Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or the song which is by Hinder called Better Than Me.
Better Than Me,
I think you can do much better than me
After all the lies that I made you believe
Guilt kicks in and I start to see
The edge of the bed
Where your nightgown used to be
I told myself I won't miss you
I don't know how many times I told you I didn't love her; I know what I made you believe. I still remember the sadness and disbelief cross your face when she announced it to everyone at dinner. I feel like an idiot because I knew she was going to tell, but I just didn't want us to be finished. I just came from the place we used to meet and I remember the last time I saw you sitting there on the end of the bed wearing that blue nightgown you loved so much and laughing at something I said. But now I'm getting married and I'm not meant to miss you, even though I know I will.
But I remember
What it feels like beside you
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
I would love it when you would give a girlish giggle when I kissed your neck; I would leave behind a love bite, marking you as mine. The first time I took you on my broom; it was an amazing night with the moon as full as it could have been filling the whole school with a slivery white light. Your hair would go flying everywhere. Your kisses were sweet and innocent with more passion in them then a wild fire, leaving everything touched by it ruined until it grows back. I could only hope I end up loving her like I love you.
While looking through your old box of notes
I found those pictures I took
That you were looking for
If there's one memory I don't want to lose
That time at the mall
You and me in the dressing room
I was walking around the room and noticed the wooden box you kept our photos in. I opened them and saw the picture of us at the beach and you were looking like a goddess, did you know that the myth of Aphrodite was that she emerged from the ocean spray as a fully grown woman, naked and all.
The other photo was of us at the store at New Zealand, I remember we locked the door in the dressing rooms and did it right there and then. I never feel that when I'm with her and we never did any of the things that we use to.
But I remember
What it feels like beside you
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
When we won the war you were right there beside me helping me stand as the force of a spell had knocked me down. With you right there with me I was more than just some guy or even some dot on the face on the plant, with you I felt like God, immortal and forever young. I saw your face as she ran up to me and kissed me, I saw your face as I returned the kiss and you looked like your whole world had fallen apart.
The bed I'm lying in is getting colder
Wish I never would've said it's over
And I can't pretend... I won't think about you when I'm older
Cause we never really had our closure
This can't be the end
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
You wouldn't take me back not after I told you nothing was going on between us, not after I told you I didn't love her, not after she said we were getting married. No, I know you better then any other, I saw the fake smiles you have perfected over the years; I saw the fake happiness you had when you went up to hug her and me. I know it was killing you inside every part of you wanting to stomp your feet and run off crying like any other woman would have done, but you didn't because you would have hated mw knowing that you were crying over me. I wanted to say something, tell I was sorry, but whenever I would get close you would walk off and start speaking to someone.
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
10 years later
I am as unhappy as I was the day I got married but I didn't let anyone know that. My wife was happy and our son, Jacob, was blissfully unaware of anything other then his coming birthday. It makes me even more unhappy to see you happy, to see you laugh and smile with some other guy and to see they are not fake. I reply the memory of you holding your first child, she was beautiful and I couldn't help but wish that she was ours. That the little baby girl in your arms with the tuff of brown hair and blue eyes was our daughter and not yours and his.
I see you walking down the stairs and I see your husband, how I love him and hate at the same time.
You smile at me and I wish to drown in it, it took you a little more over 3 years to smile again at me and those years were like hell.
You both look over your shoulders and I see your daughter, Lily and her younger brother James walking down the stairs.
He goes to help them and I decided to speak, "It's nice to see you again." It was nice; it had been weeks from the last time he had seen her.
"It's nice to see you again too Sirius." She gave me a beautiful smile and a kiss on the cheek.
He came back down carrying little James and he shook my hand. "Harry, how are you?" out of all the people in the world she had to fall in love with it had to be his Godson. But in truth she did deserve better than me.
The End
Jessica