I couldn't sleep Monday night so I got up and started working on this. I finished it up this morning while dealing with some work chaos. It's another response to the ending of Sweetie Pies and Sweaty Palms. I've loved reading everyone elses so I hope y'all like mine. :)
This is titled after Andy Gibson's song "Wanna Make You Love Me." If you want to listen to a sweet, sappy song, go pull up that one.
THINGS I OWN: A can of beef broth that I picked up instead of chicken broth. Fail. THINGS I DON'T OWN: Hart of Dixie
Zoe stood rooted to her spot as Wade exited her house. She noticed he took care not to let the door slam so as not to wake Rose. It was a strange thing to notice but her senses were heightened, her nerves, on edge all day, straining at their ends now.
Wade had betted on her. And then he had set everything up to ensure he won. From coaxing her into going to the dance with Judson to locking her in her house, it had all been intentional. Just as she'd started to think maybe there was something between them, that maybe their moment at Christmas hadn't been a fluke, he'd provided her with a harsh reminder that he was Wade, the town's resident Casanova, the guy who, despite being the same age at her, couldn't be serious about anything.
It hurt all the same though. He was one of the very few people in Bluebell she thought she could call a friend which made his actions cut that much deeper. And it certainly didn't help that she was already insecure about dating, putting herself out there, be it with Judson, Wade, or someone else. It had taken a lot for her to give Judson a chance and had taken even more for her to begin to think maybe Wade wanted more than just sex from her.
That's when her hurt turned to anger. How dare he use her insecurities against her? Who did he think he was, taking her shampoo and giving it to that floozy? And her hair was still dirty from her tumble off the trellis. She took a step towards the door, ready to lay into him.
"Are you okay?" came Rose's soft voice. Zoe turned and looked at the sleepy teenager in her bed who wore a sympathetic expression. "I heard what Wade said."
"I'm – okay," Zoe said, giving up her plan to tell Wade exactly how she felt about him and everything he'd done. She climbed onto the bed next to Rose. "Or I'm not okay. But I will be – always am. It's not like I was expecting anything different."
"Yes, you were," Rose said wisely. "You like him too."
"There's no 'too,'" Zoe insisted. "He doesn't see me as anything more than the annoying doctor from the big city. As for me, I was only starting to consider that maybe I might feel something more for him so why should I be upset? But let's not talk about Wade. How are you feeling? Is your arm sore?"
"A little sore," Rose admitted. "But nothing I can't handle." They turned the lights off and settled into the bed. "Night, Zoe."
"Night, Rose," Zoe replied. Soon Rose was sound asleep. Zoe laid awake, the darkness hiding the tears that rolled down her cheeks. For the first time in a while, she desperately wanted to be anywhere but Bluebell.
The night was quiet and, it seemed, darker than usual. The silence and the thick blackness pressed in around him, broken only by the soft sound of Joelle's breathing. He stared at the ceiling, the last exchange between him and Zoe on loop in his mind. Details were growing sharper with each replay - the way she had shyly confessed they had chemistry, the almost hopeful upturn of her lips as she'd asked him to admit he liked her, the way her face had fallen and her brown eyes had filled with hurt when he'd turned the tables, making his confession into a joke and revealing that most of his actions were for his own personal gain.
He knew why he'd done it. He had been completely sincere when he'd told her he liked her, that it killed him to see her with Judson. It was the most honest he could recall being in recent history. But it had all gotten too real, too fast. He wished he could say he'd changed up his story because of Joelle, because he didn't want to hurt her by confessing he had feelings for Zoe Hart. But he knew he wasn't that big of a man. He had gone back on his confession because he was scared.
No girl had ever come close to breaking through his defenses the way Zoe Hart did. No girl had ever made him want to shine his shoes and brush his hair and put on a new shirt. He'd even admit to dressing more carelessly than ever since Zoe and Judson's big scene in the Rammer Jammer, the same day he'd bothered to put on a clean shirt and even comb his hair in hopes of impressing her. She'd told him she looked nice, but she still left with the vet. It was stupid, really, pinning all his hopes on a crisp white oxford.
Joelle let out a soft 'hmph' in her sleep and rolled over, throwing her arm across Wade. He grimaced, realizing he'd have to break up with her in the morning. She was an okay girl, maybe not the sharpest tool in the shed, but she looked good in a pair of jeans and seemed to drive Zoe crazy. She was even a good distraction, up until a few hours ago. But it wasn't fair to her to keep up the charade of liking her for anything other than sex. He imagined it wouldn't go over well when he broke the news and made it a point to make sure he hid his favorite guitars first. Once he did that, he'd have to figure out a way to make amends with Zoe.
"Morning, baby," Joelle purred. She walked up to Wade, dressed in nothing but one of his shirts, and ran her hand down his chest. Wade gave her a sad smile and removed her hands.
"We need to talk," he said. Joelle sighed, taking back her hands from him.
"I knew this was coming," she said. She went back into his bedroom and returned a few minutes later fully dressed in her own clothing, her bag already on her shoulder. Wade was seated on the couch, waiting for her. "I guess we're over?"
"Yeah," he said, waiting for her to erupt into anger. "You're a nice girl and hot as all get out but…"
"But I'm not Zoe Hart," Joelle said knowingly.
"It's not…" The last thing he wanted was Joelle blaming Zoe for anything.
"It is," Joelle interrupted although she wore a small, sad smile. "You spent most of yesterday stealing her shampoo and catching opossums to mess up her date with the vet. Half the town knows you're crazy about her and the whole town knows you're terrible at showing it. "
"I'm sorry," Wade said, meaning it. He wasn't sorry that he was ending things, but seeing as he'd gotten together with her partly to make Zoe jealous and partly to make himself feel better, he felt he owed her an apology.
"It is what it is," Joelle said. She leaned down and kissed Wade's cheek. "Good luck with Zoe." Then she was gone. Wade sighed and rubbed his hands over his face, grateful that had gone far easier than he'd expected it would. He caught sight of the time and let out a curse. He had to be at the Rammer Jammer in 10 minutes.
"Stop."
Zoe came to a halt, a travel mug of coffee in one hand, a muffin in the other, her bag slung over her shoulder and her back to Lavon. She had almost made it to the door. She turned and plastered on her best smile.
"Good morning," she said. "I was just on my way to..."
"Why are you avoiding Lavon Hayes?" the ex-linebacker asked, crossing his arms over his chest and ignoring the smell of coffee tempting him towards the pot on the counter.
"I'm not," Zoe answered. She was avoiding his kitchen. Specifically someone who often appeared in said kitchen.
"Then what do you call creeping in here with the sun and creeping back out all sneaky-like? And rumor has you been eating an awful lot of take out from Fancy's - something somebody avoiding the person who resides in the home where they get their food might do."
"I'm not avoiding you," Zoe said again with a sigh. "I've just... Been busy." A lie. She was averaging about one patient a day.
"If you're not avoiding me, the only other explanation I've been able to come up with is that you're avoiding the one other person who also happens to dine in this kitchen - one Wade Kinsella. I know you two had some kind of childish prank war going on earlier this week, but surely a opossum in your bathroom ain't enough to drive you out of the kitchen. What's going on?"
"Nothing," Zoe answered. "Absolutely nothing. I should go..."
"Oh come on, Big Z. You can talk to Lavon." Zoe chewed on her lip, deciding on if she wanted to come clean. Finally she sighed.
"Okay, fine," she said. She glanced over her shoulder for any sign of Wade emerging for breakfast.
"He's already at work," Lavon answered her unasked question. "Got the opening shift today." Satisfied, Zoe sat down at the bar for the first time in the several days since the Sweetie Pie Dance. Lavon fixed himself a mug of coffee and pulled up a stool across from her.
"This stays here? Between us?"
"Between us," he confirmed.
"Okay, so the night of the Sweetie Pie Dance, Judson broke up with me. And the whole town thinks it's because I'm too - New York, or a commitment phobe, or whatever they want me to be when they retell the story. But really, he broke up with me because I cared more about my prank war with Wade than spending a nice evening with him. Which, seeing as Rose pointed out that Wade acts the way he does because he likes me, hit a little closer to home. Because, I thought, you know, maybe he does like me. And it's not the first time someone has told me that, either.
"But then Wade came over to drop off Rose's sweater and I decided to do the whole vulnerable, honesty thing which I am so not good at and just ask him. I mean, I can admit there's been some chemistry and then we had this moment of the holidays... Anyway, he starts telling me that yeah, he likes me and it killed him to see me with Judson and there I was, starting to think maybe I should give him a chance when he proceeded to turn it all into a joke ending with the revelation that he had a $100 on us breaking up the night of the dance and he made sure it happened."
Lavon took a moment to digest Zoe's ramble. "So, Wade told you he likes you?" he asked for clarification. Zoe nodded. "Then turned his story so he could tell you about the betting pool?" Zoe nodded again.
"The same betting pool that I have on good authority that he started." She'd run into Shelley in the chip aisle of the Dixie Stop and it had been fairly easy to coax the origins of the pool out of her, confirming what she'd suspected all along.
"That fool," Lavon mumbled. He'd been trying to corner one of the two for the last several days but between Zoe's evasiveness and Wade's refusal to talk about why he was moping around, he hadn't had much success until now.
"If it weren't so early, I'd pour a glass of wine right now," Zoe stated. She settled for taking a long drag of her coffee.
"What if... Maybe Wade meant it? The part about liking you?" Lavon asked tentatively. She shook her head.
"You don't turn around and say something you know is going to hurt someone you like," she said. Lavon realized it was more than just a boy she might be developing feelings for hurting her. Someone she'd considered a friend in a place where she had very few friends to begin with had hurt her which after the sting of Annabeth's deflecting their friendship, probably hurt just a little bit more than it would have anyway. Zoe looked at her watch.
"I really should go," she said. "I've got one whole patient for the day and they're scheduled for 8:00."
"Some advice before you take off?" Lavon asked. "Quit avoiding him. Tell him how he made you feel." Zoe shook her head.
"He's Wade," she said. Then she disappeared out the kitchen door.
He'd been starving when he walked into the kitchen, his hopes high that Zoe would be around seeing as it was prime dinner time. But she wasn't there and his appetite had disappeared with the sight of her empty stool. She'd been missing from the kitchen every morning and evening since the Sweetie Pie Dance and hadn't turned up at the Rammer Jammer a single time. Had he not seen her lights on or spied her sitting on her porch or by the pond a couple of times, he'd have been worried something had happened to her. He'd considered blowing the fuse box on purpose a couple of times, just to see if he got a rise out of her, but he figured he already had enough to apologize for without doing something else stupid.
He didn't have much of a plan. He'd been hoping their paths would cross and he could gauge just how mad she was and go from there. But he'd allowed himself to realize she was avoiding him and that didn't bode well for where he stood with her. He'd spent an awful lot of time the last few evenings trying to work up the courage to just go across the yard and talk to her, but he'd yet to grow a pair and do it. Deciding against the meal he'd planned, he took an apple from the fruit bowl and twisted the cap off a beer.
"Why'd you do that?"
He hadn't heard Lavon come in, but when he turned, he was reminded that the man was a former pro football player. The Mayor looked formidable as he stood across the kitchen, fixing him with a harsh stare.
"Do what?" he asked, not sure what Lavon meant.
"Hurt Zoe like that. You finally tell the girl you like her and then go make her think it was all part of some big joke, all planned so you could make a few bucks off of her insecurities." Wade sighed. So Zoe had talked.
"I didn't..."
"You didn't what?" Lavon asked. "Think about how starting a betting pool on how long she'd last with the vet might make her feel when she had such a hard time letting herself date in the first place? Or how much it might've hurt her that one of the few people she considers a friend in this town betrayed her? Or maybe you didn't consider the fact that maybe she's got some feelings for you too and just might have looked past some of your more immature doings and given you a chance?"
Any fight Wade had in him fled as he sank into an armchair in the adjoining living room. He didn't have any answers or even an argument to justify his actions – Lavon was right on all accounts.
"I freaked out," he admitted. "She said we had chemistry, looked like she might've been believin' me when I said I liked her. I panicked. Words started coming out of my mouth and before I could do anything about it, the damage was done."
"Have you tried talking to her since?"
"You know as well as I do she's been avoidin' me."
"She lives just across the way from you. Your legs ain't broke. You could just walk on over and tell her the truth, apologize. Although I think you've successfully ruined any chance you had with her for the time being."
Wade couldn't argue with that either. He'd known he'd blown it the moment the words left his mouth.
"You have got to grow up, Wade," Lavon said. "I keep saying you're a good guy. And you are. But this ain't Old School. If you want any shot at winning Zoe over, you've got to stop locking her in her house and start letting her see the man you have the potential to be."
"I know," Wade admitted. He'd been thinking about that a lot lately, how he needed to make some changes, not just for Zoe but for himself as well. Lavon stood and patted him on the shoulder.
"I'm heading to Dee Dee's. Zoe had a hard day at the office. I don't know if you've heard, but Mr. Ricker passed away. He had a heart attack while he waiting to see Brick about a head cold. Zoe tried to revive him, but, she obviously won't successful. She could probably use someone to talk to." With that, Lavon left, leaving Wade to stir in the mess he'd made.
Putting one foot in front of the other had never been harder, but he was forcing himself to do it. He'd come home from Lavon's an hour ago and had spied Zoe immediately, sitting by the pond in one of the two Adirondack chairs she'd dragged out from somewhere not long after she'd moved in. Her knees were pulled up to her chest, her arms wrapped around them as she looked out over the water. She glanced in his direction when she heard him coming, but turned back to the small watering hole.
"Hey," he said timidly.
"Hey," she replied softly, still not looking at him.
"You um, owe me a rain check," he said, holding up two wine glasses in one hand, a bottle of her favorite white wine in the other. He'd picked up the bottle sometime around Christmas, waiting for his chance to cash in his rain check. This was as good of a chance as any. She didn't reply so he pushed his luck and took a seat in the other chair. He poured them each a glass of wine.
"Thanks," she said, taking it from him. Her eyes were puffy, red. She'd been crying. He felt his own heart twist. Those pretty brown eyes should never have tears falling from them.
"I heard about Mr. Ricker," he started. "How are you doing?" Zoe shrugged.
"I've lost patients before," she said. Wade knew better than to buy that nonchalant answer but he wasn't in any position to press her to confide in him that really, it was tearing her up inside that she hadn't been able to save the older man.
"You did everything you could," he said, using the safest line he could come up with.
He'd heard the whole story from Chip Barton when he'd dropped by to see Lavon about some sort of fundraiser for the Ricker family. He'd told the man Lavon was gone and would let him know he'd stopped by, not in the mood for small talk. Chip, of course, had been dying to relay the hottest story in Bluebell since the vet broke up with the doctor.
Mr. Ricker had shown up early for his appointment about a cold he'd had that wouldn't quite go away and was waiting for Brick to get back from lunch. He'd started having severe chest pains and collapsed. Zoe had done CPR, even used a defibrillator, but nothing had worked. His wife later said he'd been complaining about his chest hurting, but they thought it was just congestion from his cold. Zoe only nodded at Wade's attempt at reassuring words, the same phrase she'd heard time and time again all afternoon from everyone from Brick to a teenager who was best friends with Mr. Ricker's oldest granddaughter.
They sat in silence for a while, sipping their wine. Wade was focused on finding the right words to open with, knowing he had to say just the right thing upfront to get her to listen to anything else he wanted to say. Zoe was torn between going over and over everything she'd done to save Mr. Ricker in case she'd missed something and wondering what Wade was up to. She shivered, the night air growing cold. Wade noticed. He sat forward and removed his flannel shirt.
"Here," he said, offering her the worn material. She looked at it as it were poisonous. "Come on, Zoe. You're cold." She relented and took it from him. It felt soft against her skin, smelled like Wade. She pulled it tighter around her, finding a strange comfort in it.
"What do you want?" she asked him. He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, eyes focused on a patch of ground. She listened as he took a deep breath. Finally, he turned to look at her.
"I owe you an apology," he said. "Several of 'em, I reckon." Zoe waited for him to continue. "I'm sorry about my part in breaking up you and Judson and for taking bets in the first place. I know it was wrong, and childish, but I had a good reason – at least it was good in my head."
"And what was that?" Zoe asked, a trace of her stubborn New Yorker ways peeking through her down demeanor.
"What I said about liking you and it killing me to see you with Judson? Well, that won't a lie. I do like you – more than you realize. More than I think I realize. It really does kill me to see you with Judson – or anyone else. I can't even stand seein' you talk to George 'cause I know you had or have some stupid little crush on him.
"But the thing is, I don't know how to this. I don't know how to tell you I like you and I damn sure don't know what comes after that. You were standin' there, lookin' like you might actually believe me, like you might actually be willin' to give me a shot, and I freaked out. Because I didn't know what to do next. I reckon even if I hadn't told you about the bet, you'd have still figured it out and we'd still be havin' this fight, but maybe by then you'd know that I'm crazy about you and would look the other way."
Zoe took in his words. They were laced with sincerity. He bounced his knee, nervous as he waited for her reaction. She inhaled and then blew out the breath, putting together her words. In her silence, Wade decided maybe he should keep talking.
"I'm sorry I hurt you, Zoe. I didn't mean to, exactly, even if my actions say otherwise. All I could think about was gettin' you away from him. I guess I probably owe him an apology too, come to think of it." He wasn't looking forward to admitting things to the vet, but if it helped win him any points with Zoe, he'd do it.
"Here's the thing, Wade," Zoe started. "Judson and I probably wouldn't have lasted long anyway. You were right – he's boring. I've had better conversations with Burt Reynolds. So while I'm not exactly thrilled about your part in our break up, that's not what this is about. I trusted you. Considered you one of the very few people in this town I could count on. Then you went and made a mockery out of me, out of my love life which you had to know I'm already insecure about. You used what you knew about me to your advantage."
Wade buried his face in his hands. He didn't know how he was going to fix this.
"And the other thing? I was willing to give you a chance. I can't deny that there's something between us. I can't say we didn't have a moment at Christmas. But if you're going to do stuff like this, you don't deserve my chance. I need someone who knows what he wants and who actually makes an effort at something besides video games and beer. I know you're a great guy, Wade, but you need to figure that out – and then let yourself believe it."
A lot of people had told Wade a lot of things over the years, but none of them came across as loud and as clear the words Zoe had just said to him. In just a couple of sentences, she had shown him what he'd been trying to find all these years – the reason he always felt so lost. Lavon could tell him he was a good guy. George, Lemon, Shelley, even Brick had once told him as much. But it took hearing Zoe, the girl he didn't think he had a chance with on his best day, telling him he could be the guy she needed him to be – that he wanted to be – if he just tried.
"You're right," he said. "I've got some growin' up to do."
"That's a way to put it," Zoe replied.
"I just… Well, you know Crazy Earl. And I'm sure you've noticed my momma ain't around. Got a brother – he's a good guy, a war hero, got all kinds of medals and prestige. People respect him. Me, I just ain't never had a good excuse to try at anything." He looked at Zoe. "Until now." Zoe gave him a weak smile, the best she could muster given the day she'd had.
"Thanks for the wine," she said. "I needed it."
"Like I said, you owed me a rain check."
"I'm sure sitting by a murky pond with a depressed doctor isn't what you had in mind."
"I'm with you, ain't I?" he asked. That brought a genuine smile out of Zoe, her anger with him ebbing away.
They remained by the pond together for a long time, not talking much. Zoe wasn't up for it and Wade had said all he needed to say. After a while, he saw her stifle a yawn. He glanced at his watch and saw it was well after midnight.
"Let's get you inside," he said, standing. He offered Zoe his hand with the intention of helping her out of her chair. She didn't let go of his hand as he walked her to her door. She turned to face him. "I really am sorry," he said. Zoe nodded.
"I know you are," she admitted. She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him. He put his arms around her tiny frame and hugged her to him, a sense of relief washing over him. They weren't okay, exactly. She still had some hurt feelings and he had a lot to work on. But they were back on speaking terms and for now, that had to be enough.
He let her go after several long moments. She bid him goodnight and went inside. He headed back to his place, thinking. Zoe knew how he felt. That was half the battle. Now he just had to work on getting his act together to show her he could be the guy she'd had glimpses of. Then maybe, just maybe, he'd stand a chance.
As he climbed his porch steps, he glanced over at Zoe's in time to see her shut off her light. Inside, he spied the white button down he'd worn the night she'd kissed Judson at the Rammer Jammer haphazardly thrown in the general direction of his laundry basket. He picked it up off the floor, figuring a freshly laundered shirt was as good of place to start as any. He reckoned he might even iron it.
Thanks for reading!