Author's Note: This is my first time writing ANY of these characters, so feedback is definitely welcome.
Warnings: Cheesiness, a bit of angst, stupidity, mentions of boys doing things to other boys, etc.
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy XII or its characters/plot/anything. If I did, Balthier would be naked. Preferably with Vaan.
1. Introduction
When Balthier meets him, Vaan is gazing at the stone in the palace treasury like it's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen; it isn't until later that the teen starts looking at him the same way.
2. Love
Balthier knows Vaan holds no love for the Empire, so when the boy tells him of his feelings the sky pirate chuckles and kisses him, selfish enough not to correct him.
3. Light
"I think we missed one," Vaan says as the lights dim, but Balthier shoots and the Battery Mimic squeals. "…Or not."
4. Dark
Lowtown is grimy and dark, everything Balthier is not, but Vaan already knows that once the idea of an inn is presented, the pirate will follow him there anyway.
5. Rot
"What is that?" Balthier asks, holding his nose as Vaan offers him a strip of festering flesh from one of the zombies, grinning cheekily.
6. Break
As much as he hates Basch in that moment, Vaan can't help but feel a thrill of excitement as Fran sends the cage hurtling down into the darkness, and wonders if Balthier feels the same.
7. Heaven
"I sort of feel bad for the Espers. Imagine what it would be like to live in Heaven and not be able to go back," Vaan muses, and Balthier laughs. "And to be stuck with a desert thief for a master, too!"
8. Away
"I thought I told you to go away!" Vaan huffs, turning around to glare at an Ozmone Hare that has followed him all the way to Jahara, who only blinks at him before it starts to cast Cure.
9. Cut
It's only a small cut, but Balthier makes sure Vaan hears about it the whole time they're in Bhujerba until the boy finally yells "If you don't want your clothes to get damaged, don't stand so close when I'm swinging my sword!" and makes Penelo collapse into giggles at the slight innuendo.
10. Breathe
The heavy Mist in Raithwall's Tomb looks poisonous, he decides, and so Vaan tries to hold his breath before Balthier notices and smacks him upside the head.
11. Memory
Everything around him seems to bring up memories he'd rather forget, and so he goes with Vaan on some hunts, using his scathing tongue to give the boy something other than the Empire to complain about as they wander across Giza Plain.
12. Insanity
When Fran goes berserk on the Leviathan, Vaan thinks she's crazy, but when Balthier calmly abandons his restraints and continues on, he's fairly certain he knows who the truly insane one is.
13. Misfortune
It isn't every day that you're ganged up on by several Bangaa bounty hunters after watching your best friend get dragged off to prison, but as Vaan's friend, Penelo figures it comes with the territory.
14. Smile
Vaan isn't sure, but he sometimes catches Fran watching the two of them with a smile; when he catches Penelo leaning over to whisper something in her ear, he knows.
15. Silence
"Where's Vaan?" Ashe asks, and when Baltheir points to his knocked out form sprawled on the jungle floor, she shrugs and says "I thought he was being unusually quiet."
16. Spit
"Look Penelo, it's so cold out here your spit freezes!" Vaan says excitedly, and then "Oof!" as strong arms wrap around him, a suave voice murmuring "If that's true, then you and your distinct lack of suitable clothing are in need of my help."
17. Blood
The Blood Sword is red, sharp, dangerous, and Balthier gets a sick feeling in his stomach as he watches Vaan use it, the enemy's health being sapped away into an orphan from the desert.
18. Under
"We're not technically underground, are we? I mean, the Lhusu Mines are in Bhujerba, which is on an island that floats in the sky…"
19. Gray
If there's one thing Vaan has to learn to be a sky pirate, it's that there isn't just black and white; this war is not just the Archadian Empire vs. Dalmasca, and that everything with Balthier is more than it seems.
20. Fortitude
"It's not always about fighting; we need his help if we're going to survive down here," Balthier hisses as Vaan protests once again about Basch's presence; the teen then proceeds to kill their enemies with vigor, muttering about betrayal, and the pirate isn't sure who he's talking about.
21. War
The airships that scar the Ozmone Plain are unpleasant reminders of war, but that doesn't stop Vaan from looking at them with wide, eager eyes.
22. Mother
They aren't quite a dysfunctional family, but they love and bicker and laugh together like what Vaan thinks a family is; the only problem, Balthier reminds him, is that if their little group is a family the two of them are committing incest.
23. Distasteful
Ashe finds Vaan's choice of attire distasteful, especially when she catches Balthier licking his way around it.
24. Want
There's a growl of pure rage, a shove, and then suddenly kisses combined with teeth and panting and moaning, and Fran standing in the corner rolling her eyes and muttering "Humes."
25. Lurking
Vaan hides in the shadows like the thief he is, stealing kisses from the pirate he wishes to be.
26. Europe
Many of the travelers from Archades became victims to Vaan's thievery because they thought they were better than people of Dalmasca, but Balthier was the only victim who understood it (though Vaan still had to give his gil back).
27. Foreign
Basch isn't a son of Dalmasca like Vossler, but Vaan still catches him mourning his brother-in-arms and the king he couldn't save.
28. Sorrow
"The Viera are as cruel as they say we are," Vaan whispers sadly, watching Fran after they leave the Eruyt Village, and Balthier silently agrees as he pulls the boy closer.
29. Urban
The villages surrounding Rabanastre may not be sparkling cities filled with shops and noise, but they're peaceful, so Vaan stops by as much as he can, dragging Balthier through the sand with him.
30. Rain
When it's the Rains on Giza Plain, all six of them take a moment to listen to the soothing sound and get properly wet – and then Vaan excites a Storm Elemental and they're running for their lives yet again.
31. Flower
Every flower and vine in the Golmore Jungle is as dangerous as the Hellhounds and Malboros that live there, or so Vaan declares after a stray branch sends him sprawling onto the ground.
32. Night
Balthier loves going into his cabin on the Strahl at night and not getting any sleep, even more than Vaan loves the look on the sky pirate's face when he finds him there.
33. Wrath
The roar of the Elder Wyrm seems to shake the entire jungle, but Penelo thinks that nothing is scarier than Balthier after Vaan is thrown against a tree trunk and doesn't get back up.
34. Moon
A new moon means that there is no light but that of the campfire and Balthier is quick to take advantage of the darkness, slipping his hands to Vaan's hips and whispering in his ear, covering his mouth with his own when the teen's moans threaten to wake the others.
35. Walk
It's a long, wet, miserable walk through the Garamsythe Waterway, but Vaan knows the best way out and how to deal with the creatures within – just not how to deal with the sky pirate and his Viera partner.
36. Precious
"You shouldn't have taken Ashe's ring," Vaan muses, and Balthier simply replies "I need something valuable of hers to keep what's precious to me safe."
37. See
"I've never seen anything more beautiful," Vaan mutters as he runs his hands over the Strahl, and Balthier quietly whispers "Neither have I, but it is not she that I'm thinking of."
38. Abandoned
"I'm sorry," he whispers, hands clutching the gun on his lap, and Fran soothes him, saying "There's still enough time to go back" before ensuring they get there.
39. Dream
Basch never dreamed he would be rescued, never dreamed that any of this would happen, but he especially never dreamed that he would walk into control room of the Strahl and find Vaan dozing on Balthier's lap.
40. 4:29 PM
Vaan skids into Migelo's, panting, and the old Bangaa looks up and smiles "You're early, for once," and Balthier steps out of the shadows and says "He had good reason to be."
41. Citric Acid
Penelo has never understood Vaan's fascination with fruit, but when she notices the way Balthier stares as the juice drips down his chin, she thinks she understands a little bit better.
42. Still
"Don't. Move." Balthier hisses, pressing Vaan against the wall as two Imperial soldiers walk by, and Vaan mutters "Wouldn't dream of it."
43. Die
Vaan sways on his feet, the Doom spell that the Ixtab cast on him beginning to take effect, and Balthier rushes them out of the Henne Mines and towards the waiting chocobos without a second thought.
44. Two Roads
Balthier likes to think there are two roads he could have taken in his life, but he likes the one he's on now.
45. Two Guns
Vaan steps on the Strahl spinning a brand new gun, and while Penelo shrieks that it might be loaded and Ashe asks how much it cost, Balthier merely wonders how the orphan knew it was his birthday.
46. Drop
'It's a good thing this place doesn't have showers, because if Vaan dropped the soap…' Balthier pauses in his thoughts and leans back, watching the churl poke around. '…I suppose I would just have to show he's off limits.'
47. Dirt
"Vaan, I don't see how running about in the middle of a sandstorm and coming back covered in dirt with a few Potions and some gil is worth it… unless, of course, we're getting ripped to pieces by a monster and getting the dirt in our wounds, in which case we're doing the Empire a great service; I'm sure they'll send flowers to our funerals."
48. Young
Balthier is young, and Vaan is younger still, but Fran is fairly certain that someday the noise in the room next to hers won't be as loud or as frequent... if she's lucky.
49. Preservatives
"You know, Basch, you look really good for a guy who's been in a cage for the past two years…" Vaan begins, but is cut off as a zombie swings its sword past his nose, though he later looks between the zombie's still body and Basch and mutters "I wonder…"
50. Breaking the Rules
Fran is not amused when she finds Vaan's vest on the copilot's chair, nor is she amused when she finds the rest of his and Balthier's clothing scattered around the rest of the Strahl.
51. Sport
Balthier will never understand Vaan's insistence on racing chocobos against Basch whenever he gets a chance, though to be fair, Vaan doesn't quite understand why Balthier is always so smug when he wins.
52. Old
Fran is the oldest of them all, but Vaan would still rather talk to her than Ashe; Balthier is happy about this harmony between his partners, one his co-pilot and the other his lover, though he sometimes thinks they're conspiring against him.
53. Desecrate
When Vossler shoots Balthier and Fran dirty looks as they eagerly look around the Tomb of Raithwall, Vaan rolls his eyes and mutters "The guy's dead, it's not like he's using his treasure."
54. Tower
Vaan has never enjoyed fairytales that have princesses locked in towers – they're more for Penelo – but he will admit that he wouldn't mind being rescued by one dashing sky pirate.
55. Need
Balthier needs the sky and the freedom it offers, but he needs Vaan, too; the way the churl makes him forget and makes him feel is just as sweet as the wind and the clouds and the glitter of treasures he has yet to hold.
56. Biohazard
Vaan's hands shake as he fumbles with an Antidote, the writhing form of a Malboro behind him as Balthier holsters his gun and begins to heal them; Golmore Jungle, he reflects, was a bad idea.
57. Sacrificial
Vaan can almost hear Balthier say "The leading man sometimes has to make sacrifices for the supporting characters, and especially his love interest," and it makes him choke on his sobs.
58. Kick in the Head
The three Seeqs in the dungeon are beating him, battering his body as he slips in and out of consciousness, so when Vaan is dragged into the arena and Balthier jumps in to help him, it isn't a blow to his ego – it's just as bruised as his body.
59. No Way Out
There's a Demon Wall on one side and a wall on the other, but it is Vaan who unsheathes his sword and runs forward to make the first blow, determined not to give up and die without a fight now more than ever.
60. Desert
Estersand, Westersand, Sandseas… Balthier isn't fond of the desert, but he'll admit that it breeds beautiful creatures – especially the boy curled around him as he sleeps.
61. Fairy Tale
Sometimes Vaan wants to point out that Balthier isn't the leading man, because this isn't a fairy tale, but then he remembers that most fairy tales have happy endings.
62. Voodoo
"Basch, I'll thank you not to tell Vaan any more ghost stories just before bed; he hid garlic in the closet and now all of my clothes smell like some sort of anti-vampire armor."
63. Do Not Disturb
Penelo isn't stupid enough to go 'fetch' Balthier and Vaan in the morning, which is why one morning she lets Ashe storm down the hall and swing the door to Balthier's quarters open and smiles slightly when she hears the door slam again.
64. City
Fran doesn't enjoy the city, due to the constant staring, but Vaan provides as a decent enough distraction for her to spend some time out in the streets without getting too irritated.
65. Horrific
One badly aimed Fire spell was enough to send the entire party scrambling for Potions and casting Cure, the screams of pain echoing around the caves for an agonizingly long time afterwards.
66. Snow
"I would like snow a lot more if it wasn't cold," Vaan proclaims, and Balthier rolls his eyes and mutters "At least no thieves shoved some down your pants."
67. Drum
The clashing of swords, the sing of arrows, and the crack of gunfire make up the music they live to, staves and poles like a conductor's wand as their steps and blood tell the story.
68. Hero
Try as they might, none of them are heroes – most of them are selfish and only here by chance; they continue to fight, however, and that has to count for something.
69. Annoyance
As they journey, Balthier finds that his tolerance of Vaan grows while his tolerance of Ashe deteriorates; perhaps it is because Vaan has known loss and is still cheerful, while Ashe just reminds him of what he's left behind.
70. 67
"Engine power failing… 67 and falling… Vaan, if you're listening to this, don't do anything stupid; I love you, you idiot, so stay where you are… Fran, I hope the gods are listening."
71. Obsession
It's always nethicite this and nethicite that, the way it has been for his entire life, so the next time Ashe opens her mouth about the Dawn Shard Balthier grabs Vaan and proceeds to kiss him hungrily against the nearest flat surface.
72. Mislead
"What do you mean, you didn't buy a map?"
73. I. Can't.
"I. Can't." Balthier hisses, his grip on Vaan's arm almost bruising as he plunders his mouth again before whispering, "So you're just going to have to deal with me."
74. Confrontation
Penelo and Balthier are facing off down the hall, much to Vaan's surprise, at least until Basch leans over and whispers "She's giving him the 'I'm the best friend' speech", which makes Vaan glance at Fran and inch back into his room.
75. Mirror
Balthier is always checking his hair and his clothes in the mirror, making sure he fits the role of leading man, but Vaan has felt his gaze burn into his skin and knows it isn't the same.
76. Broken
Vaan is holding up what remains of his vest and staring at Balthier, who rubs the back of his neck with one hand and says "I may have gotten a bit carried away last night."
77. Testament
"There is nothing you can say that will convince me that you love me," Vaan growls, and so Balthier hands him his gun and directs it towards his own head before saying "Shoot."
78. Drink
Bhujerban Madhu is strong enough to fog your mind and erase your memories, but it doesn't quite get rid of the ache in his backside the next morning.
79. FUCK
"Vaan, you and Balthier get back here right now and tell Kytes that is NOT an acceptable word to shout in public!"
80. Words
Vaan doesn't always say things the way he would like to (the words twist themselves up in his mouth and come out jumbled and confused), but Balthier is another thing all together, because he takes his voice away.
81. Pen and Paper
Vaan can read, but his writing is horrible, so it's quite the pleasant surprise for Balthier when he receives a handwritten note – and not just because it holds a promise for things to come that night.
82. +
Calculations and numbers are something he's learned to deal with, working in Migelo's shop, but Vaan has never really appreciated math until Balthier points out that they're crucial to airship mechanics.
83. Heal
Not all wounds are easily cured with magick, but the lovers relish the marks they have left on each other, only dabbing Potions on them so that they aren't too noticeable.
84. Cold
Vaan has never been cold in the desert, so after Reks dies he flees there, looking at the stars and shaking because the desert isn't his haven anymore; it's his prison.
85. Sick
After most of the party spend the night throwing up in the sand, it was agreed that Ashe was not allowed to cook ever again, because "Princesses just aren't the domestic type."
86. Seeing Red
The barmaid in the Sandsea was flirting with Balthier as he waited for the drinks, and when Vaan saw it, he stalked across the room, spun the sky pirate around, and kissed him so fiercely that they ended up on the bar.
87. Hunger
When Vaan decided to complain about the lack of decent food on the Strahl, he was not expecting for Ashe to snap "What, are you pregnant?", nor for Balthier to grin wickedly at the idea.
88. Pain
It's like a hole has been ripped in his chest instead of the other way around, and all he can do is clutch a blood-soaked handkerchief and scream.
89. Through the Fire
They come out of the fight with Belias alive, and gain the Gigas as an Esper, though that doesn't stop Balthier from complaining about his ruined cuffs.
90. Triangle
"Every time we go into town, people look at us like we're some freaky love triangle; the sky pirate, the Viera, and the desert thief… I don't think Fran likes it very much."
91. Drown
Whether by quicksand or one of the sandseas, Vaan knew there was more than one way to drown in the desert, but not how to save someone when they told looked in his eyes and said "I'm sinking."
92. Rape
'It's funny,' Vaan thinks, 'the things you get used to when you're an orphan in a conquered empire.'
93. Iron
"There is nothing man-made that can hold me," Balthier boasts, and Fran laughs and says "Nothing but a hume-child from Dalmasca."
94. Soft
Penelo thanks every god she's ever heard of when Fran doesn't kill Vaan for asking if he could touch her ears.
95. Advertisement
If Larsa were the poster boy for the Empire, Vaan figures that maybe Archades wouldn't be so bad – but only if the product was half as good as the advertisement.
96. Storm
When Ashe starts treating them like actual people, it's like a tornado changing to gale-force winds; it's just how she is.
97. Safety
Basch doesn't trust many people because he's had too much experience with betrayal, but it's soon noticeable that he is protecting more than just the Princess Ashe, and it makes Penelo giggle and Balthier smirk – poor Larsa is quite oblivious.
98. Puzzle
Penelo doesn't have any more of an idea than Vaan as to how Balthier fits in his pants, but at least she doesn't drool when she's trying to figure it out – and really, would it kill Vaan to be more observant 'the morning after'?
99. Alone
Vaan doesn't like being alone, especially when the one he loves is with someone else.
100. Gone
"Farewell," Balthier bows, and Vaan gives a two-fingered salute as the two of them leap out the window to where Fran is waiting, pockets filled with treasure and adventure just around the next corner.