Doctor Who - Steel Revolution
By Stuart Pinel

The TARDIS jolted again. The Doctor cursed the fact that he hadn't replaced the stabilizers on his old craft. Perhaps he would have thought more about the offer if the supplier wasn't Sabalom Glitz. The Doctor's mood was not helped by the fact that Peri was whining in his ear - something or other about breaking her heel. He was sure that whatever was going wrong with his old craft was something to do with the gravimetric pressures outside. At least fairly sure. The TARDIS was not allowing the Doctor to change its course. The Doctor believed that this was because the gravitational stresses outside would tear the TARDIS apart if it attempted to resist the pull. If he had known the true reason why he would have been even more worried. Very worried indeed in fact.

Peri emerged from the TARDIS before the sounds of materialisation had had time to complete. It couldn't be denied, she had looked better. Aside from the broken heel, she had a cut on her arm from having been slammed into the console and innumerate bruises.

'I'm never going to travel in that contraption of yours again Doctor.' she shouted back into the control room.

The Doctor was very preoccupied and not very sympathetic. 'If you want to spend the rest of your days on this smelly, tropical mudball I could always leave you here.' he offered kindly while surveying the scene. It was indeed as he had said - The TARDIS had deposited them in a purple jungle that had a smell just like cabbages past their prime.

If the Doctor was short with Peri, he could conceivably be excused for this. He was convinced there was something wrong. Although nothing like a biological intelligence, the TARDIS could be considered to have 'moods' and over the centuries, the Doctor had learned to understand her and he just knew something was wrong. The controls were sluggish, alien The more he thought about what had happened, the more worried he became. It could be that his attempted course change was implemented as soon as the TARDIS felt it was safe to, but he couldn't believe that either. His telepathic link with the TARDIS was vacant, impersonal. Somehow The TARDIS seemed like a stranger to him.

The Doctor's thoughts were cut off by Peri squawking at him and giving him an earful about his abandoning her crack. It had seemed such a nice day as well.

The door whirred and opened and the Commander entered. As he came through the door, it shut prematurely, barely giving him time to get through. He was a Beurate, a cautious people not best suited to the puzzles of space but here he was, commanding this expedition from the Cratt Mining Corporation.

The Commander had been with the corporation for approximately 90 years. According to all the advertising, The Cratt Business Empire was an intergalactic mega-corporation (technically true, but they only had one small office outside the Milky-Way) that was looking for exciting, go-getting people not afraid to work without supervision. After hearing this, the Commander had not intended to apply for a job there, but the working endeavour office had insisted that he apply for at least 15 jobs per week on leaving full time education so he had applied for a job as a mining safety officer. He was accepted immediately, proving the lies that are inherent to all job advertising, and got to know the corporation. Cratt was supposed to be the family to its employees. Like most big companies of the era, it preferred to get young unmarried employees and try to provide spouses for them within the company. They had the usual company morning exercise programmes, the company songs, and they even had a company God (Smald, the first managing director of Cratt). The Commander was ideally suited to this environment as it allowed him to sit uninterrupted at his desk and write safety manuals about mining, an arrangement that delighted him as it had meant he never had to even glance at a mine. Unfortunately for him, due to a computer error he was promoted to command a mining team. His bosses knew immediately that it was an error but didn't like to admit to mistakes. So they sent him off into space.

Very surprisingly he had survived and discovered that he wasn't bad at the practical side of mining as well and this was now the fourth mining operation he was in command of. Less surprisingly, he was a very by the book commander as he has written the book. He had just finished his regulation safety inspection of the morning, looking over his men's shoulders to make sure his men hadn't blown apart the wrong mining seam. On this expedition, he was being even more by the book than usual. Ever since they had came to this cursed mudball things had been going wrong. This planetoid, Remon 4, should have been one of the easiest planets to mine, as it actually had a breathable atmosphere, but no. The machinery had been working when it felt like it and the accident rate was the highest he had ever heard of. Two of his men were in the Medical wing, after driving their huge mechanical digger off the edge of a cliff. While still conscious Tainin, one of the drivers, had claimed that the digger had driven itself over. The Commander didn't believe a word of it, although he did as he had to and wrote Tainin's explanation of mechanical suicide down in his daily report for the company. Smald knows, but he was dreading the reply.

He activated his compu-screen and it fizzed at him with a rebellious tone before coming online. A flashing light at the corner of his screen told him that a message was waiting for him. Preparing himself for the worst, he hit a switch and the message appeared on his screen:

CRATT MINING CORPORATION
-TO COMMANDER REMON 4 OPERATION-
-IN RECEIPT OF YOUR REPORT.-
-COMPANY CAN NOT AFFORD THIS NUMBER OF ACCIDENTS.-
-DISPATCHING SPECIAL ENVOY TO INVESTIGATE.-
-END OF LINE.-

The Commander sighed. This was what he expected and he was not at all pleased to be proven right. He went to turn the machine off and it gave him an electric shock as a parting gift. Wondering what this observer from head office would say if anything like that happened to him made the Commander head to the engineering deck. He wanted words with the chief engineer.

'Oh, and why can't we just take off again?' demanded Peri.

'Because this planet is surrounded by gravimetric fields and we have to wait for a gap in them.' said the Doctor irritably.

'Well why can't we wait in the TARDIS?'

'You can if you want to,' said the Doctor who, if she were going to moan all day, wouldn't mind being rid of her. 'But I have to set this up in a clearing or we'll never know when we can take off again.' Another reason he was slightly annoyed at Peri was that he was carrying a large amount of atmospheric analyses equipment, and she could have offered to carry some. Didn't she realise that when you pass nine hundred years of age, you're not supposed to carry around large lumps of machinery? Did she even care?

'I think your machine has a grudge against me today. Your food dispenser gave me an electric shock.'

'Probably a residual effect of travelling through an negatively charged gravimetric storm.'

Peri wondered if he knew that she didn't have the faintest clue what he was talking about. She wondered if he even cared. Ever since he had regenerated into this quick tempered, curly haired... She really couldn't decide whether she liked this Doctor or not. Usually. At this moment though, she definitely knew. 'Thanks for the sympathy.'

'Stop!' The Doctor said this in such a way that she stopped instantaneously.

'What is it Doctor?' she asked nervously.

'Just a particularly large pit I nearly walked into.' He replied. 'But this pit was dig by machinery. This planet must be inhabited.'

'So?'

'So why didn't the TARDIS's scanners detect anything?' Peri was just about to give a scathing reply about the reliability of the TARDIS in general, let alone the quality of the scans, when she heard a blood-curdling scream. Questions could wait. It was time to run again.

The Commander felt sick. Virril had been run over and crushed by his own multi-transporter. Dr Nahell had summoned him immediately and the Commander wondered why Nahell had even been called out. There couldn't be many people that thought that Virril could have benefited from being seen by a doctor. Few corpses can ever have looked deader.

The Commander felt helpless. Virril had been a fellow Beurate and a friend of his for many years. The Commander knew him as a very cautious man, just like all of their species. It was inconceivable that he should leave the brakes off his multi-transporter. The Commander's train of thought was shattered as he heard someone running towards him.

'What happened?' A stranger in even stranger clothes was asking.

'Who are you?' Dr Nahell was asking.

'Nahell.' the Commander said sharply, and then stood to attention. 'You must be the special envoy from Cratt Central. I'm afraid that the accidents have been getting worse if anything and as you can see,' He glanced at Virril's body and winced 'we have just had our first fatality.'

'But we're not...' Peri began.

'But we're not just witnessing minor accidents now are we. I am the Doctor, Cratt special envoy. This is Miss Brown - my assistant. Could you supply for us some accident reports...' The way the Doctor asked, it was obviously not a question.

'Certainly sir.' the Commander said, relieved to be back in his little world of paperwork. 'If you could just give me your identiprint and I'll send off to my display unit for copies of the reports.'

'My identi-what?' said the Doctor.

'Your palm print in this identester.' said the Commander producing a small computer unit from his waist-belt. The Commander saw the Doctor fidget reluctantly. 'Surely there can be no problem if you are the special envoy..'

'Of course I am.' said the Doctor defiantly and reluctantly held his hand towards the identester.

Peri was looking at him with daggers in her eyes. What had he got them mixed up in now?

The Doctor knew that he would be discovered but could really see no way round it now. He closed his eyes and dubiously pressed his hand into the identester. He had maybe expected the little red lights on it to start flashing but did not expect the electric shock that sent him staggering back. He looked up from his place on the ground. Dr Nahell was standing over him and running some sort of probe over his body. When he had looked at the readings he dashed over to the Commander who was just getting to his feet having been thrown backwards as well. Of course he had been holding the identester when the Doctor placed his hand in it. The Commander was fine, his fear for his safety totally masked by his fear of loosing his job.

'Sir' He began, 'I cannot imagine what has been the cause of this terrible incident. I shall of course confine myself to quarters as is specified in regulation 1-33-9.9d.' He trembled as he said this.

'Just get me those reports of the accidents and maintenance records and we'll forget about it' the Doctor said, relieved not to have been found out. The Commander looked astonished for a minute before a still disbelieving relief settled across his face. The Doctor couldn't help wonder just how bad regulation 1-33-9.9d was. 'And a cup of tea would also be in order for myself and my assistant I think.' Why was Peri looking at him like that?

'This is very difficult to accept commander.' the Doctor said after he had read the reports and settled himself in behind the Commander's desk. He wasn't in a good mood as the Commander had first marched him past a very bad choir of Miners singing some kind of company hymn and then, even worse from the Doctor's perspective, had been unable to produce anything like tea from his Sustenance unit. 'You managed to damage four out of six ships on landing due to "Navicomp Errors", destroy an extremely expensive digger and you have two men in the Medical wing and one in the Morgue. On top of that you nearly pan-fry yourself and me with faulty circuitry. What's your grand finale going to be? The bankrupting of Cratt industries?'

'I, I didn't...' was as far as the Commander could get before Peri grabbed the Doctor and pulled him out of his chair and dragged outside the door with a strength the Doctor hadn't credited her with.

'What are you doing to that man?' She hissed in his ear. 'Can't you see he's on the verge of a breakdown?'

'Two things really.' the Doctor replied. 'One, that If we don't at least threaten him with some kind of action he'll start to doubt that we're from Cratt Central.'

'Wherever that might be.'

'And two, every fault has been involving computer controlled machinery.'

'So?' Said Peri after a pause.

'So The TARDIS is computer controlled.'

'The TARDIS? But you said it was gravitational...'

'Gravimetric.'

'Alright, gravimetric pressures. You said that the food dispenser gave me a shock because of the ionic storm'

The Doctor replied 'I didn't see a storm near that Identist-whatsname.'

'Identester.' Peri said determined not to be out jargoned.

'Who can be right all the time?' the Doctor said. 'Anyway, that doesn't change the fact that this isn't right.'

'Not right?'

'Yes, there's definitely… something'

'Oh right, that explains everything!'

'Peri, I have been exploring the universe for quite some time now. I wouldn't have survived long without developing an eleventh sense. Can't you feel it? There's something going on here, something destructive, evil.' The Doctor grabbed Peri's shoulders and turned her round to face the Commander's office. They saw him sitting at his desk, looking at the regulations manual 'Look at the Commander. He means well, but if – when things get worse, he'll turn into that book of rules and regs!'

'So, is that a reason to terrify him?'

'People are dying! This, whatever it is, isn't in any rulebook! And anything that can override the TARDIS systems is a threat to more than a small mining colony. This isn't about his peace of mind - this is about lives. Now, unless you believe making him think we're having very lengthy discussions about him behind his back will improve his self-image, shall we get back to the Commander?' Peri glared and then nodded in reluctant agreement and they re-entered the office.

'Now Commander, I'm prepared to forget about these little incidents if you will offer me full, and I do mean full, assistance.' the Doctor said and Peri nodded.

The Commander couldn't believe it. 'But I thought that you had to complete a BET/S1/0019-7 for any electrical...'

Peri cut in: 'Forget the forms. Just tell us what happened during the landing.'

'Well the zero point five radial of the girometer went out of phase with the loam scan. This caused an error in the nucleus of the navicomp's stabiliser assemblage.' The Doctor and Peri looked at each other.

The Doctor said 'It doesn't matter. Just direct Miss Brown here to the medical wing where she can talk to your two injured workmen and myself to your chief engineer.'

If the Doctor had been annoyed with the Commander's following of by the book procedures, he was astounded by the petty-minded imbecile that was the chief engineer. For one thing, instead of looking at equipment, here was a man in his own spacious office that seemed to be banging his hand against his computer to get it to work. The bookshelf behind the engineer was filled with engineering books starting with 'Engineering for Stupies' and went in a straight line to 'How to be a competent chief engineer'. It was obvious from the shrink wrap that they had never been read.

'No, there is no evidence whatsoever to support your theory that there is some sort of wave transmission that is affecting all our machinery.'

'Have you looked for one?'

'The procedures don't call for that.'

'Procedures!' the Doctor exploded.

'We simply have to trace the mechanical faults.'

'Then you'll be here to doomsday. As an official of Cratt Central, I insist you do a scan for any wave transmissions emanating from the planet.'

'Why from the planet? It's not capable of sustaining life.'

The Doctor contemplated another explosion but decided against it. He would have to explain it in words of one syllable for this ignoramus. 'Firstly all your systems, on all your ships simultaneously malfunction as soon as you got in range of this planet and your ships were only saved by a miracle from being totally destroyed. Secondly If you carry on having this number of accidents you will finish repairs some considerable time after the universe expires of entropy and thirdly,' his voice rose in the way of many teachers to particularly dim students, 'Because you have been ordered to.' This was as close to words of one syllable that the Doctor ever got.

After a pause the chief engineer responded as if he had finally grasped that there just possibly could be something in what the Doctor was saying. 'The problem with scanning for wave emissions is that the scanners went down right at the beginning and we haven't been able to get them up and running since.'

The Doctor was one of the last people in the universe to contemplate violence, but at this moment he was wondering why the chief engineer hadn't been put down at birth. In a quiet, pitying voice he said: 'Why didn't you just tell me that in the first place?'

'You didn't ask.'

'Can't you repair it?'

'Whatever's wrong with it seems to be irreparable.'

'Then build a new unit with the spare parts.' There was a note of desperation in the Doctor's voice by now.

The chief engineer stopped and thought about this, before saying in a dubious tone, 'I suppose that I could always recall unit seventeen from repairing the Rec-zone's juke-box.'

'Yes, yes, you could.' The Doctor didn't trust himself to say anything else. He left the engineering section just as unit seventeen, a robot, entered. It occurred to him that unit seventeen had made remarkable time returning to engineering, almost as if it had been listening outside the door. The Doctor dismissed this thought - after all, if it were true, he'd have to go and talk to the chief engineer again.

Peri entered the medical wing and was pleased to find Dr Nahell was on Duty. He had appeared to be the most sensible person that she had met from the ships so far. Even so, she approached carefully, as he didn't seem in the best of moods at the moment.

'Dr Nahell? I'm Peri from Cratt Central. Is it possible to speak to the two drivers who were injured in the digger accident?'

Nahell's reply was swift and very angry. 'Oh I'm just a fully trained surgeon. I'm under-qualified to practice Medicine on this ship.' He answered in a very sarcastic voice.

'I'm sorry?' Peri asked.

'Oh come on. You pen pushers back at Cratt Central discovered that robot workers can heal more effectively then any human can hope to. Due to your stupid regulations I'm not allowed to practice medicine on this ship. I'm just a supervisor now, aren't I?'

'Er...' was all Peri was able to reply.

'And Tainin, one of the patients you asked about has just died because of the more advanced medicine practiced by this machine. It's slow, lumbering and effectively a murderer. Cretus, the other patient, is dying as well. If you come back in half an hour, he may be capable of talking to you before he too dies!' Nahell turned and stormed into his office.

Peri was left in the medical wing looking fairly stunned. The few other non-robotic medical personnel were trying and failing to pretend that they hadn't heard Nahell's outburst. Peri didn't want to be chased away however. She decided to wait for Cretus to recover. She had to do something while waiting and as The Commander hadn't given them the accident reports yet, she decided to ask at the reception window.

She pressed the buzzer and a middle-aged lady opened the window. 'Yes?' She said in a superior, impatient tone.

'I'd like to see the medical records for all cases on this mission please.' Peri replied, smiling the smile of someone whose civility was wearing a little thin.

The receptionist however, failed to notice this. 'I need a P46/QE/2.6 with the Chief Medical Officer's signature on before I can hand that information over.' She replied as if this was something every child should learn at nursery school. She had just pushed her luck.

Peri had decided that this was a good time to test her assumed rank. 'You will address me as Miss Brown. I am the Crattian Sub Delegate. The mission Commander has promised us his full co-operation. Forget the forms - I want the papers.'

The records officer, a tall haughty looking woman, looked down her nose at Peri. 'Do you mean the Remon 4 Operation medical records?'

'Yes. I mean the Remon 4 Operation medical records' Peri replied in a slow voice that she had already discovered that it was worth possessing on this planet. The thought that had earlier occurred to the Doctor was just occurring to her. Could it be that Cratt Central was populated by hereditary pen pushers?

'If you will wait over in the medical wing waiting area I will send a robot in with the relevant file.' she said frostily. Peri wandered over to the waiting zone. She discovered that even in a bureaucratic paradise like this ship the waiting zone still had in the middle of a ring of chairs, an old scratched table covered in a chaotic pile of old crumpled magazines. She sat down, picked up a boring magazine and felt homesick.

Peri was just finishing the first page when the robot entered. She noticed that it wasn't carrying any files. The robot kicked the table out of the way and advanced towards Peri with its arms outstretched.

Peri ducked and screamed, though not necessarily in that order. The robot's hands closed just above her head. She backed off towards while the robot marched on.

What occurred was so totally unexpected that Peri couldn't believe it for several seconds. The robot's foot came down on the pile of magazines it had kicked on the floor and it fell on its back. Peri ran towards the door. She had just reached the door when a hand lunged out and grabbed her foot. Peri held onto the doorframe in the uneven battle. Her shoe came off and she hit the wall opposite. The robot advanced towards her again and she dived out of its way but the robot advanced again. She had her back to the wall as it advanced; this time she had no possible way out. Unable to look at the robot, she spun round facing the wall sobbing.

Her hand struck the fire alarm. The air was filled with sirens. She barely noticed still waiting for the fatal blow that must arrive any second now. It didn't and she finally dared to turn around again. The robot was standing there with its arm poised for a killing strike, but completely frozen. She suddenly noticed that there was a recorded message coming over the P.A. system: 'Fire crews to Medical wing waiting area. All other personnel abandon ship. This is not a drill.' Peri sank to the floor.

'Come on. Wake up.' Peri Stirred.

'She needs her rest sir. Let her wake up in her own time.' Peri opened her eyes to see Dr Nahell attempting to persuade The Doctor to change tack. The Commander was also running around like a headless chicken in the background, apologising and quoting disciplinary regulations.

'Oh, fiddle-sticks. She'll be alright, won't you?' The last part was a demand, not a question.

'The robot?' Peri asked.

'All robots are automatically disabled when the fire alarm sounds.' The Commander replied. 'I've disabled all the shipboard robots until the problem can be categorised. It's a safety regulation I introduced in...' His voice tailed off as he got a glare from Peri, the Doctor and Dr Nahell.

'That Includes the Medi-bots, so it looks like I have my first work in some time. You had two cracked ribs, which I re-bonded, but I'm keeping you in overnight just in case you are allergic to any of the medication. Your medical records' Dr Nahell paused and stared at the Doctor before continuing: 'are apparently security classified.'

'How did you know what happened?' Peri asked.

'Security log' replied the Doctor. 'Also when the fire alarm went off, I knew it had to be you. And to anticipate your next question, the chief engineer...' It was the Doctor's turn to pause and look pained. 'The chief engineer is examining the robots to see what's going on.'

'He should be handing in his report to my office by now' the Commander said. 'Shall we...'

'By all means Commander.' The Doctor cut him off. 'I shall join you shortly. I need to have a private conversation with my associate first. Though send a copy of the engineering report over when it arrives.' The Commander and Dr Nahell left the room.

'So what's going on? I could have been...'

'I don't know. What exactly were you doing, Peri, when it attacked you?'

'Reading a magazine!'

'Before that.'

'I was waiting for the medical records.'

After a pause, the Doctor replied thoughtfully 'They would also contain all the accident reports.' The Doctor picked them up from Peri's bedside table. 'It's a miracle of bureaucracy. The papers were left over there before you even arrived in the room.' He looked at Peri, and discovered that she had nodded off again.

As the Doctor started to read the medical reports, he was forcing a calm on himself. He didn't want to consider what he was considering, but it would fit…. A whisker-less youth came in with the engineering file to find it grabbed and himself being shoved out of the door again all within one second. The Doctor picked up the roport from the Chief Engineer (noticing without amusement the misspelling of "engineer" on the cover) and went straight to the planetary emissions recordings. As he read, a growing sense of horror engulfed him. He sat down firmly on the bed as if pole-axed and said to a newly awoken Peri "I know!"

Outside the ship, one of the mechanical diggers that were standing idle started to power up. It's driver instantly switched it off again, scratched his head and went for his tea break. Half a minute later, almost as if it had been waiting for him to leave, the digger turned itself on again. And waited.

Peri was by now being dragged back to The TARDIS. 'Well, what is it then?'

'It was supposed to have been destroyed, but they never are, are they?'

'What are you talking about?' Peri screeched

'Well it started about five billion years ago, when the first civilisations of the universe were coming about. This race that called themselves the Doom Masters...'

'You can't be serious.'

'Oh yes. Whatever else their shortcomings, they always called a spade, a spade. Anyway the Doom Masters, decided to conquer the entire universe – not an impossible aim back then. They were the one of the most advanced races there were in those days, and there weren't many other civilised races to challenge them.'

'Not even your lot?'

'Back then "my lot" hadn't figured out what a bow and arrow was. Fortunately a resistance was built, led by the only other race sufficiently advanced to oppose them, the Dæmons.'

'Doctor, who are the...?'

'Don't interrupt. When they started to loose their crusade, the Doom Masters built massive ships, the Deathbringers, all co-ordinated by supposedly indestructible supercomputers, called Warbrains, to destroy the stars of the Dæmons' home worlds, and then to go on to subjugate every planet in the known universe. The Dæmons however managed to steer the fleet into a wormhole, send it back to the Doom Master's home system just as they fired their Sun-Eaters. Anyway, on one of his first time experiments, Rassilon managed to acquire a copy of the plans of the computer that controlled the ship. Genius that Rassilon was, he could only interpret a small percentage of the plans but he created an inferior copy - the Matrix!'

'So?'

'So! This is almost the exact stellar co-ordinates of the wormhole. If a computer ejected itself before it was destroyed, this is where it would be! It would try to complete its mission. It could commandeer almost any machinery in the universe to that end.' They were reaching journeys end; The TARDIS was in sight.

'But... Why are we returning to the TARDIS? Are you going to call the Time Lords?'

'Peri, Haven't you heard a word I said. All Time Lord technology is designed to be controlled by an inferior version of the computer we face. We wouldn't stand a chance.' The Doctor was obviously controlling his pain as he fished out the TARDIS Key from his pocket. 'And there's only one way that we'll have a chance. I'm going to disable the TARDIS. Permanently.' With that he walked up to the door, only to see the TARDIS de-materialise before his eyes.

The TARDIS re-materialised about 50 metres in front of them. It could only just be seen through the undergrowth.

'It's set the HADS.' the Doctor whispered.

'What?' Peri shouted, running over to the TARDIS. The Doctor just shook his head and stood still. Peri reached the TARDIS and it de-materialised again, this time appearing about 20 metres behind the Doctor. Peri ran back.

'What happened?' She demanded.

'It's set the HADS. It hasn't had time to by-pass the TARDIS's biological safeguards, so it just set the HADS.'

'Doctor, What are the HADS'

'Hostile Action Displacement System. HADS. It causes the TARDIS to move a short distance away when attacked.'

'So why don't you set it all the time.'

'Because with my lifestyle, it usually takes a week to locate the TARDIS again! And moreover, RUN!'

They saw coming through the Jungle, with scant regard for the trees, a ragtag fleet of mechanical diggers, moving relentlessly towards them. Some of the diggers still contained their drivers who had tried switching the engines off, only to be electrocuted. Several other drivers had been killed when their diggers ran them over.

The Doctor and Peri ran back towards the camp. Peri disagreed strongly with this plan of action.

'Why are we leading them back to camp? Shouldn't we try to lead them away from it?' she enquired.

'I think this way is far more satisfactory.' he said. He stopped dead as he saw the atmosphere analysers he had dropped earlier. 'Ah, bait' he said throwing one to Peri and nearly flattening her with it. He lifted the other one himself, turned it on and walked slowly forwards. After a few metres he shouted 'Stop!'

Peri looked in front of him to see the large excavation site that they had almost fallen into earlier. 'We can't climb down there!' She wailed.

'We don't have to.' the Doctor replied. He put down the Analyser and walked round the edge of the pit. The whine of the Diggers was now terrifyingly close. The Doctor was walking on slowly followed by a frantic Peri. A digger burst through the undergrowth and fell straight down into the pit. Two others followed straight in after it and although the others managed to stop, the ledge crumbled to allow a fourth to plummet to its doom.

'Homed in on the atmosphere analyser.' the Doctor calmly remarked to Peri as the remaining diggers slowly started to reverse of the precarious plateau. 'It has a powerful little computer and our friends just homed in on it. Let's see how the Commander's doing, shall we?' They were almost back at the camp when Peri wondered why she was still holding the other analyser.

The Commander was not doing particularly well at this particular moment. All the ships in his fleet had started going chronically wrong. There had been three other renegade robots, just like the one that nearly killed the Cratt assistant envoy, Miss Brown. He had removed the chief engineer to the prison area after he switched the robots back on, allowing this second rampage. Shortly after that, the sustenance units had started to malfunction and everyone on board had started to eat the emergency rations. Fortunately there, due to Cratt regulations, they had a stock sufficient to last six Crattian months. The only strange thing in that was that the emergency rations, which were supposed to be a survival diet, tasted much better than the food given out by the sustenance units. The afternoon religious services to the God of Cratt, Smald, had been disturbed when instead of playing hymns, started to play several pieces of culture music. All these faults paled into insignificance however when the artificial gravity and oxygen had their levels changed apparently at random. Regulations had demanded they abandon ship in case of these errors, but The Commander followed the letter of the regulations, which stated that in these events, the entire crew must be evacuated through the escape craft. Therefore, instead of just walking out through the door, he ordered all the crew back into their ships, and then blasted out with the escape craft. All the crew were accounted for except Dr Nahell, who walked out of the door 20 minutes later with trolleys full of medical supplies. Cretus had been discharged earlier, as Nahell had discovered there was noting much wrong with him - he had just been given too many painkillers. The Commander had threatened to throw Nahell in the prison for disobeying orders. Nahell simply pointed out that to do that they would have to re-enter the ship. The Commander was just trying to figure out a way to release the chief engineer from the prison without re-entering the ship, when The Doctor and Peri returned.

'Commander, get everyone out of the ships.' were the Doctor's first words.

For once, the Commander was able to report being one step ahead of the Doctor. Not that the Doctor had time to spare any praise.

'Right, abandon everything. We're about to be over-run by our own vehicles, and our only chance of survival is to get to the caves over there. Right, move out!' The Doctor then added quietly to The Commander 'Organise them quickly please' before admitting to himself that he hadn't quite pinned down public address in this regeneration yet.

Nahell dashed up to The Doctor. 'Doctor, what about these?' he said indicating the trolleys of medical supplies.

'Leave them too. We have to travel li… No - on second thoughts, bring them. They may be our only hope.' The Doctor helped Nahell and his staff push he trolleys in the chaotic retreat to the caves.

'Peri, help the Commander. He seems incapable of masterminding a retreat.'

It was late evening when they reached the caves and set up camp. They had only just beaten the Diggers here and now they were besieged by them. They had massive stones that they could roll onto the diggers if they started to climb the hill that the caves were on top of. The Doctor had not been happy to hear from The Commander that there was a nearer set of caves that they could have retreated to. Peri wasn't so upset about this though as they were very close to the outside water supplies for Remon 4, and so they could at least drink without trouble. The Doctor was still disgruntled and went to look at Dr Nahell's chemicals.

The Doctor and Dr Nahell were in the cave that the Commander had designated the medi-cave. Nahell had privately designated The Commander a moron, as he showed The Doctor the supplies he had salvaged.

'What do you need them for?' Nahell asked.

'Medical supplies can be used for some surprisingly non-medical purposes.' The Doctor replied. 'With all the equipment you've bought, we have here a fairly comprehensive chemistry set, yes?'

'I suppose so...'

'Explosives, acids and alkalines. There's an ancient artificial intelligence out there, controlling everything. We can't let it loose on the universe! We have to stop it here. I don't know what will destroy it, so we have to try several options.' Even though he had known the Doctor only a short time, Nahell knew that the lack of flippant comments did not bode well for any of their futures.

After about four hours, they had an array of possible ways to destroy the Warbrain. Although Nahell was exhausted, he carried on ferrying the competed compound to another cave. The Doctor worked on with stamina far above the human norm. He didn't even show any signs of slowing. He did however stop and tell Nahell to rest.

'I can't rest.' He protested. 'If we don't get this done...'

'You're so tired,' the Doctor replied, 'that you'll probably drop something and blow us up if you don't rest.' Nahell couldn't disagree and went to lie down. Sleep wasn't easy as the medi-cave was just next to the cave housing the shrine to Smald. If Nahell heard one more chant praising the managing director, he would scream. Still he was finally drifting into sleep.

'Doctor! Come quickly.' A voice screamed. Nahell noticed what an effective echo chamber this cave made. He looked up and saw it was Peri. The Doctor charged past him. Nahell groaned, got up and stumbled after them.

Outside, although a few diggers were keeping them hostage up the hill, the majority had dug up a large sight fairly near there. The remains of a very large spacecraft could be seen. The Commander gave him a digi-scope.

'Why didn't you tell me before?' the Doctor asked Peri.

'I was asleep' She replied. 'He was supposed to be keeping watch.' Peri said staring at the Commander.

'I've been watching them digging for hours.' the Commander said in a hurt tone.

'Why didn't you wake me then?' Peri demanded.

'You never asked.' Neither Peri nor the Doctor could think of a good reply to that. Nahell could, and muttered it under his breath.

The Doctor looked through the digi-scope again. The digging had stopped and all the diggers were converging on one area. One of the diggers was very carefully lifting the Warbrain out of the earth. The Doctor altered his digi-scope and zoomed in on their advisory. He saw it. It was a perfect cube about a foot tall. It had one red light in the centre of each face. The Doctor could see these lights flashing frantically. The light on the face nearest him suddenly flashed green. The Doctor received another electric shock, and once again found himself lying on the ground with Nahell running a medical probe up and down his body. The Doctor idly wondered how Nahell could get away with running that probe without receiving an electric charge.

Suddenly, there was a thunderous noise coning from the direction of the ships. The Doctor got up in time to see one of the undamaged ships take off. 'What's it doing?' the Doctor asked.

As if to answer his question, the ship turned and with almost deliberate slowness, aimed itself for a suicide run straight at them.

The Doctor ran over to Nahell and grabbed the medical probe. He threw it with skill and precision that part of his mind recognised he could no longer achieve at cricket. It landed at the bottom of the hillside; the ship changed direction and homed in on the probe. The Doctor stood looking down the hill, feeling pleased that this threat was now successfully diverted. Peri shrieked 'Get away from the edge!'

'What?' the Doctor enquired wondering what she was going on about. Then he looked down. 'Oh yes.' The ship was going slowly, but when it crashed the edge would collapse, as would the caves. He turned and ran, as did everyone else in the area. The Doctor was shouting to Peri 'Get everyone out of the caves!' Peri looked round to ask him what he would be doing, but he had gone.

Nahell was also wondering what the Doctor was doing, especially as he was being dragged back to one of the caves by the man who had just ordered them evacuated. 'What...?' was all that he had time to say however as he was having to concentrate ever increasingly on keeping his balance.

The Doctor got the message anyway. 'Chemicals.' was all he replied. He was right Nahell realised. The explosives and corrosives were their only hope to defeat this menace they were facing. Nahell wished he had not put them away quite so far into the cave. They had almost reached the table when the ship struck and they were thrown off their feet. Fortunately, Nahell had packed everything well so nothing had exploded, but the rockslide that had resulted from the crash had trapped them inside. Nahell wanted to use the explosives to blast their way out, but the Doctor insisted that they would only bring more rocks down. The only way out was with digging equipment, all of which was sadly controlled by the enemy. So that was it. They had lost.

Peri meanwhile was having problems of her own. She had figured out where the Doctor had gone, and discovered the cave in, but she was not too worried - The Doctor had survived so many alien menaces in the past, that she reasoned a rock fall was not likely to kill him now. Her problem was of a far more immediate nature. She could see the army of bulldozers advancing, carrying with them the Warbrain, but she could not convince any of the crew to move. All of them were outside the main cave, on their knees weeping. She could hear The Commander whimpering near the front of the crowd. He was going on about never returning to the maroon waters of Beurate. Peri was really starting to worry about the Commander.

She asked several people what was going on, but nobody answered her, until she came across Nurse Mugass, one of Dr Nahell's staff who she knew. He was trembling like a leaf.

'What's going on, Mugass?' Peri asked gently.

'We have witnessed the destruction of the shrine of Holy Smald. We automatically forfeit the support of the company and without their aid, we are doomed.'

At this Peri snapped. She went and stood in front of the cave and screeched 'Stop!' at the top of her voice. Everyone looked at her. The faintest gem of an idea had formed in her mind. The thing that decided her on this course of action was partially survival but mostly, she had to admit to herself, a desire to annoy the Commander. She stood on a very conveniently placed rock and barked at the crowd below. 'As Crattian sub-special envoy, I hereby take command of this crew.' Everyone stopped praying and turned to look at her. 'Well,' She said to herself, 'At least I have everyone's attention…'

The Doctor had already developed and then discarded 732 different plans before he settled on what he considered to be the one sane course of action. Nahell however still had one or two doubts.

'What?' Nahell practically screamed at the Doctor.

'Look, it's perfectly simple.' the Doctor replied. Nahell already knew the Doctor well enough to know that whatever he was proposing wouldn't be simple but couldn't figure anyway to stop him talking, so he let him continue. 'We can't dig ourselves out without excavators, and so the only path open to us is to make them dig there way in here.'

'Okay, accepted, but How?'

The Doctor was a tad disconcerted for a moment, then walked over to the second atmosphere analyser, picked it up and smiled. 'Well, if we're lucky, it'll fall for the same trick twice.'

Peri meanwhile had discovered a way to get everyone off there knees. She informed them that emergency regulations did not allow time off for prayers to Smald, and sure enough everybody got ready for duty. After all, nothing is above the discipline of the service.

Peri explained her plans to the crew. 'As everything mechanical can be taken over, we need weapons that do not involve anything like that.' She paused to hear the objections but everyone was just standing there watching her intently. Resisting the urge to giggle she continued. 'They must attack up this hill and so we have the advantage of height.' Wasn't anyone going to stop her to object to her plans or something? 'Therefore, we must get large rocks to roll down the hill on top of them.' Peri thought it must have been the least inspiring send off to war anywhere in the history of the universe, but they just went about their jobs with as much enthusiasm as they had whilst digging latrines of receiving a yearly bonus. Peri was standing on the conveniently placed rock and still waiting for the argument. After all, no victory came that simply!

Peri suddenly remembered the one thing she had forgot to mention. 'And if anyone sees them coming, tell me immediately.' She was a tad disconcerted when at least a dozen voices replied in unison; 'They're coming Ma'am.' Wishing she had not just said that she shouted 'Release the rocks! Down on to them!' she added as she had already had enough accidents with the literal-mindedness of these people. She was most pleased with her success rate as roughly a third of the force that had been coming up the hill was going back down again in pieces, but she knew the other two thirds of the diggers were still advancing. She turned round to order the gathering of more large rocks, when a sixth sense made her look up at an overhang above them. 'Another question I should have asked – was there a back pathway up the hill…' More diggers were there, bringing rubble from the rock face down on top of them. They were trapped.

The Doctor and Nahell were just getting ready to escape. The bait had worked. The Doctor had used the analyser's computer to convince the Warbrain that it was a highly advanced spacecraft. Nahell had been wondering why the Warbrain wouldn't just take it over, but the Doctor had an answer to that as well. 'It needs a little time to take over a computer.' He explained as if to a dim-witted student. 'I simply remove the power pack every half minute. But it will think there could be something more powerful controlling it. Like a weapon of the Dæmons!' That which Nahell had understood, he hadn't believed but to his amazement here they were being dug out. The Doctor and Nahell gathered all the explosives and acids and awaited their chance.

Peri shouted 'Split up! Try to escape!' Much to her amazement, there did seem to be a way mostly unguarded, by the sides of the water tank, but this way only led to a cliff face. At least three crewmembers died there, running straight ahead without looking. The only possible place to retreat to was the caves that hadn't already been sealed up by the ship crashing earlier. The last sight Peri saw before she ran into the caves and relative safety was the Warbrain being brought up the cliff by the final mechanical digger.

The digger that was nearly into the cave where the Doctor and Nahell were trapped. Covering their mouths, the doctor threw a small amount of the concentrated acids at the computer panel of the digger. The Warbrain lost the link to the digger which reversed slightly down the hill allowing the Doctor and Nahell to slip out, carrying a box stuffed with their chemistry experiments. Escaping just as the Warbrain reached the plateau. The Doctor started to throw bottles onto the Warbrain and its digger. 'Alkalis first, explosives second, acids third' the Doctor roared. By the time they had stopped throwing their concoctions down onto the Warbrain, Nahell could hardly breathe due to the acidic vapours.

The Doctor stood up. 'Well, that should be that then. Time to find Peri and get out of here.' With that he turned away and started to walk down to the lower plateau. He had to admit to a feeling of smugness. That was until he was nearly run over by another digger. It drove over the pile of slag that had been the Warbrian's previous digger and recovered the completely untouched Warbrain.

The Doctor ran over to join Nahell. Nahell whispered to the world in general; 'It's designed to operate in space, with all the weapons can be thrown at it. We never had a chance.'

The Doctor stood up. 'In space! Of course!' he shouted and pulled the atmospheric analyser out of his pocket and switched it on and dashed further up the hill to where the other diggers that had taken the back path up the hill were waiting. The Warbrain's current digger was in hot pursuit and the other diggers were also perusing the Doctor down the hill. At the last moment, the Doctor dashed to one side, down a narrow pathway over the caves. All the remaining diggers were chasing him down this steep hilly path, led by the Warbrain's digger. The Doctor fell and rolled down the hill, hearing both Peri and Nahall's shouted voices but he was within sight of his target – the water tank. The doctor rolled to one side and threw the analyser at the water-tank. Out of control after coming down the steep hill, the digger was by that time quite unable to stop and smashed straight into the water tanks. A tidal wave of water erupted from the tanks and proceeded to drench everything. The Doctor bellowed to Nahell to look at the Warbrain.

Nahell looked down to see the Warbrain on the ground, all the lights on its surface pulsating desperately as the water enveloped it. The lights all came up at once more and slowly faded to nothing.

The Commander was worried. Now that the emergency was over, the dreary march back to the surviving ships had begun and he was back in command. But many of the things that the Doctor had done were not in the Cratt regulations, including giving Nahell full control of the Medi-bots. The Doctor simply insisted that all these problems were his responsibility, which was bound to mean a black mark on his record. He and Miss Brown also insisted on checking their own ship personally, and had promptly disappeared. There was only one thing to do. He called Cratt Central for advice, offered a prayer to Smald, and dreamt of a nice holiday back on Beurate.

'So come on. Stop being so smug, and tell me how you did it.' Peri demanded.

'Simple really.' the Doctor replied. 'It was designed to resist any explosive or corrosive, any weapon space could throw against it. No one ever waterproofed it.' He did not bother to deny he was feeling smug.

'But what I still don't understand is how anyone could put someone like The Commander in charge of a large operation like that!' Peri was in full flow again the Doctor reflected thoughtfully. 'I mean why give command to someone who is unable to cope in an emergency?'

'Peri,' the Doctor sighed, 'they're all like that though. They're just a bunch of Smald minded Beurate Cratts!'