYGOSH OOOOOOOHHHH EMMMMM GEEEEEE!" Mist screamed hyperly.

"What is it this time, Mist?" Soren sighed.

"Guess." She said in her annoying voice.

"Is the kitchen on fire again?" Ike guessed.

"Did Boyd get his head stuck in the toilet again?" Mia wondered.

"Did Rhys forget how to breath again?" Zihark asked.

"Did Rolf eat posion ivy again?" Marcia threw a guess out.

"DID SHINON KILL SOMEBODY FROM OUR GROUP AGAIN?" Somebody screamed.

"...Maybe." Mist answered creepily.

"Just tell us what happened already!" Boyd demanded.

Mist sat down in a chair. "Okay..."

"It was a dark and stormy night, when I saw that--"

"Actually, it's morning." Zihark interrupted. "Plus, it's only raining, not really storming."

"SHUT UP, FOOL!" Mist screeched.

"It was a rainy morning when I saw something... HOOOOOORRRRIIIIBLE! It was... OSCAR'S DEAD BODY!"

"NO WAY!" Boyd objected. "OSCAR CAN'T BE... dead?"

"It's true!" Mist said.

Rolf began sobbing uncontrollably. "B-but... O-oscar was... MY ONLY FAMILY I HAD LEFT!" he wailed.

"Uh, Rolf...I'm right here." Boyd said. "It's me. YOUR BROTHER."

"SHUT UP BOYD!" Rolf yelled. "I'VE ALWAYS HATED YOU, SO YOU DON'T COUNT FOR ANYTHING!"

"HA HA!" Shinon laughed. "REJECTED! LOSER!"

"I HATE YOU ALL!" Boyd screamed as he ran out the room in tears.

"Okay guys," Ike began, "I think it's hiiiigh time we came up with a list of... MURDER SUSPECTS!"

Everyone gasped at the mention of murder.

Ike looked over each mercenary in the room. "SHINON!" he yelled. "I think you're awwwwwfully suspicious! You've always hated Oscar, Boyd...me...Mist...Soren...every living person on the planet. I BET IT WAS YOU!"

Soren jotted Shinon's name down on a piece of paper.

"AND YOU!" Ike whirled around to look at Soren. "Soren, you never weeeeere like the rest of us! And you were always being a jerk to everyone (except me). SUUUUUSPIIIIICIOUS!" Ike grabbed the paper and pen and handed it to Zihark. "You write down the names. I don't want any BLOODY FINGERPRINTS on my awesome pen."

Zihark nodded and scribbled down 'Soren'.

Ike glared at everyone, and thought for a moment. "KIERAN!" He shouted, and everyone in the room jumped (some literally, some not). "You always proclaimed yourself to be Oscar's rival! I bet YOU had the motive... TO KILL!"

Kieran's name was added to Zihark's list.

"Oh, Zihark," Ike said, "Boyd said he hated all of us, which probably included Oscar. Add his name to the suspect list."

Zihark rolled his eyes, but still obeyed his commander.

"That's enough for now." Ike announced. "We'll continue our investigation later! Zihark, Titania, you two come with me. WE HAVE SOME PLANNING TO DO."

END CHAPTER ONE

Hmm, I hope this turned out okay. Sorry this chapter was a bit short, I didn't want it to drag on for a long time, and I thought this was a good stopping place.

As always, please review if you enjoyed the story, or give some constructive criticism if you didn't like it. Thanks.