Asuma was dead.
There were no two ways about it.
And there was nothing you could do for Shikamaru.
Darling,
You're hiding in the closet once again,
Start smiling,
I know you're trying,
Real hard not to turn your head away
Pretty darling,
Face tomorrow, tomorrow is not yesterday,
Yesterday…
You sat on the bed, eyes closed, facing the ceiling. It was a quiet morning, a dull, grey dawn, with a hazy, cloud covered sun in the distance. The world was still asleep, the pearl grey dawn light filtering in through your open window. You knew where he was, and you knew he was awake. He knew you would go to him soon, but that's not why he waited. Waited outside the apartment, in the cemetery across the road. Waiting. Waiting for someone. But not you. With a sigh, and a determined smile, you rolled out of bed, and slipped three quarter length black shorts and an orange tank top with a hood on, you slipped out of the window. "Shikamaru." He stood facing the one grave, a lighter in one hand, his fist closed tightly over the cold metal. You walked in front of him, and smiled gently at him. "Hey. You'll miss breakfast." He hardly responded, as you held a hand out to him. With one look upwards, you grabbed his hand and dragged him away, smiling as much as you could at him over your shoulder.
Pretty please,
I know it's a drag…
Wipe your eyes and put up your head,
I wish you could be happy instead.
There's nothing else I can do,
But love you the best that I can…
Nothing you could do. Nothing to do, more like. You stared up at the sky, and sighed. Tonight was the Sakura festival. Again. One more year, one more celebration, and yet everything had changed. For better, or worse, you couldn't tell, but for most, it had changed for worse. Hopefully, not for good. "Shika, you coming to the Sakura festival?" He paused, before taking a bite of toast, his mother watching in interest as you interacted with him. He just closed his eyes. "Probably not. It's too much of a drag." You saddened inside; he normally said yes. He normally went with you. On the outside, you just kept up the pretense of a happy smile, before looking at your feet.
Darling,
I was there once a while ago,
I know…
That it's hard to be stuck with,
People that you love,
When nobody trusts.
You had felt that way before. Your teacher had died, too. Jiraiya had died, before Asuma. And yet, there was nothing you could do to help Shikamaru. Nothing at all. You sighed silently, thinking of ways to go about your problem. You just wanted him to be happy, and to live life to it's fullest. To enjoy your presence, to acknowledge you again. To open up again.
It was then you had an idea.
Pretty please,
I know it's a drag…
Wipe your eyes and put up your head,
I wish you could be happy instead.
There's nothing else I can do,
But love you the best that I can…
You stood in the corner of the field, the boy before you crying quietly. Again. "Shika…" You wanted him to come. Wanted him to enjoy it, with you and everyone else. Wanted him to have some fun, for once. He shook his head, facing away from you. But you could tell when he was crying or upset. Even the slightest worry and you would know. That's why he loved you. "Please come…" You said quietly, attempting to smile. "Hikari!" A loud voice and a hug from behind got you moving, stumbling forwards. Friends surrounded you, as Ino smiled at you from behind. "It's time to go. We'll bring Shikamaru." You smiled gratefully at her, and ran into the crowd before the boy before you had time to speak. Ino smiled at him, her and Choji both grabbing one of his arms and leading him away.
You're not the only one who's been through,
I've been there alone and now so are you,
I just want you to know, want you to know it's not your fault.
It's not your fault,
Your fault, your fault,
It's not your fault…
You stepped into the bright light, for a second blinded and nervous, before you looked down on the crowd. With a smile, you greeted them, your short purple kimono matching your light brown hair and golden eyes. "Hello everyone." You said, the response a couple of waves and shouts. You hated performing for people, and everyone knew this. That's what made today so special. You searched the crowd for your friends, one person in particular, and locked eyes with him. Everyone was there, surrounding him, supporting you. You smiled, and moved your eyes through the mass of people, many familiar faces greeting your own. Everyone knew why you were here tonight, everyone except him. You took a deep breath, holding the microphone loosely in your right hand. "I'm here to sing a song. A song…dedicated to someone." Ino flashed a grin at you, as you just kept a gentle smile. "They…they should know who they are." At this, Shikamaru looked up, his eyes going wide. You smiled encouragingly at everyone, before the lights dimmed.
"Darling,
You're hiding in the closet once again,
Start smiling,
I know you're trying,
Real hard not to turn your head away
Pretty darling,
Face tomorrow, tomorrow is not yesterday,
Yesterday…
Pretty please,
I know it's a drag…
Wipe your eyes and put up your head,
I wish you could be happy instead.
There's nothing else I can do,
But love you the best that I can…
Darling,
I was there once a while ago,
I know…
That it's hard to be stuck with,
People that you love,
When nobody trusts.
Pretty please,
I know it's a drag…
Wipe your eyes and put up your head,
I wish you could be happy instead.
There's nothing else I can do,
But love you the best that I can…
You're not the only one who's been through,
I've been there alone and now so are you,
I just want you to know, want you to know it's not your fault.
It's not your fault,
Your fault, your fault,
It's not your fault…
Pretty please,
I know it's a drag…
Wipe your eyes and put up your head,
I wish you could be happy instead.
There's nothing else I can do,
But love you the best that I can…
Darling,
You're hiding in the closet once again,
Start smiling…"
When the lights went up, it was quiet. The silence lingered, before cheers erupted around you. And this time, when you locked eyes with Shikamaru, you saw something else. Not the sadness of before, or the blank, miserable looks. Something else. For once, you had changed him, and maybe, you had helped him. You saw happiness, determination, and a lazy smile. A lazy, normal, smile. You couldn't help but smile back, small tears at the edge of your eyes. Shikamaru sighed, rubbing the back of his head slightly. "Geez. What a troublesome woman. I don't need you to tell me that." You grinned widely, for once not a forced grin as he spoke up, all eyes turning on him. He smiled up at you, and walked to the stage. You watched him come; flinging yourself towards him the moment he got there. He hugged you, a normal, warm hug. Like it had been before. Like it would always be. "I love you." You muttered, the words lost in his shirt. He smiled down at you, and kissed you softly, sweetly, and quickly. You never showed more affection then friends would in public, but everyone knew there was something more then that. And now, they all knew. You pulled back and buried your face in his chest, as he placed a hand on your head.
"You're troublesome, but I love you too."