Jack's Promise
Rated: PG (very minor language, themes)
Category: Daniel/Jack Friendship, Angst
Season: Two
Spoilers: Major: Need. Minor: Stargate: The Movie, Children of the Gods, The Serpent's Lair.
Summary: Daniel's Remark Bothers Jack
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You said I never show you any respect. I know it wasn't really you talking, but it cut deep all the same. Because it just might be true, and if it is, I am so sorry. Most days, I feel like you're a lost little puppy who needs me to take care of him. A wounded lamb that needs shelter from the storm. A too curious cat who needs me to keep him out of trouble. A gentle soul caught up in the tortures of a life no one should have to lead. Sometimes a pain in my ass, but always my responsibility. It was the most natural thing in the world for me to take you in when you returned to Earth after losing Sha're. It felt right. You needed me. It was my job to look after you. So it's hard for me to see you as the man you are, rather than the innocent you were.
Even though I know a lot of things have changed, I can't help but watch over you. I can't let my guard down. You're still learning this game. And if anything ever got to you because of something I neglected to look after, I could never forgive myself. So, yes, I check your pack. I make sure you have everything you need. I ask you questions over and over again, and that probably annoys the crap out of you. But I have to. It's my job. I'm a soldier. I'm responsible for my team. Me. And me alone. I have to be certain that every possible thing that can be done to ensure your safety is, in fact, done. I also have to keep you at arm's length. If I get too close, it compromises me. I might miss something, and I can't allow that. So I stay at a professional distance, and do the best that I can. It's all I can do.
But I do respect you, more than you know. How could I not? I know that I might not be the best at showing how I feel, but you've saved my ass more times that I can count, and you earned my respect on Abydos. Hands down, bar none. Even if you hadn't told me you'd watch my back on Apophis' ship, looking death bravely in the face once again and playing the perfect soldier, you'd still be way up there on my list of people that I admire and cherish.
Yep, you're important to me, Dannyboy.
More than I think you'll ever know. I doubt I'll ever get better at this showing people how I feel thing, but it doesn't change my opinion. I'm sorry if I give you the wrong impression most days.
I'll try to make up for it now.
Because I do know what this is. I do know what it's like. And the fires of hell couldn't drag me away from you now. The walls I carefully built up around myself to keep you and everyone else out just came tumbling down in a storage closet. The desperate grasp of a friend whose own barricades were stripped away by physical need toppled them.
I won't let go. I'll get you through this. And I promise it won't make me respect you one bit less.