These heroes.

Hades scoffed at them and their nobility. It was sickening, and of course they always assumed he was the bad guy. That he, being the Lord of the Dead, wanted more death and carnage. Did no one with sense understand? The burdens of the souls pouring into his kingdom was heavy. Hades was bowed under the weight of so many. He was a king with too many subjects. He was a king without any royalty. He was a king without his queen.

Curse Demeter to Tartarus. Persephone wouldn't approve of that sentiment, but it was unfair to punish Hades by taking away the only one who gave him joy. It was not his fault that Demeter was too clingy.

Hades glared at the three demigods before him. He knew their plan. Poseidon thought to trick Zeus and the rest of Olympus by accusing Hades of stealing that stupid master bolt. His dear brother thought to pin the crime on him. He hated them all; after everything they had done to him, he would not have minded their annihilation, but he could not manage that. Besides, to rid the world of the gods and set himself as king meant that someone else would take the opportunity to rise... Hades felt the stirrings of evil. It was like light breezes of cool wind brushing over his skin. He knew well what was trapped beneath his domain. Should Hades' father rise, Hades would be the nearest one for him to destroy.

This was a distraction. Hades knew that. Poseidon was up to tricks, being as wily as a calm sea suddenly stormy. At least Hades didn't suffer from mood changes - he had that to his credit. Dead was dead. No one altered that.

These heroes, though... they too were predictable.

Hades knew they would come for the woman. They were all so attached to people. They believed family were those who shared your blood. Hades wondered what that was like sometimes: What it would be like to reside on Mount Olympus and to be close to his family. It was a futile image. The god of the underworld was confined to it. He could not leave except on specific days. Also, he detested his family, so there was that.

The only family he had was Persephone, and she was only his for half the year.

Even his children... Hades paused. Did he have any children left? He would have to check on that later, but for now, the boy named Percy Jackson stood insolently in front of him, eyeing him warily.

He remembered the first Perseus. He had tried to kill him. This one looked like it would be no different.

"You are brave to come here," Hades said. "After what you have done to me, very brave indeed. Or perhaps you are simply very foolish."

It was the latter, Hades decided. Surely Percy could not have expected a warm welcome from Hades? He wasn't good at the uncle thing.

But Hades knew Percy would come. The silly demigod loved his mother. How touching. Not really, but it served the god's purposes. What nonsense to risk your life for your mother and walk straight into the Hade's chambers when you knew perfectly well that the said god wished to annihilate you. Yes, Percy Jackson was definitely foolish.

He started to exude his aura. Hades had never experienced its effects on himself, but essentially he was suggesting Percy and his friends just die. It would be much less messy if they died without fanfare. Hades didn't have the amount of janitors he needed. He wished he could hire more, and wondered if he should pay for a commercial slot on Hephaestus TV.

Percy's friends looked nervous, but Hades focused on the other boy. Actually, boy wasn't an appropriate word for him; he was a satyr. One of those goats. Interesting; he hadn't seen one of them in a few thousand years. They didn't like to venture into his domain. Hades had been about simply blast them to smithereens, but the unusual presence of the satyr gave him a pause. What was his reason for being here?

Percy stepped forward. "Lord and Uncle, I come with two requests."

Hades fought the urge to roll his eyes. How rude of him. There were no preliminaries, no groveling before this Percy boy asked something of him. They didn't raise demigods like they used to. Hades leaned forward, and asked pointedly, "Only two requests? Arrogant child." He gets it from his mother, that little hellhound, Hades thought grumpily. "Speak, then. It amuses me not to strike you dead yet."

Hades admitted it would be equally amusing to strike them dead, but he was a little curious. Presumably, Percy was here for his mother, but Hades found it hard to believe that he could love his mother so. The satyr and the girl - he didn't know their motives. However, he could feel Percy straining to fight off his aura, and Hades was hovering between annoyance and grudging admiration for this.

Percy glanced at Persephone's empty throne. Hades throat constricted. He missed her.

"Look Hades," Percy said, like we were two buddys hashing out an escape plan from the Fields of Asphodel. Hades glared at him, and Percy said quickly, "Look, sir, there can't be a war among the gods. It would be... bad."

"Really bad," the goat added.

Hades could feel his anger, always so close to exploding when Persephone was gone, rising. Impudent fools. He was not one to be messed with. He was a god, not a puny mortal who could be tricked.

"Return Zeus' master bolt to me. Please, sir. Let me carry it to Mount Olympus."

Hades could barely believe it. He knew Percy was sassy, but this went beyond what he had ever encountered. He dared to continue his lie? In front of Hades?! The audacity stunned him. Poseidon really ought to teach his children that honesty is the best policy. It wouldn't have helped the three demigods here... but it would have warranted a far less painful death.

"You dare keep up this pretense, after what you have done?" he demanded.

Percy cocked his head dumbly. "Um... uncle," he began.

What did he just call me? Hades thought.

"You keep saying 'after what you've done.' What exactly have I done?"

Hades nearly rose from his seat. For the first time, he feared that if Percy could not be coerced into confessing, Hades would be blamed for the stolen master bolt. The Olympians would declare war on him, and Hades was understaffed as it was. His rage caused an earthquake to shake the earth. Persephone would feel it, he knew, and she would worry about him, but Hades wasn't done yet. He summoned soldiers and warriors from all periods, their skeletons clanking along in torn uniforms. He didn't even have it in the budget to outfit his undead army with new uniforms, let alone win a war. They lined the walls, preventing the escape of the three demigods.

Suddenly, Hades needed to rant. He yelled at his forced listeners to hear his problems with overpopulation. They couldn't seriously think Hades wanted a war. All he wanted was peace and quiet with Persephone. Lately, he didn't even have time to play with his dog. Cerberus had to work too, guarding the gates. Hades didn't need a bigger kingdom, no thank you. What he needed was a vacation to Majorca.

Stupid Percy Jackson. Hades knew the boy had stolen his helm of darkness and the master bolt. He could feel the latter; that kind of power was not easily disguised. "Open your pack!" Hades snarled, determined to force him into the truth.

Hades was satisfied to see the look of dread crossing over Percy's face. He had no choice to unzip his backpack and reveal the weapon the entire Olympus sought.

The girl looked stunned. "Percy, how-"

Foolish child. Betrayal is inevitable. Hades knew who her mother was; Athena had obviously not taught her anything about the true nature of the world.

Percy tried to say something about a mistake, but Hades had his eyes on the master bolt. "I know why you have come," he interrupted. "You came to barter for her."

He opened his palm and threw a golden ball of light. Where it hit, an image exploded into being: Sally Jackson.

Hades was not expecting the look of genuine pain on Percy's face. He felt his cold heart contract. But he would not allow mercy to ruin him; Percy should not have messed with him. Hades knew where to hit where it most hurt. As he forced the compassion out of him, Hades merely felt satisfied in his excellent bargaining chip.

He was no fool. He knew about the pearls. Poseidon thought to outsmart him, but perhaps his brother no longer cared for the woman named Sally Jackson, for he had only provided three pearls. That meant one of them had to stay behind.

Hades understood them now. He knew why Percy was here. It was not out of heroics at all. It was love. The other two... he reluctantly gave credit to the satyr for having enough courage to venture into the land of the dead, especially when he offered to stay behind. But it was also these feelings that ensured Hades' success. They would not be able to leave someone behind. They would not be able to let someone else take the sacrifice.

"I know what to do," Percy said.

Hades ignored the pain in his young face. He thought he heard Persephone whisper in his ear, "Why are you doing this?" But that was impossible. His wife was in the land of light, while he was stuck in the land of eternal darkness. Without her, why should he have morals? He had lived long enough to know that they gave him few benefits.

"Take these."

"But, Percy..."

Percy Jackson turned to his mother. "I'm sorry. I'll be back. I'll find a way."

No one had ever said that to Hades.

"Godling...?" Hades started, realizing what he was doing.

"I'm sorry, Uncle. I'll return it. Remember about Charon's pay raise."

"Don't defy me-" He couldn't leave, he couldn't.

"And it wouldn't hurt to play with Cerberus once in a while. He likes red rubber balls."

Hades knew that. The blue ones made him gassy.

The panic crept into his voice. "Percy Jackson, you will not-"

"Now, guys!"

As they threw down the pearls, Hades bellowed, "Sieze them!" His undead army rushed forward, but it was already too late. The three friends were gone, and Hades was alone among then souls again.

Thanks for reading! This was actually written for a competition hosted on Quotev. It was supposed to be sad, but honestly, it ended up kind of sassy. :D