Conversation with my older self
Disclaimers: Don't own Glee.
A/N: Set season 5. Kurt, Rachel and Santana are still roommates and there was no feud between them. They rearranged the loft to fit a third room for Santana. Kurt and Rachel stayed in NYADA and Santana is taking some classes as they work at the diner.
I found some unexpected inspiration and before I knew it, I ended up with this. I hope you'll like it...
It's gonna be a 2 chapter story.
Santana stirred as her alarm rang. She slowly opened her eyes but quickly shut them back as she felt a banging pain in her skull. She moaned as she turned around and hid her head under the pillow. She shouldn't have finished that awful wine with Rachel last night. Sure her friend had cooked an awesome dinner for her after her long day at the diner - not that she asked - and she was grateful for it but damn, Berry had bad taste in booze.
She was about to go back to sleep when Rachel barged in her room. "Good morning, sleepy head! You should get up or you're going to be late for your ballet class!"
"Go away, Berry!" The Latina growled.
The diva frowned. "What's wrong?"
"I have a headache and it's your fault." The tan girl answered, still not moving from under the cover.
"How is it my fault?!" The brunette exclaimed.
"Shhh, not so loud." The raven-haired girl commanded. "You chose the wine remember."
"And I told you not to finish it remember?" Rachel sat on the bed and slowly removed the pillow hiding her friend's face. "You said it would be shame to waste it." She smiled as Santana lamely glared at her.
"I'm still blaming you."
The diva rolled her eyes but chuckled. "You're such a baby. Wait here." She stood up and made her way toward the kitchen.
"Not planning on going anywhere." The Latina mumbled, slowly sitting up on the bed.
5 minutes later, Rachel was back with a glass of water and some pain killers. "Here, drink that." She brushed some hair away from Santana's face before handing the glass to her. "I'm going to make you some toast and coffee. You have to eat."
"Thanks." Santana said sleepily. "I'm gonna shower first."
"Okay." The brunette took the glass back. "I'll be in the kitchen if you need me." She smiled kindly before leaving the room.
Not long after, Santana was in the shower, getting ready for her class. She could hear Rachel singing in the kitchen and rolled her eyes. "God, I'm trying to get rid of this headache but of course she has to be all Elphaba-ish this early in the morning." She stopped the water and opened the shower curtain. She screamed when she saw a woman who looked just like her but slightly older, standing in front of her.
"It's 10AM!" The woman snorted. "I wouldn't call it early."
Santana stared opened mouth until she heard Rachel knock on the door.
"San? Santana, are you okay? What's wrong?" The diva asked worried.
The woman put her finger in front of her mouth to signal her to stay quiet. Santana frowned and opened her mouth to say something but the woman answered before her. "I'm fine, the water turned cold."
Santana looked wide eyed as the woman's voice sounded just like hers.
"Okay, sorry. I'm leaving for class, see you tonight." The diva announced before leaving the loft.
"Who the fuck are you?" Santana grabbed a towel and wrapped herself in it. She stepped out of the shower and stood in front of the woman.
"I'm you from the future, isn't it obvious?" Her older self answered. "God, I thought my younger self was smarter than that."
"No shit, Sherlock." Santana grabbed her underwear and put it on. "I can see that but what, hum, what kind of thing are you, and why are you here, in my bathroom?" She slipped into her jeans.
"I'm some kind of holographic projection thingy of myself. Britt and her hubby built a machine which allows me to project myself into the past when I'm standing in the loft in the future. I'm not really sure how it works but it doesn't matter." Her future self answered dismissively. "What matters is that I'm here to give you some advice."
"Britt and what? Who?" Santana stared at her older self who seemed annoyed so she continued. "You expect me to believe you? I mean, give me advice on what exactly? How to dress better when I'm 35? Is that what you call fashion in the future because you really need to get your eyes checked."
"Bitch I'm 30, thank you very much and shut it, I'm not here to talk about my fashion sense which is awesome by the way. That's haute couture!" Future her glared. "And I look just like you, it would be hard not to believe me."
Santana reached out but instead of touching the woman's arm, her hand went through it. She blinked a few times, staring at her hand before looking at the woman again. "I need to be sure, tell me something only I know. "
The Santana from the future took a minute to think and chuckled. "In 8th grade you masturbated a few times while thinking about your math teacher, Mrs Higgins. After that you were never able to make eye contact with her and since you felt guilty, you started dating this loser James, even though it lasted a week."
"Oh god, I didn't need to remember that…" Santana made a face and sighed. "Fine, let's say I believe you. What is it about my future then?" She crossed her arms sceptically. "You want to tell me I should stop working at the diner and start working on my dream or I'll end up wearing clothes from Target? Thank you but I'm already working on it, you could have saved yourself a trip."
"Dios mio," Her older self growled. "If it wasn't impacting me too I would leave you to your fate just because you're more obnoxious than I am."
Santana raised her eyebrow. "I thought I was you?"
"Well it looks like life tamed me a bit."
Santana snorted as she put on her shirt. "Wuss…"
"Oh my god, shut up and listen." Future her took a deep breath before continuing. "I'm here because of Rachel."
"I thought you were here for me, what does it has to do with her? Did something happen to her?" The younger Santana asked confused.
"She will meet someone soon and you'll regret not taking a chance on her forever." Her future self explained.
Santana looked at her before laughing uncontrollably. "Okay…" She took a deep breath to try to calm down. "You almost got me…" She opened the door and walked toward the living room. "Come out of your hiding place, hobbit, you got me. Ah ah ah, that was hilarious, now stop."
The older Santana followed her. "There is no one here. This is serious."
Santana opened the curtain of Rachel's room then Kurt's but she couldn't find her. "Come on, the prank's over Berry, where are you?" She searched around for some light or any device that could explain her 'older self's presence' but she couldn't find anything.
"Listen, I don't know how long I can stay so you need to listen to me." Future her insisted. "I…"
"No you listen, I don't know what's going on but Rachel's straight." Santana cut her off. "We're just friends and I'm pretty sure I'll end with Britt and Berry will crawl back to Finnocence eventually."
"And it's because you stuck to that idea that I'm here today."
Santana plopped herself on the couch and started massaging her temple. "I'm confused…"
The older Santana sighed. "You're going to pursue her but when she reciprocates, you'll get scared and leave."
"I don't get it." Santana stared at the ceiling. "Isn't she going to meet someone?"
"Yes and that's the start of everything. When Rachel is getting ready for her third date, you're going to get jealous and realise you like her more than just a friend. You'll fight that night and Rachel will realise she wants you too. You'll want to take it slow just to be sure because you don't want to get hurt but it will just do the opposite. Later, when she asks you to take a step forward, you're gonna freak out and that's when things will go downhill. You'll go back to your old habits of pushing people away and then you'll leave. You'll go back to the safety of Brittany, you'll ask her to marry you soon after getting back together. You'll divorce a year later because you'll realise your heart is with someone else." Her future self smiled sadly, her eyes misty. "You're still friends with Britt as you might have guessed but Rachel and you have never recovered. She went back to Finn because when you left, you just confirmed the thought he had put in her head that no one would ever love her like him. They are still engaged but she's busy with her career in New York and he's a small town boy who prefers living in Lima. After that you…"
"Am I on drugs?" Santana interrupted her. She pinched herself before closing her eyes. "I didn't smoke anything and the alcohol wore off since last night… Maybe it's the pills I took for my headache. That must be it, I must be hallucinating." She mused. "That would explain why I can't touch you, you're in my head." She opened her eyes and looked at the projection of herself. "But why would I come up with this? I've been spending too much time with Berry, that must be it."
The older Santana face palmed. "Do you hear yourself? God, you sound so dumb."
"Not as dumb as what I heard so far." Santana snapped. "I mean we're talking about Rachel here, high maintenance, obnoxious, loud Broadway diva Rachel Barbra Berry. We're friends and I even struggle with that sometimes when she's all hyper so I'm far from wanting to get my mack on with her."
"And yet to this day, she's the biggest regret of your life." Future her cleared her throat as if she wanted to hide her emotions. "You found success and you got what you wanted but you're still alone. She was the best thing that happened to you so you keep wondering what would have happened if you'd stay; if you hadn't let her go..."
"Then why are you here?" Santana exclaimed frustrated. "Go talk to your Rachel in whatever future/parallel universe you're coming from and fix your shit. Just leave me out of this craziness."
"I would if I could but it's not that simple, the damage is done." The older Santana answered sorrowfully. "And you should be aware that I'm already taking risks by telling you all that, it could change our future."
"Then let it go." Santana stood up. "Why are you doing this if it could mess everything up?"
"Because all this success is dull without Rachel by my side." Her future self confessed. "And I'm here because I should have realised it sooner. This is our chance to fix it."
Santana made a face. "God, the future really turned me into a wuss, that's gross."
"Oh please," The older Santana scoffed. "You've always been cheesy and romantic inside, you just hide it more than I bother to do nowadays."
Santana shook her head and started gathering her things. "So what? You woke up this morning and thought, 'what if I was projecting myself or whatever you want to call it in the past and warned my younger self so I can get laid and be happy in the future?'"
"That's not…" Future her stopped talking when she realised what her younger self was doing. "Where are you going?"
"I have class and I'm already late." Santana stated.
"You can't go, I'm not done." Her future self frowned.
"Well I am." Santana threw her bag on the couch and focused on her older self. "I'm not in love with Berry, okay? And right now, I feel like I don't even have a word to say in it just because a guru from the future shows up and tells me I'm supposed to date Rachel."
"I'm you, I know you've had the hots for Rachel for a while now but you pushed it down so deep that you think it'll disappear if you ignore it. Well news flash, it won't." The older Santana snapped. "I'm not here to force things, just to accelerate the pace and warn you not to fuck things up."
"Whatever, I don't care." Santana grabbed her bag and walked toward the door. "Rachel is just a friend and I know Britt will come back to me once she's done with her clown of a boyfriend."
"You're wrong." Future her replied.
"And you can go back to where you come from." Santana slammed the door behind her without looking back.
The older Santana sighed. "Maybe Quinn was right, I should have sent her to smack some sense into younger me. God, I was such a bitch back then." She smirked. "But I'm still one and I'm so not done with her."
The week that followed was uneventful, so much so that Santana was sure she had imagined the whole thing.
The Latina was in a good mood that morning and after a nice breakfast with Rachel, she decided to take a shower. She was almost done rinsing her body when she heard a voice.
"So how is it going?"
Santana jumped in surprise and snapped the curtain open to see her future self. "What the hell? I thought we were done!"
"Have you met me?" Future her chuckled. "Of course you have, you should know I don't give up that easily."
"I don't care, I don't want to date Rachel." Santana snapped. "Leave me alone!"
"So you weren't enjoying your time this morning while eating breakfast with her?" Her future self raised her eyebrow.
"Yes but as friends!" Santana cried then frowned as she realised something. "Wait, how do you know that? Are you spying on me?" She grabbed a towel and wrapped herself in it.
"Your memories are my memories, I'm you remember?" The older Santana answered almost condescendingly. "And yeah, I also arrived sooner than I expected so I watched you two from behind the curtain of your room and then I waited for Rachel to leave."
Santana stepped out of the shower and marched toward her bedroom. "Oh my god, I'm crazy."
"You're not, but you will be in a decade if you don't start fighting for what you want now." Future her affirmed as she followed her younger self.
"But I don't want her!" Santana grabbed her clothes and started to get dressed.
Her future self tilted her head to the side. "So you don't find her attractive, and sweet and funny in her own kind of way."
"Of course!" Santana exclaimed faster than she intended. Her older self smirked. "But not like that!" You could find a friend attractive without wanting to be with them. Sure the idea crossed her mind once or twice but it didn't mean anything.
"Yes like that and it's okay." Future her smiled.
"It's not!" Santana glared.
"Santana? Are you okay? Is someone with you?" Rachel suddenly called from the kitchen. "My class was cancelled so I thought I'd come home and watch a movie with you if you'd like but hum… If you have company I can just go to a café…"
Santana's eyes went wide. "Shit, she's here. What do we do now?" She whispered.
"Pretend you're on speaker and then go watch a movie with her. Enjoy your time." The older Santana grinned. "If you're lucky you might get some cuddles like last time."
Santana grabbed her pillow and threw it at her future self even though it went through her. "You suck, how many times do I…"
"San?" Rachel called again, closer this time.
"Yes, I'm here. I'm on the phone, gimme a sec." Santana answered quickly.
"Okay, I'll set up a movie." The diva replied joyfully.
"See? She came home to be with you." Her Future self said with a smirk.
"That doesn't mean anything, now go!" Santana left her room and walked toward the living room.
"Is everything okay?" The brunette asked as she sat on the couch, the remote in hand.
"Yeah, just… an annoying relative, so to speak." Santana stopped walking and looked behind her shoulder. Her older self winked at her. "Anyway, what are we watching?"
Rachel smiled. "Hairspray."
The Latina turned her attention back to the diva and frowned. "Seriously?"
"Come on, please." The diva pouted.
"Fine, whatever…" The tan girl looked toward her room again and her older self was still there with a weird smile on her face. Suddenly, she started to feel uncomfortable and decided to sit on the armchair instead of the couch.
Rachel frowned. "Why aren't you sitting with me, there's enough space?"
"I… huh… don't feel so good, maybe you should stay away just in case I have something." Santana lied.
The brunette frowned deeper. "Do you want something? I can make you some soup or go to the pharmacy."
"No it's okay, let's just enjoy the movie." Santana answered quickly, ignoring the feeling of her future self staring at her.
Another week went by without an incident and Santana was finally starting to feel comfortable around Rachel again. She had faked a cold all week to have some space but she knew it couldn't last long.
It was their monthly roommates night at the restaurant and Santana was the first to arrive since she was running errands in the neighbourhood. Rachel and Kurt were supposed to join her any minute now. After 5 minutes, Rachel showed up unaccompanied.
Santana frowned. "Where's lady lips?"
"Adam is sick so he stayed with him. There must be a virus going around because he has the same symptoms as you." Rachel explained, leaning to hug her friend before stepping away.
The Latina fake a smile, at least her excuse sounded more convincing now. "So it's just us?" Her hands were suddenly sweaty.
"Yes." The diva sat down and looked at her friend. "Is that a problem?"
"No, not at all…" The raven-haired girl cleared her throat. "Let's order then."
For the next 20 minutes, Santana listened absentmindedly Rachel's tale of her day. She was grateful for the girl's monologue because she could barely focus on the situation.
"Anyway, the highlight of my day was meeting this guy, Jonathan. He's really sweet and kind of cute. He offered to be my partner for our dance project."
"Hmm hmm, yeah." Santana answered as she played distractedly with her food.
"Yes, it's nice to make a new friend." The diva said excitedly.
"Hmmm…" The Latina suddenly stopped moving her fork as she realised what Rachel was talking about. "Wait, what?"
"What?" The brunette asked confused.
"You met a guy?!" A flash of memory from her conversation with her older self came back to Santana's mind. "Is it… possible? I mean…"
"Well thank you, Santana." Rachel replied offended. "I know you find me annoying sometimes but is it so hard to believe some people want to be my friend?"
The Latina frowned. "What? No! I was just thinking about something…"
"You know, Santana," The diva locked eyes with her. "If you have another place you'd rather be, you should have said so and I would have gone home."
"No! No," The tan girl said hastily as she noticed the hurt in the girl's eyes. Fuck, since when did she care? "It's just, it's not you. I have a lot on my mind lately and…."
"You don't owe me anything." The brunette shook her head and laughed bitterly. "You know, I really thought we were good friends. I thought that you came to care for me and I wasn't just your roommate. The past couple months I thought there was something…" She stopped herself as if she suddenly decided not to share what she wanted to say in the first place. "But for 2 weeks now it's like you can't even bear to be in the same room as me and I keep trying to figure out if I did something wrong but I can't come up with anything."
"I told you it's not you, it's me…" Santana insisted. Things were escalating quickly and she didn't know what to do. She didn't think Rachel would realise she was keeping her distance, at least not so fast.
"Then talk to me, I'm your friend." Rachel smiled encouragingly.
"It's no big deal, don't worry." The Latina tried to sound reassuring.
The diva sighed. "I want to believe you but your behaviour hasn't changed with Kurt so I'm really starting to think you have a problem with me."
"It's just in your head…" The tan girl was starting to panic at the turn of the events.
"I can be naïve but I'm not oblivious so, when you're ready to behave like an adult and tell me what's wrong, you know where to find me. Until then, I won't ask you to hang out with me since it makes you feel so uncomfortable." Rachel glanced at her phone and stood up.
Santana frowned. "Where are you going?"
"Kurt texted me and asked if I could bring them soup when I'm done. I think they'll enjoy my company more than you do so I'm just going to go."
Santana watched dumbfounded as Rachel left the restaurant. This was all her future self's fault, everything was going alright until she showed up with her nonsense.
Later that night, Santana was brushing her teeth. She had calmed down since the restaurant and she kept thinking about her older self's predictions. She looked at the bathroom ceiling and sighed. "Can you hear me?" She shook her head at how silly she sounded. "I don't know how this works but it's not funny, you were right about the guy Rachel would meet and now I'm freaking out! Not because I want Rachel but because you really know the future and I'm not crazy. Anyway, it doesn't matter because I think I screwed this up…"
She moved to the kitchen and checked the time. She guessed Rachel should be home soon. She seemed to hesitate before grabbing a mug and started boiling water. She might not want to date the girl but she didn't want to lose her friendship. She thought that if Rachel found a nice cup of tea when she got home, she'd know that she cared.
The next few days were tense but after reassuring Kurt that there was nothing wrong between Rachel and her, things slowly went back to normal. At least until Rachel brought her new friend Jonathan home a few times. Santana knew from the start she wasn't a fan of the guy. He was all over the diva and it made her want to barf. The man was ridiculous and she couldn't believe her older self felt threatened by him. On top of it, he was practically the same size as Rachel, it was like watching two hobbits do the rain dance.
Santana woke up first that morning and decided to make breakfast. Since Kurt was at Adam's, it was definitely less work. It wasn't because she felt bad for making Rachel sad, she was just bored and could use the distraction.
Rachel joined her 20 minutes later. "Mhh, it smells good." She grabbed a toast and looked at Santana. "What's the occasion?"
"What do you mean?" Santana pushed the bowl of fruit toward Rachel and grabbed her plate of bacon.
"You never cook breakfast; I'm always the one making it for you…" The diva glanced at her friend and then quickly looked away. She cleared her throat as a faint blush appeared on her cheek. "And Kurt, I mean, for me and you two…"
The Latina looked at her questioningly then shrugged. "Do I need a reason?"
Rachel seemed to study her before answering. "No, I guess not…"
Santana noticed the sadness on the girl's face but it quickly disappeared. "Eat, I promise there's no poison in it."
"Ah ah ah." The brunette deadpanned. She stayed silent for a while then spoke again. "So I'm seeing Jonathan tonight. I thought we could rehearse here but I wanted to ask you first…"
"Again?" The Latina raised her eyebrow. "You saw him every day this week…"
Rachel frowned. "So? We have a dance number to do."
"Yeah, that's not the only thing he wants to do if you ask me." Santana answered sarcastically.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"It means you should stop throwing yourself at the first guy that pays attention to you, it's pathetic." The tan girl snapped despite herself.
The diva gasped before recovering. "Why do you care, anyway?"
"I don't," The raven-haired girl answered. "I just think every time you bring a guy home he's worse than the one before."
"Well at least someone is paying attention to me unlike you." The brunette retorted.
The Latina crossed her arms. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing." Rachel shook her head. "I thought we were past this weird animosity you had toward me but I guess I was wrong." She grabbed her cup of tea. "I'm going to rehearse here tonight with Jon, whether you like it or not."
"Good, I won't be here because the last thing I want to see is your pathetic attempt at flirting." Santana snapped.
"Fine!" The diva marched toward her room.
"Fuck…" Santana sighed.
After putting everything away, the Latina decided she really needed a shower.
Santana turned the water off and grabbed a towel. She stepped out of the shower and approached the sink to check her reflection. She reached out and removed the fog on the mirror when she saw her older self. She shrieked and turned around. "You have to stop that!"
"You're not doing shit to fix the situation!" Future her said angrily.
"What?" Santana looked confused.
"He's gonna ask her on a date soon and what are you doing?" Her future self raised her hand in the air. "You're insulting her!"
"I didn't…"
"You did! I was there to see it." Her future self exclaimed. "You're lucky I can't touch anything because I wanted to throw something at your face so bad!"
"So what?" Santana crossed her arms.
"So you're doing the total opposite of what you're supposed to do." The older Santana pressed. "You're pushing her away when you should be getting closer."
Santana rolled her eyes. "I don't care, this dude is a douche!"
"Your jealousy is showing." Future her smirked.
"I'm not jealous!" Santana cried.
"You are." Her future self insisted.
"I'm fucking done with this." Santana shook her head, this situation was ridiculous. She couldn't believe she was talking to her future self about her so called love for Rachel. "What do you want?"
"Why is it so hard for you to realise your feelings?" The older Santana asked exasperate.
"Because I don't have feelings!"
Future her sighed. "You want to know how today went for me? Rachel was the one making me breakfast and instead of asking me if she could invite Jo fuck face over, she told me she was taking a break from rehearsing so we could have a movie night." She ran her hand through her hair. "You're already changing the future with your actions and not in a good way. You don't get it. You won't prevent it no matter what; you're just delaying the inevitable."
"Then do it, take over if you're so in love!" Santana threw her hands up in desperation.
"That's not how it works."
Santana growled and sat on the edge of the bathtub. "I still don't get why you can't do it in your time."
"Because I was a cunt!" The older Santana exclaimed exasperated.
"Wow…" Santana looked surprised by the outburst.
"I told her the most awful things I could come up with and then I left. I played dead for 6 months after that, ignoring her calls, her texts, her letters. And then I told Britt to call her and give her the news about our wedding. Brittany didn't know what happened between us back then so she wanted to invite her. I let Rachel think she was just a distraction until I was back with Britt…"
"Break ups can be ugly; it doesn't mean you're the devil." Santana tried to be supportive.
Her future self shook her head. "Brittany called her just before she had her call back for a role. Rachel couldn't focus after that and she fell during her dance number."
"What? Was she okay?" The more Santana knew, the more she was confused.
"She hurt her foot that day. I didn't know she had an audition but I'm still responsible. I thought that if I pushed her away hard enough, my feelings would disappear…" Future Santana took a shaky breathe. "Rachel never fully recovered and that's my fault."
Santana frowned. "But I thought she had her career."
"She does but she can't dance as much as she wants to which means she has to take other parts in plays. Broadway was her dream and…" Future her stopped herself as if she was holding back tears.
Santana stared at her older self sadly. It was weird to see herself so broken and at the same time, she didn't know what to do to help. "It's not like you pushed her or anything, she fell, it happens."
"I was hurting. I knew I was making a mistake and somehow I wanted her to hurt too for what she made me feel. She never came to the wedding and every time I tried to contact her after my divorce, she ignored me." She paused as if she was reliving it all in her mind. "Anyway, I saw her at a party last year, and she looked amazing, I thought, let's try to talk, maybe it's water under the bridge. You know Rachel, she's pretty forgiving."
"I'm guessing it didn't go well if you're here." Santana stood up from the bathtub.
"No." Her older self chuckled bitterly. "She said from the moment she met me, I had made her life a living hell. She couldn't believe she had feelings for me at some point, that it made her sick and that if I was unhappy now, it was just Karma."
"Damn," Santana exclaimed. "Berry always had a talent for repartee but she stepped up her game with the years."
"Yeah, I love that about her. She knows how to call me out on my shit and hold her ground." Her future self smiled.
"How did you end up coming back in time?" Santana applied some cream to her face and body as she listened.
"I got drunk, which wasn't new. I was drunk practically every night for the past 5 years. But after our encounter, I was a mess. I don't know how it happened but I ended up at Quinn's place in the middle of the night."
"We're still friends?" Santana questioned, happily surprised.
"Of course, you got closer with the years." The older Santana assured. "Anyway, she asked me what was wrong and that was when I came clean about everything. She offered her help and a year later she was showing me Britt's device and here I am…"
"Man… I don't know what to say."
"I can't keep showing up all the time because it looks like the more I tell you to do something, the more you do the opposite but..." Her future self stepped in front of her. "God… I'm you, so if I'm right here, almost begging you to believe me, it means shit's real. So please, take the time to think about your feelings and your relationship with Rachel since you moved in. Just spend time with her without wondering if it's too couple-ish."
"But she can be so annoying!" Santana whined.
A knock on the door interrupted them. "Santana, who are you talking to?" Rachel asked. "Are you on the phone again? Can you at least wait to be out of the bathroom to complain about me so I can shower? Like it or not the bathroom is an area we have to share."
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Santana shouted exasperated. She turned toward her future self and whispered. "I hope she didn't hear us. Now go, disappear, fly away, whatever."
"I'm leaving but please, think about what I said."
Santana rolled her eyes before moving toward the door and opening it. "What? I was done, can't you just wait two minutes or did your annoying behaviour make you constipated?"
Rachel glared at her. "I don't know what I've done to deserve such hostile behaviour from you but I'm tired of it." She pulled Santana out of the bathroom and slammed the door behind her.
Santana sighed. She needed to get out of the apartment for a couple days to clear her head and figure out what was happening.
The next day, after another fight with Rachel about how she should stop leaving her stuff lying around, Santana decided to pack her suitcase for the weekend and go visit Quinn.
She was at the grocery store, looking for a nice bottle of wine she could enjoy with her blonde friend when she received a call from Kurt. She answered. "What?"
"Well, hello to you too, Satan!" Kurt replied.
The Latina sighed. "I'm not in the mood, lady lips, what do you want?"
"Did you fail to inform me you were moving out?" The boy asked.
The tan girl frowned in confusion. "What?"
"Rachel called me in panic because she saw your suitcase and some boxes ready and since she said you two had a fight, I'm asking you if you were planning on moving out without telling us? I mean, I'm your friend, you could have given me the heads up…" Kurt explained.
"I'm not moving out, what are you talking about?" Santana insisted. "The boxes are there because Berry threw a tantrum about my stuff scattered all around the living room and since I'm going to Quinn's this weekend, I gathered everything up to keep her away from my shit."
"Oh…"
"Yes, oh. So if you guys are done with the unnecessary drama, maybe I could go back to my day." The Latina snapped.
"Yeah…." Kurt sighed. "Listen, I don't know what's wrong with you two lately but you need to fix this, I'm tired of all this bad energy in the loft."
"Why should I be the one fixing it?" Santana grabbed a bottle of wine and made her way toward the register, she wasn't in the mood for grocery shopping anymore.
"I don't care who's responsible, just fix it." The boy said before hanging up.
"You…" The tan girl growled. "What's up with everyone telling to fix everything, fuck, I'm not Rachel's keeper." She complained out loud.
An hour later, Santana was opening the door of the loft, ready to go all Lima Heights on Kurt for hanging up on her face. Instead of Kurt, she found Rachel in her room, unpacking one of her boxes. She frowned. "What the…" She removed her jacket and put her purse and groceries on the coffee table before marching toward her room. "And what exactly do you think you're doing?"
Rachel turned around and looked at her with sad eyes. "I…" She stopped. "I don't want you to move out, this is your apartment too."
"So you thought you'd unpack my stuff to make me stay?" Santana wanted to be mad at her for touching her stuff but she couldn't find it in her. The girl looked so upset and almost desperate to make her stay that it was kind of endearing. Wait. What?
"No but…" The diva sighed. "We're a team, the three of us promised each other to stick together to survive the New-York jungle. You can't just leave me… I mean us because we had a few fights…" Her voice cracked.
The Latina sighed. "Are you gonna cry?"
The brunette sniffled. "No…"
"Oh my god, you are." The tan girl shook her head. "You're ridiculous."
Rachel seemed hurt by the comment and opened her mouth to defend herself. "I…"
"Shut it," The raven-haired girl interrupted. "I don't mean it as an insult. Just sit down." She pushed the box away and sat on the bed with Rachel. "You guys need to stop assuming shit and create drama for nothing…"
"But…"
"Let me finish. I'm supposed to see Quinn this weekend, that's why I packed my suitcase." Santana explained. "The boxes are here because you talked my ear off about my stuff lying around and since I don't have a cabinet to put everything in it yet, this seemed the best option."
The diva looked at her through her eyelashes. "So you're not leaving?"
"You might be annoying but I like it here." The Latina assured. "We're this dysfunctional family or whatever. Besides, we made this lame pact and Santana Lopez doesn't break her promises."
Rachel smiled. "Can I hug you?"
Santana rolled her eyes. "Knock yourself out." She fell backward on the bed at the strength of Rachel's embrace. "Okay, okay, don't kill me though…" She patted the girl's back as she half lay on top of her. She tried to relax and hid how laboured her breath was from the proximity.
A few minutes later, Kurt opened the door of the loft and smiled at the view. "I take it you fixed things?"
Santana quickly pulled away and stood up. She had never been so happy to see him.
"Yes, like I always say, communication is the key." Rachel grinned happily.
"I got us some Thai food so if you girls are okay, we can have a movie night." Kurt announced.
The diva clapped excitedly. "What a wonderful idea!" She grabbed Santana's hand and dragged her toward the couch. Even after settling on the couch, Rachel didn't let go of her hand right away.
Santana stared at their linked hands as Rachel talked with Kurt. 'Shit, that's not good.' She thought as her heart lurched at the touch.
That night, Santana couldn't sleep. She kept wondering if her future self had messed with her head or if it was just her realising things. She had gone over everything that happened between her and Rachel for the past few months and she couldn't deny that without realising it, they had grown a lot closer. Rachel had always been affectionate but it was something different and the worst part was that she didn't mind, she had even reciprocate some affectionate gesture late at night when they were watching movies. She had never questioned it so far but now it was all she could think of.