Do You Remember When?

by sun.ming

Drabble. Rangiku remembers the time when Gin and her were younger, and Gin opened his heart to her for the first time.

Hesitate? Hesitation no longer exists in my heart, for what little room I had, you have already taken.

*

Gin… do you remember that day? Not the day we met, the day I felt reborn again; nor the day you held my hand as we walked, the day your warmth touched me in ways I couldn't understand; it was the day you first opened your eyes to me, the day you first let me in to see your world.

I never understood you, and even as so many years have passed, I still don't understand you. I don't understand the way you look at the world, the way you close your heart to everyone. I don't understand how you live the life you live on the wrong side of everything. Or am I wrong, for once believing we were always standing upon the same side of the path?

You picked me up when I fell, and you helped me stand strong. Living amongst the world that felt dead to me, you were the sunlight that gave me strength; I wanted to be that for you too. Your world, the world that often felt small and secluded, somehow, somewhere along the way, you opened it up to me little by little. At that moment, I began to wonder, were you finally letting me in the way I've let you in? Are you as affected by this as I am? I never really found the answer to that, and I wonder if you'll ever find it too.

There are many details that I remember, details that should have long been forgotten, but my mind fills with images from a past so long ago that I no longer recognize, and that day, every single detail had been etched into my mind, and the scene replays in my head again and again.

You held my hand tightly, it wasn't the first time, and I had been so sure it wouldn't have been the last, and you kissed me. I can still remember the feel of those soft lips touching my skin, and it made my heart race. You opened your eyes for the first time, and you smiled at me. It was a beautiful smile; it felt so honest and pure that you made my heart ache because you made me long for it again and again. I miss that smile.

Now I stand here, standing before these people that block my path. I won't hold back, and I know likewise, you won't either. One day, when our paths cross again, I wonder what will become of us.

The weapons have been drawn, and this is it.

Are you watching me right now Gin? I'm fighting… I'm fighting to open your eyes once more.