A/N; This is my first story and I'm excited...yay me!...I usually read fanfiction and everyone that knows I do always asks me why dont I write one and I always reply with the same shrug of my shoulders and a non-commital "I don't know" but here I am...hopefully you all like it...please do...I'll try to update once a week or more. so here is my story called Blinding if you want to know why the story is called such just listen to the song Blinding by Florence and the Machine (fuckawesome band) this chapter was written after listening to this song on repeat and the story line came about after my best friend and I spoke about our fears of relationships, the worse case that you could be in and all that bull any hoooo enough with the babbling...and here we go...

p.s. Disclaimer; I dont know own Twilight... that belongs to the awesome Mormon chick.

p.p.s. Bella (26) Rose (28) and Jasper (28) are the Swan siblings

Edward (27) Alice (26) and Emmet (29) are the Cullen siblings

OCC but Canon Couples (or are they)

Summary; Isabella Cullen had the perfect life, a perfect husband, the perfect family, the perfect status. After being married for 5 years follow her journey of self discovery and meaning when her perfect life starts to crumble, all the while keeping a secret that she thought made her life harder, but turns out it's what made it the true definition of perfect.

Between Two Lungs

It was unbelievable feeling that I got when for the first time in my 26 years of life that I walked out of a medical building with great news.

I don't think the word 'great', expresses how happy I am at the moment.

How about tremendous?

Ecstatic?

Maybe i'd go as far as saying I was euphoric!

But the thing was, that today on the day of May 25th, 2006, I was walking out of this building feeling as if nothing could ever bring me down.

I have waited for this day for so long.

WE have waited for this day for so long.

I want to cry, I want to scream, I want to laugh, all at the same time, it was a dream come true.

As I walked down Park avenue, I recognized most of the buildings and in fact I knew many of the owners and the families that lived in them. Being as I grew up in New York City, born, raised, and bred on these very streets. Park Ave was my playground, or at least thats what my sister Rosalie calls it. But then again, she also dubbed Vegas, Monte Carlo and the South of France as her 'Playground' so maybe I need a new name?

Hmmm...let me think about a new name, I'm seriously coming up blank.

I stopped in the middle of the side walk, and luckly for me it was the middle of the afternoon, so I wouldn't be an inconvience for anyone, or trampled by the lovely people of New York City. (sarcasm noted)

Come on...I thought to my self, I mean I spent 7 years in school and I can't even come up with a stupid word to describe Park Ave.

I was so deep in thought that I didn't hear anyone coming up from behind me.

"Excuse me Miss?" a deep rusty yet smooth voice asked,..hmmm that seems like a double negative, doesn't it, rusty yet smooth, making me jump but also questioning what was going on with me today and on the plus side it brought me out of whatever trance naming Park Ave had me in.

"Yes, sorry, I didn't see you there" I turned to face a fairly attractive Native American man, he looked a little older than me at first glance but after further inspection and the bright smile that took over his face when I answered.

I was tempted to pull my Chanel shades from my head to my eyes, man he had a white ass smile and not the good type either.

I soon came to the conclusion that he was the same age if not younger than I am by a few years.

"Oh not a problem, I'm from outta town so I have no idea if it's the norm for someone to be standing in the middle of the side walk spaced out for 10 minutes" he laughed, and I immediately felt comforted by his laugh. Maybe he's not so bad, ultra violet smile put aside.

"Oh trust me in New York there's no such thing as 'the norm'" I said in a jokingly matter, I even went as far as using quotation marks.

He laughed then held out his hand to introduced himself.

"I'm Jacob, Jacob Black" he said

I held out my hand only to be encased in his giant ones and introduced myself.

"Isabella Cullen"

"Pleased to meet you Mrs. Cullen" he replied after taking what he thought was a quick a subtle look at my left hand.

"Please just Bella"

"Well 'just Bella'" he started jokingly making me let out a little giggle (what is up with me today I never giggle) he continued after our laughter died down "I was wondering if you could point me in the right direction to Rose Towers?"

"Well you just so happen to be in luck, because my good man I happen to live there"

"Really!" he enthused

I laughed

"Yes really...why?"

"I'm actually trying to find a place to live and I was hoping that I would have luck with this one, since it's the final place that realtors gave me, but she mentioned not to get my hopes up on this place since it's harder to get into than getting outta Fort Knox"

"Well I supposed it is, but tell you what since I like you and I think we could be friends I'm going to make some calls, I happen to know the owner" I winked and chuckled. No need to mention that the owner was my father Charles Swan, and the Towers were named after my sister Rosalie.

"Really?...your not just pulling my leg are ya?..cause this is really my last resort"

"Trust me, I'm in real good with the owners" I giggled again, earning a suspicious look from Jacob.

"Trust is not a word I use lightly especially in New York"

"Well just give me your information and I'll make sure to call you if anything comes up, you know what I'll even check other places that I find suitable"

"Oh my God, you are awesome"

"I know, I know" I exclaimed smugly.

"But you should still see if they have an opening, which I highly doubt, and I'll call you if anything pops up" I said this while checking my watch noticing that 20 minutes had passed by rather quickly while talking to this stranger, or semi-stranger, as he is now.

"Oh I guess you have to go now, huh. Well here take my number, and maybe if I'm lucky we'll be neighbors or at least live in the same building"

I laughed while taking his number.

"Lets keep it as lucky as being in the same building being as my husband and I have the whole floor to ourselves" I called out while I continued walking on.

I turned back in time just to see Jacob shaking with laughter and waved as I crossed to street.

I stopped again trying to remember the mission I was on, only to be reminded when a yellow cab honked the horn rather rudely while trying to turn onto the street I stopped in the middle of.

My hands immediately flew to my stomach. And then i remembered, why I couldn't wait to get home.

My hands were shaking, my knees felt weak enough to give in, but I wouldn't stop for anything, I wanted to get to him to tell him the news before anyone could interrupt my high. But Maybe...I thought as I walked past the Park Avenue farmers market, Maybe i could make it a little more special, instead of walking in the condo screaming at the top of my lungs that we had better get rid of that dumb ass game room he insisted on getting.

As I walked in the supermarket I waved at my usual bag boy, Tim, he waved back enthusiastically.

I walked through the isles searching for the appropriate meets, veggies and other necessary products for tonight, all the while skipping. I was done in about 30 minutes which was a huge feat for me, as I usually get distracted easily, or at least that's what my family tells me, but between you and me I dont believe them, or maybe i just fail to acknowledge it.

Whatever.

As soon as I approached Tim, he took notice of my unusual cheery mood but made no comment until he noticed the unusual produce to go with the more than chipper mood.

"Hmmm, I think I could guess whats going on" Tim stated in a sing song voice.

"I'm sure you could" I reply, not even trying to hide the fact that I felt I could fly out of the supermarket.

"I'm sure he's going to be ecstatic, in fact I saw Mr. Cullen not 45 minutes ago, he seemed to be in a rush after picking up some flowers and things"

Hmmm...I thought, thinking over what he just said, I could have sworn Edward told me he was working all day today. That was the excuse he gave me after all when I asked if he was able to come with me to my appointment.

I soon realized Tim was waiting for an answer in some form so I shrugged nonchalantly while trying not to think about the reasons why my husband 'forgot' to tell me that he was free while I went to my appointment. Edward knew how much this meant to me, I thought it meant just as much if not more to him, in fact he was the one who made a suggestion that started this 4 year trek.

"Well I'm sure he's at home waiting for you with as we speak, Mrs. Cullen" Tim responded after figuring out I was too deep in thought to even for a logical statement of response to his words.

"Tim how many times do i have to tell you to call me Bella" I said with an exasperated yet playful tone, I had regained some of my chipper mood from earlier.

"OK Mrs..." he paused after I gave him what Edward calls my 'kitten glare'..."I mean Bella" he continued

"Good"

Soon he was finished bagging my groceries and asking whether or not I need help taking my bags to my car. I politely declined after explaining that I walked.

"Are you sure you should be carrying this kind of load, I mean it is quite heavy"

"Tim, I assure you I can handle 20lbs of groceries for 1 block"

"I know you could normally but can you in your condition"

I rolled my eyes at his concern and grabbed the bags while walking out the store I called over my shoulder "I'm pregnant not crippled"

A/N; Should I continue?...Please Review! even if its with an idea or what you think is going to happen or what I should change...I'd be glad the hear it.