Chapter One

Tiptoeing into the bedroom, Adam sat down on the chair by the bed, watching Shiloh sleep. They had arrived home just the day before from her last performances of the year in Salt Lake City and Denver City where, after fainting on the last note of the last song of the last performance, they discovered she was carrying their first child.

The private coach her brother, Micah, had purchased for her had been a blessing for their travels. Even so, this last trip home had taken its toll on her. For days, she sat by the window, trying to stay comfortable in the unusually warm October weather while watching the starkness of the desert landscape pass by. Occasionally she'd sigh and move her hand to her stomach. She had been virtually silent after they left Denver City, saying little more than 'thank you' or 'no thank you' and offering a timid smile every now and then. Adam patiently waited, knowing she would speak when she had settled all the conflict going through her mind that she could alone.

She had questioned whether she was ready. She had said the idea of being responsible for another life frightened her. Yet, she had stopped being careful, knowing how badly he wanted a child. Over the course of the nine day return trip and now at home, she was quietly coming to terms with the effect a child would have on their lives, her independence, and her aspirations.

If loving her even more deeply was possible, he did.

She had felt fine through most of the trip until they reached the Forty Mile Desert. Adam had made very specific preparations for crossing that part of the desert. He knew the heat, the sand and the lack of water would turn the distance from what normally would have taken a few days into possibly a week long hot, gritty, sweaty journey that many people as well as animals didn't survive.

He had her change into a light day dress and stay in the coach out of the sun, bringing forth complaints that the coach was like an oven. Adam knew it felt no different than being outside in the scorching heat. He had acquired a barrel of water that he placed in the rear boot, knowing that any water they drank, they'd sweat out. He also purchased dried beef, bacon, beans and coffee for them and the driver, and hay for the horses.

Her growing lethargy had concerned him. Not only had she become physically tired, she also had begun to show mental weariness. He knew she hadn't slept well during the trip. He also knew this baby weighed heavily on her mind. He had hoped that after they arrived at the Flying W, where she would be comfortable in her own home and her own bed, her physical fatigue would diminish. And perhaps after a visit with Paul Martin, some of her fears would be assuaged. Until then, all he had been able to do was make her as comfortable as possible.

Instead of going on into Virginia City, Adam had decided to stop at home and send for the doctor, but Dr. Martin had been delayed.

When her eyes fluttered open, she looked at him for a moment, and then turned away.

"Are you angry with me?" he asked.

Taking a deep breath, she pulled the sheet up to her chin. "Not angry. Worried."

"About what?"

"Adam, you didn't even let me walk into the house."

"You heard what the doctor said."

"He saw me for all of twenty minutes after I fainted. I haven't fainted before this, and I feel fine. I don't even have a stomach ache. I'm just tired."

He moved to the side of the bed, and smiling, brought her hand to his lips. "Paul will be here soon."

"I hope so," she said, eliciting a wide grin from him. "What's so amusing?"

"Your willingness to see Paul."

"I'll be a captive for the next six months if I don't."

"Sweetheart, there will be things for you to do that won't require you to be on your feet if Paul agrees with Dr. Westley," he said, leaning over her and moving a lock of hair out of her face. "I think what concerned Dr. Westley most was the pain you've been feeling."

She sighed. "It's not pain…really…and it's not bad."

"And Paul might even tell us it's normal, but until then, I don't want to take any chances." He turned her face to his and gently kissed her, then looked into her eyes. "You still look tired."

"I'm not that tired," she said, sitting up against the headboard. "Adam, did you read the Denver newspaper?"

"I did."

"What did it say…about me fainting on the stage?"

"It speculated that your performances in Salt Lake City and Denver City were tiring, and that all you needed was rest."

"Nothing about the baby?"

"Nothing. There were two articles; one about your performances, and the other about your apparent change of attitude toward your admirers. Both were good articles. You should read them. I brought the paper home with us."

With her eyes closed, she said, "Maybe later. What's left to be done here?"

"Well, you pretty much took care of the winter preparations before you left for Salt Lake City. Micah's moved the herd down, and the hay's been brought in. He's got the line shacks stocked, too. And with the Flying W hands helping, the Ponderosa is almost ready for the winter."

She smiled and took his hand. "Hoss is on his way to Philadelphia. You think he'll come back?" she giggled.

"I don't think Hoss will do anything to distract Annie from her school work. He knows how important it is to her to follow in her father's footsteps."

"So we're in for the winter?" she asked, yawning.

"Not exactly. I'll have Shorty continue milling square sets until the snow starts, so we'll have some for our mine. Then I need to help Micah get it started." Pushing the cover away, she moved her legs over the side of the bed. "And just where do you think you're going?"

"I haven't been home for weeks. I need to check the horses."

"I've already spoken with Johnny this morning. The horses are fine."

She frowned. "You're not going to make me stay in this bed all day, are you?" His eyebrow arched, and she returned a wounded look. "Dr. Westley didn't say I needed to be confined to bed. He said I shouldn't be on my feet too long until I spoke to my doctor."

Standing, Adam lifted her legs and swung them back around on the bed, quickly sitting next to her to prevent her from getting back up. He inhaled deeply. "Shiloh…I would like to hear what Paul has to say…to make sure. If Paul says you're all right, and you can do what you normally do, I'll stop coddling you. But if Paul gives you restrictions, I expect you to follow them." Letting out a timorous sigh, she looked at him with watery eyes. "You're afraid of what Paul will have to say, aren't you?"

"I'm not afraid of that. I'm afraid it won't make any difference." She sniffled. "I'm afraid you'll put limits on me beyond what Paul says."

Adam had leaned closer, but now straightened up. "Why don't I bring up some breakfast for you? You didn't have dinner last night, and you're eating for two now."

She looked at him wretchedly and closed her eyes, knowing he planned to keep her in the bed until Dr. Martin could see her. Sinking down under the covers, she turned away from him.

"I'll be back up in a few minutes with your breakfast."

After he left, she turned back over, looking out the open door. He's doing this to me because his mother died.