A/N: I know that people probably don't read Fushigi Yuugi fanfiction any more. But, I've been nursing this idea for too long. It needs to be tossed out there. If you want me to continue, please leave some feedback. I always appreciate a kind word (as do we all). Naturally, some things will be different from the manga and anime, since this is sort of AU. I hope this doesn't bother anyone too much.
Thank you for reading,
Fantom Black
Disclaimer: Not mine.
The House of Ardent Flame
Prologue
Time moves forward.
It has always been so.
No matter our pain, our sorrow, our grieving – it moves forward mercilessly, never stopping or looking back.
I guess, I thought that I should, too. I guess I believed that I could forget about everything that had happened to me. But in the end, I found that I had only been fooling myself.
So much time had passed since my strange adventures in within the realm of the Four Gods. So much time had passed since I had seen the faces of my friends and loved ones. I grew up – in body and mind. I went away to college, finished my education for the sake of my family, and tried to forget about the things that made me hurt inside. I tried to tell myself that I was no longer a child, that I couldn't continue to hold onto my foolish notions of a "happy ending".
But I failed. In the end, I learned that I was weak.
To try to talk about the years of my life after the battle of Suzaku and Seiryu would be impossible. Those days are blurred together in my memories. They are insignificant – a dry recollection of mistake after mistake. The only thing I can remember from that time is the pain. No matter how the haze of emotional agony dulled my senses, it never dulled that horrid pain. I remember sitting in my run-down apartment, clawing at my chest for hours on end. At such times, the fine line between reality and dreams was fine, indeed. I could have sworn that I heard voices, sometimes – calling me, encouraging me, trying to tell me that what I was going through was unhealthy. I knew that. Of course I did. But it didn't help.
So I did the only thing I could think of.
All those years ago, when "he" had made his vow to find me, I held on to the only evidence that our time together had been real. The book. The Universe of the Four Gods.
It was even more torn-up now than it had been the day Yui and I had found it in the library. I must have read it a thousand times. Pages of it were dog-eared. The cloth binding was frayed at the edges. In a way, it reminded me of myself. I, too, was frayed at the edges.
I smelled him in the rain.
I saw his shadow in the moonlight.
I felt his fingers in the wind.
It was never enough. The vow we'd shared was no longer enough to sustain me.
After a while, I couldn't take it. I made myself forget. And as time went by, I began to hate. I hated him with every fiber of my being. My dreams turned into nightmares. The pain got worse and worse. I was a living wound.
What choice did I have?
That is a biased question.
I could try to make excuses for myself. I could go on explaining the reasons for my actions for a thousand years to come. But none of it would matter. None of it would be significant in light of what I did. The challenge now is to forgive myself. I believe that I can try to start by telling you of the strange turns my life took at the end of its 25th year...
You have probably heard the legends of the Miko of Suzaku. Somewhere in a past life, that was me. I came into this world through the pages of a book. I was very young and foolish – young enough to be impressionable, and foolish enough to fall into the trap of love. Although I was warned repeatedly against it by fate and by others around me, I came to love one of my seven warriors. From the start, our relationship was doomed to failure, but we believed that we could change the world with the power of our feelings. That is the beauty of youth.
We fought Seiryu and his minions both in this world and in mine. Though we lost many dear to us, we defeated all the obstacles thrown in our path. Except one. Despite our strength and our determination, we could not break the barrier between worlds. My beloved warrior and I were separated for eternity. Though he vowed with his last breath to find me again in my own world, he never did. I never saw him again.
Consumed by bitterness and grief, I set out on a quest to rewrite history. I tore out pages, erased ancient ink, and rebuilt the Universe of the Four Gods as I thought it should have been made. Because I had crossed the border between love and hatred, I changed the events within the story to mirror my desires. I made it so that the boy and I had never met. I wrote a peaceful era for Konan; I composed entire paragraphs of events that I believed would make the universe within the book a place free of war and tragedy. But I forgot about balance. All things happen for a reason. All things happen with the balance of power in mind.
I couldn't have known. To me, that universe was one that I believed to never see again. Why should I have cared about anything other than my own pain?
Perhaps, it was this arrogance that earned me my punishment. Perhaps, it was my greed and lust for happiness that brought about my true enlightenment. Whatever was responsible, I am humbled.
I write this in the hopes that my life will not be forgotten. That after I am long gone, someone could be saved from repeating my mistakes.
This, my reader, is for you to learn from. Before listening and believing the legends, dig around and find the facts.
What you are about to read is the true story of the Universe of the Four Gods and the people that made it legend...
