Chapter One- The Ultradramatic Beginning... Of TEH End?

"I could swear he was right over there!"

Naruto yelled and stomped in annoyance as the object of his fury swiftly evaded his jutsu and disappeared within the trees. But the most frustrated of them all must have been Uchiha Sasuke, who ran a hand through his thick dark hair, obviously trying to restrain himself from being like a mini-me of older brother. Speaking of older siblings, Uchiha Itachi was their target, and he had strategically dodged every single attack and weapon they projected in his direction.

Sakura rested her pale palm on Sasuke's shoulder reassuringly, "He couldn't have gone far," she reasoned. "At least with not that mountain of a man-- Kisame right?" she added, trying to inject some humour into the situation. But apparently no one was in the mood. Naruto punched a nearby spruce tree, the blonde warrior's face turning a dark red, oddly contrasting his blue eyes. Sasuke angrily kicked the litter on the forest floor, and it sent a pebble from beneath its leaves in response. Sasuke absentmindedly watched it fly in the air, knowing he had failed once again to kill his older brother. And now the very reality that he might never kill him hit the younger Uchiha hard. Sakura didn't know what to do to pull the young man out of his thoughts.

So, what happened to the pebble?

That might've been the last thing you would've ever thought of, but this must be taken into account. The pebble went hurtling through the air at record speeds, efficiently catching two specific criminals off guard. One was tall with a blue coloration while the other one was pale and dark-haired. Is it not so ironic that they had the same names as Kisame and Itachi?

Kisame was dragging his big blade Somhada along the ground, making a very irritating scratch. Itachi was trying to figure out where to go to next but he couldn't hear himself think.

"Can't you carry it?" Itachi asked, annoyed, but trying extremely hard to maintain his cool.

"Yeah, but it's more convenient to drag it along the ground at an annoyingly slow and very audible way." Kisame retorted as he now pulled it along more slowly and audibly then before.

Itachi sighed and waited for Kisame to return in his earshot before continuing.

"In case you haven't caught on yet, we are trying to be an overdramatic yet entertaining escape, and it doesn't help when----" He was cut off when a pebble went speeding toward him at back-breaking speeds, and whacked the side of his head and then bounced off. It also hit Kisame's head too, and a hollow sound was heard. Itachi blinked and tried to clear his mind, but all he could think was, What the hell am I doing here? Who is this blue-skinned physcopath?!

Apparently Itachi has just snapped out of it. If you think that's awful, then what happened to Kisame?

Well, he was thinking, Black is like so NOT my colour! And he voiced this opinion to the older Uchiha and received a strange, flabbergasted look in return.

"Huh? Who are you?" Itachi asked, but wasn't sure he wanted to know.

But Kisame didn't notice. His mind was filled with...pretty knickknacks and doodads, like magical ponies! Yes how he loved magical ponies!! Ponies and sparkly things like fairy wands! Yay!

"I now know what my mission in life was meant to be." Kisame said solemnly, like anyone cared. And without further ado, he added, "I must discover... the BWGIM."

"What's that?" Itachi asked, fearful.

"The Barbie-World-Girl-In-Me!" Kisame squealed in delightfulness and started twirling around like there was no tomorrow. Itachi stared at this monstrosity in horror.

"I...think...I want...my mommy."