Des heard what sounded like a scream coming form around the corner. He
picked up his pace, 'Not Sheelagh, please god not Sheelagh' he thought. As
he rounded the corner the site that was in front of him made him feel sick
to the stomach. Blood, lots of blood. Thoughts kept running through Des'
mind as he ran over to Sheelaghs blooded and lifeless body.
"Sheelagh" Des shouted as he ran up to Sheelaghs body.
He felt for a pulse, but he couldn't find one. The panic began to build in Des, he couldn't loose Sheelagh, that would break him in two.
"Ambulance required, Courtly Avenue"
Des began CPR but nothing was happening, Sheelaghs body was still lifeless. Des began to beg Sheelagh to fight, to come back to him. Sheelagh came to for a brief second. She looked Des in the eye, all her emotions showing clearly in her eyes. The love and pain was mirrored in Des' eyes.
"Des I..." Sheelagh began, as she slipped out of this world.
As Des realised this, he gathered her body into his arms and he'd her tight. Tough man Des let the tears fall freely down his face while he started to spill his heart out.
And theres a wall of tears, I'v got to get over
Got to stop thinking of her, got to learn not to love her
I know the sun will shine
Im gonna be fine but until then
The rains gonna fall, just like a wall of tears.
That is how the ambulance and Inspector Gold found him. The ambulance men took Sheelagh from Des' arms.
"PC Taviner, Des" Des looked up at the inspector, his face white as a sheet and all his pain, love and loss written on his face.
"You should go home Des, get a wash and go to bed" the inspector told Des.
"But I...." Des began.
"There's nothing you can do Des, She's gone" The inspector told Des.
"I should have got to her sooner, I shouldn't of let this happen to her" Des spoke quietly through his tears.
"There was nothing you could of done, you can't protect her from everything Des. Now go home and get some rest you are going to need your strength over the next few days." Gina said.
With that Gina left Des in the capable hands of PC Best. Des sat in the car, while Gary spoke to the inspector. Des just kept playing the days events over and over in his head, he kept thinking how he could of done something and Sheelagh would of still been here.
Looking out my window, staring through the pain
I cant see the rainbow for the rain
Someday Ill forget you, life goes on they say
But they don't know what's standing in my way
And there's a wall of tears, I've got to get over
Got to stop thinking of her, got to learn not to love her
I know the sun will shine
I'm gonna be fine but until then
The rains gonna fall, just like a wall of tears.
Des listened to the words of the song and silent tears fell.
"Sheelagh" Des whispered to the car, "Sheelagh I love you"
The car journey to Des' was quiet and Des looked like he was not going to speak for a while to come.
Once inside Des went straight to his bed and curled up, cried and fell into a restless sleep full of Sheelagh.
Des walked into work the next day, unshaven and looking like he had not slept for a week. Reg and Tony noticed the state Des was in; they approached the scouser who was sat quietly in the briefing room.
"Des, what happened to you?" Reg began to ask Des as the inspector and the rest of the relief walked in.
Once everyone was settled, the inspector began.
"Last night, as most of you know Sergeant Sheelagh Murphy was murdered" Gina looked over at Des as she spoke, Gina could see that Des was not fit to be on duty.
The relief were all shaken by what the inspector said, no more so than Des, as it finally hit him; Sheelagh was gone and she was not coming back. Reg looked over at his mate with sadness in his eyes, Reg new that Des was close to Sergeant Murphy bur never realised until now how strongly the man felt about this woman.
Des tuned out, he did not want to relive the past nights events; the anger inside Des began to build; he needed to calm down so he got up and walked out the briefing room.
"...the attacker is still..." Gina paused, while watching Des leave the room; she decided to go after Des once the briefing was over. She figured he could use some time to get his feeling under control.
Gina found Des in the male locker room. Gina approached Des with caution as she was unsure about how he was feeling, she did not know what he would do in the state he was in. Des looked at Gina; with red puffy eyes from the many tears that had been shed and his cheeks were pale with tear stains.
"I should have gotten there faster....I...I should have stopped him, she shouldn't be dead. It's my fault she's dead, if I hadn't of asked her to come she...." Des began rambling.
"It's not your fault Des, it was her choice to meet you there, she could have said no. You did the best you could Des, that's all Sheelagh would have asked of you, you shouldn't be so hard on yourself." Gina told Des.
"How I am supposed to live with out her, she was what I lived for. I don't know how to put it into words how I felt about Sheelagh, but I know that I would of done anything for her, what ever she asked of me I would do it. She showed me what life is and how to feel." Silent tears fell as Des told Gina his feelings.
Des woke up, all hot and sweaty after a night of restless sleep. Des was disoriented and unsure, he wasn't completely sure whether what he remember about last night was true or it was just a dream. He glanced at the clock on his bedside cabinet, 4:30am it read. Des decided to get up and have a strong cup of coffee to help him contemplate what he was to do next. The time seemed to drag on it seemed like he had been sitting at the table for hours instead of 20 minutes.
"Sheelagh, please let it be a dream" Des whispered to the empty room.
Des for once in his life felt something he had never felt before, it was such a strong feeling that it had the power to over power him, but Des could not figure out what it was.
Des decided to leave for work earlier than normal, as he needed to find out whether the events had happened and he needed to see Sheelagh. Des prayed to god that it was not true as he did not want to live his life without Sheelagh. He felt that if he didn't have Sheelagh in his life then he wouldn't have anything to live for, this feeling really scared Des. He had never in his life felt this strongly about anybody especially not a woman, Des had many woman in his past but this woman was different and Des could not work out why, this really annoyed Des as he couldn't work it out.
Once he had arrived at work, Des sat in his car waiting to see Sheelagh arrive at work. Sheelagh hadn't arrived by the start of the shift and this made Des worry that the events he remembered had been true.
Inspector Gold was walking towards Des, so Des decided to ask the inspector where Sergeant Murphy was.
"Err...Ma'am" Des began.
"Yes, Pc Taviner?" the inspector asked.
"Do you know where Sergeant Murphy is?" Des asked hoping she wouldn't ask to many questions about why he was asking.
"She has today off, back tomorrow. Why do you need something? If it is important I can deal with it or Sergeant Smith." The Inspector told Des.
"It's nothing important ma'am, it can wait until tomorrow" with that Des walked off in search of his partner, Reg. Satisfied that the events had not happened and that Sheelagh was still alive.
The shift seemed to pass slowly for Des, all Des wanted to do was go home and wait for tomorrow to come.
Once the shift was over Des made a quick get away, once home Des decided to find the words to tell Sheelagh Murphy how he felt. Des decided after a couple of beers that a letter would be the best way to do this. So Des searched for a p en and some paper; once these had been found he sat down on the couch and poured his heart out to the blonde Irish lady who had indeed taken his heart.
Dear Sheelagh,
I know that what I am about to write may come as a shock for you, but I can not keep my feelings for you hidden any longer. Last night I had the most disturbing dream, where I lost you from my life because I was not quick enough to get to you before he had his way with you. This made me think about how I would cope if you were not in my life and this scares me as I have never needed anyone in my life, like I need you in my life. You give me something, something different, something which I haven't had before. You also make me feel things which I have never felt before, you make me feel, and you show me how to feel.
I'm not the sort of person who falls
In and quickly out of love
But to you I gave my affection
Right from the start.
When you are around my heart beats faster and I feel warm but once you are gone my body feels empty and cold. You are my warmth, my heart, my everything and I need to feel you beside me for as long as I live. I want to wake up with you beside me, to hold you in my arms and to show you how much I care.
I'm tired of waking up with the worries of the world
Like a blanket thrown across me, Still it doesn't stop the cold
From creeping in and under, just to tease me as I sleep.
Oh, I need to feel warm, I need to have some peace
I have never felt a feeling like this before, the feeling of love. Love, I never knew it was possible for me to love anyone, but now I know it is possible to love someone so much that it hurts inside. When I see you with Patrick my heart breaks in two, I know I shouldn't be jealous of him as he is your husband but I can't help these feelings. They become so strong sometimes that they have the power to take over my being. Why did I fall for such a lady? I know that what I feel is wrong, but my heart says that what I feel is right. I know that you will never feel the way I do but I pray everyday that you do feel hoe I am feeling.
I thought that love was hiding
in the stars above
My heart was ice from trying
To find it in the dark
Now I'm here
To take a load off your feet
I'm here
To learn a lesson in how to love
I want to show you how I feel but I don't know how to show it, I find it difficult to show my feelings usually but with you it is easy to show how I feel. Oh how I would love for you to help me show you how I feel, could you help me show you how I feel?
All my Love Des
The next morning Des felt like he had been hit over the head with a baseball bat; he looked around the room and muttered, "Christ, drank far too much". He prised himself off the couch to go and get a large, strong black coffee to clear his head.
Empty beer cans lay on the floor and table; Des had gone through a whole 12 pack over the course of the night. He began cleaning the room slowly and came across the letter which he had wrote the night before; Des being a hard man did not wish to show Sheelagh the letter as he did not like showing feelings. The letter was placed on the kitchen table as he wanted time to figure out exactly what he was going to do with it. Des left for work in a better mood than the day before; this due to the fact that he had sorted out his feelings for his Irish sergeant and new that she was still with him.
Reg noticed a large change in his friend's behaviour; to him Des seemed to be more calm today, less built up than usual, it seemed like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Reg was correct, as Des did feel like a huge weight had been lifted and because of this, he was in the frame of mind to show his serge how he felt. With this thought, he went of to search for his serge.
Sheelagh was sat in her office contemplating the past few days' events. The events had made Sheelagh realise that she was indeed attracted to Des, this fact made Sheelagh feel uneasy as she should not be having these feelings towards another. The silence of the room made her feel unnerved as there was nothing to distract her from her thoughts, about the scouse PC who had rescued her only a few days before.
Outside the door Des was contemplating whether or not to go into the office; there was apart of him that said 'yes go in and tell her' and then there was apart of him which was scared of telling her. He was scared that she would tell him that she felt the same way but she couldn't be with him or she would say, she didn't feel anything beyond friendship for him. His hand gripped the door handle ready to open the door, when Reg appeared from around the corner.
"There you are....I've been looking all over for you!" Reg sounded a bit worried. Which Des picked up on.
"I was just looking for the serge, needed to speak to her." Des told Reg.
"Well we got a shout, you'll have to speak to her later" Reg said.
By the end of the shift Des still hadn't managed to speak to Sheelagh, but by now his bottle had gone. Something on the wall caught Des' eye, it was a poster talking about the karaoke competition night that was on in a couple of days. This gave him an idea; he would tell her his feelings in a song as he had a good voice. He just hoped that Sheelagh was going, so he signed up. Now all he had to do was choose a song.
The day of the karaoke competition had arrived and Des spent the whole shift trying to build up the courage to do the performance as Reg kept taking the Michael out of him. Every time Reg did this he began to feel even more nervous.
The day was uneventful and Des was glad when the shift was over; over the shift he had managed to build up the enough courage to go on stage. He was ready to try and show the woman he loved a part of how he was feeling. He was still unsure about whether he was doing the right thing and if he was showing her is feelings. Des just hoped he was indeed showing her a part of himself.
"Next up we have Desmond, who will be singing completely live with his guitar. Hope his singing is better than his driving." Gina introduced Des, which got a few laughs from his colleagues.
Des took up his position on the stool, with the guitar at ready. It took Des a few seconds to build up the courage to start, but once he did he felt all his nerves vanish.
If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you were not mine would I have the strength to stand at all
I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
I don't want to runaway but I can't take t
I don't understand if I'm not made for you,
Then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
The room had gone completely silent as they could not believe that this was the same Des Taviner that was part of their team. When they had read Des' name on the list they thought he would do something more macho like a Robbie Williams hit, but instead he had chosen to do a ballad, which was dedicated to someone special.
Des found Sheelagh in the crowd and couldn't tear his eyes away from her, as she was looking stunning and he wanted her to know that this song was for her.
Sheelagh had noticed that he was looking directly at her, and she also couldn't tear her eyes away from him. She felt like he looking straight in her soul and new that she felt the same way as he felt, but would never admit to him.
If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?
I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I'm praying you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life
I don't want to runaway but I can't take t
I don't understand if I'm not made for you,
Then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
Silent tears began to fall down Sheelaghs cheeks which she wiped away quickly as she didn't want anyone to see.
'Cause I miss you, body and soul
So strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart
And pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side
I don't want to runaway but I can't take t
I don't understand if I'm not made for you,
Then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
The whole room was completely silent; Des didn't notice this as he was so enwrapped in Sheelagh. Des was brought out of his trance when the room erupted into applause. He didn't want to wait around; so he got up and walked of the stage quickly. Des needed some air, so he went outside to catch his breath. Outside, Des sat on the only bench which was facing away from the main entrance.
Sheelagh wanted to clear her head and try to piece together the things she had witnessed tonight; Des hadn't taken his eyes off her all the way through his performance which scared Sheelagh. She new he fancied her, maybe even had feelings for her but she hadn't realised exactly how strong those feeling were until tonight. Sheelagh noticed Des sat on a bench facing away from her; she took this opportunity to watch him, letting her thoughts run wild. She approached him slowly as she didn't want him to know she was there.
"Des" she said.
Des gave a start; he hadn't expected anyone to come outside, let alone Sheelagh. He turned to face her; his face had brightened up and his mood had improved once he had heard her voice.
"Sheelagh, what are you doing out her?" he asked.
"I could ask you the same question?" Sheelagh replied, as she sat down next to Des.
"Needed some air and clear me head" he said, he didn't want to turn to Sheelagh as he knew that if he looked into her crystal eyes he would simply drown.
"Yeah, me too. Needed to get some things straightened out in my head" she told him.
The silence between them began to unnerve Des.
"So....what did you think of my performance?" he asked.
"Very good, I didn't know you could play the guitar let alone sing" she replied.
And the air was filled with silence once again. This time it was Sheelagh who was unnerved, so she thought it was time to come clean; but before she had the chance Des began to speak.
"Err...I was wondering..."Des began
"Yes, Des" Sheelagh replied; turning to face him, with anticipation.
Des turned to face Sheelagh; he was looking into the blondes, blue eyes which he quickly drowned in. Des finally picked up the courage to ask her, what he wanted to ask her for awhile.
"Would you like to come back to mine? That's if you want to," he replied, with his new found confidence.
"Yes, I would like that" Sheelagh replied, lost in Des' eyes.
Once they had arrived at Des' flat the nerves began to build in both Des and Sheelagh as they were both unsure about what was going to happen. Sheelagh was having second thoughts about agreeing to come; her head told her not to go in and to think about her husband but her heart told her it was the right thing to do. Sheelagh decided to listen to her heart and enter Des' flat and face up to what was going to happen. Des on the other hand, could not believe that Sheelagh had agreed to come back to his. When he asked her to come, he thought she would decline his offer but here she was in his flat.
"Would you like a drink?" Des asked walking towards the kitchen.
"A cuppa would be good thanks" Sheelagh replied following him.
Des started to make the tea when he realised he had no milk, so he told Sheelagh that he would be back as quickly as possible and left her in the flat on her own. Des was in such a rush to leave the flat that he forgot about the letter that was still sat on the kitchen table. Sheelagh trying to process the events that had just happened when she noticed the letter sat on the table. She thought nothing of it until she sat down at the table and she read her name at the top of the page, this fact made Sheelagh curious. Sheelagh picked up the letter and began to read.
While Sheelagh was reading the letter Des was trying to get to the shops and back as quickly as possible. Des took this time to think about what he wanted to happen tonight; all Des wanted from tonight was to admit his feelings for Sheelagh and to also find out whether she felt the same way that he did. He was unsure; he thought that she felt the some way but now he was thinking maybe she didn't. He was not thinking straight by this point as so many things were running through his head.
"Sheelagh" Des shouted but there was no reply.
As he did not hear a reply Des began to panic; he picked up his pace as he walked towards the kitchen where he had left her. The sight that was in front of him once he reached the kitchen made Des stop dead in his tracks. Sheelagh was sat at the table with the letter in front of her; Des had no idea what to say so he made his way to the kitchen table to remove the letter from sight.; Sheelagh anticipated this and moved it out of the way before Des could get to it. Des just stood there staring at Sheelagh for a moment until he decided to move and sit opposite Sheelagh; part of him wanted to run in the opposite direction but the stronger part of him wanted to stay and try to convey his feelings for her. Sheelagh noticed that he hesitated when he moved to sit opposite her; these events had begun to show her a different side to this man.
"Sheelagh, look what I put....." Des began.
"Yes, I will help you," Sheelagh said before he could finish.
"What......what did you just say?" he asked.
Sheelagh moved from her seat to sit next to Des, she took his hand in hers.
"I said, I will help you show me how you feel," she replied.
With her reply, she leaned forward and kissed Des gently. He froze, he didn't know what to do or say. Never in his wildest dream had he imagined her kissing him, it was always him kissing her. She noticed that he had froze and she began to worry that she had done the wrong thing.
"Des....." she began.
He silenced her with a kiss; the kiss started out as a gentle kiss but it soon became passionate. When they broke apart were both breathless; they looked deep into each others eyes and they both could see what each other felt. They both knew what was going to happen so Des got up and held his hand out for Sheelagh, which she happily took. Des began to lead her to the bedroom; Sheelagh knew where he was going and she gave no resistance.
Des woke up the next morning feeling like the world had a new meaning and Des felt the happiest he had ever been. He had the woman he loved asleep in his arms, what more could he want. He looked down at her; she was smiling in her sleep and she had a look of pure peace, this made him smile. 'I just want to stay here for ever and I am the luckiest man in the universe' he thought to himself. Des suddenly felt a bit guilty, as he saw the wedding ring on her finger, this made Des feel unsure. He gently eased himself out of bed whilst trying not to wake Sheelagh. Des put on a pair of boxers and headed for the living room; before he left the bedroom he took one last look at Sheelagh. He decided to put on some quiet music on as he didn't want to wake Sheelagh and took up place on the couch as he thought about last nights events.
About an hour later Sheelagh walked into the living room dressed in one of Des' t-shirts, she walked over to Des.
"Des" she said, as sat down on the couch next to him.
Des hadn't even heard her come into the room, let alone knew she was there until she spoke to him. He put his arms around her and pulled her in close, as he needed her close to him. Sheelagh could tell that something was wrong with Des, but she thought she would wait and see if he brought it up himself. But she couldn't take it any longer so she spoke.
"You alright Des?" she asked him.
"Yeah I'm fine" he replied.
He kissed her forehead and watched her out of the corner of his eye, as he was not ready to tell her about his insecurities. When he kissed her, she felt slightly at ease and thought she would let it go for the time being as she knew he didn't want to talk just yet. So she snuggled closer to him and listened to the soft music in the background and thought bout last night's events.
"Do you wanna a cuppa?" Des asked.
Sheelagh looked at him, trying to read his thoughts, but she couldn't read what he was thinking.
"Yeah, that would be lovely, thanks" she replied.
Des began to get off the couch, but stopped, 'tell her, honesty is the best policy' a voice inside Des told him. He settled back down on the couch.
Sheelagh sat and watched him go through this conflict, she began to worry that maybe he was having second thoughts about last night.
"Des, talk to me, please" she said.
"I........I don't know, I mean......" he whispered.
Sheelagh touched his cheek gently and he turned his head towards her, so that she could look at his face. As he turned to face her he looked deep into her eyes; hew could see the confusion, worry and love in her eyes. She looked back deep into his eyes and saw the love and the insecurity in his eyes.
"Do you regret last night?" she asked.
"No, of course not. Last night was the best night of my life, it was amazing." He replied.
"Well, what's wrong then?" she asked.
"I don't know....I feel guilty in a way......I feel like I shouldn't have these feelings, I should keep them locked up and not tell you, that it was wrong to tell you, I mean you are mar....." he rambled.
Sheelagh cut him off by kissing him thoroughly.
"What you do that for?" he asked.
"You were rambling and I feel the same, but I can't keep my feelings inside after last night. It would be wrong to do so." She replied.
"What about Patrick?" Des asked.
"What about him Des? This won't affect my relationship with him just yet...I can't just walk out and leave him. It's going to take time for me to figure out what to do but I don't care how long it takes as long as you are there." She answered.
"I'll be right by your side for as long as you want me to be. I love you Sheelagh" he said lovingly.
"I love you to" she replied.
He kissed her and the kiss started to become more passionate but Sheelagh pulled away.
"We've got to get ready for work, we cant both turn up late now can we." She told him.
"Suppose not" he replied, kissing her again.
Des got up and went to make some breakfast while Sheelagh got ready. She walked into the kitchen to find some toast and tea on the table; she sat down and waited for Des to return from getting ready. They both sat down and ate their breakfast quickly and went off to face the day together.
Des pulled up, around the corner from the station.
"You gonna be alright?" he asked Sheelagh.
"Des...I only have to walk around the corner, I think I will be ok with that!" she replied happily.
"That's not what I meant, and you know it" he said seriously.
"Yeah I know it'll be fine don't worry" she said.
She leaned over and kissed him quickly, before she got out of the car and started to walk into work the happiest she had been in a long time.
Des pulled up just in time to see Sheelagh walking in to the station, 'she looks even more beautiful today' he thought to himself.
He was getting ready for work still high from last night, when Tony, Reg and Garry walked in.
"Where you get to last night?" Tony asked him.
"Went home...had an early night" he replied.
"Oh aye, was she good then?" Garry asked.
"Bet she was! Have you seen the bags under his eyes?!" Tony said.
"Come on Des, tell us who she was?" Reg added.
"Look there was no one, alright." He told them trying to conceal his smile.
Smithy walked into the locker room and caught the end of the conversation.
"Where you get to last night Des?" Smithy asked.
"I...." he began before Garry cut him off.
"He got lucky....but he isn't saying anything" Garry added.
"Was she any good?" Smithy asked.
"Alright, alright! She was bloody fantastic, had me up all night and by god was she good!" Des told them.
"Told you he got lucky last night. So who was she Des? Come on don't keep us in suspense!" Reg said.
"Yeah who was she?" Garry added.
"Like I am going to tell you lot who she was" he told them, with that he walked out of the locker room and headed for the briefing room.
"Alright lads who left early last night?" Smithy asked.
"Sergeant Murphy" Reg said.
"Two blondes sat the bar disappeared round about the same time as Des" Garry said.
"Debbie left round about that time as well" Tony added.
"It definitely would not have been Sheelagh and I don't think it would have been Debbie. Now those two blondes are definitely a possibility, definitely Des' type of thing!" Smithy said.
"Today is gonna be a good one!" Garry added and they headed off to the briefing room.
Sheelagh was sorting out some files, when she felt two strong arms encircle her waist.
"You smell gorgeous" Des told her.
She turned in his arms to face him.
"Des...what am I going to do with you?" she replied.
"I can think of a few things!" he replied with a wink.
"Go on with ya before I do something I regret!" she said with a laugh.
"You wouldn't" he replied kissing her.
"Now go before the inspector sees" she told him.
"Alright I'm going on one condition" he said.
"What would that be then?" she asked.
"I can see you tonight" he replied.
"I cant promise, but I will try" she answered honestly.
"I'm off, see you in a mo" he left kissing her one more time.
Sheelagh stood there watching him leave; she was so amazed with herself for the fact that she had put herself first for once in her life. She felt excited by the fact she didn't know where this was heading.
The day had been very uneventful so far for Des and Reg, they had spent most of the shift sat waiting for a call to come through. Des couldn't get Sheelagh out of his mind; last nights events kept running through his mind, he still couldn't believe what had happened.
Reg found Des' silent, happy mood really odd as usually when Des scores, he can't stop bragging about her. But today was different as he had not told Reg anything about her. So Reg being the nosy parker that he is thought he would quiz Des about his mysterious lady.
"Was she blonde?" Reg asked.
"For crying out loud, can't you just leave it" Des said, getting more annoyed.
"My god, you feelin alright Des?! I mean it's not like you to keep quiet about your latest conquest" Reg said.
"She aint my latest conquest!" he snapped back.
At that moment a car drove past at top speed and Des began to give chase.
"Sierra one to Sierra oscar" Reg said.
"Go a head Sierra one" came the reply.
Des slammed on the brakes as the car they were chasing had come to an abrupt holt and the three offenders had scampered on foot. Des and Reg began the chase.
"Chasing three ic1 males down south bank road" Reg replied as he began to chase after the lads.
A call was put out to all available that urgent assistance was needed down south bank road.
Sergeant Murphy and PC Young answered the call and headed for south bank Road.
Meanwhile the 3 lads had come to a dead end; Des and Reg thought they had them cornered when one of the lads pulled out a gun. Des and Reg began to move backwards.
"Just calm down mate" Des said.
"Back off or I will shoot" one lad said.
"Look mate there's no need for this" Reg said.
"You better shut up otherwise he will do it" one lad said.
They then heard the other car coming towards the road. The made the lads more anxious and nervous....the lad began to shake and he pulled back on the trigger with out thinking. There was a loud bang that rang through the air.
"Shit" Des said as he fell to the floor.
Reg went for one of the lads as the other two ran back down the road only to be stopped by Sergeant Murphy and PC Young.
Sheelagh and Kerry came to where Reg and the other lad was; Sheelagh noticed that Reg was attending to an injured party and went over to check who it was. She was not prepared for what she saw, Des with blood following from a womb on his shoulder. Sheelagh began to panic, she could not loose Des now, and not after what has happened that would be too hard to bear. The nurse side of Sheelagh began to kick in and she took over from Reg; with in minutes the ambulance had arrived along with inspector Gold.
The inspector told Sheelagh to go with Des to hospital and keep them informed with what was going on. Sheelagh was glad that the inspector had told her this as she would have forced her way in there otherwise. Sheelagh sat in the ambulance watching the paramedics working on Des, praying for his life.
Des was taken straight to theatre once they arrived at the hospital as they wanted to remove the bullet and repair the damage as quickly as possible.
While Des was in theatre, Sheelagh sat outside waiting for some news. Why had it happened? Why couldn't he let her be happy for once in her life? She had never asked for anything in her life but she thought she would start now. She asked for his life, to let him be hers, to let there souls and hearts become one and to ask that he pull through as she did not want to live with out him. She couldn't believe how strongly she felt about Des, when had it become so strong? She had always thought that the love she had for Patrick was enough to survive on but now she knew that it wasn't, she needed more and with Des she got it. So many questions kept running through her mind. Her thoughts were interrupted by Pc Best.
"Have you heard anything?" Garry inquired.
"No" Sheelagh replied quickly as she didn't want to speak because she knew her voice would break. She didn't even look at Garry, she didn't want him to see the unshed tears in her eyes and the tear stains which covered her cheeks.
"The inspector sent me to relieve you." Gary told her.
Sheelagh told Garry that she was staying at the hospital and to tell the inspector of this fact. Garry was completely surprised by this but decided to leave it alone.
Des was in theatre for another two hours as there were a few complications. Sheelagh was still sat waiting for news when a doctor appeared.
"Sergeant Murphy" the doctor asked.
"Yes" Sheelagh replied.
"Pc Taviner is going to be fine, we managed....." the doctor went on.
Sheelagh switched off once she knew he was going to be fine, she felt happy, glad and excited that she would have Des still in her life.
".....he will have to stay in for a week, just as a precautionary measure" the doctor concluded.
"Can I see him?" she asked, rather anxiously.
"This way, he may be drowsy so don't expect too much" the doctor said.
The doctor showed Sheelagh to one of the side rooms on the ward, she thanked the doctor and stood at the window watching Des. She couldn't bring herself to open the door and see him; she had too many emotions spinning around inside of her. She felt happiness as she still had Des in her life but part of her felt guilty and wrong as she shouldn't be stood here feeling the love and happiness she had for this man. She should be feeling the love for her husband not one of colleagues.
Sheelagh opened the door with shaky hands; Des heard the door open and turned to see who it was....'Sheelagh' Des said to himself. Des' face lit up at the sight of the beautiful blonde that now stood next to him, he held out his head for her which she took as she sat down on the chair next to his bed. They both sat there staring into each others eyes and silently communicating there feelings for each other.
"Des...I.....don't know...I..." Sheelagh wanted to tell how she felt when she thought she had lost him, but she couldn't get the words right.
"Shee what's wrong?" Des asked concerned.
When...today I thought I had lost you.....it made me realise what you mean to me and how I feel deep inside...I said I loved you Des but I lied, what I feel for you is so much more....I don't...I don't think that I could live a day with out...I love you so much" Sheelagh told Des.
She couldn't keep the unshed tears inside any longer; they began to fall down her soft, silk skin.
"Shee please don't cry...especially don't cry because of me....I feel the same way, I love you so much it hurts inside when you are not there with me. I can't stand to spend a moment away from you, you are the other part of my soul, you complete me and make me a better man. I love you too." Des told Sheelagh this as he held her hand tightly.
A week later Des was released from hospital and put in the care of Sheelagh. Over the past week Sheelagh had thought about her relationship with Patrick and have her relationship with Des. She came to the conclusion that she would leave Patrick for Des; this was easier said than done. She just wanted to pack her bags and leave but she couldn't, she needed to talk with the kids about her feelings. After speaking to Des about this, she finally picked up the courage to tell her kids that she loved someone else. The two oldest kids found it easier take in than the youngest. Sheelaghs daughter knew that her mother had been miserable up until Sheelagh started at sun hill but she just thought it was because she was doing a job she loved. None of the kids were happy that she was leaving their father but they wanted their mum to be happy and they could see that she would be happiest with Des.
Sheelagh left Patrick and moved in with Des, this news was all round the station in record time. Nobody in the station could believe that Sheelagh and Des were a couple as they all saw Des as a womaniser. The only person who was not so shocked was Reg, he had picked up on Des' feelings for Sheelagh, well he knew that he fancied her but he would never have guessed that it was more than that let alone love.
Des and Sheelagh had only been together for a few weeks but in that short space of time, Sheelagh had shown Des how to feel and how to show her how strongly he loved her. This made him feel like he had won the jackpot, he could not be any happier than what he was now.
Sheelagh came home from her shift to find Des making dinner and singing along to Michael Bolton. She stood there watching him; she thought to herself that she was the luckiest woman alive. Sheelagh had never felt so alive like she did when she is with him; he had shown her how to live and how to put herself first.
Des turned around to find Sheelagh standing there, and he began to sing the song to her.
Said I loved you but I lied
Coz this more than love I feel inside
Said I loved you but I was wrong
Coz love could never ever feel so strong
Said I loved you but I lied.
Both Des and Sheelagh had learnt something from each other over the weeks; this made them much stronger people. They had started a new life together and hoped that it would last forever.
The End
"Sheelagh" Des shouted as he ran up to Sheelaghs body.
He felt for a pulse, but he couldn't find one. The panic began to build in Des, he couldn't loose Sheelagh, that would break him in two.
"Ambulance required, Courtly Avenue"
Des began CPR but nothing was happening, Sheelaghs body was still lifeless. Des began to beg Sheelagh to fight, to come back to him. Sheelagh came to for a brief second. She looked Des in the eye, all her emotions showing clearly in her eyes. The love and pain was mirrored in Des' eyes.
"Des I..." Sheelagh began, as she slipped out of this world.
As Des realised this, he gathered her body into his arms and he'd her tight. Tough man Des let the tears fall freely down his face while he started to spill his heart out.
And theres a wall of tears, I'v got to get over
Got to stop thinking of her, got to learn not to love her
I know the sun will shine
Im gonna be fine but until then
The rains gonna fall, just like a wall of tears.
That is how the ambulance and Inspector Gold found him. The ambulance men took Sheelagh from Des' arms.
"PC Taviner, Des" Des looked up at the inspector, his face white as a sheet and all his pain, love and loss written on his face.
"You should go home Des, get a wash and go to bed" the inspector told Des.
"But I...." Des began.
"There's nothing you can do Des, She's gone" The inspector told Des.
"I should have got to her sooner, I shouldn't of let this happen to her" Des spoke quietly through his tears.
"There was nothing you could of done, you can't protect her from everything Des. Now go home and get some rest you are going to need your strength over the next few days." Gina said.
With that Gina left Des in the capable hands of PC Best. Des sat in the car, while Gary spoke to the inspector. Des just kept playing the days events over and over in his head, he kept thinking how he could of done something and Sheelagh would of still been here.
Looking out my window, staring through the pain
I cant see the rainbow for the rain
Someday Ill forget you, life goes on they say
But they don't know what's standing in my way
And there's a wall of tears, I've got to get over
Got to stop thinking of her, got to learn not to love her
I know the sun will shine
I'm gonna be fine but until then
The rains gonna fall, just like a wall of tears.
Des listened to the words of the song and silent tears fell.
"Sheelagh" Des whispered to the car, "Sheelagh I love you"
The car journey to Des' was quiet and Des looked like he was not going to speak for a while to come.
Once inside Des went straight to his bed and curled up, cried and fell into a restless sleep full of Sheelagh.
Des walked into work the next day, unshaven and looking like he had not slept for a week. Reg and Tony noticed the state Des was in; they approached the scouser who was sat quietly in the briefing room.
"Des, what happened to you?" Reg began to ask Des as the inspector and the rest of the relief walked in.
Once everyone was settled, the inspector began.
"Last night, as most of you know Sergeant Sheelagh Murphy was murdered" Gina looked over at Des as she spoke, Gina could see that Des was not fit to be on duty.
The relief were all shaken by what the inspector said, no more so than Des, as it finally hit him; Sheelagh was gone and she was not coming back. Reg looked over at his mate with sadness in his eyes, Reg new that Des was close to Sergeant Murphy bur never realised until now how strongly the man felt about this woman.
Des tuned out, he did not want to relive the past nights events; the anger inside Des began to build; he needed to calm down so he got up and walked out the briefing room.
"...the attacker is still..." Gina paused, while watching Des leave the room; she decided to go after Des once the briefing was over. She figured he could use some time to get his feeling under control.
Gina found Des in the male locker room. Gina approached Des with caution as she was unsure about how he was feeling, she did not know what he would do in the state he was in. Des looked at Gina; with red puffy eyes from the many tears that had been shed and his cheeks were pale with tear stains.
"I should have gotten there faster....I...I should have stopped him, she shouldn't be dead. It's my fault she's dead, if I hadn't of asked her to come she...." Des began rambling.
"It's not your fault Des, it was her choice to meet you there, she could have said no. You did the best you could Des, that's all Sheelagh would have asked of you, you shouldn't be so hard on yourself." Gina told Des.
"How I am supposed to live with out her, she was what I lived for. I don't know how to put it into words how I felt about Sheelagh, but I know that I would of done anything for her, what ever she asked of me I would do it. She showed me what life is and how to feel." Silent tears fell as Des told Gina his feelings.
Des woke up, all hot and sweaty after a night of restless sleep. Des was disoriented and unsure, he wasn't completely sure whether what he remember about last night was true or it was just a dream. He glanced at the clock on his bedside cabinet, 4:30am it read. Des decided to get up and have a strong cup of coffee to help him contemplate what he was to do next. The time seemed to drag on it seemed like he had been sitting at the table for hours instead of 20 minutes.
"Sheelagh, please let it be a dream" Des whispered to the empty room.
Des for once in his life felt something he had never felt before, it was such a strong feeling that it had the power to over power him, but Des could not figure out what it was.
Des decided to leave for work earlier than normal, as he needed to find out whether the events had happened and he needed to see Sheelagh. Des prayed to god that it was not true as he did not want to live his life without Sheelagh. He felt that if he didn't have Sheelagh in his life then he wouldn't have anything to live for, this feeling really scared Des. He had never in his life felt this strongly about anybody especially not a woman, Des had many woman in his past but this woman was different and Des could not work out why, this really annoyed Des as he couldn't work it out.
Once he had arrived at work, Des sat in his car waiting to see Sheelagh arrive at work. Sheelagh hadn't arrived by the start of the shift and this made Des worry that the events he remembered had been true.
Inspector Gold was walking towards Des, so Des decided to ask the inspector where Sergeant Murphy was.
"Err...Ma'am" Des began.
"Yes, Pc Taviner?" the inspector asked.
"Do you know where Sergeant Murphy is?" Des asked hoping she wouldn't ask to many questions about why he was asking.
"She has today off, back tomorrow. Why do you need something? If it is important I can deal with it or Sergeant Smith." The Inspector told Des.
"It's nothing important ma'am, it can wait until tomorrow" with that Des walked off in search of his partner, Reg. Satisfied that the events had not happened and that Sheelagh was still alive.
The shift seemed to pass slowly for Des, all Des wanted to do was go home and wait for tomorrow to come.
Once the shift was over Des made a quick get away, once home Des decided to find the words to tell Sheelagh Murphy how he felt. Des decided after a couple of beers that a letter would be the best way to do this. So Des searched for a p en and some paper; once these had been found he sat down on the couch and poured his heart out to the blonde Irish lady who had indeed taken his heart.
Dear Sheelagh,
I know that what I am about to write may come as a shock for you, but I can not keep my feelings for you hidden any longer. Last night I had the most disturbing dream, where I lost you from my life because I was not quick enough to get to you before he had his way with you. This made me think about how I would cope if you were not in my life and this scares me as I have never needed anyone in my life, like I need you in my life. You give me something, something different, something which I haven't had before. You also make me feel things which I have never felt before, you make me feel, and you show me how to feel.
I'm not the sort of person who falls
In and quickly out of love
But to you I gave my affection
Right from the start.
When you are around my heart beats faster and I feel warm but once you are gone my body feels empty and cold. You are my warmth, my heart, my everything and I need to feel you beside me for as long as I live. I want to wake up with you beside me, to hold you in my arms and to show you how much I care.
I'm tired of waking up with the worries of the world
Like a blanket thrown across me, Still it doesn't stop the cold
From creeping in and under, just to tease me as I sleep.
Oh, I need to feel warm, I need to have some peace
I have never felt a feeling like this before, the feeling of love. Love, I never knew it was possible for me to love anyone, but now I know it is possible to love someone so much that it hurts inside. When I see you with Patrick my heart breaks in two, I know I shouldn't be jealous of him as he is your husband but I can't help these feelings. They become so strong sometimes that they have the power to take over my being. Why did I fall for such a lady? I know that what I feel is wrong, but my heart says that what I feel is right. I know that you will never feel the way I do but I pray everyday that you do feel hoe I am feeling.
I thought that love was hiding
in the stars above
My heart was ice from trying
To find it in the dark
Now I'm here
To take a load off your feet
I'm here
To learn a lesson in how to love
I want to show you how I feel but I don't know how to show it, I find it difficult to show my feelings usually but with you it is easy to show how I feel. Oh how I would love for you to help me show you how I feel, could you help me show you how I feel?
All my Love Des
The next morning Des felt like he had been hit over the head with a baseball bat; he looked around the room and muttered, "Christ, drank far too much". He prised himself off the couch to go and get a large, strong black coffee to clear his head.
Empty beer cans lay on the floor and table; Des had gone through a whole 12 pack over the course of the night. He began cleaning the room slowly and came across the letter which he had wrote the night before; Des being a hard man did not wish to show Sheelagh the letter as he did not like showing feelings. The letter was placed on the kitchen table as he wanted time to figure out exactly what he was going to do with it. Des left for work in a better mood than the day before; this due to the fact that he had sorted out his feelings for his Irish sergeant and new that she was still with him.
Reg noticed a large change in his friend's behaviour; to him Des seemed to be more calm today, less built up than usual, it seemed like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Reg was correct, as Des did feel like a huge weight had been lifted and because of this, he was in the frame of mind to show his serge how he felt. With this thought, he went of to search for his serge.
Sheelagh was sat in her office contemplating the past few days' events. The events had made Sheelagh realise that she was indeed attracted to Des, this fact made Sheelagh feel uneasy as she should not be having these feelings towards another. The silence of the room made her feel unnerved as there was nothing to distract her from her thoughts, about the scouse PC who had rescued her only a few days before.
Outside the door Des was contemplating whether or not to go into the office; there was apart of him that said 'yes go in and tell her' and then there was apart of him which was scared of telling her. He was scared that she would tell him that she felt the same way but she couldn't be with him or she would say, she didn't feel anything beyond friendship for him. His hand gripped the door handle ready to open the door, when Reg appeared from around the corner.
"There you are....I've been looking all over for you!" Reg sounded a bit worried. Which Des picked up on.
"I was just looking for the serge, needed to speak to her." Des told Reg.
"Well we got a shout, you'll have to speak to her later" Reg said.
By the end of the shift Des still hadn't managed to speak to Sheelagh, but by now his bottle had gone. Something on the wall caught Des' eye, it was a poster talking about the karaoke competition night that was on in a couple of days. This gave him an idea; he would tell her his feelings in a song as he had a good voice. He just hoped that Sheelagh was going, so he signed up. Now all he had to do was choose a song.
The day of the karaoke competition had arrived and Des spent the whole shift trying to build up the courage to do the performance as Reg kept taking the Michael out of him. Every time Reg did this he began to feel even more nervous.
The day was uneventful and Des was glad when the shift was over; over the shift he had managed to build up the enough courage to go on stage. He was ready to try and show the woman he loved a part of how he was feeling. He was still unsure about whether he was doing the right thing and if he was showing her is feelings. Des just hoped he was indeed showing her a part of himself.
"Next up we have Desmond, who will be singing completely live with his guitar. Hope his singing is better than his driving." Gina introduced Des, which got a few laughs from his colleagues.
Des took up his position on the stool, with the guitar at ready. It took Des a few seconds to build up the courage to start, but once he did he felt all his nerves vanish.
If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you were not mine would I have the strength to stand at all
I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
I don't want to runaway but I can't take t
I don't understand if I'm not made for you,
Then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
The room had gone completely silent as they could not believe that this was the same Des Taviner that was part of their team. When they had read Des' name on the list they thought he would do something more macho like a Robbie Williams hit, but instead he had chosen to do a ballad, which was dedicated to someone special.
Des found Sheelagh in the crowd and couldn't tear his eyes away from her, as she was looking stunning and he wanted her to know that this song was for her.
Sheelagh had noticed that he was looking directly at her, and she also couldn't tear her eyes away from him. She felt like he looking straight in her soul and new that she felt the same way as he felt, but would never admit to him.
If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?
I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I'm praying you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life
I don't want to runaway but I can't take t
I don't understand if I'm not made for you,
Then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
Silent tears began to fall down Sheelaghs cheeks which she wiped away quickly as she didn't want anyone to see.
'Cause I miss you, body and soul
So strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart
And pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side
I don't want to runaway but I can't take t
I don't understand if I'm not made for you,
Then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
The whole room was completely silent; Des didn't notice this as he was so enwrapped in Sheelagh. Des was brought out of his trance when the room erupted into applause. He didn't want to wait around; so he got up and walked of the stage quickly. Des needed some air, so he went outside to catch his breath. Outside, Des sat on the only bench which was facing away from the main entrance.
Sheelagh wanted to clear her head and try to piece together the things she had witnessed tonight; Des hadn't taken his eyes off her all the way through his performance which scared Sheelagh. She new he fancied her, maybe even had feelings for her but she hadn't realised exactly how strong those feeling were until tonight. Sheelagh noticed Des sat on a bench facing away from her; she took this opportunity to watch him, letting her thoughts run wild. She approached him slowly as she didn't want him to know she was there.
"Des" she said.
Des gave a start; he hadn't expected anyone to come outside, let alone Sheelagh. He turned to face her; his face had brightened up and his mood had improved once he had heard her voice.
"Sheelagh, what are you doing out her?" he asked.
"I could ask you the same question?" Sheelagh replied, as she sat down next to Des.
"Needed some air and clear me head" he said, he didn't want to turn to Sheelagh as he knew that if he looked into her crystal eyes he would simply drown.
"Yeah, me too. Needed to get some things straightened out in my head" she told him.
The silence between them began to unnerve Des.
"So....what did you think of my performance?" he asked.
"Very good, I didn't know you could play the guitar let alone sing" she replied.
And the air was filled with silence once again. This time it was Sheelagh who was unnerved, so she thought it was time to come clean; but before she had the chance Des began to speak.
"Err...I was wondering..."Des began
"Yes, Des" Sheelagh replied; turning to face him, with anticipation.
Des turned to face Sheelagh; he was looking into the blondes, blue eyes which he quickly drowned in. Des finally picked up the courage to ask her, what he wanted to ask her for awhile.
"Would you like to come back to mine? That's if you want to," he replied, with his new found confidence.
"Yes, I would like that" Sheelagh replied, lost in Des' eyes.
Once they had arrived at Des' flat the nerves began to build in both Des and Sheelagh as they were both unsure about what was going to happen. Sheelagh was having second thoughts about agreeing to come; her head told her not to go in and to think about her husband but her heart told her it was the right thing to do. Sheelagh decided to listen to her heart and enter Des' flat and face up to what was going to happen. Des on the other hand, could not believe that Sheelagh had agreed to come back to his. When he asked her to come, he thought she would decline his offer but here she was in his flat.
"Would you like a drink?" Des asked walking towards the kitchen.
"A cuppa would be good thanks" Sheelagh replied following him.
Des started to make the tea when he realised he had no milk, so he told Sheelagh that he would be back as quickly as possible and left her in the flat on her own. Des was in such a rush to leave the flat that he forgot about the letter that was still sat on the kitchen table. Sheelagh trying to process the events that had just happened when she noticed the letter sat on the table. She thought nothing of it until she sat down at the table and she read her name at the top of the page, this fact made Sheelagh curious. Sheelagh picked up the letter and began to read.
While Sheelagh was reading the letter Des was trying to get to the shops and back as quickly as possible. Des took this time to think about what he wanted to happen tonight; all Des wanted from tonight was to admit his feelings for Sheelagh and to also find out whether she felt the same way that he did. He was unsure; he thought that she felt the some way but now he was thinking maybe she didn't. He was not thinking straight by this point as so many things were running through his head.
"Sheelagh" Des shouted but there was no reply.
As he did not hear a reply Des began to panic; he picked up his pace as he walked towards the kitchen where he had left her. The sight that was in front of him once he reached the kitchen made Des stop dead in his tracks. Sheelagh was sat at the table with the letter in front of her; Des had no idea what to say so he made his way to the kitchen table to remove the letter from sight.; Sheelagh anticipated this and moved it out of the way before Des could get to it. Des just stood there staring at Sheelagh for a moment until he decided to move and sit opposite Sheelagh; part of him wanted to run in the opposite direction but the stronger part of him wanted to stay and try to convey his feelings for her. Sheelagh noticed that he hesitated when he moved to sit opposite her; these events had begun to show her a different side to this man.
"Sheelagh, look what I put....." Des began.
"Yes, I will help you," Sheelagh said before he could finish.
"What......what did you just say?" he asked.
Sheelagh moved from her seat to sit next to Des, she took his hand in hers.
"I said, I will help you show me how you feel," she replied.
With her reply, she leaned forward and kissed Des gently. He froze, he didn't know what to do or say. Never in his wildest dream had he imagined her kissing him, it was always him kissing her. She noticed that he had froze and she began to worry that she had done the wrong thing.
"Des....." she began.
He silenced her with a kiss; the kiss started out as a gentle kiss but it soon became passionate. When they broke apart were both breathless; they looked deep into each others eyes and they both could see what each other felt. They both knew what was going to happen so Des got up and held his hand out for Sheelagh, which she happily took. Des began to lead her to the bedroom; Sheelagh knew where he was going and she gave no resistance.
Des woke up the next morning feeling like the world had a new meaning and Des felt the happiest he had ever been. He had the woman he loved asleep in his arms, what more could he want. He looked down at her; she was smiling in her sleep and she had a look of pure peace, this made him smile. 'I just want to stay here for ever and I am the luckiest man in the universe' he thought to himself. Des suddenly felt a bit guilty, as he saw the wedding ring on her finger, this made Des feel unsure. He gently eased himself out of bed whilst trying not to wake Sheelagh. Des put on a pair of boxers and headed for the living room; before he left the bedroom he took one last look at Sheelagh. He decided to put on some quiet music on as he didn't want to wake Sheelagh and took up place on the couch as he thought about last nights events.
About an hour later Sheelagh walked into the living room dressed in one of Des' t-shirts, she walked over to Des.
"Des" she said, as sat down on the couch next to him.
Des hadn't even heard her come into the room, let alone knew she was there until she spoke to him. He put his arms around her and pulled her in close, as he needed her close to him. Sheelagh could tell that something was wrong with Des, but she thought she would wait and see if he brought it up himself. But she couldn't take it any longer so she spoke.
"You alright Des?" she asked him.
"Yeah I'm fine" he replied.
He kissed her forehead and watched her out of the corner of his eye, as he was not ready to tell her about his insecurities. When he kissed her, she felt slightly at ease and thought she would let it go for the time being as she knew he didn't want to talk just yet. So she snuggled closer to him and listened to the soft music in the background and thought bout last night's events.
"Do you wanna a cuppa?" Des asked.
Sheelagh looked at him, trying to read his thoughts, but she couldn't read what he was thinking.
"Yeah, that would be lovely, thanks" she replied.
Des began to get off the couch, but stopped, 'tell her, honesty is the best policy' a voice inside Des told him. He settled back down on the couch.
Sheelagh sat and watched him go through this conflict, she began to worry that maybe he was having second thoughts about last night.
"Des, talk to me, please" she said.
"I........I don't know, I mean......" he whispered.
Sheelagh touched his cheek gently and he turned his head towards her, so that she could look at his face. As he turned to face her he looked deep into her eyes; hew could see the confusion, worry and love in her eyes. She looked back deep into his eyes and saw the love and the insecurity in his eyes.
"Do you regret last night?" she asked.
"No, of course not. Last night was the best night of my life, it was amazing." He replied.
"Well, what's wrong then?" she asked.
"I don't know....I feel guilty in a way......I feel like I shouldn't have these feelings, I should keep them locked up and not tell you, that it was wrong to tell you, I mean you are mar....." he rambled.
Sheelagh cut him off by kissing him thoroughly.
"What you do that for?" he asked.
"You were rambling and I feel the same, but I can't keep my feelings inside after last night. It would be wrong to do so." She replied.
"What about Patrick?" Des asked.
"What about him Des? This won't affect my relationship with him just yet...I can't just walk out and leave him. It's going to take time for me to figure out what to do but I don't care how long it takes as long as you are there." She answered.
"I'll be right by your side for as long as you want me to be. I love you Sheelagh" he said lovingly.
"I love you to" she replied.
He kissed her and the kiss started to become more passionate but Sheelagh pulled away.
"We've got to get ready for work, we cant both turn up late now can we." She told him.
"Suppose not" he replied, kissing her again.
Des got up and went to make some breakfast while Sheelagh got ready. She walked into the kitchen to find some toast and tea on the table; she sat down and waited for Des to return from getting ready. They both sat down and ate their breakfast quickly and went off to face the day together.
Des pulled up, around the corner from the station.
"You gonna be alright?" he asked Sheelagh.
"Des...I only have to walk around the corner, I think I will be ok with that!" she replied happily.
"That's not what I meant, and you know it" he said seriously.
"Yeah I know it'll be fine don't worry" she said.
She leaned over and kissed him quickly, before she got out of the car and started to walk into work the happiest she had been in a long time.
Des pulled up just in time to see Sheelagh walking in to the station, 'she looks even more beautiful today' he thought to himself.
He was getting ready for work still high from last night, when Tony, Reg and Garry walked in.
"Where you get to last night?" Tony asked him.
"Went home...had an early night" he replied.
"Oh aye, was she good then?" Garry asked.
"Bet she was! Have you seen the bags under his eyes?!" Tony said.
"Come on Des, tell us who she was?" Reg added.
"Look there was no one, alright." He told them trying to conceal his smile.
Smithy walked into the locker room and caught the end of the conversation.
"Where you get to last night Des?" Smithy asked.
"I...." he began before Garry cut him off.
"He got lucky....but he isn't saying anything" Garry added.
"Was she any good?" Smithy asked.
"Alright, alright! She was bloody fantastic, had me up all night and by god was she good!" Des told them.
"Told you he got lucky last night. So who was she Des? Come on don't keep us in suspense!" Reg said.
"Yeah who was she?" Garry added.
"Like I am going to tell you lot who she was" he told them, with that he walked out of the locker room and headed for the briefing room.
"Alright lads who left early last night?" Smithy asked.
"Sergeant Murphy" Reg said.
"Two blondes sat the bar disappeared round about the same time as Des" Garry said.
"Debbie left round about that time as well" Tony added.
"It definitely would not have been Sheelagh and I don't think it would have been Debbie. Now those two blondes are definitely a possibility, definitely Des' type of thing!" Smithy said.
"Today is gonna be a good one!" Garry added and they headed off to the briefing room.
Sheelagh was sorting out some files, when she felt two strong arms encircle her waist.
"You smell gorgeous" Des told her.
She turned in his arms to face him.
"Des...what am I going to do with you?" she replied.
"I can think of a few things!" he replied with a wink.
"Go on with ya before I do something I regret!" she said with a laugh.
"You wouldn't" he replied kissing her.
"Now go before the inspector sees" she told him.
"Alright I'm going on one condition" he said.
"What would that be then?" she asked.
"I can see you tonight" he replied.
"I cant promise, but I will try" she answered honestly.
"I'm off, see you in a mo" he left kissing her one more time.
Sheelagh stood there watching him leave; she was so amazed with herself for the fact that she had put herself first for once in her life. She felt excited by the fact she didn't know where this was heading.
The day had been very uneventful so far for Des and Reg, they had spent most of the shift sat waiting for a call to come through. Des couldn't get Sheelagh out of his mind; last nights events kept running through his mind, he still couldn't believe what had happened.
Reg found Des' silent, happy mood really odd as usually when Des scores, he can't stop bragging about her. But today was different as he had not told Reg anything about her. So Reg being the nosy parker that he is thought he would quiz Des about his mysterious lady.
"Was she blonde?" Reg asked.
"For crying out loud, can't you just leave it" Des said, getting more annoyed.
"My god, you feelin alright Des?! I mean it's not like you to keep quiet about your latest conquest" Reg said.
"She aint my latest conquest!" he snapped back.
At that moment a car drove past at top speed and Des began to give chase.
"Sierra one to Sierra oscar" Reg said.
"Go a head Sierra one" came the reply.
Des slammed on the brakes as the car they were chasing had come to an abrupt holt and the three offenders had scampered on foot. Des and Reg began the chase.
"Chasing three ic1 males down south bank road" Reg replied as he began to chase after the lads.
A call was put out to all available that urgent assistance was needed down south bank road.
Sergeant Murphy and PC Young answered the call and headed for south bank Road.
Meanwhile the 3 lads had come to a dead end; Des and Reg thought they had them cornered when one of the lads pulled out a gun. Des and Reg began to move backwards.
"Just calm down mate" Des said.
"Back off or I will shoot" one lad said.
"Look mate there's no need for this" Reg said.
"You better shut up otherwise he will do it" one lad said.
They then heard the other car coming towards the road. The made the lads more anxious and nervous....the lad began to shake and he pulled back on the trigger with out thinking. There was a loud bang that rang through the air.
"Shit" Des said as he fell to the floor.
Reg went for one of the lads as the other two ran back down the road only to be stopped by Sergeant Murphy and PC Young.
Sheelagh and Kerry came to where Reg and the other lad was; Sheelagh noticed that Reg was attending to an injured party and went over to check who it was. She was not prepared for what she saw, Des with blood following from a womb on his shoulder. Sheelagh began to panic, she could not loose Des now, and not after what has happened that would be too hard to bear. The nurse side of Sheelagh began to kick in and she took over from Reg; with in minutes the ambulance had arrived along with inspector Gold.
The inspector told Sheelagh to go with Des to hospital and keep them informed with what was going on. Sheelagh was glad that the inspector had told her this as she would have forced her way in there otherwise. Sheelagh sat in the ambulance watching the paramedics working on Des, praying for his life.
Des was taken straight to theatre once they arrived at the hospital as they wanted to remove the bullet and repair the damage as quickly as possible.
While Des was in theatre, Sheelagh sat outside waiting for some news. Why had it happened? Why couldn't he let her be happy for once in her life? She had never asked for anything in her life but she thought she would start now. She asked for his life, to let him be hers, to let there souls and hearts become one and to ask that he pull through as she did not want to live with out him. She couldn't believe how strongly she felt about Des, when had it become so strong? She had always thought that the love she had for Patrick was enough to survive on but now she knew that it wasn't, she needed more and with Des she got it. So many questions kept running through her mind. Her thoughts were interrupted by Pc Best.
"Have you heard anything?" Garry inquired.
"No" Sheelagh replied quickly as she didn't want to speak because she knew her voice would break. She didn't even look at Garry, she didn't want him to see the unshed tears in her eyes and the tear stains which covered her cheeks.
"The inspector sent me to relieve you." Gary told her.
Sheelagh told Garry that she was staying at the hospital and to tell the inspector of this fact. Garry was completely surprised by this but decided to leave it alone.
Des was in theatre for another two hours as there were a few complications. Sheelagh was still sat waiting for news when a doctor appeared.
"Sergeant Murphy" the doctor asked.
"Yes" Sheelagh replied.
"Pc Taviner is going to be fine, we managed....." the doctor went on.
Sheelagh switched off once she knew he was going to be fine, she felt happy, glad and excited that she would have Des still in her life.
".....he will have to stay in for a week, just as a precautionary measure" the doctor concluded.
"Can I see him?" she asked, rather anxiously.
"This way, he may be drowsy so don't expect too much" the doctor said.
The doctor showed Sheelagh to one of the side rooms on the ward, she thanked the doctor and stood at the window watching Des. She couldn't bring herself to open the door and see him; she had too many emotions spinning around inside of her. She felt happiness as she still had Des in her life but part of her felt guilty and wrong as she shouldn't be stood here feeling the love and happiness she had for this man. She should be feeling the love for her husband not one of colleagues.
Sheelagh opened the door with shaky hands; Des heard the door open and turned to see who it was....'Sheelagh' Des said to himself. Des' face lit up at the sight of the beautiful blonde that now stood next to him, he held out his head for her which she took as she sat down on the chair next to his bed. They both sat there staring into each others eyes and silently communicating there feelings for each other.
"Des...I.....don't know...I..." Sheelagh wanted to tell how she felt when she thought she had lost him, but she couldn't get the words right.
"Shee what's wrong?" Des asked concerned.
When...today I thought I had lost you.....it made me realise what you mean to me and how I feel deep inside...I said I loved you Des but I lied, what I feel for you is so much more....I don't...I don't think that I could live a day with out...I love you so much" Sheelagh told Des.
She couldn't keep the unshed tears inside any longer; they began to fall down her soft, silk skin.
"Shee please don't cry...especially don't cry because of me....I feel the same way, I love you so much it hurts inside when you are not there with me. I can't stand to spend a moment away from you, you are the other part of my soul, you complete me and make me a better man. I love you too." Des told Sheelagh this as he held her hand tightly.
A week later Des was released from hospital and put in the care of Sheelagh. Over the past week Sheelagh had thought about her relationship with Patrick and have her relationship with Des. She came to the conclusion that she would leave Patrick for Des; this was easier said than done. She just wanted to pack her bags and leave but she couldn't, she needed to talk with the kids about her feelings. After speaking to Des about this, she finally picked up the courage to tell her kids that she loved someone else. The two oldest kids found it easier take in than the youngest. Sheelaghs daughter knew that her mother had been miserable up until Sheelagh started at sun hill but she just thought it was because she was doing a job she loved. None of the kids were happy that she was leaving their father but they wanted their mum to be happy and they could see that she would be happiest with Des.
Sheelagh left Patrick and moved in with Des, this news was all round the station in record time. Nobody in the station could believe that Sheelagh and Des were a couple as they all saw Des as a womaniser. The only person who was not so shocked was Reg, he had picked up on Des' feelings for Sheelagh, well he knew that he fancied her but he would never have guessed that it was more than that let alone love.
Des and Sheelagh had only been together for a few weeks but in that short space of time, Sheelagh had shown Des how to feel and how to show her how strongly he loved her. This made him feel like he had won the jackpot, he could not be any happier than what he was now.
Sheelagh came home from her shift to find Des making dinner and singing along to Michael Bolton. She stood there watching him; she thought to herself that she was the luckiest woman alive. Sheelagh had never felt so alive like she did when she is with him; he had shown her how to live and how to put herself first.
Des turned around to find Sheelagh standing there, and he began to sing the song to her.
Said I loved you but I lied
Coz this more than love I feel inside
Said I loved you but I was wrong
Coz love could never ever feel so strong
Said I loved you but I lied.
Both Des and Sheelagh had learnt something from each other over the weeks; this made them much stronger people. They had started a new life together and hoped that it would last forever.
The End