Hello my peoples. It is I, Emperor of all of Dakari, the Supreme Lord Cerventes. A day of ago I heard my brother and friend talking about worst ideas for stories ever but I though "hey thats not bad it is good" and I turned it into fanfiction! Kazza! Here is the result, flames will result in interdict.
Warhammer: The 13th Faction
In a plaec called Zanarkand, was where some people lived. One of the people is Tidus, a bliztballer who is about to make a touchdown score for the team. 3-2-1
"What the hell?
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Squall Lionhered was a student for an academy. He was on to class when flash
Huh?"
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Black Mage from Final Fantasy one was about to use a powerful spell in the game, hadodoken. He casted the spell, but a surprise!
"fighterdoken?"
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In a hill above battles, General Cloud Strife and Vice General Auron was giving a speech to confsued people who did not know what was going on. But hey, they were all from final fantasy, so what a crowd!
"Okay you might be wondering what you are doing here but heres the deal" Strife square dealed. "Weare now a new race for Warhammer 40k, so we are about to have a battle against the Orks. It will not be easy but orks are the worst race in the galaxy, so we have a good shot"
"A question when does the battle begin?" Rikku legitametly quandered.
"4-3-2-NOW!" Clous bangshot and the army got into place!
The cactars ran ahead because there we so many and they can regenerate and are like conscriptors in the Imperial Guard. Black Mage Vivi and Lulu stood back and casted things like blizzara firara and wateraga, washing away orks and breaking down their war machines. And what about Cloud Strife?
In a part of the battlefield Auron and Cloud were faced with 4500 orks by themselves! "It is time to surrender" stupified the ork sergent in proper orc. But all Cloud and Auron did was smile and high-jump in the air. Auron casted confusion and some orks started to attack themselves. Cloud dodged ork bullets like in Advent children and pizzowned about 12 orks in rows. Then Auron and Cloud started casting spells left and right while killing with ungodliness. It wasnt bloody, but in the end Auron and Cloud came on top of the piles. Not the orks.
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Ten minutes from battle, Tidus and Yuna were in a pond and there was a moment of quiet. There had been some love for a long time, but the two had been embarased to explain the feelings. Except now.
"Yuna, you know my love but it is too much to handle. War and love and sex... WHAT IS THE IDEAL OF A MAN! A TRUMAN, IN THE TIMES OF HARD AND KILL, A TIMES OF FOLLY? OH DARLING, AM I A MAN OR NOT TO BE?" Tidus shakespere quoted before crying in the arms of his girlfirend.
"Tidus, it is not to be fret. There will always be a man inside, you just must find in your heart" the songstrees refirmed in song.
"But Yuna, how am I to know if I am truly man?" Tidus pipedreamed but was interupted by a very sultry songstress.
"If you werent a man how would we..." Yuna began as hormones turned into full blown passion. Even though they were in water, Yuna and Tidus sexed with bombs exploding around and guns spells and steel clashing. It wasn't a matter, because Tidus and Yuna were together. But General Cloud Strife was not tickled in his funny bones.
"Lady Yuna, report to the summoner flank immediately. Tidus, come with me this instance and fight in the front lines for your sinnings" the General bitchsnapped.
"FUCK YOU CLOUD STRIFE" Tidus smarted off to a commander out of place. "What are we fighting for? Why are we even fighting at all? This was is pointless, youre worse than George Bush and HITLER!"
"Thats enough" Cloud duel challenged Tidus and accepted. Tidus sidestepped cloud and dodged. Cloud backhanded and stabbed but Tidus parryed at the last second. Tidus jumped and swung but Cloud was too quick and powerful and threw Tidus back with his might and jumped to attack. Tidus backfilled and blocked while sidestepping and slicing some of clouds hair off. Unfortunately, Tidus was too slow and didnt notice that it was only Clouds susbstitution jitsu. Too late. Two stabs.
"Auchkkkrrgrgr" Tidus choked and was dragged by Cloud to the front.
"Bitch."
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In the frontlines a monsterous battle was taking place against orks. A good thing orks are bad at close combat. Luneth Firion and Sora were dead locked with sword fighting, but they had killed so many orks that it was amamu. Suqall was too badass to fight close comabt so he used his gunblade to shoot off ork heads. Tidus still was qualmed about the war, but the battle had changed his brain and was turning himself into a killing machine. It is what happenes in war, and people change never to return. Even Tidus.
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THe summoners were busy summoning things to fight the orks, but they really needed air support because there are many orks in a battle. During this time Yuna and her dad who was also a summoner if you remember from the game were having a conversation.
"Father, I'm not so sure about war" Yuna second guessed
"Yuna, I have given my life to save Spira and I will GIVE MY LIFE AGAIN FOR LOVE!" her dad Braska gave last words as he completed the final summoning, killing himself but wiping out a shitload of orks in the proces.
"FATHERRRRR" Yuna alterted the orks of their position but it was too late. Too dead.
"YUNA!" Tidus snapped back into life as he remembered that he was in love and rushed to save his girlfriend. Cloud strife was not very keen on the idea though.
"Tidus, you must stay on the front lines and die for your country" Cloud commandmented but Tidus had other plans.
"I will chose what to die for Strife, and I die for love!" Tidus escaped with ninja magic levaing a smiling knowing Cloud Strife fighting orks.
"Smells like teen spirit" was Clouds last words as he piked an ork in the stomach.
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Squall was continuing the gun assault, but there were problems unseen. Squall came face to face with his brother, who was a chaos demon named Laguna. laguna had fought against Genera.l Cerventes in the Winter War, so he was a skilled veteran and he knew some Tnzeech and Slanneish powers that would cripple a normal man. but squall was no normal.
"brother i know you, bbut this time only one will walk away." Squall ultimatumed.
"I understand lets dance bloodbrother." the demon said as his arms turned to blood whips like seen in Terminator Robots that my friend has in his chaos army. Squal knew that the battle would be a Warhammer War...
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It was going bad with the summoners because the orks had broken through and were attacking! Tidus arrived in time to monster kill an ork that was a threat to Yuna.
"Tidus, you returned, I knew there was love!" Yuna amorously adventured but Tidus was serious.
"Yuna, sometimes for love there must be war. I must protect people I love even you. Even." Tidus monologged and devlivered with passion. He starated massacering orks left and right, to protect Yuna and all of the other summoners. But there was a problem. The ork seregnet was fighting the zanarkandian, and he had tricks up his sleeve.
"It is toime to use SECRET ORK TRANSFORMATION JITSU!" the ork commander versed as he transformed into Sepheroth.
The battle was many ways like in advent children, the best movie ever made agreed by critics. Except Tidus was having trouble keeping up with Sepheroth because he did not have as many skills as Cloud Strife. This cost him in the battle, a battle that did not accept gil or warhammer dollars. It cost him the blood.
"Harangue!" Tidus coughed up many of his blood count. He only had 10 of chokra left in reserve, so he did something that you would only do if you were in a situation. Death situation.
"SEVEN SANDS OF THE PSALMS OF SOLOMON SECRET STRIKE SNAKE EYE SACRED SIGN SHADOW SUN SUMMONING ART JITSU!" Tidus handsinged as he took one last love at Yuna before he merged with his water sword and wraped Seperhoth with light and blades.
"NOT THE END" Sephertho tired to use tricks up his sleeve but his sleeve was dethached like his body. Septhroth was dead. And Tidus.
And Yuna on the insider.
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above the skies, Admiral Cid had finally arrived with airshep fleets but it was far too late in the battle by the time. General Cloud Strife left Auron to ground command and used his flash step jutis to have a meeting with the Admiral on the Dreadnought.
"General Strife, with the situation I believe that there is only one option left for victory" the Admiral unidoctrined as Strife head dropped in shame.
"Noooo you must not make the mistakes by Eisenhhorner and friends like Japann! Dotn use the nikes and H-bombs! "Tifa pleaded to her general who is like a boyfriend in Final Fantasy VI but not exactly but maybe in later?
"No," Yuna coldsnapped in relevation. "Sometimes, to save love and life there must be sacarifice, this is what father and Tidus taught." Yuna icily brought upon law. General Cloud understood the messages, and gave the access codes (or codexes to all that are keen) to Admiral Cid.
3.
2.
1.
"Endgame" General Strife lastlooked at the battlefield as the flashes flashed.
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Bombs drop
Clocks stop
Emotions drop
When we reach the tops
But time stands still
For you, for me, for him
The Years escape
Like paaper
In the wind
Blowing, knowing, flowing, the river...
Seasons come
The nights past
Finding you
Everwhere, in a crowd, loud, proud
We see
We see
We see the nights
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But what about necrons?
Ok guys you might be confused by the last line but its actually setup for a sequel which hey just might happen! But just so its known by ewveryone, Certventes is back, in style. Until nest time my legals, stay loyal to the cause and keep the R/R.