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For All The Times
Summary: Sam's in Atlantis feeling a little homesick. A few items remind her of the good times and why she does what she does. S4 SGA spoilers SJ
I'd like to dedicate this to the Shipper Thread at GateWorld. Let's face it, we've talked about this a lot!
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Sam pushed her chair back from her desk, sighing. It was late and Atlantis was quiet. Even though things had calmed down somewhat and she'd begun to settle in, she still didn't feel right being there.
Not everyone was taking too kindly to her taking Dr. Weir's place, even though it wasn't permanent. At least she didn't want it to be. Sam sincerely hoped Elizabeth would recover and be able to retake command. She knew the big wigs back in the Milky Way were discussing the future of Atlantis and anything could happen. However, Sam didn't want to be there longer than necessary. She'd left a lot back home.
Sam swiveled in her chair to face the shelving unit behind her desk. Five pictures sat in a row, the line only interrupted by a small, wooden box. She picked each picture up individually, gazing fondly at each one.
The picture of Teal'c was priceless. It was a wonderful shot, and Sam was grateful the usually camera shy Jaffa had let her have this keepsake. Next, she picked up Cassie's senior picture. It was a few years old, but Sam treasured the portrait. She'd grown up into a fine young lady. Janet would be proud.
Sam smiled lightly as she held up the next frame. It was smaller than the rest, but no less important. Daniel was looking rather dashing in his tux. It was the one he'd worn on Sam's wedding day. Then came her father, also looking quite debonair in his dress blues. That picture had been taken long before the Tok'ra. Sam still felt a pang in her heart when she thought of that particular loss.
Lastly, Sam grasped the picture of she and Jack. It was at the cabin, when she'd finally decided to go. She hadn't chosen the wedding picture to display. While that was very special to her, there was just something about this particular shot. Of the change it signified. Them, on the dock fishing, about to venture on a journey that had the potential to be greater than anything they'd ever done before. Even more amazing than traveling the stars.
God, she missed him.
Sam reluctantly set the frame down, fond memories being pummeled by melancholy. They never got a break, it seemed. Now they weren't separated by mountains and plains or forests and streams, but by the vastness of the universe. And while she'd always loved space, at that moment, Sam detested it.
It was so hard to be there, away from everything she knew and loved, but she had a job to do. Duty always came first. Sam was proud of her position. It was a great accolade. But no one said greatness came easily. There were so many personal sacrifices. Five of them sat in a row in front of her.
Sam's eyes fell to the small box that was amidst the pictures. She picked it up, running her fingers over the smooth wood. It opened with a small click and the Air Force officer gazed at what was inside. Two sets of silver eagles were nestled on the velvety cushion. One was shiny and new, the set all newly promoted colonels were given. But those hadn't been the ones pinned on her during the ceremony. Jack had done the honors, as he had both times before. The eagles he'd pinned on her shoulders were still lustrous, but were slightly worn. Sam had seen them countless times upon his shoulders. Now they would rest proudly on hers.
She returned the box where it belonged and rose from the desk. When Sam reached the door, she turned and looked back once more towards the objects she'd brought from home. Then, leaving the office in darkness, she headed towards her quarters.
Atlantis was sure to test her ability as a commander, her military prowess. The science and technology would try the bounds of her mind and her imagination. And hopefully, those under her command would come to find her as a friend and confidant, not only their boss. As much as Sam was an Air Force colonel and an astrophysicist, she was a person. She hated to think that everyone who cared about that aspect of her was back on Earth. It would take time, but Sam wanted to become more than just an acquaintance with the personnel. It seemed at the moment all she had was McKay, she thought with a slight chuckle.
Sam knew when she got to her room her wedding ring would be sitting by her bedside, and it wouldn't take long before her ring finger no longer felt barren. And as she fell asleep, she'd remember the last few days she'd been at home. Beating Cam and Teal'c at poker. Going to dinner and a movie with Vala. Joining in Daniel's enthusiasm over SG-5's newest find. Playing chess with Cassie. Falling asleep and waking up in Jack's arms.
That was why she did what she did, no matter how difficult it was. It was her job to help protect Earth, whether it be at the SGC or in the Pegasus galaxy. Sam also knew that by defending Earth and their way of life, she was preserving what she treasured so much.
This was for all the times she'd cherished with her friends. For everyone she'd ever held dear and even for people she didn't know. This was for her marriage to the greatest man the galaxy had ever known. It wasn't a completely selfless act.
Life in Atlantis would take some getting used to and there would be homesickness. But that was the point of all this. To have something to go home to.
And back on Earth, Sam did.
A/N: The pictures and Sam being promoted are actually true spoilers. One could only wish the marriage part was!