Title: Once Loved
Author: xChocolat
Date Published: 01.13.11
Disclaimer: Eternal Sonata and its characters and plot belong to NAMCO BANDAI Games.
Summary: What happens to Falsetto and Jazz after the incident at Lake Reverb?
There's a spy within our ranks, and, I think, that it may very well be Falsetto.
What. Say that again. And to my face, please.
I've known her since childhood, so we can tell almost everything about each other.
Well, that's what I thought too.
I was just about to lose my faith in Falsetto.
How could you? You always had my undying faith.
That day, when we returned to the hideout by Lake Reverb, we found Claves wounded and on the floor, unmoving. He fell to his knees beside her and gently brought her into his arms. He did not cry, though I knew he wanted to.
I didn't think he'd say anything, but he gradually told us what happened while we were away at Lento Cemetery. He confessed his suspicions. He turned to me and apologized.
Our eyes met. I could the sorrow storming in his eyes, his heart and soul in disarray. His grief overshadowed and overpowered the guilt he felt towards me. No other words were said.
We knew now who the spy actually was, but that didn't change the fact that he still pined for her.
I didn't know how to react. Should I be happy? Now that she was gone, maybe I'd get my rightful place in his heart. Or maybe I should be sad. In the end, she was still a comrade.
But then outrage coursed through my whole being. The angry beats of my heart drummed in my chest, shaking my tiny frame as I bit my lip hard and clenched my hands into tight fists.
I realized then that I would never win. I would never have his heart. He would only ever look at her. He loved her so much that he would suspect me before her. He would have rather believed that it was me, his childhood friend, the one who has shared many more laughs and tears and adventures with him. My place in his heart never had and never will measure up to hers.
And now I will never be able to reach her. She is infinitely far, and I, remain infinitely small in his heart.
It's been a year since the last battle. Andantino disbanded and everyone returned to the surface, where they belong. That was also the last I saw of him. I swept past him, uttering not a word. He didn't take the liberty of bidding me a farewell either. Some childhood friend he turned out to be.
Even though it was the last I saw of him, it wasn't the last I heard. The others had tuned themselves into our problem and have tried to encourage me to reconcile with him. Even Viola has stepped up and told me how much he missed the days when Andantino was still around. Note that he said he missed those days, not me.
I couldn't believe how naïve I was. I thought that he would always be there for me, no matter what. I had always believed in every word he said. When he said that we'd be alright even without our parents, I believed him. When he said that we'd find food even though we hadn't eaten for almost a whole week, I believed him. I trusted him with all my heart, with every fiber of my soul. And he did not.
Whenever they tried, I brushed them away and gave them a curt answer. We'll see.
Three years later and at 26, I finally feel like I matured a bit more. I tried growing out my hair again. I knew Jazz liked long hair, so I grew out my stardust colored hair.
The day he chose Claves, I grabbed my hair, took a dagger and with swiftly ran it through my hair. Hot tears streamed down my cheeks as my hair, once shining like the stars, slipped from my hand dull and cold.
But I won't let that get to me anymore.
I turned my head up towards the sky. The sun peaked through the gaps in the canopy. A breeze shook the leaves and my hair tickled my shoulders. I smiled and ran my fingers through my choppy layers. Agogo Forest sure felt nice to walk through.
I sighed as I stopped to pluck a lone white flower. Four years later, I'm going to see him again.
We're all gathering, to celebrate Allegretto and Polka's engagement. Of course, we all saw it coming. We just had to wait till they were of age. I wish for them all of the happiness that I have yet to find.
I tucked the flower behind my ear and continued on.
Falsetto. It's been a while. In that vast field of flowers, he came up to me after four long years.
I put on a soft smile. Yes…It has hasn't it? Have you been well?
Y-Yeah. I've been here and there, helping rebuild cities and towns after the fall of Count Waltz.
That is so like you. His dark blue hair was cut short and left messy. It was a fresh look.
He looked down, then away, then slowly back to me. I'm sorry Falsetto.
I decided to humor him for now. I tilted my head a little. What for?
Four years ago, I left without a word. Even though I promised to always be there for you. But. It's not as if I stopped caring. Whenever I could, I would ask the others how you were doing. He stared down at his feet, as if he were embarrassed.
I sighed. He looked back up at me, anticipating an answer. And it wasn't that I didn't want to give him one. I knew just how hard it is to get him to confess his deepest feelings.
But I don't understand. Why does he look at me only after I am gone?
I licked my lips and spoke. You know, it's okay by now. I get it. I really do. Thank you for watching over me all this time.
He took a step closer. Then, will you come back to my side? His deep chocolate eyes stared straight into my sharp green ones. He lifted his hand and brushed my bangs, trailing down to my cheek. His thumb stroked my skin gently.
Now that was new. I never expected that. Dare I say, a slight blush crept onto my cheeks. It was bittersweet. Why couldn't I have felt this warmth right from the start?
I shied away and took a step back. I can't. Not yet. Not now. Tell me. Did you always believe in me?
He kept his cool, but I could tell in his eyes he was startled. His answer was as soft as the breeze. I can't lie to you.
I know. Oh how I knew so well. I shot him the best smile I could muster. It's fine! As for my real answer, you might have to wait on it.
It was left unspoken, but my eyes reflected my inability to accept him. And he could tell. And I knew it hurt him.
I understand Falsetto.
I poked his cheek and smiled again at him. Don't get down now. We still have a party to get to! I leaned in and gave him a kiss as light as a feather. See you. Before he could say another word, I dashed off, leaving petals to scatter in my wake.
Jazz, you were not the only one betrayed, so was I. So was I.
I turned to look back at the flower field, where you stood.
I loved you.
I can forgive. But I can't forget.
Goodbye, Jazz
A/N: Once I reached that point in the story again, I felt this enormous compassion for Falsetto. I always wished that Jazz would look her way, but I just couldn't see it happening after that. Review if you feel compelled to! (: