Another messed up random story.
All characters © Trauma Center.
"Derek Stiles, will you please put down the candy bar and LISTEN!" Angie yelled, startling Derek.
"Okay, okay, calm down!" Derek said, picking up the candy bar he dropped.
Angie huffed. "You aren't supposed to be eating chocolate anyways. It's bad for you."
"No it isn't."
"Okay, so you aren't as stupid as you look."
"Why are you so mean to me?" Derek complained. "And you said my glasses made me look smart!"
"Derek, just shut up." Angie said. "Do your paperwork!"
Derek muttered something unintelligible and picked up his pen. He stared at the giant stacks of paper and his heart sank. He looked at his blue pen in his right hand. He looked at the Hershey's Dark Chocolate bar in his left hand.
On an impulse, he tore off the wrapper and took a bite of the dark chocolate.
Angie heard the sound. "Derek! What did I tell you?!"
Derek swallowed and felt a strange tingle run up his spine.
Angie must have noticed something strange, because she looked up. Her face turned white.
"Derek…" she said faintly. "Oh God…"
Derek jumped out of his chair and pulled a kung-fu position. "I'M A NINJA!" he shouted.
Angie covered her face. "This is NOT happening…"
Derek grabbed his surgical mask and tied it to his mouth. He magically turned his Caduceus uniform and his mask black. He ran out of his office.
Angie nearly started crying. "Why oh why does this stuff happen to me?!" She got up and inched outside.
The nurse looked around, confused. "Derek?"
No answer.
"Where did that idiot go?" she said. She caught Tyler Chase walking towards her.
"Angie!" Tyler greeted her. "Where's Derek?"
"I was just going to ask you that," she sighed. "Did you see him?"
The blonde surgeon scratched his head. "I don't—"
Angie caught a quick movement. "Dr. Chase, behind you!"
Derek dropped down out of nowhere behind Tyler. He landed in a super-ninja position.
Tyler spun around and shouted "WHOA!" as Derek procured a scalpel and a bottle of antibiotic gel out of nowhere.
"TYLER CHASE, I CHALLENGE YOU TO A NINJA DUEL!" Derek yelled, and lunged forward. Angie grabbed Tyler by the hair and yanked back, Derek's scalpel missing his face by a centimeter.
"Holy Jesus!" Tyler yelled. Derek threw a scalpel and a bottle of the gel at him. He caught the gel and ducked as the scalpel soared over his head. Angie shrieked and ducked.
"You were supposed to catch that!" Derek said angrily. "You're a terrible ninja!"
Tyler fumbled for the scalpel. "Derek, Sidney's gonna be really mad—"
"EN GARDE!" the other bespectacled surgeon shouted, and thrust his scalpel at Tyler, who parried out of fear.
Derek jumped up and disappeared. Tyler gulped and cowered. "Is it okay for me to be scared?"
"HI-YAHHH!" Derek shouted, and karate-chopped Tyler on the head.
"OW! HE HITS HARD!" Tyler yelled, holding his head. Waterfalls fell out of his eyes as he stumbled around in pain.
"BAM!" Derek shouted. His 'weapons' were gone. He thrust out his hand, like he does at the beginning of every operation, and yelled, "DJ STILES, BRINGING YOU YOUR FAVORITE TUNES FROM RADIO CADUCEUS, 98.6!!"
Derek randomly grabbed Tyler's scalpel. "FEAR MY HEALING TOUCH!"
He carved a perfect star on a wall. Then he carved in I aced pre-school art! Derek stood, grinning smugly. Then he turned and ran down the hallway so fast he was a blur. Then he ran back the other way. And back down again. Throughout the entire thing, he shouted "I BET YOU CAN'T RUN AS FAST AS ME!"
Victor Niguel came down the hallway carrying a few test tubes. Derek was running down the opposite way and tried to stop. He skidded across the hall and crashed into Victor, knocking the test tubes out of a very surprised Victor's hands. The tubes shattered to the floor and the acid started burning the tiles.
Derek stared at the shattered glass. Victor glared at him, black flames erupting out of his eyes.
"Um, sorry…" Derek said. "I'm really sorry, Victor, but I…ahh, I kinda have to go…" He inched back from the furious Victor, then turned and ran.
"YOU GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE, STILES!" Victor shouted, chasing him. "IF YOU DON'T COME BACK HERE RIGHT NOW I WILL GIVE YOU HELL!"
"I'M SORRY!!" Derek wailed, while sprinting as fast as he can. "I'LL PAY YOU!!"
"YOU'RE SO GOING TO PAY FOR THOSE ACID SAMPLES! THOSE TOOK DAYS TO GET!" Victor thundered.
"I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY!" Derek yelled back, apologizing. Suddenly, before Victor's eyes, a giant blue pentagram appeared. It glowed wickedly and blue flames burst from the lines.
Victor cursed. "DAMN YOUR HEALING TOUCH!" he swore as he felt time stop.
Derek looked back and saw a frozen Victor with an outraged expression.
"HAHA, I'M KAKASHI NOW!!!" Derek sang and did some super fast, random gestures with his hands. "WATCH THIS!" His hand erupted into crackling blue electricity. An EKG and a patient appeared out of thin air. The EKG blared, signaling cardiac arrest. Derek released the charge into the patient, and the EKG began beeping again, flashing a message: The patient is invincible for thirty minutes, this heart is so healthy…
"I have powers too, you know!" Derek said. "Victor's not the only one!"
Time resumed pace. Victor was so stunned that he didn't even chase Derek. There was a loud snap!
Derek stared blankly at everyone. He looked at his "ninja" outfit. Then he collapsed.
Everyone stared at the young surgeon sprawled on the floor. The EKG from earlier flashed a new message: Don't worry, he's fine.
Everyone stared at the EKG. The message changed again. Hey, I'm just doing my job. Ignore me. Then, there was a POOF and it disappeared.
Sidney Kasal stumbled into the hallway. "What is going on?" he demanded.
Everyone looked at the director. Angie coughed. "I think you're a little too late—it's over."
Derek sat up from the ground. He looked around, confused.
"Why am I on the ground?" he asked.
Angie strolled over and smacked his head.
"OW!" Derek cried, rubbing his head. "What did I do?!"
Angie stared. "You don't remember?"
"No! And don't hit me!" Derek added, whimpering.
Angie sighed. "Nothing happened. You need to finish your paperwork."
"Aww…" Derek groaned. Angie grabbed him by the arm and dragged him back to the office.
Sidney looked at Victor and Tyler.
"You don't want to know," Victor said, shaking his head.