a/n: This is my first fanfiction so I'm am sorry if it is not very good, but i wanted to give it a try. Anyway, it is a South of Nowhere fanfiction and I do not own any of the characters. Let me know what you think!

A single tear ran down my cheek as I looked down into the coffin at the only person I had ever been in love with. Another tear followed it as I thought about how much she had changed my life, how much better she had made it. I smiled as I remembered all the good times we had together. And I began to sob at the thought of never having anymore. I was alone now, the last one left saying goodbye. I just couldn't leave because once I did; I knew I could never see her beautiful face again. Maybe in pictures, but that couldn't come close to the real thing.

After about an hour my mother came back in and told me we had to leave and that I was taking a ridiculous amount of time to pay my last respects. It almost made me laugh to think that my mother still hated Ashley, even though she was dead. I placed one last kiss on her cold lips and touched her cheek for the last time before my mother dragged me out of the church.

The car ride home was deadly silent as no one was quite sure what to say to me. After all, what do you say to someone who has lost the love of their life? Clay hugged me and tried to tell me it would be okay, but I wasn't sure if I would even be able to make it through the rest of the day. In fact, I don't know how I made it through the two days since she passed away.

I remember the phone call with Kyla:

"Spencer its Kyla. I am so sorry, but I have some bad news. Ashley is in the hospital. She was in an accident."

"Oh my gosh. Is she okay?"

"She's in a coma and the doctors don't know if she is going to make it."

I had rushed to the hospital as soon as I could, still in shock of it all. I never expected anything bad to ever happen to Ashley. I sat with her for the whole night, praying that she would wake up. Ashley was a fighter; everyone knew that, and I knew she would pull through. I can't even count the number of times I told her that I loved her that night. But the next morning, she stopped breathing. At first, I was angry with her for leaving me all alone and I remember pounding the bed and screaming: "How could you do this to me?" Aiden arrived a few minutes into my fit and held me in his arms as I cried for hours. He drove me home and somehow I made it to the funeral today.

My dad pulled the car into the driveway and turned off the ignition. Mom, Glen, and Clay went into the house quietly leaving my dad to help me out of the car and to the living room. I could barely walk on my own and had to lean on him for support. A few minutes after I got settled on the couch, the phone rang. It was only a few feet from where I was sitting, but Clay got up and walked across the room to answer it. It turned out to be Kyla who wanted some company. Clay told her that I would be right over and Glen drove me to her house; Ashley's house.

I knocked on the door and when I got inside it seemed so big and empty. I guess Ashley's spirit had always filled the space. Kyla and I sat on Ashley's bed and cried in each other's arms. Eventually, we wore ourselves out and fell asleep.

I woke up a few hours later alone and automatically called out Ashley's name. She didn't answer me so I figured she was in the kitchen getting something to eat, but she wasn't there either. I bumped into Kyla in the hallway and asked her where Ashley was. She sat me down and quietly reminded me that Ashley was gone. "She can't be," I shouted and continued calling out her name. I was in denial and despite Kyla's desperate attempts to convince me, I just couldn't believe her. Ashley, my Ashley, was not dead I could still feel her arms around me from the last time we hugged. I could still feel her soft lips on mine from the last time we kissed. Then, the image of her cold lifeless body lying in the coffin flashed before my eyes and I was slapped in the face with reality. After another round of sobs with Kyla I knew I needed to get out of that house because every corner of it was filled with memories. Memories that I just couldn't handle.

Aiden came and picked me up; he always was a good friend. I got into his car and he smiled at me, but when I looked into his eyes, I didn't see the Aiden I knew; I saw instead a sad, lost, heart broken one. I thought about it and realized that Aiden had probably been closer to Ashley than anyone else. Yes, I lost my love, but Aiden- he lost his love, his "sister", his best friend, his everything. Suddenly, I felt horrible for not even asking him how he was doing or bothering to talk to him about what was going through his mind. Yet, at the same time, I couldn't find the right words to say so we just drove.

We ended up at the beach and I had an urge to go to the special spot under the pier that Ashley and I shared. I wondered if Ashley would mind it if I brought Aiden there. I decided she wouldn't, grabbed his hand, pulled him there and waited for him to plop down in the sand next to me. We sighed in unison and stared into the ocean. It felt so lonely without Ashley next to us. Quietly, Aiden spoke, "So, what are you doing this weekend?" Instantly, I flashed back to the day at school when I was still unsure about liking girls and Aiden had asked me out. He continued repeating the scene, "You and Ash don't have some wet and wild plans to conquer West Hollywood?"

A tear rolled down my cheek as I said my line, "Not yet. Maybe I'm waiting for a better offer." I closed my eyes and quietly mumbled something new, "Or maybe, I will be visiting the grave of my best friend."

Without looking at me, Aiden asked, "Can I come?"

"Yes," I told him. Now it is final, I really have to go and see her grave. I really have to go and accept the fact that she is never coming back. I really have to say goodbye and let go…