Part the First: While the Cat's Away…
Disclaimer: Not mine- don't sue.
In the far distant future it was possible he would be able to look back on the whole thing with a detached sense of being and laugh. Yes in some respects it was funny, in the way that multi car collisions with many casualties could in some ways be considered 'funny'. But since he was from an era bereft of cars and therefore multi-car pile-ups the comparison was hardly appropriate. Suffice it to say far far in the future, far removed from the present place and time, from the perspective of a sick twisted individual the whole thing could have been considered funny.
As it was not the far distant future, the situation was not funny. The situation being more akin to moments of such horrific proportions that they play out in a sort of jerky slow motion replete with stop frame, zoom and repeat- these situations most often accompanying the moments where you are either about to be killed or are about to do the killing; this being a 'situation' of the latter rather then the former.
Never in his life had he ever imagined something akin to this occurring. That he would be on his way to 'protect' Kagome whilst she bathed in a hot spring…er that is to say meditate a safe respectable distance from the hot spring, as his calling dictated.
No never in his wildest fantasies would he ever imagine anything even remotely similar…
Well that is to say 'never' is such a tricky word. Never; what does a word like that really mean? So perhaps never was in fact the wrong word, perhaps by never he meant at least once a day, sometimes twice, often more then three times, er umm possibly closer to ten. And if not for the slight case of carpal tunnel syndrome he was developing from 'excessive' repetitive actions that figure may have been higher still.
But that was different.
That was just 'imagining' not real life. And the lighting was all wrong and where were all the cute outfits and the honey. WHAT ABOUT THE HONEY… For Kami-sama's sake! Oh the humanity.
Um, er that is to say…
He could not believe his eyes; primarily for two reasons. The first being his minds insistence that because the sight before him was of such a ludicrous nature the only rational explanation that could possibly explain anything was the widely known and highly maligned idea that certain activities, as well as causing carpal tunnel syndrome, could cause blindness. Yes blindness and an over active imagination could certainly explain away…well 'THAT". The other explanation involving karmic retribution was slightly less appealing then blindness, defiantly his second choice.
Because things like this just did not happen in real life. Not to HIM and not to HER! Where in the world was the justice in that- karma be damned?!
Who wouldn't be pissed!? Who I ask you, WHO! Nobody that's who!!
Ah this is getting just a bit confusing, perhaps the beginning would be a more appropriate starting point.
Final thoughts from Shippou: Just what in the world are you talking about?
Next Time: Part the Second: Curiosity killed the Cat
A/N- originally I was going to do this in 2 medium size chapters- but changed my mind to 3 (conflict, climax, resolution) shorter chapters. Chapter two should be complete by Tuesday and the final installment by next Saturday.
Oh 2nd person point of view- somewhere an English professor is weeping.
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