A/N: Just thought I'd try something a little different. I hope you like it.
The first bouquet had appeared on her desk shortly after Nick and Amanda joined the unit.
God…that seems a lifetime ago.
It had no note, no card, nothing. So, she had zero way of knowing who they were from.
"Those are nice," commented Nick. "Somebody special or you got a secret admirer?"
Olivia was so busy appreciating the cream colored roses that she'd barely heard.
"I'm sorry…uh…I don't know," she'd answered. "Secret admirer I guess."
When she began dating Brian she'd had some explaining to do when an arrangement of stargazer lilies showed up at her apartment.
"So someone just randomly sends what looks like," he'd said gesturing to the vase. "A very expensive bouquet of flowers to you for no reason?"
"I guess so," she'd answered. "I thought they were from you but apparently I should've known better."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" He'd asked, hands on his waist.
"Nothing okay," she'd told him. "Let's just…can we just go to dinner please?" She'd asked in a lowered voice, knowing how it affected him.
He took a breath, eyed her in the beautiful dress she wore and gave in.
"Yeah," he'd said. "You're right, I guess they could be from anyone."
It's the first fight they'd had, therefore confirming something she'd only had an inkling about with the roses.
They were from Elliot.
The son of a bitch probably sent them to her apartment on purpose somehow knowing she was dating Brian. But she had to keep her ire to herself because again, there was no note, no card, and no proof.
Not until after she was kidnapped by William Lewis.
The gorgeous mix of gladiolus flowers followed her to Brian's apartment. She didn't have to try to explain who they were from that time. There were many "get well soon" tokens and gifts sent her from various people.
But she was drawn to the small white envelope peeking out from the rainbow of beautiful petals. In seeing her name carefully scribbled in his hand, she'd let her fingertips trace over each letter on the folded piece of parchment.
Olivia
Inside she'd found a USB thumb drive. She'd had no idea what was on it but she knew that it was something for her alone.
Brian had meant well, hovering over her all the time trying to make sure she wasn't hungry, or thirsty or in physical pain before her next dose of Percocet was due. But he wouldn't have understood, so she'd kept it to herself.
"I'm fine," she'd told him. "You don't have to keep watch. It's okay to leave me to my own devices," she'd said, attempting humor.
"Okay Liv," he'd replied. "I'll call you later."
And with a chaste kiss to her forehead, he was out the door.
Olivia had been almost nervous to see what was on that little plastic and metal key. With years of their only communication being the semper fi note and a colorful parade of flowers, her curiosity was just as strong as her anger at having been dismissed.
In the end, it was her inquisitive side that'd won out.
She'd brought her laptop from the bedroom and gotten comfortable on the sofa, having taken a glass of wine with her. It hadn't mattered that it was 7am and she shouldn't have been mixing her prescription meds with alcohol. Between her physical injuries and the mess in her head, she just may have needed it.
After the screen came to life, she'd plugged in the USB key and it hadn't taken much time for the drive to show up on her MacBook's desktop. In clicking on the icon, she'd discovered two files. One a text document, the other a video.
Olivia had instantly chosen the more visual of the two.
The little pinwheel spun just seconds before her former partner popped up on the monitor, live and in vivid high definition.
She'd gasped.
The azure blue of his eyes had stared into her as if he was right there in the room. The whites were tinged pink and his lids were lined in red. He'd looked as if someone had thrown him into the washer and set the spin cycle.
"Liv," he'd grated. "I'm so sorry," he'd begun. "There's nothing I wouldn't have done…to find you if I could," he'd continued. "To stop him from hurting you, to make him pay."
When he'd paused to scrub both hands over his face, she'd seen the damage he'd done to his knuckles. He'd only ever hurt himself out of a feeling of helplessness over those he cared about.
"You may not feel it right now but you're the strongest person I've ever met in my life," he'd told her. "So he doesn't get to break you Liv, he doesn't get to win."
It's a good thing she already had a drink poured because Elliot's the one that looked broken. Olivia had taken in his wrinkled shirt, the five o'clock shadow and the sheer exhaustion on his face and it hit her that he probably hadn't been sleeping, that perhaps he had tried to find her on his own.
"So much has happened," he'd managed. "And I've been such a fuckin' coward not facing you or returning your messages," he'd added in a broken voice. "But please know that I got every one of 'em," he confesses.
She'd held a shaking hand to her mouth as new tears formed in her eyes. The rawness of his voice had her looking anywhere but the screen.
"You deserve more than the flowers," he'd said, revealing a truth she'd already known. "You deserve honesty, an explanation," he'd gone on. "And you deserve it in person."
This had promptly brought her attention back to the monitor.
"So if you ever wanna hear it or just…tell me to screw myself to my face," he'd continued. "There's a file along with this video with my new contact info," he'd stated. "But if you never use it…I'll understand that too."
After those words the video had simply cut off. No goodbye only silence, much like the manner in which he'd left their partnership.
Though Olivia never called, the flowers and the messages had kept coming.
Elliot had sent yellow orchids when she became a sergeant and thankfully they'd come to the precinct, a place Brian hadn't had the habit of visiting.
"Those are pretty," commented Rollins. "I didn't know Cassidy had such good taste," she'd added. "Besides you of course."
Olivia had simply smiled while inhaling the sweet aroma of the bouquet, having pocketed the accompanying envelope. And after everyone had gone home for the day, she'd sat alone at her desk to watch the new message.
"Hey Liv," he'd began with a smile. "Just wanted to let you know how very proud I am of you," he'd added, a twinkle in his eye. "If anyone deserves it you do and I bet you look great wearing those stripes," he concluded with a wink.
Behind shutting down her laptop, she'd found herself grinning with a mild tinge of blush to her otherwise olive skin. Elliot had looked better, healthier, well rested and just as fit as he always had.
It'd been dishonest of her to keep the one sided communications from Brian but she wasn't cheating. Olivia just couldn't bring herself to throw the flowers out, toss the USB sticks or at the very least not sign for the deliveries. They'd been her last ties to Elliot and she couldn't let go.
Didn't want to. But after breaking up with Cassidy, at least she'd been able to let go of the guilt.
Some months later after having offered herself up to Lewis for a young girl, they'd actually had the gall to come after her for his suicide.
Elliot's response even before her vindication? White roses. Knowing each color of the flower has some special meaning, she'd taken the time to look theirs up.
They mean innocence.
Olivia had saved the accompanying message for after the sigh of relief she was able to breath in being exonerated.
"Hey Liv," he'd begun as he had with every message. "Despite the bullshit that someone obviously forced you to confess to," he'd said, so confidently. "You may have done what you had to do to get away from that sadistic son of a bitch but you're no murderer," he'd added. "My partner…is no murderer."
Apparently he hadn't gotten the memo. They weren't partners anymore. They weren't even friends. Yet neither of those facts had stopped her from smiling at the conclusion of the clip.
Elliot had always had such confidence in her.
And thankfully so did Judge Linden when she'd decided to let her foster Noah. She was so excited, so grateful and so thankful for the opportunity to become a mother. Olivia had wanted to share the news with the world.
Yet she could think of only one person above all others.
After getting home with the mocha haired baby boy, getting him settled in and putting him to bed, she'd gone to her nightstand and pulled out the memory sticks. In finding the first one he'd sent, knowing it'd contained the file with his contact info, she couldn't help but rewatch that initial video.
As she'd viewed it again, it was with new eyes. Elliot had been so worried for her, damn near distraught. But what captured her attention again was his bruised knuckles, which lead to the fingers that no longer contained a shining gold band. Obviously she'd had enough going on in her own life not to have noticed it before then.
What the hell else had she missed?
Never having bothered to look at it before, Olivia then impatiently clicked on the file containing his new contact information. Along with his new cell number, it'd contained an address that was not in Queens.
Quickly, she'd popped in each of the other thumb drives trying to catch a glimpse of his left hand. Olivia perused clips of birthday and holiday wishes as well as those where he'd said he was simply thinking of her.
And sure as shit, he'd never had a ring on in any of them.
Elliot hadn't repeated his request to meet face to face, reminded her that he'd given her his information, nor even said, "Hey, the ball's in your court."
She feels sick and a little stupid thinking it was better to keep her distance and just let him enjoy his retirement with his wife and kids.
A detective asks questions, it's how they solve crimes. But not once did Olivia think to ask why a married man would be sending her flowers and personal messages for the last three years.
Not once had she thought just how unlike him that really was.
He'd merely waited, sending those beautiful flowers and thoughtful videos until Olivia was ready to talk, ready to forgive him.
She'd felt sick to her stomach with the realization. There's no way she'd call him. Elliot was right. Everything they need to say to one another deserves to be said in person, not on the phone or via video no matter how sweet and touching they were.
Fast forward a few weeks later and Olivia's hired Lucy and gotten into a good, workable balance with Noah and supervising the unit. Having done so, she feels that this weekend is as good as any to make contact. Sunday specifically.
And that day, is today.
Finding no need to dress up, her hair is down and wavy, she decides on a pale green V-neck spring dress with capped sleeves, gold bangles, her usual necklaces and some tan wedged sandals. Okay, so it may be a bit more sexy than casual, but she doesn't want to show up looking like the years have been hard on her.
Despite the truth that they have.
The brakes on her new SUV mildly squeal on the wet spring pavement as she brings it to a stop on the active Brooklyn street. Thankfully the rain stopped on the way across the bridge. As she steps out of the car and grabs her purse, she inhales warm air, tinged with the intoxicating scent of flowers.
It only takes seconds for her to notice the floral shop sitting across the street.
Olivia recognizes the logo immediately. It's the same one that appeared on the paper wrapped around every arrangement he's sent.
Odell's Flowers.
A green and white striped awning shields the gorgeous rainbow of plants and blooms, sat out each day to entice passersby with their vibrant colors and lovely aromas. Neither of her thumbs are the slightest bit green but if she happened by this place on her way home every day, she'd have plants all over her apartment.
She has to go in.
As Olivia glances around the intimate shop, she discovers that a person really can't make a wrong choice. From forget-me-not to gardenia, posy to tiger lily, each blossom seems to reach up so that their scents could be appreciated. And so she does exactly that.
Until she hears a very familiar voice. One she hasn't heard in person, in a very long time.
"What's the occasion this time Mr. Stabler?" Asks the tall, imposing, bald black man behind the counter.
He looks as if he belongs in a floral shop about as much as a wolf belongs amongst a bunch of sheep. But his tone of voice and kind eyes quickly shoot that idea to hell.
"A huge congratulations is in order Odell," Olivia hears him answer. "So I'm gonna need somethin' pretty awesome," he goes on. "Something that says, 'I always knew you could do it,'" he tells the man.
From a small section of hydrangeas, she takes in his appearance. The light blue button- down he wears is slightly damp on the shoulders from getting caught in the last bit of the deluge. He wears dark jeans that still fit well enough over his ass to make her want to put both hands in his back pockets. Mocha brown leather oxfords complete his new casual look.
Then again, he's retired so he's probably donned this more relaxed look for a while now.
"Well honey, you know I got just the thing," says Odell, going to a nearby refrigerator. "It's a gorgeous arrangement of pale pink roses, blue posies, white orchids and baby's breath," he adds, proudly.
Olivia feigns interest in several plants, but with the description the man gives, she's more than interested in seeing the bouquet.
"That looks perfect," comments Elliot. "I'm surprised you didn't try to sell me those red roses again."
"I wish you'd just give in sweetie," begins Odell. "You been comin' in here for what, three years now?" He asks. "It's obvious you're madly in love with this woman," he surmises. "You're takin' beating around the bush to a whole other level child."
"I know," he acknowledges, surprising the hell out of her. "But you know what red roses mean and if she's not ready to get 'em then I shouldn't be sending 'em."
"How do you know she ain't ready?"
"Three years man," laughs Elliot. "Plus I hurt her pretty bad."
"Then why do you keep tryin'?"
Olivia watches him plant both hands on the counter and take a breath while she holds hers waiting for his response.
"Because I have hope," he answers. "So until these come back return to sender or whatever," he continues with a shrug of his shoulders. "I gotta keep makin' an effort."
She sees the man behind the counter touch his mouth to his lips, then fan his face as if he's drying tears.
"That is so beautiful," Odell tells him. "I don't know what the hell you did but it damned sure wouldn't take me three years of my perfect arrangements to forgive you."
"Thanks O," he says with a laugh in his tone.
"Any message this time?"
"Yeah."
While he's patting down his pockets looking for the little USB key, she steps up behind him and finds her voice.
"Why don't you just tell her in person," she suggests.
While Elliot freezes, Odell looks over her former partner's shoulder.
"I'll be with you in a little bit, sweetie."
When he finally turns to face her, for a moment she thinks he's going to have a massive heart attack. But after the initial shock wears off, his eyes brighten and the biggest grin opens up on his face.
"Liv," he says, approaching her.
"Elliot," she manages. "I got the flowers…the messages."
She hadn't realized until this moment how much they'd both meant to her.
"Liv," he repeats, taking the two steps to embrace her. "It's you."
"It's me," she rasps, her mouth against his neck.
As she inhales his scent she closes her eyes thinking how those videos could never do justice to Elliot Stabler in the flesh. Just the solidity of his body in her arms, makes Olivia tighten the embrace.
They hold on to each other for so long that Odell is clearing his throat as other patrons begin to notice.
"Will you be taking these with you then?" He asks with a smile in his voice.
The two finally, release one another but don't make any moves to distance themselves more than a few inches apart.
"No," Elliot answers, holding Olivia's eyes. "Just deliver 'em as usual."
She can't help the blush she feels embarrassingly covering her face. The first look he gave her once he turned to find her standing behind him was part shock and a whole lot of happiness to see her. The one Elliot's giving her now, eying her from head to toe as he never has, is pure heat.
"How'd you find me?" He asks, meeting her eyes again.
"I was actually on my way to the new address you gave me," she answers, trying to ignore the fact that he's still holding her hands. "But after recognizing the logo from the deliveries I decided to stop in."
"The address isn't so new anymore," he points out, caressing her fingers with his thumbs.
She nods then, almost imperceptibly. But he knows how hard it was for her to come to his neck of the woods in the first place, to seek him out, so he gives her a break.
"You wanna walk with me?" Elliot asks. "Maybe order some takeout at my place?"
She told Lucy she wouldn't be long. Two hours at the most.
"I don't have much time," Olivia tells him. "The babysitter-
"Right," he says, cutting her off with a knowing smile. "I promise not to keep you then."
"Okay."
Elliot drops one hand, but still holds the other and she lets him.
Olivia follows him outside and they began walking the short block to his new digs. There are shops along the way, mom and pop type restaurants, an antique store, a coffee nook with outside seating and a playground.
To anyone passing them on the street, they look like two people in an intimate relationship out for a stroll on what's turned into a beautiful late spring day.
"This seems like a nice neighborhood," she comments. "Parks, a slower pace…a good fit for Eli."
"It has been," he agrees.
They enter a modern, seven story apartment building, complete with concierge desk. After boarding the elevator, he still doesn't release her hand.
"I'm not gonna run ya know," she tells him.
"Huh?"
Olivia raises their clasped hands to eye level, giving him a smirk.
"Oh sorry," he says, finally letting go. "You know when you have those really lucid dreams where you think if you hold on tight enough, you can make it real?"
She turns to face him then.
"Yeah," she agrees. "But this isn't a dream Elliot, I'm here."
"I guess it's the dress then," he tells her with a smile. "You were wearing somethin' like that in the last one I had."
Olivia laughs genuinely before facing the elevator doors again.
"Has that worked on any woman since Kathy?"
They arrive to his floor and the doors slide open.
"You're smilin' aren't you?" Elliot throws out before leaving her behind with a surprised expression. "Then again, I haven't tried it that often."
She quickly catches up and they're shoulder to shoulder again before reaching their destination, apartment 6A.
The place is somehow brighter than she'd expected. The kitchen to their immediate left is small but has stainless steel appliances, granite countertops, and grey wood cabinetry with a white backsplash.
"Make yourself at home," he tells her before moving down the hallway in front of them. "I'm just gonna change out of this wet shirt."
The living room to her right has two large windows separated by a fireplace. Copper colored walls compliment tan carpeting. A dark brown leather sofa faces the plasma screen television on the wall and tasteful art hangs nearby.
Olivia sees her seating options and chooses the tawny, arm chair adjacent to the couch. She sits one way and then the other before deciding to simply cross her legs at the ankles. Her hands begin to perspire so she smoothes her slightly damp palms down her lap.
The way he looked her over in the floral shop, the handholding, the flirting and the lack of a ring on his finger all has her a bit apprehensive to be alone with him.
Their boundaries are gone.
Elliot returns in a matter of minutes, wearing a gray button-down, not unlike the one he took off.
"Would like something to drink?" He asks, entering the kitchen. "I've got soda, water, tea and beer if you don't think it's too early."
"Water's fine," she answers.
He hands her the bottle, taking a sip from his own. But instead of taking a seat on the sofa as she assumed he'd have no choice in doing, Elliot sits on the side of the large coffee table mere inches away from her.
"So you liked the flowers?" He asks.
"Of course," she responds. "Who wouldn't love Odell's perfect bouquets?" She counters with a grin.
"Good," he says. "I'm glad."
"And the messages?" He questions, resting his water on the table beside him.
"How did you know about everything?" She asks him, growing serious.
"Mostly from the news, you making sergeant was in the department newsletter, some from Munch," he goes on. "The rest from Cragen," he confesses.
"Well at least Fin still knows how to keep a secret," she chides, taking a drink.
"I'm sorry for overstepping," he grates. "For ignoring your messages, for not giving you the respect of a goodbye."
Olivia knows he's sincere, that he's apologized to her satisfaction a million times over. But she still needs to know.
"What stopped you from giving me that?"
"I knew you were better off without me," he answers. "In the eyes of IAB your wagon was always hitched to mine," he goes on. "Being my partner never did you any favors."
She gets up so abruptly that Elliot has to lean back to move out of her way.
"That is such bullshit!" She yells. "You ignore three months' worth of messages because you thought it was good for me?"
"Yes," he answers, standing.
"How could you do that?" Olivia asks. "How could you make that decision for me?" She continues in a raised voice.
"Because I was right!"
"You smug son of bitch!"
As she makes a move for the door he blocks her exit.
"Tell me Liv," he begins. "Tell me that your life hasn't been better with me not in it!" He goes on. "You've dated more, got promoted and now you have a son! A child, the family you've always wanted!"
Olivia stands with her hands on her hips, pausing to take a deep breath. The million dollar question looms between them.
"Then why did you start sending the flowers Elliot?" She questions. "The messages?"
"I-I…missed you to damn much," he stammers. "Hell I still do," he admits. "You asked how I could've ignored you for three months when Liv…you've had the power to contact me for over a year."
Touché.
"I was sort of busy putting my life back together," she tells him. "But I guess I owe you an apology too," she acknowledges. "I'm sorry it's taken me so long El," Olivia adds. "I could've found you before you even gave me that information if I'd wanted to."
He nods his acceptance, taking a few steps towards her.
"What happened with Kathy?"
"Somethin' that should've happened a long time ago," he answers without elaboration. "The kids are fine," he says. "The younger ones had some issues in the beginning…but it's workin' itself out."
"Glad to hear it," Olivia says.
"Thanks."
They eye one another, seemingly processing the fact that they're in the same room again after all that's happened. His eyes sparkle. Her mouth turns up with the beginnings of a smile. And all she can think about is why the hell she'd taken so long to seek out someone who obviously still means so much.
This time it's she who closes the distance between them, enveloping him in a firm embrace.
"Thank you for not giving up on me," she whispers.
"Never," Elliot tells her, leaning away but keeping his hands on the small of her back.
Olivia reaches up to rest one hand on his chest while the other lays against his clean shaven face, ghosting her thumb over his bottom lip.
Moments seems to crawl after that.
She moves her hand to the side of his neck, leans closer and presses her lips to his. After pulling back to gauge his reaction, Olivia sees the darkening of his eyes and a telling smirk before it's Elliot who's kissing her.
His is much less timid, sliding his mouth over hers before tracing the seam of her lips with his tongue, in request to be let in. Olivia acquiesces, and the kiss becomes a passionate, all-consuming exchange that she feels down to her toes as he draws her tighter against his body.
The moan she emits in response can't be helped.
Moments later when they have to stop for air, she drops her head to his shoulder. Olivia uses the time both to catch her breath and to reconcile in her mind that she was just kissing Elliot.
"You okay?" He asks, suddenly worried.
But when she raises her head to meet his eyes again, he sees her expression and smiles.
"Fine," she tells him. "Just…thinking."
"Oh," he says. "That a good thing?"
Olivia laughs at the question.
"Yes," she answers, playing with the hairs at the nape of his neck. "Trying to figure out a good time to tell you."
"Tell me what?"
"That I think I'm ready for those red roses."
The End.
END A/N: Well? What'd you think?