The woman was pointing her wand at Sirius as a jet of light burst
forth. Harry could see his face, his eyes wide with shock as he fell back
through the archway, beyond the veil...
"NOOOOO!"
Harry opened his eyes and found himself on the floor of the Headmaster's office. He stood slowly and tried to ignore the concerned clucks of the portraits that surrounded him and the whirring sounds of the ridiculous instruments cluttering the room. He kept head lowered and wiped his tears on his robes. He would not let Dumbledore see him like this... not after all the hard months of training and the considerable lack of progress. Not much improvement had been made since they had resumed Occlumency lessons at the beginning of term his Sixth Year. Although he had not felt the presence of Voldemort in his dreams or elsewhere, it was still vital that he learn to keep his mind closed, and he was furious with himself that he was not doing any better. He didn't want to let Dumbledore down. Not after he let himself down. "Not after I let Sirius down." He thought. He would not let himself be seen as weak.
Finally, he looked up and saw Dumbledore, his eyes sad and twinkling behind his half moon spectacles.
"I'm sorry, Professor. Let's try again. I know I can do better." Harry found himself saying.
"No, Harry. I feel as though I am the one who should feel sorry. Though I am quite sure Professor Snape let you know that the mind is not a book to open to any page one chooses. Not even I am that skilled at Occlumency to know exactly where I will end up in your memories. I am sorry to have dredged up that particular one, especially during holidays. But bear this in mind, Harry; Voldemort and his followers use these types of painful memories to gather information, and even as a form of torture. Training and strength of mind is particularly important to exert when they find these memories. We cannot avoid practicing with them for long."
"I know, Professor." Harry's eyes fell upon the floor again. Worse than making Dumbledore angry was the feeling that Harry had disappointed him in some way. After Sirius had died, Dumbledore was now the adult he felt closest to, along with Hagrid. He was the last person he wanted to fail in front of.
"I think we can end our lesson a bit early today, Harry." Said Dumbledore. "It is the holidays, after all, and I expect you would like to get back to you common room to enjoy a few of those new presents of yours."
---------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------
Harry was walking in the corridors on his way back to the Gryffindor common room. The school was virtually empty as most students went home for Christmas. He, Ron and Hermione were the only Gryffindors left. He found himself thinking how oddly Ron and Hermione had been acting lately. They didn't really speak to each other very much any more, at least not in front of Harry. He'd run into them talking in hushed tones around the school, and sneaking off quickly after meals. He reckoned it had something to do with his telling them of the prophecy after the Halloween. He now realized it had been something of a mistake. Hermione had burst into tears and flung herself around his neck muttering "Oh Harry... you poor thing...." while Ron just stood there mouth agape, awestruck. He only managed to spit out "Rough deal, mate" before collapsing into the nearest chair in the common room. Ever since then, they seemed to be spending a lot more time together than with him. As he thought of how they were acting, a painful feeling gnawed in his stomach. He already felt very alone, what with Sirius gone, and the last thing he needed were his best friends ignoring him.
He found himself storming up the stairs and stamping his feet until he got to the Fat Lady, ready to lash out at the two of them for their treatment of him.
"Password?"
"Aconite", Harry said, growling.
"My dear, do watch your temper. It's *hic* the Holidays" said the Fat Lady, who was clearly drunk and having a visit with Vi.
The portrait hole swung open and as Harry climbed through, thinking hard about what horrible things to say to Ron and Hermione he saw a sight that make him stumble and fall.
There was Hermione, laying on her back on one of the couches with Ron on top of her, kissing her passionately. Apparently, Harry's fall alerted Hermione to his presence, as Harry heard a loud shriek then a thud. Hermione had thrown Ron off of her on to the floor.
"Gee, Hermione, I knew you said you liked it rough but I didn't reckon you meant with me", said Ron, getting to his feet. She whimpered and pointed. "What is it?" Ron said as he turned around. His already pale face went chalk white as his eyes fell on Harry.
Harry just stood and looked at the both of them in shock. Suddenly, everything clicked into place. They weren't running around behind his back talking because they thought he was on the verge of getting murdered, it was because they were dating.
Ron's ears went pink as he looked at Harry, sputtering, while Hermione's eyes were wide and fearful. Both looked as him as though he were a ticking time bomb.
Harry rushed past them without a word and ran up the left stairs to the boy's dormitories. Somehow, seeing his two best friends kissing made him feel much, much worse. He collapsed onto his four-poster bed, head pounding while trying to sort it all out.
Harry had suspected that Ron and Hermione had fancied each other for quite some time, ever since their row over Viktor Krum fourth year, but he figured that they fought too much for anything to come of it. He knew he wasn't jealous of Ron. Hermione was his best friend, after Ron, but that's all she would ever be to him. As much as he cared for her, she was too serious for him. Time spent with Hermione meant too many books, not enough Quidditch.
But to see them like that... right in his own common room. His two best friends, kissing on the couch. It was very unsettling. Even more unsettling was the fact that they had hid this from him. They had shared everything with each other. Why couldn't they tell him this? Harry felt very hurt. He began to wonder what else they might have been keeping from him...
Just then, Ron and Hermione burst into the dormitory, both of them talking loudly at the same time
"We wanted to tell you...
"...we're sorry..."
"...we thought you'd kill us..."
"WELL, YOU WERE RIGHT ON THE LAST COUNT!!" Harry was shouting before he even realized it.
Hermione looked to be on the verge of tears.
"WHY COULDN'T YOU TELL ME THE TRUTH!!? ALL THIS TIME I'VE FELT LIKE CRAP BECAUSE YOU TWO HAD BEEN IGNORING ME AND IT TURNS OUT YOU WERE SNEAKING OFF TO SNOG??!!!"
"Harry-"Ron started
"WHAT?? SO NOW IT'S OBVIOUS YOU TWO CARE MORE ABOUT EACH OTHER THAN YOU DO ABOUT ME! I'M JUST GOING TO BE THE THIRD WHEEL, TAGGING ALONG WITH YOU TWO!!!"
Harry fell back onto his bed, and buried his face in his hands. Sirius was gone, Dumbledore was disappointed in him, and now his best friends didn't give a shit about him anymore. They'd rather make out than spend time with him. He started to feel truly and deeply alone, for the first time since his trip home from Hogwarts last summer. "What's the bloody point in staying alive to fight Voldemort if all the people who I would fight him for don't care about me?" he thought.
He lifted his head and said "To think I believed the reason you two were ignoring me was because you thought I was about to get murdered any moment and that you couldn't stand being around me because the thought worried you too much." He choked out a hollow laugh, and felt his eyes starting to grow wet with tears. If Ron and Hermione didn't care about him, what was the point?
There was a long silence amongst the three of them. Finally, Hermione sat down on the bed next to him.
"Oh Harry... that's not it at all... I feel so awful" Hermione's voice wavered as tears streamed down her cheeks.
"We didn't expect you to get back so early...we just-
"...thought you'd have a little snog session while I got to see Sirius die again."
Hermione was now sobbing. Harry felt a twinge of guilt. He didn't want to see Hermione like this, but part of him felt it was what she deserved, what they both deserved. They should feel as badly as he feels for once. Why should he always be the one that bad things happened to. It just wasn't fair.
"God, Harry, I'm so sorry." Said Hermione, composing herself a bit " I know we've been keeping our distance from you and I know it's not fair. But you were right. It's hard to be around someone you care about when you know they could die any moment. I know you think that we don't care about you Harry but we do. That's why it's been so hard to talk to you. It's not right... I know it's not right... but it's the truth."
"Sure is a funny way of showing you care" Harry snorted.
"Look mate, I know what we've done to you is wrong, you just have to try and see it from out angle. It's not been easy, not talking to you like we used to but what do you say to your best mate when you know he's destined to die or to murder?" Said Ron
"I don't know, maybe you could have told me you did care about me so it wouldn't seem so pointless to fight Voldemort in the first place. Maybe you could've told me you were in a relationship instead of going around behind my back." Harry said vindictively.
"The reason we had been going around behind your back was because we knew how you'd feel if you found out. It was a horrible thing to do Harry, but we didn't want you to feel like you were tagging along if you knew we were together. We should've told you straight away." Said Hermione.
"So, how long precisely have you two been going around behind my back? Since Halloween, I take it?"
"Well, yeah" said Hermione. Through her tears she began to blush. "I guess when you told us about the prophecy... Ron and I had a talk about how scary it is that we could lose you, Harry, and how Ron and I could die, too. And we just... we kissed. We love each other, Harry. We love you too, Harry. You need to know that. It's just harder because with you things seem ...grimmer, I guess. You're our best friend, Harry. If anything happened to you... a part of us would die with you. We love you." Hermione looked at him, gave him a kiss on the cheek and hugged him hard and tight. Despite himself, Harry felt his anger slipping away. He needed this right now. He needed to be held. He had needed to know that they cared.
"Now Hermione, don't get too grabby with Harry here" said Ron, laughing. "I need to have a go too"
And at that, Ron picked grabbed him off the bed and patted him hard on the back.
"You alright, Harry?" asked Ron
To be honest, Harry wasn't quite sure how he felt. Things were going to be different between the three of them now. He could not deny that. He still felt some anger towards them for not letting him know their secret, and yet... This was Ron and Hermione he was talking about. They were his first friends, and his best ones. They'd saved his life, and he theirs. Nothing could change that.
"Just promise me never to let me catch you kissing on the common room couch again." Said Harry, smiling.
"That's more like it. Look, from now on, no secrets, no ignoring anyone, just the three of us, together. That's how it's always been, and that's how it always should be. The fearless three, right Harry? Hermione?"
Harry nodded, and Hermione leapt up and cried tears of joy.
"I think it's almost time for the feast" said Hermione brightly, as she took Ron's hand.
The three of them headed down the stairs on the way to the Great Hall, visions of treacle pudding and fat roasted turkeys in their heads. They went in and sat down, together.
THE END
"NOOOOO!"
Harry opened his eyes and found himself on the floor of the Headmaster's office. He stood slowly and tried to ignore the concerned clucks of the portraits that surrounded him and the whirring sounds of the ridiculous instruments cluttering the room. He kept head lowered and wiped his tears on his robes. He would not let Dumbledore see him like this... not after all the hard months of training and the considerable lack of progress. Not much improvement had been made since they had resumed Occlumency lessons at the beginning of term his Sixth Year. Although he had not felt the presence of Voldemort in his dreams or elsewhere, it was still vital that he learn to keep his mind closed, and he was furious with himself that he was not doing any better. He didn't want to let Dumbledore down. Not after he let himself down. "Not after I let Sirius down." He thought. He would not let himself be seen as weak.
Finally, he looked up and saw Dumbledore, his eyes sad and twinkling behind his half moon spectacles.
"I'm sorry, Professor. Let's try again. I know I can do better." Harry found himself saying.
"No, Harry. I feel as though I am the one who should feel sorry. Though I am quite sure Professor Snape let you know that the mind is not a book to open to any page one chooses. Not even I am that skilled at Occlumency to know exactly where I will end up in your memories. I am sorry to have dredged up that particular one, especially during holidays. But bear this in mind, Harry; Voldemort and his followers use these types of painful memories to gather information, and even as a form of torture. Training and strength of mind is particularly important to exert when they find these memories. We cannot avoid practicing with them for long."
"I know, Professor." Harry's eyes fell upon the floor again. Worse than making Dumbledore angry was the feeling that Harry had disappointed him in some way. After Sirius had died, Dumbledore was now the adult he felt closest to, along with Hagrid. He was the last person he wanted to fail in front of.
"I think we can end our lesson a bit early today, Harry." Said Dumbledore. "It is the holidays, after all, and I expect you would like to get back to you common room to enjoy a few of those new presents of yours."
---------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------
Harry was walking in the corridors on his way back to the Gryffindor common room. The school was virtually empty as most students went home for Christmas. He, Ron and Hermione were the only Gryffindors left. He found himself thinking how oddly Ron and Hermione had been acting lately. They didn't really speak to each other very much any more, at least not in front of Harry. He'd run into them talking in hushed tones around the school, and sneaking off quickly after meals. He reckoned it had something to do with his telling them of the prophecy after the Halloween. He now realized it had been something of a mistake. Hermione had burst into tears and flung herself around his neck muttering "Oh Harry... you poor thing...." while Ron just stood there mouth agape, awestruck. He only managed to spit out "Rough deal, mate" before collapsing into the nearest chair in the common room. Ever since then, they seemed to be spending a lot more time together than with him. As he thought of how they were acting, a painful feeling gnawed in his stomach. He already felt very alone, what with Sirius gone, and the last thing he needed were his best friends ignoring him.
He found himself storming up the stairs and stamping his feet until he got to the Fat Lady, ready to lash out at the two of them for their treatment of him.
"Password?"
"Aconite", Harry said, growling.
"My dear, do watch your temper. It's *hic* the Holidays" said the Fat Lady, who was clearly drunk and having a visit with Vi.
The portrait hole swung open and as Harry climbed through, thinking hard about what horrible things to say to Ron and Hermione he saw a sight that make him stumble and fall.
There was Hermione, laying on her back on one of the couches with Ron on top of her, kissing her passionately. Apparently, Harry's fall alerted Hermione to his presence, as Harry heard a loud shriek then a thud. Hermione had thrown Ron off of her on to the floor.
"Gee, Hermione, I knew you said you liked it rough but I didn't reckon you meant with me", said Ron, getting to his feet. She whimpered and pointed. "What is it?" Ron said as he turned around. His already pale face went chalk white as his eyes fell on Harry.
Harry just stood and looked at the both of them in shock. Suddenly, everything clicked into place. They weren't running around behind his back talking because they thought he was on the verge of getting murdered, it was because they were dating.
Ron's ears went pink as he looked at Harry, sputtering, while Hermione's eyes were wide and fearful. Both looked as him as though he were a ticking time bomb.
Harry rushed past them without a word and ran up the left stairs to the boy's dormitories. Somehow, seeing his two best friends kissing made him feel much, much worse. He collapsed onto his four-poster bed, head pounding while trying to sort it all out.
Harry had suspected that Ron and Hermione had fancied each other for quite some time, ever since their row over Viktor Krum fourth year, but he figured that they fought too much for anything to come of it. He knew he wasn't jealous of Ron. Hermione was his best friend, after Ron, but that's all she would ever be to him. As much as he cared for her, she was too serious for him. Time spent with Hermione meant too many books, not enough Quidditch.
But to see them like that... right in his own common room. His two best friends, kissing on the couch. It was very unsettling. Even more unsettling was the fact that they had hid this from him. They had shared everything with each other. Why couldn't they tell him this? Harry felt very hurt. He began to wonder what else they might have been keeping from him...
Just then, Ron and Hermione burst into the dormitory, both of them talking loudly at the same time
"We wanted to tell you...
"...we're sorry..."
"...we thought you'd kill us..."
"WELL, YOU WERE RIGHT ON THE LAST COUNT!!" Harry was shouting before he even realized it.
Hermione looked to be on the verge of tears.
"WHY COULDN'T YOU TELL ME THE TRUTH!!? ALL THIS TIME I'VE FELT LIKE CRAP BECAUSE YOU TWO HAD BEEN IGNORING ME AND IT TURNS OUT YOU WERE SNEAKING OFF TO SNOG??!!!"
"Harry-"Ron started
"WHAT?? SO NOW IT'S OBVIOUS YOU TWO CARE MORE ABOUT EACH OTHER THAN YOU DO ABOUT ME! I'M JUST GOING TO BE THE THIRD WHEEL, TAGGING ALONG WITH YOU TWO!!!"
Harry fell back onto his bed, and buried his face in his hands. Sirius was gone, Dumbledore was disappointed in him, and now his best friends didn't give a shit about him anymore. They'd rather make out than spend time with him. He started to feel truly and deeply alone, for the first time since his trip home from Hogwarts last summer. "What's the bloody point in staying alive to fight Voldemort if all the people who I would fight him for don't care about me?" he thought.
He lifted his head and said "To think I believed the reason you two were ignoring me was because you thought I was about to get murdered any moment and that you couldn't stand being around me because the thought worried you too much." He choked out a hollow laugh, and felt his eyes starting to grow wet with tears. If Ron and Hermione didn't care about him, what was the point?
There was a long silence amongst the three of them. Finally, Hermione sat down on the bed next to him.
"Oh Harry... that's not it at all... I feel so awful" Hermione's voice wavered as tears streamed down her cheeks.
"We didn't expect you to get back so early...we just-
"...thought you'd have a little snog session while I got to see Sirius die again."
Hermione was now sobbing. Harry felt a twinge of guilt. He didn't want to see Hermione like this, but part of him felt it was what she deserved, what they both deserved. They should feel as badly as he feels for once. Why should he always be the one that bad things happened to. It just wasn't fair.
"God, Harry, I'm so sorry." Said Hermione, composing herself a bit " I know we've been keeping our distance from you and I know it's not fair. But you were right. It's hard to be around someone you care about when you know they could die any moment. I know you think that we don't care about you Harry but we do. That's why it's been so hard to talk to you. It's not right... I know it's not right... but it's the truth."
"Sure is a funny way of showing you care" Harry snorted.
"Look mate, I know what we've done to you is wrong, you just have to try and see it from out angle. It's not been easy, not talking to you like we used to but what do you say to your best mate when you know he's destined to die or to murder?" Said Ron
"I don't know, maybe you could have told me you did care about me so it wouldn't seem so pointless to fight Voldemort in the first place. Maybe you could've told me you were in a relationship instead of going around behind my back." Harry said vindictively.
"The reason we had been going around behind your back was because we knew how you'd feel if you found out. It was a horrible thing to do Harry, but we didn't want you to feel like you were tagging along if you knew we were together. We should've told you straight away." Said Hermione.
"So, how long precisely have you two been going around behind my back? Since Halloween, I take it?"
"Well, yeah" said Hermione. Through her tears she began to blush. "I guess when you told us about the prophecy... Ron and I had a talk about how scary it is that we could lose you, Harry, and how Ron and I could die, too. And we just... we kissed. We love each other, Harry. We love you too, Harry. You need to know that. It's just harder because with you things seem ...grimmer, I guess. You're our best friend, Harry. If anything happened to you... a part of us would die with you. We love you." Hermione looked at him, gave him a kiss on the cheek and hugged him hard and tight. Despite himself, Harry felt his anger slipping away. He needed this right now. He needed to be held. He had needed to know that they cared.
"Now Hermione, don't get too grabby with Harry here" said Ron, laughing. "I need to have a go too"
And at that, Ron picked grabbed him off the bed and patted him hard on the back.
"You alright, Harry?" asked Ron
To be honest, Harry wasn't quite sure how he felt. Things were going to be different between the three of them now. He could not deny that. He still felt some anger towards them for not letting him know their secret, and yet... This was Ron and Hermione he was talking about. They were his first friends, and his best ones. They'd saved his life, and he theirs. Nothing could change that.
"Just promise me never to let me catch you kissing on the common room couch again." Said Harry, smiling.
"That's more like it. Look, from now on, no secrets, no ignoring anyone, just the three of us, together. That's how it's always been, and that's how it always should be. The fearless three, right Harry? Hermione?"
Harry nodded, and Hermione leapt up and cried tears of joy.
"I think it's almost time for the feast" said Hermione brightly, as she took Ron's hand.
The three of them headed down the stairs on the way to the Great Hall, visions of treacle pudding and fat roasted turkeys in their heads. They went in and sat down, together.
THE END