Hope to hear from you soon!
We were all in a maze which no one
Could escape without pain.
They were all in a maze which no one
Could manage to find the gate.
I was the one which unluckiness
Had messed with my fate.
And unfortunately, I am to blame
For putting them in this maze.
It was late in the evening. Everyone on base had already turned in for the night, with the exception of one. The concept of sleeping never came easily to him, especially if he considered everything he'd gone through over the years. He could not afford to be sad or frightened; it was part of his job. Yet he was sick and tired of having to live like this. There were times where he wanted to simply give up. Stop fighting. But he couldn't. Not for his team.
His glacier blue eyes were doleful. Over the years, everyone had tried to help him in any way they could, but he no longer accepted their help. His hope was limited. He never spoke about how he felt, even when it was eating him up inside. They in turn chose not to ask him anything, and he in turn kept his more troubling thoughts to himself. He did not want anyone else to see him as resigned and desolate, even if it was getting impossible to hide his feelings from them.
He sighed as he gazed up at the moon and the stars shining brightly against the blackened sky. This was the kind of image that reminded him of how beautiful the night could be. But it wasn't enough to ease the pain of his memories. How much light or beauty could make the darkness inside him disappear?
"Blade..."
He didn't turn around. He knew whose voice it was. The voice of his best friend. The one that was always by his side. The one that never forgot about him. The one that was there for him, even when he didn't believe it.
The one he'd let down all those years ago.
"Blade," the voice spoke again. "I know how you feel. I'm afraid, too. About next year. However—"
"The end is coming sooner than we thought," Blade cut in, already knowing that that was what he was going to say. Hearing himself speak those words made Blade sick to his stomach, but he kept a straight face.
After a moment of silence had passed, his friend's spirit resumed talking. "Don't worry about it, though," he said. "We both know by now that something like this isn't strange."
Blade frowned. "Really, Nick? You're telling me this after everything that's happened to us?"
Nick didn't answer. Blade took it as a sign to keep talking.
"You say that we know how common this is, but does that mean it's something that we're used to?" Blade's fists clenched as he spoke. "Even if we tried to stop it or change something about it, it'll be meaningless. We aren't able to fight back, even with your strong power. The same s*** will happen every time. Remember those other times, Nick? Do you?" Blade's fists unclenched. "It just isn't enough…"
Blade's words made Nick feel unsettled. Had he been alive, he would have felt nauseous. Blade took a deep breath before turning to face him.
"You're still helping me, though," he said softly. "You're still helping me even when you know there is no escape from all this, Nick."
Nick always hated it when his friend talked like that. He did his best to try and soothe his uncertainties by saying, "I know it's painful and difficult to hold on to hope, but please don't give up now! I'm sure that, with enough patience, it'll feel like the good old days have returned."
Blade sighed once again. "And when will that happen?"
Nick failed to come up with a good answer. Instead he said, "It'll happen. I'm sure of it!"
"Sure it will. Believe what you want, Nick. But if you're still disappointed by the results this year, don't think that I could have changed something. I couldn't even try to save you! By now, only a miracle can change everything and save us..."