Name: Sanctuary
Author: FoxChaos
Pairings: Pezberry, eventual Kurtcheltana
Rated: Eventual M
Word Count: ~1000
A/N: This entire thing just went off with a mind of its own. I swear it just started as a "Friend is totally the 'mother hen' of the group". AND THEN IT BECAME ROMANTIC and like, this little journey of sexual fluidity. Also, I do not own Glee nor the characters, etc, etc.
He's not surprised by the role he ends up taking. Rachel has been spoiled for the most part by two doting parents and although Santana is definitely a protector at heart, she's not exactly a home-body.
Neither is he, but he knows how to take care of people, if not always how to protect them.
So he cooks most of the meals, does most of the dishes, reminds the girls that they should probably do laundry soon, and finds himself picking up around the apartment whenever he happens to have some free time between school, work, Adam, and TV. There isn't much, but he finds a way to balances it all anyway.
"Santana! For the love of Streisand the next time I have to put your shoes away I'm throwing them out!" is a common phrase yelled on a regular basis. Along with,
"Rachel, calm down and let's talk about this." Which isn't nearly as common as,
"Okay, that's it. You, kitchen. You, your room. I'm way too tired to listen to you both squabble and bicker like two year-olds. Separate and calm the fuck down."
It doesn't help that he's the oldest, if not by much. Nor that both girls have to revert to various ages that they are not whenever they get emotional, stressed, or angry. Most of the time when they fight and he's ordered them to different parts of the apartment he has to talk to Rachel first, because sometimes Santana makes her cry without meaning to (and he knows it's on accident because Santana panics and usually has to be restrained from killing whenever someone else has made Rachel cry), and then he has to go to Santana to keep her from breaking something, then back to Rachel to get her half, and back to Santana to hear her side, and usually by that time they're both cooled off enough to meet in the living-room and talk it out like actual adults and not kindergartners.
The whole situation hasn't gone completely unnoticed by his roommates, either.
Whenever Kurt tells Santana to pick up her things he's usually sniped back with a "Yeah, whatever, mom," even as the Latina does, in fact, pick her things up.
And Rachel has this terrible habit of kissing him on the cheek whenever she goes off to school if she has classes when he doesn't.
He's seen her do it with her fathers. He knows what it means.
It's exhausting, keeping Santana focused and Rachel positive and Santana from bringing home women when her roommates are home and Rachel from dating assholes and the cleaning and the cooking and dear god he just wants to watch his favorite TV shows.
He's too young to be a parent.
His roommates are too old to be acting like children.
But he doesn't say anything about it. Just keeps on trekking, because someone has to make sure Rachel actually eats right and nobody else will remember to turn on the coffee machine at 5pm so that it's ready before Santana has to leave to work a night shift.
It's when he's cleaning up after a particularly fabulous dinner (made by him, obviously) that he feels a tap on his shoulder. It's Santana, looking altogether annoyed. But she can't be too annoyed, because then she wouldn't be there in the first place. He knows her by now.
"Can I help you, Satan?" He raises an eyebrow, not hiding the snark because no, he is not their actual parent and he can still be just as sarcastic as he wishes with them.
"Drop the dishes, Lady Hummel. I gots this," comes the short, snappy reply that leaves no room for argument. Except…
"Santana… You never do dishes."
She hip-checks him out of the way, taking the washrag from his hands. "Whatever. Just go in the living-room and watch your rom-coms or whatever it is that gets your rainbow heart a'fluttering."
Kurt stares at her for a moment, then slowly walks away, never taking his eyes off her until he absolutely has to, because he's positive this is a trick.
When he gets to the living-room the couch is clear of clothing (that he had folded because wow the girls are terrible at it) and there's just his favorite blanket and boyfriend pillow present. He sits down just as slowly as he had left the kitchen, eyes shifting around in utter suspicion. Rachel walks out of her room, all smiles. He turns his suspicious eyes on her. "Rachel. Where are the clothes I folded?"
The small woman keeps smiling as she heads to the kitchen. "I put them away." And then, "Would you like some tea?" She's gone before he can answer, and fifteen minutes later is back with his favorite mug that happens to be filled with his favorite tea. Santana is following behind her, and he glances at each of them warily when they plop down on either side of him, Santana throwing Bruce to the side.
They get through two episodes of Golden Girls before he can't handle it anymore. Rachel is curled up on his left, Santana on his right, and both are resting their heads on his shoulders.
And okay, so that's normal for Rachel.
But Santana?
"Yeah. Okay. What's going on and what are you trying to bribe me for?"
He hears Rachel giggle, and sees Santana turn her head to look at him. "What? We can't appreciate our Mama Hummel sometimes?"
Kurt groans. "I hate you both." And does. He really does.
(Except that's a lie. But still.)
"Never. Ever. Call me that again."
He can see Santana's smirk from out of the corner of his eye, and he turns to glare at her.
"I'm serious, Lopez."
"Only when we're alone."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Rachel?"
Rachel proceeds to throw her legs across his lap, and Santana sets her hand on her knees, raising a challenging brow at the young man as he sees the infamous Berry pout.
With a groan, Kurt lets his head fall back to the couch.
"Swear to me, that it will only be in the presence of you and Rachel. None one else ever."
Santana smiles far too sweetly. "Lady's honor." And the scary thing is that it actually sounds sincere, and he actually believes her.
Kurt lets out an exhausted sigh, relenting. Rachel and Santana share a look. And he isn't sure what it means, but it probably translates to trouble for him somehow down the line.
By the end of the night Rachel has migrated herself to Santana's lap, who's managed to situate herself between Kurt's legs, who happens to be resting against the corner of the couch with one leg up on the couch and the other outstretched on the floor. They fall asleep like that, and despite a minor mishap where Kurt has to carefully maneuver his way out of the puppy pile in the morning to start breakfast, he supposes it's not to so bad.
And he'd be okay with it happening again.
So long as no one ever finds out.