Ahem! Today… I'm going to tell you the story of the Green Chime. Thousands of years ago, the first humans came to Plit. They arrived via a green pipe that had never been seen before. The humans and the other developing races learned much from each other. Over the centuries, their heritage became entwined with those of Plit's inhabitants. They built cities where liberty reigned. They created art and pioneered new technologies. They spread good will together among everyone. But not all humans were righteous. An ancient family from the beginning of history made it their goal to secretly unite the world under their sole direction, and rule forever and ever. They built a magnificent yet secret hotel in which the world's most powerful people would covertly gather. The mysterious dynasty gradually gained a controlling interest in the world, kingdom by kingdom. Many years later, on the anniversary of the hotel's groundbreaking, they made their boldest attempt to date—to take over the world. This is the story of their last day in power.
March 19, 2009
It was seven o'clock in the morning. The grandiose hotel stood in the eye of the sunrise, its front bathed in light. A young man wearing a purple suit and top hat, large white sneakers and round silver glasses stepped through the automatic door onto the front steps. He looked outward and saw his daily heaven. His transition lenses faded to black in the direct sunlight, easing his vision. The landscape was still. The enormous clearing surrounded by trees that comprised the property was silent of vehicles and language, and all that could be heard that spring morning was the chirping of birds and a gentle breeze sifting through the leaves. He hopped over the knee-high stone wall of the front patio and cheerfully picked a dandelion. He simply held it in front of him, not blowing it but quietly enjoying its cloudy figure. He laid it down in front of him and stared deeper into the distance, almost giggling. "Today will be just fine." He said. The first person at work that day, a young Toad girl dressed in innocent business garb, came outside from working reception at the front desk.
"I've just received our last RSVP." She stood beside and joined him in looking at the horizon, instead of making eye contact.
"Who was it?" he asked, already knowing the answer.
"King Bowser Koopa," she said, "his letter arrived at dawn."
"Two hundred ninety-nine out of three hundred. Just fine."
"It will be a grand party, I assure you." She placed a hand on his shoulder.
"We shall make the most of it." He simply closed his eyes and smiled.
At roughly the same time, Mario was sitting across the table from his brother Luigi in their home near Toadtown. Enjoying their routine morning coffee, Luigi congratulated Mario on their latest achievement. "The house sure is in ship-shape, eh, Mario?" The brothers had spent the last two weeks fine-tuning their house. Every screw was tightened, every hinge oiled, and every inch of wood refinished. Their grass was cut to absolute uniformity, their pipes were polished, and Luigi had gotten up a few minutes early just to do the last task—recalibrating the refrigerator thermometer. Their house looked like new, and the brothers kept it that way. Their needlessly frugal budget certainly did not show in their work. Their home looked the best it had since 2000. "No creaks, leaks, or funky odors to worry about for a few more years. I may take a week off and hit the road. What do you say, Mario?" Mario looked out the window, down the dainty path to Toadtown.
"Mail call!" It was the voice. Not the most important one in particular, but a well-known one, nonetheless. Luigi hopped in his seat and turned around.
"I'll get it. I wonder who it's for." Luigi walked out the door to the mailbox. Mario heard Luigi greet Parakarry the letter carrying Koopa and engage him in a short chat. He came back about a minute later with a letter for Mario. "It's for you, bro. I wonder who it's from. It's got a pretty nifty watermark on it." Mario took the letter and looked at the symbol. It was a mushroom, with the head colored to look like Plit, the planet the Mushroom Kingdom was on. Mario knew that symbol. It was the logo for Mushroom United Enterprises. He had seen that logo on billboards, buses, and even ender question blocks. MUE was a company that owned banks, farms, businesses, and even hotels in many kingdoms. All Mario knew about them was that the government of the Mushroom Kingdom collaborated with them frequently on infrastructure projects and finances. Mario did not understand as much of it as Peach did, but he knew that getting a letter straight from them was no small matter. Mario opened the envelope and read what was inside:
Mario,
As a reward for your years of gracious philanthropy, outstanding behavior as a model citizen, and possession of an address predetermined by our department, you have been selected, courtesy of Mushroom United Enterprises, to be seated as a VIP guest at the Million Moon Dinner at the luxurious and highly exclusive Green Chime Hotel in Moo Moo Meadows. We apologize for making our offer on such short notice, but we will require an RSVP on the date this letter is delivered. According to our gathered information about you, your schedule should accommodate a meeting with our public relations representative at the Golden Teacher Café in Toadtown at 10:00 AM. If you would like to participate in the festivities, please meet Representative Eli Shellberg at the specified rendezvous. We await your decision.
Saluations,
Danica Koop
MUE Public Relaitions
"What does it say, Mario? Is it another letter from the princess?" Mario gave him the letter to read. Luigi looked as surprised as Mario. "Is this for real? You were invited to a party. And they picked you because you're such a cool guy! That's really swell, Mario! I'm happy for you." Luigi rubbed his forehead. "But, I'm not quite sure I've ever even heard of the Green Chime. They said it was exclusive, but how do they attract business if they're a secret? Do you think Peach knows about it?" Mario began to walk toward the door. "Well, if you're going to the café, I guess you should leave now. I'll come with you, in case you don't come home before you leave." Mario and Luigi walked the path to Toadtown.
While on Main Street, Mario and Luigi headed toward the castle. They figured they could afford to be a few minutes late for the meeting, since Peach was close by. But before they proceeded any further, a happy-looking Koopa sitting outside at a table in front of the Golden Teacher waved for their attention. "Yoo-hoo, Mario brothers! Over here." Mario turned around and noticed who was calling them. "If you're going to see the princess, she's already left for the hotel. Come sit down with me for a minute." Luigi nodded and Mario followed him to the table. "You came," he said cheerfully. "I must apologize, good sirs, for asking you to start the day this abruptly. But thank you for giving me your time. Now, the offer of a lifetime has come your way, and I am to be your guide on this magical expedition. Take a look at the primer."
"To the Green Chime, right? Mario's a guest of honor!" Luigi said, anxious to see what was in store for Mario. Mario flipped through the small book Ely gave Mario. He saw pictures that made his eyes dance. Decadent foods, paradise-like plains, and décor beyond anyone's wildest dreams.
"That's right." said Eli. "The Green Chime is full of fun and wonderment. The kind that can only be learned by those who make the journey. You brothers have traveled through space, time, and dimension. But I bet you fail to realize that the pinnacle of life was right in your own back yard. Before I go any further, Luigi…"
"Say no more, sir, I completely understand. I know the saying 'everybody and their brother,' and of course, not everybody and their brother can go to the party. Even if I am as famous a brother as I am." Luigi shrugged, not feeling phased or left out.
"Well then," Eli smiled. "That gets the BAD news out of the way. Glad to see you took it so graciously. But I have something special for you as well." He handed Luigi a black envelope with the MUE logo on it. Luigi ripped it open and began to read. He looked hapy, then sad, then happy again, went a few more times, then seemed to level off. He got to the bottom, and then looked perplexed, as if something were missing.
"I don't see a final price here. Normally I wouldn't even ask, but there is a blank box at the bottom." He handed the envelope back to Eli, past a confused Mario.
"That's the beauty. It's commission. The more you get done, the more money you will take home. And let me tell you, it increases exponentially, so the sky is the limit. Well, at least the one hundredth floor is the limit." Mario wondered if he was referring to the Green Chime Hotel.
"Wow, hear that, Mario? Oh, sorry, take a look at this. Mushroom United Enterprises wants to hire me, the great Luigi, to perform maintenance on their corporate headquarters in Mushroom City. Not just one floor either. The whole building! They've even assigned me a team to work with, and I have full access to the building. I'm gonna make a killing! You have fun at your hoity-toity party! Bring me home some dih-vores in a to-go box."
With both brothers happy and full of anticipation, Eli hesitated no further to instruct them on their way. He gave no quarter in hurrying them. Two strange-looking buses pulled up. One, white, parked outside the café, and the other, black, parked directly opposite, in front of the post office.
"Those buses can't be for us. I still need to go home and get my tool box! And Mario needs to change into something a little less country, don't you think, Mario?" Luigi inquired.
"Nonsense," said Eli. "Your tools have already been Fed-Egged to World Ave. and Columbia Blvd. They will be waiting for you at baggage claim on the first floor. And you, Mario," he felt the red sleeve of Mario's shirt, the stitch of his white gloves and the strap of his blue overalls. "I can tell your clothes have been freshly ironed. Perfectly suitable dinner garb. You'll find that the people at the Chime can tell who is fancy and who isn't, regardless of their wear." In contrast, he examined Luigi's identical outfit with the green shirt. "Your work uniform looks pristine as ever. A whistly work day awaits you. Now get on, you two, take your seats. You have everything you need." Eli folded his hands, stood up, bowed, and entered the café.
Mario and Luigi just exchanged worrisome glances. "How did they get my tool box? I used it just this morning." Like a man, Luigi forewent his answer from Mario and decided to stop staling. He walked across the street and boarded the black bus. Mario stepped onto his respective bus. The smell startled him. It was the fact there was no smell. Each seat looked absent of any bottom marks, and the floor even so clean Mario wondered of the man-hours put into it, or just if it was a brand new bus. The bus driver, a portly female Lakitu eyed Mario, gave a wide smile, and squeaked, "Mornin'! Take a seat there, fella! Shouldn't be more than a half an hour ride. Hope ya don't mind talk radio and starin' at cattle! Just don't get the two confused. Haha!" Mario smiled at her joke, and went to the middle of the bus to sit down. A few more passengers were on it, but hardly enough to fill the massive luxury land-ship. A miserable-looking teenage Koopa was texting from his Mailbox SP, an ordinary Grubba was sleeping, and at the back of the bus, a human in an odd-colored suit was tightly pulled behind a seat, giggling, seemingly hiding from people who weren't even looking for him. He shall be elaborated upon, later.
The buses' air braked sounded, and the white bus began to drive toward the rolling green hills and bright blue sky of Moo Moo Meadows, on the edge of Mushroom County. The black bus drove toward the hive of light smog shrouding the sleek and macabre skyscrapers of Mushroom City. Mario caught sight of Luigi at his own eye level on the other bus. He didn't look as happy as he did a few minutes ago. This transferred to Mario. Already, both brothers were worried, and rightfully so. Over the years, they had developed noses for danger, even the most absurd kind.