I had always been cautious with love- growing up I didn't see much or it. I didn't feel much of it either. I felt hate, fear, anger, depression- many negative emotions, few positive ones.

I wasn't ever a child. I had to grow up before I got the chance to play with other kids or play with toys. I didn't have many of those- toys, I mean. Despite the fact that my mother was a rich and famous actress I didn't ever get what I wanted from her. Most of her money went to drugs and alcohol and whatever else she wanted.

But I didn't have too many friends either. It was always the same with each school: people would try and become my "friend" but once they saw that I was a freak they would make me the odd one out and, eventually, I would rebel and get myself kicked out of school. No matter though. My mom would just get her employers to send me to some other school and the cycle could begin again.

For a while I had hoped for friends and a new start each time I transferred schools, but nothing ever changed and I learned to stop hoping- all I ever got was disappointment.

Then, when I was seven, Jason came along and I found somebody to love. I had a true family member now. Of course that didn't last too long. I should've guessed. Jason was taken away and I was once again alone with my mother. So I ran.

I was out on my own for a couple of weeks, but then he came along. He was so inviting and a gentleman- for the most part. Under different circumstances I would've ignored him and left, just push him away like everyone else that I met, but I was becoming lonely and something about him made me think that I could trust him.

He and I became a team soon after.

At first it was a bit awkward- trying to get to know each other without sharing too much- but when monsters started to attack we learned to trust each other much quicker.

He was an only child; his mother had been a single mom- just like mine- and she had issues- just like mine- except we never really got into details.

The more we shared and the longer we traveled together it became increasingly difficult to be cautious with my emotions for him. I wanted to be with him. I couldn't help it.

He taught me his ways of survival and I taught him mine. I taught him how to cook in the wild and he taught me how to steal- although I never did it as often as he did. He also taught me how to slow dance- not really a survival skill, but I loved it none the less.

Everything was fine- more than fine. Then Annabeth came along- so innocent, so sweet, and so bright for her age. We were a family- I had a family. And we were all going to a strange place called Camp Half-Blood- according to an even stranger boy named Grover- and I was excited. I was going to a place that could possibly be at a new home- a permanent home- and I had people to share it with.

But things came to an abrupt end. As the monsters' claws slashed through my skin I thought about how I had never even told Luke about how I felt. Stupid.

But then I was brought back. There was a chance that I could still be with him. But no. Love was just not a part of my lucky side.

Chiron's words came crashing down on my like a roof caving in. Luke was a traitor. He betrayed Mount Olympus. I couldn't believe it- didn't want to believe it. But there was no denying the truth.

So I fought for what was right and I joined the huntresses- just as Zoe predicted. And just as Zoe had predicted, Luke had let me down.

It's all stupid now that I look back at it. I should have never thrown caution to the wind. All I got out of it was a broken heart and a million tears.

After all, I of all people should have remembered that all that's left in the end is faint memories and death.

Nothing more, nothing less.