Hello, folks! This "Walt Disney's Alice in Wonderland in 5 Minutes"! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own the Disney film.

"Walt Disney's Alice in Wonderland in 5 Minutes"

Sister: Blah blah blah, yada yada yada, blah blah...
Alice: If I have a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. In other words: strange, silly, and weird.
Dinah: Meow!
White Rabbit: Ack! I'm late! I'm late!
Alice: Holey moley, a talking rabbit with a watch! Now being the dumb blonde I am, I should follow! 1
(Alice follows the Rabbit and she falls down the hole. She meets the Doorknob.)
Doorknob: Hey! Watch where you twist that knob!
Alice: Oops, sorry. Can I get in?
Doorknob: No way. You're WAY too big. Drink that bottle on the table over there.
Alice: What if it's poisoned?
(She shrugs and drinks it anyway. She shrinks.)
Doorknob: Uh-oh, I forgot something: I'M LOCKED.
Alice: NOOOO-- hey, is that a cookie I see before me?
(She eats is and she grew big. WAY big.)
Doorknob: I see London, I see France, I see pretty underpants.
Alice: I wanna go home! Waaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!
Doorknob: Gurgle... no wait... gurgle gurgle... stop!
(Alice grew small again. She rides the bottle where she reaches the shores of Wonderland.)
Tweedles: Hellooo, Dolly!
Alice: Who the heck are you?
Tweedledum: Tweedledum!
Tweedledee: Tweedledee!
Tweedles: Let's hear it for The Walrus and the Carpenter!
Walrus: Mwahahaha, good-bye, oysters! CHOMP!
Carpenter: I'LL KEEL YOU!
Tweedles: The end!
Alice: What a strange story. Well, gotta go!
(Alice finds the White Rabbit's house)
Alice: Now I wonder what idiot lives here...
White Rabbit: Mary Ann, fetch me my gloves!
Alice: Ooh, another cookie. (eats it, grows big) Aw, rats!
White Rabbit: Aaahh! Monster!
Dodo: Kill the Beast! 2
White Rabbit: Wrong movie.
Dodo: Oops... Let's burn the house down!
White Rabbit: Nooo! My furniture!
(Alice eats a carrot and escapes. She ends up in a garden.)
Flowers: Hee hee hee, we're pretty flowers and you're an ugly weed. Shoo!
Alice: Talking rude flowers...
Caterpillar: Who... are... you?
Alice: Why don't you tell me your name first?
Caterpillar: Why?
Alice: Everything is so confusing today!
Caterpillar: Eat the mushroom, and you'll grow big and small.
(Alice eats one side of the mushroom. She grew very tall.)
Bird: Help! Serpent!
Alice: I'm not a serpent!
Bird: Liar!
(Alice eats the other side and grew to the size she wants to be.)
Alice: Okay, now where do I go from here?
Cheshire Cat: (sings a very scary song)
Alice: Whoa! You're a cat!
Cheshire Cat: Call me Cheshire Cat.
Alice: Whatever. So can you tell me which way I ought to go? I'm looking for the White Rabbit.
Cheshire Cat: Doesn't matter which way you go. But if I were looking for a White Rabbit, I'd ask the Mad Hatter.
Alice: Why?
Cheshire Cat: He's mad. I'm mad. We're all mad here. Mwahahaha! (disappears and leaves his grin behind)
Alice: Spooky...
(Then she goes to the tea party.)
Mad Hatter and March Hare: A verry merry Unbirthday to us!
Alice: Nice.
March Hare: Who are you? Where do you come from? You're not invited.
Mad Hatter: Have a cup of tea.
Alice: Okay...
Mad Hatter: Clean cup! Clean up! Move down!
Alice: I haven't even drank mine!
March Hare: Let's change the subject.
Mad Hatter: Why is a raven like a writing-desk?
Alice: (repeats it) Why is a raven like a writing-desk?
March Hare: Eek! You're mad!
Mad Hatter: Stay back! Don't come any closer!
White Rabbit: (appears) No time for this! I'm late!
Mad Hatter: Ooh, look at that watch. I'm gonna destroy it. (he destroys it)
White Rabbit: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
(Alice gets lost again.)
Alice: I'm lost! I can't find my way!
Cheshire Cat: You have no ways here. All the ways here are the Queen's ways. You must meet her. She'll be mad about you! Mwahahahaha!
(Alice find's the Queen's land.)
Card Painters: Painting the roses red, we're painting the roses red...
Alice: The Queen!
Queen: My roses! Off with their heads! You, little girl standing there, do you play qroquet?
Alice: Uh-huh.
(The play the game.)
Cheshire Cat: Hiya, babe.
Alice: Don't bother me, Cheshire Cat.
Queen: Quiet!
Cheshire Cat: Let's flip the Queen.
Alice: No!
Cheshire Cat: Yes!
Alice: No!
Cheshire Cat: Yes!
Alice: No!
Cheshire Cat: Yes!
Alice: No!
Cheshire Cat: ... No.
Alice: Yes! ... Aw crap, no!
(The Queen gets flipped.)
Alice: Oh, snap.
Queen: Off with her--
King: Trial first!
(Trial)
Queen: Name your sentence.
Alice: But what about my verdict?
Queen: Sentence first, verdict afterwards.
Alice: Hey, that's not fair!
Queen: Fairs for tourists, kid. 3
White Rabbit: First witness!
March Hare: I know nothing whatsoever.
White Rabbit: Second witness!
Dormouse: Twinkle, twinkle litle bat...
White Rabbit: Third witness!
Mad Hatter: I swear it wasn't me! I was home drinking tea because today's my unbirtday!
Queen: It is? Let's party!
Alice: Hey, Your Majesty, the Cheshire Cat is sitting on your head!
Dormouse: CAT?
(There was chaos. The Queen ends up getting jam on her face and gets whammed on the head by a mallet.)
Queen: Somebody's head is gonna roll for this!
Mad Hatter: (gives Alice the mallet) It's been nice knowing you, my dear.
Queen: (to Alice) YOU!
(Alice ate both the mushrooms (stupid!) and she grew big.)
Alice: A-hahaha! I win!
(She shrinks.)
Alice: Rats.
Queen: OFF WITH HER HEAD!
Sister: Blah blah blah, and that's why the chicken crossed the road! ... Alice? Wake up!
Alice: (wakes up) Huh? Oh, what a strange dream I had.

The End

1 - No offense to all blondes out there.
2 - A line from "Beauty and the Beast".
3 - a line from "Oliver and Company".

Well, what do you think?
Yes, I'm mad, right?