A/N: Saiyuki belongs to Minekura. Kali is my OC. Enjoy! ^_^

"You can't be serious, Goku."

Gojyo watched in disbelief as the young man inhaled what must have been his sixteenth bowl of rice.

"What?"

"You're gonna make yourself sick eating at that kind of pace."

A few grains flew out of the boy's mouth as he spoke. "But it's so good! And we haven't eaten in so long!"

Gojyo raised a single, crimson eyebrow. "Fine. But you better not get carsick and barf all over the backseat, monkey, or you can hitchhike your ass the rest of the way."

"I would never do that! And quit calling me a monkey!" With a defiant dash of his chopsticks, Goku reached out and snatched one of the pot stickers from Gojyo's plate.

"Hey! Why you little thief! Give it back!"

"Or what?"

"Listen, you damn chimp, you've got three seconds before I have you wearing that noodle bowl, complete with soy sauce. Three—"

"Yeah, right."

"—Two—"

"I'd like to see you try, you stupid water sprite!"

"One."

The redhead lunged for Goku. In one swift move, he grabbed the nearby noodle bowl with one hand and seized the boy by the hair with the other. Just before he could connect the two, there was a heavy, metallic bang and the instant smell of gunpowder.

Gojyo balked at the sound and Goku let out a startled cry as several more bullets flew past his nose.

Hakkai winced as the blonde priest next to him unloaded three rounds. Despite the chaos being unleashed around him, there was a hot cup of sake in his hand and a friendly smile on his face that never seemed to fade. "Uh, Sanzo, I thought we agreed not to open fire while in public restaurants."

"What are you talking about?" came the lazy drawl from Sanzo. "My finger slipped." The priest took a long drag on his cigarette and leaned back, apparently finished with his meal.

"Sanzo…" Goku whimpered, golden eyes staring wide at the holes left in the wall from the gunshots. "Those were really close. I think you got a piece of my hair that time."

"No shit."

Hakkai smiled and took another sip of his sake. He felt somewhat sorry for the rest of the people in the restaurant that were now either asking to leave or staring at the group of four men with wide-eyed expressions. Under no circumstances should this mayhem of cursing and gunfire and flowing booze have been the norm for anybody. But without it, Hakkai thought, the day probably wouldn't feel complete.

"Huh? What is it Gojyo?" Hakkai noticed his friend's attention was completely focused on something outside. He followed the redhead's gaze through the window and out into the village street. It wasn't hard to spot what had Gojyo so captivated.

"Oh. I should've known," Hakkai said, smiling at his friend's weakness.

Out on the street was a small group of travelers, distinguishable because of their ragged clothes and hardened faces. Some of them were crouched low to the ground with drums between their feet, beating an exotic rhythm that punctuated the air, distinctive enough to grab even Sanzo's distant attention.

Dancing in the middle of the drummers was the most beautiful woman any of them had seen in a long time. Her skin was a deep tan, with even darker freckles dotted across her nose and cheeks. Long, black hair hung in waves down to her hips, which moved with inhuman smoothness to accompany the cadence of the drums. Her long, white skirt adorned with silvery coins and chains had a slit that revealed most of her thigh when she moved. Her brassiere—for that's all it was—was mostly made of white coins again, with sparkling decorations hanging down over her stomach, designed to catch the light and draw the spectator's eye like fish to bait.

Between her enticing dance, dazzling two-piece dress, and skin the color of mocha, Hakkai had to agree with the soft whistle Gojyo gave.

"Now there's a woman," the redhead murmured, hypnotized by the dancer.

"Well, that is the idea," Hakkai said, taking another sip. "She's a gypsy, after all."

"Gypsy?"

"Look at her forearms," the young man pointed out. "Those henna designs are unique to the human nomads of this land. They're a hardy, resourceful people, but are also known for being thieves and vagrants. I'm sure that things have gotten a lot harder for them recently, what with the demons rampaging throughout Shangri-la."

Gojyo spared his friend a brief glance. "Where the heck do you learn all this stuff, Hakkai?"

"They used to frequent the village I grew up quite often."

"Lucky," the redhead muttered.

Sanzo kept his eye on the woman a while longer, not disliking the view she was providing. Oblivious to the conversation at hand, Goku was carefully sneaking Gojyo's food onto his own plate and devouring every last egg roll and pot sticker in sight.

"Well, she certainly can entertain," Gojyo said, a lecherous tone creeping into his voice. "What I'd give for a private performance."

The gypsy twirled and swayed with effortless grace, ebony mane flowing about her tanned shoulders as she accompanied the music. No, Gojyo thought, she was the music. The rhythm was in her dancing hips, the melody gliding through her long, decorated arms. How, he wondered, could anyone possibly not watch this?

"Goku," Hakkai smiled at the younger man's full cheeks. "Be sure to leave some for the rest of us, ok? And by the rest of us, I mean the townspeople."

"What the—hey!" Gojyo jumped at the empty plate in front of him. "You damn brat! I can't believe you ate all my food!"

Goku started to hold up his chopsticks in defense. "It's your own fault! If you were really hungry, you should've eaten when it was put in front of you, dumbass!"

Hakkai softly chuckled. "I think Gojyo might have an appetite for something else."

"Well at least I don't have fleas, ya dumb monkey!"

"What?" Goku screeched. "I don't have fleas! You take that back!"

"Or what? You're gonna poke me with your chopsticks? How primitive of you."

"No! But how 'bout I shove them up your—"

Whack! Whack!

Sanzo was suddenly towering over both of them, paper fan in hand and a murderous scowl that suggested someone's imminent death.

"Shut up or I will give you both something to scratch about for the rest of your lives!"

With a slight tilt of his head, Hakkai heard the gentle tinkling of small bells near the front door the restaurant. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw the gypsy walk through the door, surrounded by her four or five devious-looking comrades. She turned to the one holding a brown bundle and held out her hand expectantly.

"Aw, come on, Kali," the man growled. "This is so much more flattering on you."

"Yeah," another one agreed. "Don't be such a stick in the mud."

The woman looked unimpressed. "The deal was that I 'dance for dinner.' I did. Now hand it over."

The men chuckled a moment or two, then reluctantly gave her the bundle in exchange for the smaller one she had been holding behind her back. The tallest man in the group weighed the purse thoughtfully, listening to its contents jingle.

"Damn, Kali. You're a walking gold mine."

"Yeah, yeah," she said dryly, turning away. "Just be sure to leave enough for me to buy a drink."

"Ah, why bother? I'm sure you can get free drinks if you just give the bartender a lap dance."

The men roared with laughter and meandered over to the bar with the gypsy's purse in hand. Kali simply smiled and walked towards the back of the restaurant where the restrooms were located. Gojyo never missed a single step she took, enraptured by every chime of her anklet and sway of her silvery skirt, particularly the sequined part that hung low on her tanned hips.

She brushed by their table, glanced briefly at the four men surrounding it, and disappeared into the back.

Gojyo threw his arms behind his head and leaned back with a smirk on his face.

"Whaddya know? She's got green eyes. That officially makes her the perfect woman."

"Oh?" Hakkai looked over at his friend. "But you don't even know her."

"Trust me, I know everything I need to."

Sanzo inhaled deeply on his cigarette. When he exhaled the grey stream of smoke, he let out a deep growl,

"You're an idiot."

"Oh, bite me."

A few minutes later the gypsy reappeared, though her outfit had changed, much to Gojyo's disappointment. She had shed the white dress for a pair of brown harem pants and a white blouse that bared her shoulders and forearms. A chocolate-colored corset fit snugly around her torso and a rosy, silk sash was tied around her waist. She walked past the table again, barefooted, and made her way to the bar. As soon as she leaned herself against the counter and ordered a drink, Gojyo left the table with a roguish grin on his face.

"No way," Goku said, staring in disbelief as the older man walked away. "He actually abandoned his dinner." A second passed as he realized what this meant. "All right!"

"Sanzo, you think it wise to let him do this?" Hakkai asked, genuinely worried about what kind of mess could evolve out of Gojyo's attempt to woo a gypsy.

"As a matter of fact, I do," he said wryly. "It'll be good for him to have his ass kicked for once."

Hakkai frowned, curious as to what the monk was thinking. He looked over his shoulder, back towards the bar, where his friend approached the woman from behind.

"You know, I hate it when I see a beautiful woman get mixed up in the wrong crowd," Gojyo said smoothly. "You could do so much better than these dirt bags."

The nomads sprung to their feet, immediately forgetting their drinks as they surrounded Gojyo and cut him off from the gypsy. Despite their death glares and raised fists, the redhead regarded them coolly from behind a curtain of crimson hair.

"What did you say?"

"You son of a bitch! And what makes you think you're all high and mighty?"

"It's all right, Kuan-Yin."

Even though her voice was as serene as an untouched pond, the men started as though she had cracked a whip above their heads. Kali was facing them now, with one hand on her hip and a knowing grin bending her lips. "I can handle this one."

Gojyo grinned smugly while the men around him reluctantly retreated, sullen and mumbling. She was even more beautiful up close, where he could see the freckles spotted across her cheeks and the glittering light within her jade eyes.

"Impressive," he said, taking the seat next to her. "You have them all so well-trained."

"That was rude." The sharp edge in her tongue made him blink. "I would never say such things about your friends, so don't insult mine."

Gojyo raised an eyebrow. "You honestly think they're your friends?"

"Yes. I know they look and act like shady characters, but then again…so am I."

"How so, beautiful?"

She leaned in a little closer, tantalizing him. "You do know the prettiest flower is the most poisonous."

"And what's life without a little bit of risk? Trust me, sweetheart; a little bit of your venom is exactly what the doctor prescribed."

Kali shook her head and emptied the last of her drink. Gojyo noticed the orange-brown scrollwork on her arms and hands, most of which were intricate scrolls and patterns, but there was also a blossoming lotus underneath her arm. On her other, a vine climbed its way up from her middle finger to her elbow. It was, of course irresistible to Gojyo, who nimbly reached out and started trailing the designs with his finger.

"A lotus, huh?" he purred. "Not a very toxic plant, if you ask me. In fact, I think I heard somewhere that it stands for purity."

"It's a paradox," she said, allowing him to graze her skin a while longer. "We gypsies are more known for our thieving talents, than our sense of virtue. But I just like the blossom."

"Thieving is right. I wonder how many men's hearts you've stolen with that dance routine of yours."

"Don't get used to it. I only did that because I lost a bet."

Gojyo blinked. "You gamble?"

"Perhaps."

He made sure she saw the impish grin on his face before he spoke again.

"Then tell ya what. How about we go back to my room and I can teach you a little card game or two? There's a certain kind of poker that I think you'd be a natural at."

Kali couldn't help herself. She flashed him a pretty little half-grin and studied his face for a moment, taking in the streamlined scars on his cheekbone and the handsome mane of crimson hair draping to his shoulders. Just when he began to feel uneasy beneath her gaze that suggested she knew too much, the gypsy looked away. Staring at her hands clutched around the empty glass, she said,

"You know, it'll take more than a pretty pair of eyes to tempt me."

Gojyo smirked. Pretty. And to think that all his life, he'd thought they were bloody and cursed. "Then what would, beautiful?"

"I suppose I might consider it if I had another drink."

Convinced of his victory, Gojyo flagged down the bartender, ignoring the dirty looks coming from her so-called 'friends.' No sooner had he placed his order for a set of beers, then a younger man practically pounced on his shoulders with all the energy of a hyperactive gibbon.

"Hey! Gojyo! Can you order me some ramen while you're at it? Oh! And another round of meat buns!"

Kali winced at the sound of Gojyo's fist connecting with the boy's head.

"For the love of God!" Gojyo growled, incessantly pummeling Goku's head into the restaurant floor with his boot. "Die! Just die and leave me alone for five minutes, you stupid monkey!"

"Hey."

"Like hell any of my money would pay for food for you!"

"Hey! Gojyo!"

The sharp voice reached his ears, though he didn't recognize it at first. Gojyo felt someone seize his bare upper arm, fingers pinching painfully into his skin.

"Cut it out," Kali said harshly, scolding him with a dangerous glare that was too gorgeous to be threatening. The redhead watched, jaw slackened, as she bent down to Goku and rested her hand on the top of his head.

"You've got to be shitting me," Gojyo muttered. "Don't worry about him. He's like a cockroach—you can't kill him."

"I think that role has already been filled," she said smoothly and spared him a teasing glance.

"Ow…" Goku started to sit up, rubbing his forehead. "Gojyo, you're such a jerk. All you had to do was say 'no.'"

"Yes," Kali said, "but then he wouldn't have had a chance to show off how tough he is." She smiled. "You ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Kali ruffled the top of his hair and they both stood. "Kali."

"I'm Goku."

"So how is it Goku, that you're unfortunate enough to know this guy?"

Gojyo closed his eyes, more than a little annoyed, and lit a cigarette. "Oh shut up."

"We're traveling west together," the golden-eyed boy explained. "All four of us." He motioned back to the table where Hakkai and Sanzo were sitting. Kali swept a brief glance over the two, intrigued by the smoking monk and the human-looking demon.

"West, huh? Well, I hate to tell you, but—"

"Hey, those are cool!" Kali started as Goku nearly pressed his nose to her hand, smiling at the henna patterns snaking up her arm. "Awesome! I don't think I've ever seen tattoos like these before!"

She chuckled. "Well, I'm sure we could always slap one on you, if you'd like."

"Yeah, Goku," Gojyo smirked, "I'm sure she could always draw a banana or somethin.'"

Much to Gojyo's delight, Kali laughed, but reassuringly placed her hand on the angry boy's shoulder as she did so.

A deep rumbling beneath their feet cut her laughter short. The thunder grew louder and a harsh wind breezed through the restaurant windows, sending napkins and dust flying through the air like a bad mix of confetti.

Gojyo closed one eye against the biting wind. "What the hell?"

Kali kept her eye on the windows that looked out into the street. Not a second later, a stampede of demons rampaged through the small road, madly snarling and shouting. Hundreds of grey faces streamed past in a blur, foamy saliva dribbling from their chins and blank, savage eyes rolling wildly in their sockets.

Goku summoned his staff and took a step forward, but Kali's calm voice made him stop.

"Wait."

He frowned up at her. "Huh?"

"They'll pass."

A few minutes later, the thunder faded into a distant rumble and the last of the demons disappeared in a cloud of dust.

"Well I'll be," Gojyo said. "Is there somethin' ya know that we don't, sweetheart?"

"What was with those demons?" Goku wondered, relaxed now that the riot was over. "It's like…they were possessed or something."

It hardly lasted a second, but Gojyo saw it; a grave, anxious look in Kali's eyes as she glanced at her gang of comrades. That same knowing stare she had used when looking at him.

She turned back to them, resting her elbow on the bar counter.

"Let's just say you guys may have a bit of a roadblock ahead of you."

A/N: Can I just say this story is turning out to be way too much fun xD