With grateful thanks to Devra for the beta. This story was originally published in Ancient's Gate Zines as a gift for JoaG on her birthday.
"Teal'c seems pretty quiet," Daniel said, his voice soft and rough. He walked beside Jack who was at the back of the pack watching their six. Sam, a few feet ahead of them, and Teal'c, on point, were far enough ahead that Daniel didn't think he could be overheard. "I'm kind of worried about him."
Jack looked at the straight back of the man setting a brisk pace. As far as he could tell, Teal'c was always quiet. He didn't think he'd heard Teal'c put together more than a few sentences in a row in the four years he'd been on the team. "You're kidding, right?'" Jack asked.
"Quieter than usual, I mean," Daniel answered. "He hasn't said more than two words to anyone all day long—ever since the ceremony. Even for Teal'c, that's... odd." He cleared his throat.
"He's tired. We're all tired," Jack said, looking pointedly at Daniel. "That's all." They'd stood for hours through long, elaborate, wordy ceremonies that had been enough to bore even Daniel. They'd repeated the ritual phrases, bowed at the appropriate places, and drank some vile ceremonial wine that even now left a distinct aftertaste.
"I don't think--"
"Daniel, you're imagining things."
Daniel looked at him skeptically but didn't say anything else. After a couple of minutes he moved back into position behind Carter and they continued in silence.
~~0~~
"Okay, campers, this looks like our deluxe accommodation for the evening. Let's let the desk clerk know we need two double rooms for the night." He rubbed his hands together and waited for the comeback from Teal'c who constantly needed Jack's humor explained. He didn't get a response. Teal'c dropped his pack without saying anything to any of them and proceeded to pull out the tent he would share with Carter. She noticed the silence and so did Daniel who looked pointedly at Jack before he began pulling out his own gear for the night.
Carter took charge of dinner heating up some MRE's, while Daniel started a fire. Once the coffee was on the flame, he pulled out his notebooks and supplies. Jack and Teal'c set up the tents with a minimum of fuss. Normally, Jack appreciated the fact that Teal'c was efficient and quiet, particularly after three days of lengthy negotiations, but Teal'c didn't respond to anything beyond the simple instructions needed to get the camp in order.
Carter and Daniel sat by the fire, waiting for the coffee to perk, without saying a word to each other. Normally, they'd be chatting about the mission they'd just completed or about whatever projects waited for them on the other side of the 'gate, or even about mundane things like vile tasting MREs or the weather. Tonight, however, Teal'c's reticence seemed to be affecting the whole team No one said anything.
Jack cleared his throat and tried to get a conversation going. "So, what did you think of the ceremonies this afternoon, Teal'c? That was quite the show they put on for us. I think every soldier in the country was there." Teal'c didn't answer. He stood, walked to his tent and started to unroll his sleeping bag. Jack wondered if he hadn't heard the question or if he was too preoccupied with something else to answer.
Or maybe he didn't want to talk to any of them.
He turned to look at Daniel sitting cross-legged by the fire, bent over a battered journal. "How's the throat, Daniel?"
"Fine," he said and caught Sam's grunt of disapproval. "Well, not too bad, really. A little scratchy. I'm glad my voice held out, though. I think it was important to our hosts."
"Even I didn't think you could talk that much," Jack said. "You went on and on and on for hours."
"I wasn't talking, Jack, I was translating. There's a difference," Daniel said. "And the language is quite beautiful. It reminds me of--" His voice broke and he brought a hand up to his throat.
"Put the coffee away, Carter, and get some tea made for the boy with the golden throat. I'll see if I've got some honey packed next to my spare ammo."
"Don't worry, sir, I've got it taken care of." She passed Daniel a steaming cup of tea and a packet of honey.
"You carry that stuff with you, Carter?"
"It's always been there, sir, along with the packets of sugar and salt."
"Really? I wonder what else is in there I don't know about."
The conversation continued with Daniel offering a few whispered words as he sipped his tea. Teal'c came back to the fire, took his meal when it was ready, ate, and cleaned up afterwards, all without saying a word.
"You know," Carter said, "I liked the ceremony this afternoon, even if it was long."
"Long? I haven't stood at attention that long since I was an academy cadet—and even then, it was a test of endurance."
"It was very... meaningful." She glared at her commanding officer waiting for an acerbic comment. He smiled and waved at her to continue. "They acknowledged everyone who gave of themselves for their country. It made me... proud, I guess, especially as someone from a military family." She paused again, this time looking at Daniel who put his hand over hers and nodded his encouragement. "I mean, it's not our country but I think it's a nice idea, and I was glad they asked us to participate." She squeezed Daniel's hand. "Even if it was kind of painful."
It had been an emotional experience for all of them, surprisingly so. The names of fallen comrades were spoken aloud, along with their rank and affiliation, before all the assembled.
"They call them 'shoulder companions'," Daniel said, "warriors who fight together. It's a Norse expression. I think these people might be another race like we found on Cimmeria--"
"Shoulder companions?" Jack asked.
"A shoulder companion is someone who fights shoulder to shoulder, or back to back, with you. It's where we get the expression, 'I've got your back.'"
"It's probably like us saying I'll watch your six," Carter added, before she asked a question of her own. "Why so many different uniforms, then, Daniel?" Carter asked. "I didn't think they had that many branches to their military."
Daniel started to answer but his voice gave out and he coughed, holding his hand to his throat to ease the pain. Sam poured him another cup of tea.
"They are representatives of armies from different tribes," Teal'c said. The voice, so long silent, startled them.
"Different armies, Teal'c?" Jack asked.
"Like many countries we have visited, this country has been at war with its neighbors. Each year, those countries with whom they are now allied meet to engage in this ceremony. It is a," he paused looking for the right word, "a bonding ceremony for warriors."
"A bonding ceremony?" Carter cleared her throat. "How do you know this, Teal'c?"
"Daniel Jackson informed me before the ceremony began."
"We came at the right time," Daniel croaked. "It's a ceremony they only do once a year. I guess it's like our Memorial Day or Veteran's Day at home."
Jack rummaged through his pack. "Here," he said, holding out two Aspirin, "take these—and stop talking."
Carter passed over the rest of the tea while Daniel tossed back the pills.
"You wait for chances like this, don't you," Daniel asked after he finished the tea, "to tell me to stop talking?"
"How often do I get the chance?" Jack grinned. "So stop already."
"So, Daniel," Carter said, "where does the ceremony come from? It looked to me like they--"
"Aht! Carter—no talking."
"Sorry, sir, I just wanted to know--"
"It is a ceremony to honor noble service." Teal'c said. "I was told that many gather to participate; especially warriors from countries with whom they have recently made peace. It is a way of acknowledging that both sides have suffered great loss. It is an honor for those chosen."
"Oh, well, that's good to know," Jack said. "I guess that means that we... we were honored too. Well, that's good." His voice petered out.
"Yes," Teal'c said, "we were honored."
Daniel nodded. "We couldn't have picked a better time to come, Jack," he whispered, "and you guys handled it perfectly."
"Hey, we're SG1; we're the best." Jack was about to continue when Teal'c broke in.
"DanielJackson did not participate."
"He was kind of busy doing some other things," Jack said, trying to keep the mood light.
"He was asked and he refused."
"They asked you to say something?" Jack saw the blush on Daniel's face.
"Yes, they asked," Daniel admitted, "but it would have been inappropriate for me to do more than I did."
"Inappropriate? Why?" Carter asked.
Daniel bowed his head. "I'm not a soldier, Sam. The ceremony was for people who had fought in their country's defense, not for someone like me."
"Then why did they ask you?" Jack wanted to know.
"As a courtesy, I imagine," Daniel said. "They had no way of knowing that I'm not military; that I'm just a scholar—a translator." Daniel waved his hands over his BDU's and smiled. "It's kind of hard to tell with the clothing we wear."
"You are a warrior, Daniel Jackson."
Teal'c's voice startled them again.
"You have fought for the people of Abydos and for the Tau'ri of Earth." For the first time since coming to the campfire, Teal'c looked at Daniel, intently—and angrily.
Daniel didn't know what to say. "Um, thank you, Teal'c, but I'm really not a warrior, even though I wear a...." He patted the sidearm and pulled his hand away as though it burned him.
"I have heard you turned a staff weapon on Ra and his Jaffa on Abydos."
"No, I just," Daniel stumbled over the words, "I mean, yes, I did but only because there wasn't anyone else. I... I had to or Ra was going to kill... but I'm not... I didn't...."
"Teal'c," Jack asked, "are you mad at Daniel for shooting the Jaffa?"
Teal'c turned to Jack in surprise. "I am not. I am merely acknowledging that Daniel Jackson is a warrior, and yet he chose not to participate in the ceremony with you, O'Neill, or you, Captain Carter... or with me."
"And because I turned it down, you think--"
"I do not think such a thing." Teal'c stook, turned from them, and walked away from the fire into the surrounding woods. His teammates stared after him.
"Somebody want to tell me what he hell's going on here?" Jack asked Carter and Daniel who stared at the spot where Teal'c had been. "And yes, Daniel, I know you warned me that Teal'c was too quiet."
"Is it something about the ceremony?" Carter asked.
All of them had participated in the ceremony, each naming someone they knew. Carter had named a classmate from the Academy who'd been shot down in Iraq. Jack had named Charlie Kawalsky, a man all four of them had known, however briefly. Teal'c had named a warrior from Chulak. Although no one on the team recognized the name, they could tell that Teal'c mourned his loss. Perhaps that's what was making him so silent this evening, a remembrance of all he'd left behind.
She looked over at Daniel. "What about the ceremony would upset him? He seemed fine while it was going on. Honored, like he said."
"I don't know, Sam," he whispered.
They set the watch and made ready for bed, waiting for Teal'c to return.
"Should someone go after him, sir?" Carter asked.
Jack fingered the button on the radio, knowing that Teal'c's absence was a violation of protocol at very least, no matter how peaceful the planet. "No. No, I think we should wait this one out. Daniel, you have first watch. Carter, you relieve him. I'll go next, and Teal'c can have the last watch—provided he's back. Yell... whisper loudly... if there's a problem." He headed for the tent after looking out into the woods for a moment longer. "And let me know when Teal'c gets back."
Carter watched her commanding officer enter the tent. She turned back to the fire. "I don't know, Daniel. Do you think this is a good idea? I don't mind going to look for Teal'c."
"I think Jack's right about this, Sam," Daniel said softly. "I think we need to let him be. For now."
~~0~~
Morning found Teal'c starting a fresh pot of coffee when Daniel came out to sit by the fire. Between the pain in his throat and his worry about Teal'c, he hadn't gotten much sleep.
Jack stood outside his tent, watching, and they could hear Sam stirring in her tent.
Daniel picked up his cup, twisting it in his hands. "I'm sorry if I offended you yesterday, Teal'c, by my participation—or lack of participation--in the ceremony. It wasn't intentional, I want you to know that."
"I am not offended for myself, DanielJackson."
Daniel looked up. "I'm not sure I know what that means, that you're not offended for yourself."
"The ceremony was to honor warriors and their fallen comrades--" Daniel nodded "--yet you were not allowed to speak."
"I am most definitely not a warrior, Teal'c," Daniel said. "Like I said last night, it's not that I wasn't allowed to speak, it wasn't appropriate that I speak at such a gathering."
Teal'c took the cup from Daniel's hand, poured a fresh cup of coffee, and handed it back. "You are, indeed, a warrior, Daniel Jackson. And you have lost many in the fight against Apothis." He looked squarely at Daniel.
Daniel wrapped both hands around the cup and took a slow sip without answering.
"You are a warrior of great cunning and skill."
"I'm a translator, a linguist... a scholar. I'm only a am a warrior by necessity," Daniel explained. His hand dropped, almost without thinking, to cover the sidearm strapped on his leg. "I don't want to be a warrior. And if things were different, I wouldn't be."
"It matters not whether you want to be a warrior," Teal'c insisted. "Many who fight, fight because they have no other choice. I am ashamed. When given the opportunity, I did not acknowledge that you deserved to speak of those you have lost." Teal'c bowed his head. "It was not until after the ceremony I realized my error. It is we who have dishonored you."
"I'm... flattered that you're upset on my behalf, but I didn't need to be included in the ceremony any more than I was. While I know which end of the gun the bullets go in, and I can and will shoot someone if I have to, I'm not a soldier, nor do I ever want to be one. You and Jack and Sam take up the slack for me," he waved at the two other members of the team who stood quietly outside the fire's circle, "and don't think for a minute I don't know that, but it still isn't enough to make me want to be a soldier. I mean no disrespect to you--to any of you--but frankly, I don't feel the loss. Thank you, Teal'c, but your anger is... unnecessary."
"It is I who feel the loss, DanielJackson."
"My power is in words not weapons. I would rather have a sore throat than calloused hands." He placed his cup on the log by the fire and stood, looking apologetically at Jack who came to stand beside him.
"I think what Teal'c is saying," Jack said, "is that you deserved the same honors that we were given. Like it or not, Daniel, you are a warrior." Jack held up his hand at the protest he could see forming. "Maybe not a soldier, but you are a warrior."
"I--" Daniel started and stopped, a look of sorrow crossing his face. "I suppose I am."
"How did it go again," Jack asked, "the words of the ceremony? Something about standing together--"
"I remember the words, Jack. I said them often enough." He pulled himself up to his full height and turned to face Teal'c who rose to his feet.
"I stand beside this man, my brother in war, my friend in peace, my enemy no longer.
"I am Daniel Jackson a..." he stumbled over the words for a moment before he took a deep breath and continued, "a warrior of Abydos and Earth.
"I honor those who have gone before me and remember those for whom I still fight, and with whom I fight.
"With all that I am... With all that I am...." His voice broke and he stopped.
"With all that I am," Teal'c continued, "and with all that I may become, I fight for freedom from oppression."
"With all that I am," Daniel said, his voice firm again, "and all that I may become, I fight for the those who cannot.
"For my goodfather, Kasuf, who grieves, and for Ska'ra, my brother, still lost; for Sha're, daughter, sister, and wife, beloved in memory, I stand here today.
"With all that I am, and all that I may become, I strive to make the world a better place, with these my brothers—and sisters," he added seeing Sam beside him "to fight by my side."
At the end of the recitation, Daniel found himself face to face with Teal'c. Jack stood at his right and Sam at his left, his shoulder companions in any battle. "I'm sorry, Teal'c. I didn't understand."
"Nor did I, DanielJackson."
"They're good words," Jack said after a moment's silence.
"They are," Teal'c agreed. "They are good words for all warriors."
Daniel looked at Sam who gave him a soft smile, and at Jack whose eyes reflected his own sorrow. He looked at Teal'c, the man who guarded his honor.
"Let's go home," he said.