Author's note: If you haven't read Midnight Sun (meaning the 12 chapters Stephenie Meyer has posted on her website) then here's a short summary of the scene before this.
Alice had a vision of her and Bella as friends (Bella as a human)
She then had another vision of her and Bella as friends (Bella as a vampire)
Her third vision was of Edward just after killing Bella.
Alice saw the future going either way. Edward killing Bella or Bella becoming a vampire. This is after that scene.
For those who've only read the official Twilight saga, this is just after Edward saves her from Tyler's van.
Edward/Alice talk. Please read and review!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Edward sat on the porch, elbows on his bended knees and his beautiful pale face in his hands. He kept his eyes wide open, not trusting his mind with the new images that he'd received from Alice an hour before. He knew that if he were to shut them for even a millisecond, the vision of Bella, pale Bella, dead Bella, would fill his mind. He shook his head slowly, silently praying to God that the images stay as images and nothing more. He sighed and lowered his hands, knowing that Alice's clearest visions were pretty much definite. He took a deep, calming breath, for he heard Alice retreating from the living room and heading toward the porch. Poor Edward. She thought wryly. He sighed again, wishing, for once, that he couldn't hear the thoughts of his family during this time. He began to pull out of his crunched, beaten position when Alice thought You don't have to hide from me, Edward. I know you're hurting. He let his elbows fall back onto his knees.
"Hey." Alice whispered, sitting next to him.
"Hey." He mimicked, equally as quiet.
"How ya doin?" She asked immediately.
"Psh. I'm great. Fabulous, in fact. I haven't even thought about how I'm going to be the cause of Bella's death. I've completely forgotten the picture of her pale face, whether as a vampire or…lifeless…" He broke off, sucking in as much air as his lungs would allow.
Alice put her arm around her brother's shoulders and pulled him closer to her. He let her, grateful for even the smallest comfort. It's okay to love her. She thought. Edward stiffened under her arm at her words.
"No, it's not." He whispered angrily.
"Yes, it is. You can't help who you love. You're not supposed to. It doesn't matter if you're a vampire or a human; you can't help who you love. You can't change it." Alice said.
"That doesn't mean it's okay. Or normal. Or right. It's dangerous. For her. For me. For all of us. I'm putting everyone at risk, staying here. Letting myself fall…"
"Edward. I know you're not in love with her yet, but you will be. Right now, all I know is that you care about her more than anything in the world. All I know is that you were willing to do everything you could to keep Rosalie and Jasper from hurting her. You risked everything to keep her out of harms way…and you'll keep doing that. I see that…very clearly."
He looked away from her confident expression, wondering what he had done to make her think he deserved such confidence.
"Yeah…you see that now. Until the scent of her blood overpowers my will to keep her heart beating and I end up with crimson eyes and her broken body in my arms." He whispered.
"I know you don't think so, but I know you're strong enough to keep from doing that. You've already proven yourself able to resist. Your control has very much been honed since Bella's gotten here. You clearly care for her more than you thirst for her blood." Alice stated.
"You don't know that. I rarely breathe around Bella. Only when it's absolutely necessary. And when I do take those rare breaths, the thirst is almost unbearable." Edward said, immediately clearing the thought from his mind.
"You just said it. Almost. Almost unbearable. It's bearable because you care so much about her. It's bearable because you'd do anything to keep her safe." Alice said, reveling in the fact that he'd proven her point for her.
"Yes, I will. That includes myself. I'm a danger to her…the biggest danger. I really need to leave Alice…" Edward trailed off.
"You're not going to leave. You can't." Alice said.
"I'm going to kill her, Alice! I have to leave!" He whispered urgently.
"You're not going to kill her."
The image of Bella with her pale, cold arm around Alice's waist popped into her mind. Edward let his face fall into his hands as the image washed over him.
"Exactly. She'll be dead and I'm going to kill her." He said through his teeth.
Alice sighed and dropped her arm. We're not dead. She thought. Edward rolled his eyes and shook his head. He reached over and grabbed Alice's hand before placing it over his heart.
"My heart hasn't beat for 90 years. Human blood hasn't run through my veins almost as long. I am dead." He whispered sadly as he placed her pale hand back upon her lap.
"Just because our hearts aren't beating doesn't mean we're dead. We still love and hate, we feel pain and happiness, we feel fear…" Jasper's and Bella's faces appeared in Alice's thoughts.
Edward sighed again, picturing Bella, only Bella. It scared him; how much he feared for her, how often he spent worrying about her.
"This is wrong…" He whispered. "I can't do this to her. I can't ruin her whole life; her future, everything…because I let myself fall in love with her…I can't do it to her. I have to leave. I have no other choice."
"Edward. Didn't you hear me? You can't leave. You don't have the willpower to leave her. Think about it. Don't just say it. Picture yourself leaving. Make the decision." Alice said, frustrated with him.
He turned toward her, his light topaz eyes meeting her dark golden gaze. He thought about leaving, about spending years away from his family, about being on his own for more than a short length of time, about never seeing Bella again…He felt his dead heart shatter at the thought. Damn it. He thought futilely.
"I told you…" Alice whispered. "You're not strong enough to leave."
"Then that means I'm not strong enough to keep from killing her!" He jumped up from his seated position, the gravel crunching under his feet. "If I'm not strong enough to leave, the simplest thing I could possibly do right now, then how can I possibly be strong enough to keep from killing her?!" He shot at Alice.
Alice took at deep breath, instantly feeling calm. The corners of her lips turned up into a slight smile as Edward calmed just as instantly as she had.
"Thanks Jazz." She whispered to her husband before turning back to Edward. "The fact that you can't leave means that you're already attached, that you're already too involved to just forget. And because you are that involved, because you care about her that much, you won't hurt her. I know you won't hurt her. There's much too much keeping you from harming her in any way."
"You don't know that. I don't deserve the confidence you and Carlisle and Esme have in me. I never have…And this is proof that I don't deserve it. I'm weak, Alice. I'm weak because the prospect of never seeing Bella's cheeks flush with embarrassment, of never seeing her bite her lip, of never seeing her twist her finger around her strawberry scented hair, of never seeing her face, of never…seeing…her again results in more pain than I have ever known. And I know that I won't be able to handle it. Especially if I feel this way only with the thought of leaving her…I can't imagine how I'd feel if I actually left…I can't imagine how I'd survive…"
He plopped gracefully onto the gravel driveway in defeat.
"I'm too weak to deserve any confidence."
"Stop." Alice demanded. "You are not weak. You never have been and you never will be. You're just…falling in love. This is a good thing, Edward. She's gonna complete your life; make it better."
"Yes, she'll make my life better…and ruin her own in the process."
"There's nothing wrong with immortality." Alice defended.
"No, there's not. When it's necessary. I'm grateful for what our father did for me. But I was dying. I didn't have another life to go to. Bella does. Bella has a chance to grow up, to have a career, to get married, to have children…I can't give her any of that. I'll be taking everything away from her."
"But what about what Bella wants…?" Alice asked.
Edward crossed his legs, listening as her words washed over him. He glanced at her.
"She'll never get the chance to find out what she wants."
Alice sighed in defeat, recognizing that he wasn't going to listen to reason.
"Edward, I love you and I definitely value your opinions and beliefs, but I'm definitely betting on myself here. And the confidences that Carlisle, Esme, and I have in you. You're a lot stronger than you think." She said, standing.
She turned and began walking toward the house, much slower than usual. She stopped at the sound of his voice. He'd stood just seconds before.
"I'm not leaving," He said to her back. She smiled and nodded, the image of her and Bella as friends popping into her mind. "but I am going to stay away from her. And that goes the same for you."
She whirled around quickly with more grace than a Ballerina of 30 years.
"Edward, you can't-" She began.
"No, I can. And I will. I admit that I cannot leave her, but I can endure the pain of staying away from her."
"But I'm meant to love her! Just as you are meant to fall in love with her!"
"And I'm one hundred percent sure that's going to happen, which is why we need to stay away from her." He said.
"And what am I supposed to do if she talks to me first? Walk away?" Alice asked in an incredulous voice.
He shrugged and sighed.
"Whatever that will get her to keep away from us. Without harming her in any way, of course."
"But Edward-" Alice began.
"Please Alice. Do this for me. For your brother." He pleaded.
"It's not going to work. The future is still clear either way." Alice reasoned.
"Let me try. Please." He asked again.
Alice groaned and threw her head back in frustration.
"Fine. I won't talk to Bella. Not unless you say I can." She grudgingly accepted.
"Thank you. You're an amazing sister. And I love you too."
He kissed her on the forehead before quickly disappearing into the trees. Alice stood still, listening as his footsteps finally faded. It's not going to work. She thought, knowing he could still hear her, and walked back into the house.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I hoped you liked it! Please review.