Burden Shared: Sophie

Spoilers for Broken Peace and Fit For Duty. After I posted my first Burden Shared story, with Clark and Ed, I had some requests for the conversation with Sophie. This is the result of those requests. I may also later post my version of the team meeting at the end of the episode.

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Flashpoint or the characters. This story is shared for entertainment purposes only. But I want to thank the creators, writers and actors for bringing life to these stories.

/

Ed came awake slowly, soothed by the hand lightly caressing his scalp. The sensation sent shivers down his spine, the barely there touch giving him goosebumps. He snuggled closer to his wife, inhaling her unique scene. He could feel her smile as her lips touched the top of his head.

"Morning, handsome," she whispered.

He glanced toward the window and saw just the first touch of dawn peeking around the curtain's edge. It was early, but not so early that he felt the need for more sleep. In fact, he felt amazingly well rested. He smiled as he realized he'd slept through the night without a nightmare for the first time in months.

He raised up onto an elbow, leaning in the give his wife of nearly twenty years a deep kiss.

"Good Morning," he said when he finally pulled back.

"Sleep well?" she asked.

"Yeah, I did, actually."

"What time did you and Clark finally get to bed?"

"Around eleven, I guess," he replied, sitting up and leaning against the headboard, pulling Sophie against his chest. "I'm sorry I upset you last night."

She chuckled. "I should have known you knew I was on the stairs. I didn't want to interrupt. I knew you would talk to me eventually, but Clark really needed to know what's been going on with you."

"I should have talked to both of you a long time ago. It shouldn't have gone this far. I've been an idiot," he said, rubbing his up along her arm.

"I hope you don't expect me to disagree with you," she joked, pressing her lips against his bare chest.

He chuckled and tightened his hold. "No. We both know better than that." His tone turned serious again as he continued. "The night that I...killed...May Dalton... Babe, it's the first time in my career that I really felt conflicted about the job, about what I sometimes have to do. When SIU was doing the debrief and questioning my actions...I was almost praying that they wouldn't clear me. I didn't feel that I deserved absolution."

Sophie knew that Ed had been fighting some serious demons from the shooting that night on the roof of the York Hotel. He'd spoken to her about it briefly the day after it happened and a couple times since then, but never really spoke about the incident in detail. Most of what she'd learned, she read in the paper. And she, as well as anyone, knew that news reports weren't always the most objective and accurate.

And when she'd asked him how he was doing, he always replied with his default response of 'fine', which she knew was truly not the case this time. He'd been even more withdrawn than usual and for a longer period of time, so she'd known this one was bothering him more than he would admit. She hoped the fact that he'd opened up to Clark the night before meant he was ready to talk to her as well. In fact, she didn't plan to give him a choice.

"Tell me about that night," she pressed gently.

Ed ran his hand through her hair as he gathered his thoughts. "You know the basics. Estranged father trying to find his daughter on her eighteenth birthday. Mom and daughter had tried to hide from him, because he was abusive toward mom. But he kept finding them. This time, he brought a gun. He found mom in the kitchen of the hotel, where she worked. We met May when her boyfriend was kidnapped by dad, but he managed to get away from him. We took May with us to the hotel when we discovered that the father was on his way there. We needed as much information as we could get, so questioned her while we drove to the hotel."

"When you were talking to Clark, you said you found him in the kitchen, but he was able to get away with the wife," Sophie said.

"Yeah. Something started burning, he got away in the confusion, but we were able to corral him on the roof. Greg tried talking to him, but he wasn't listening. May begged to have the opportunity to help. We didn't realize she had gun." Ed shook his head, visualizing that night as he had hundreds of times since it happened. "I keep coming back to the ride over. She asked us our names and when we told her, she made us promise to keep her and her mother safe. And we were trying to do that. Her father wasn't listening to Greg, so the decision was made to bring her to the roof, to see if she could get through to him. And she did, briefly."

"What happened then?"

Ed adjusted the pillow behind his back before grasping her hand, and entwining their fingers. "The father had been ranting at mom, who was on the ground. He was waving a gun around. When May called out to him, he stopped and turned around. A few seconds later, he finally noticed the team surrounding him, all pointing weapons at him. He went ballistic, started yelling and waving the gun around again. Sam and I were ready if he pointed it directly at someone, but I guess that wasn't enough for May. She pulled a gun out of her purse and started toward him..."

He stopped talking, causing Sophie to look up at him. She noticed the clenched jaw as he stared at the wall opposite their bed. She knew he was back on that rooftop. She ran her hand across his chest, offering what little comfort she could without words, and felt him take a deep breath before he continued.

"I...I adjusted my focus on her. Greg and Jules were both yelling at her. I remember hearing Greg tell her to put down the gun or we might be forced to shoot her. I just kept thinking that I couldn't shoot her, I'd promised to keep her safe. She fired a shot, then another, at her father, but she missed. I... I know Greg didn't want to give the order to shoot...but... she finally grabbed the gun with her second hand, to steady the shot...Greg...God, Sof, I could hear the desperation in his voice." Ed's voice took on a bit of the same desperation.

"If she had just dropped the gun! I had so many thoughts racing through my head. Why did I make that promise? Why did she bring a gun? Why wouldn't she listen?!" She felt him shiver and she knew it wasn't due to being cold. His voice, when he continued, was barely a whisper. "Why did she make me shoot her?"

Sophie sat up and turned around to face her husband. Taking his face in both of her hands, she leaned forward to kiss him softly. She touched his forehead with hers. "Honey, please don't take any more guilt on yourself. This was not your fault." She pushed herself back, both hands on his chest. "You said it before. She forced you to shoot her. She took that responsibility on herself."

"She was just trying to protect her mom," Ed told her. "She didn't trust us to do it!"

"And that was her mistake," Sophie insisted. "She tried to take matters into her own hands rather than give your team the chance to end things peacefully. She wanted immediate results and was too impatient to let Greg do his job. Now, I understand that. She and her mom had been dealing with him and his abuse for a long time. I understand the fear she had that her mother would be hurt again. But she sounds like an intelligent girl. She had to know she'd make things worse by pulling a gun."

Ed slumped back against the headboard. "I don't think that even entered her mind. She saw her father waving a gun around and us trying to talk him down rather than take him down, but he just wasn't listening. Sam and I both had him in our sights, but she didn't know that. She didn't know that if he made any move to aim the gun at her mom, he would have been the one in the morgue."

"Tunnel vision," Sophie remarked.

Ed nodded and pulled her close again, settling her once more against his chest. "After...after she fell...I just felt numb. It was so surreal. Her father starting yelling at me...I yelled back, telling him that he was really the one who killed her. I remember Greg grabbing me and holding me back, so I must have lunged at her father. I was so angry...at him, at May...then I looked down and saw her mom kneeling beside her...and I just wanted to throw up. I felt like a murderer, Sof."

Sophie slipped her arms around his waist. "Eddie, she didn't give you a choice. You are not a murderer. You and the team did everything you could to resolve this peacefully." When he just looked at her questioningly, she went on. "I know you. And I know Greg. I'd be willing to bet that it was a last resort to even have her on that roof. Neither of you would have made that decision if you'd had an option. Am I wrong?"

"No, no you're right. The father just wasn't hearing Greg. He didn't even seem to notice we were there until May called out to him. She kept looking at us, telling us to do something. And when we didn't..."

"...she decided to do it herself," Sophie finished for him.

"Yeah. She had told us earlier that the police hadn't done a very good job of protecting them in the past. I guess she figured we weren't going to help her either."

"She was wrong about that."

Ed laid his cheek against the top of Sophie's head. "You know the worst part of all this?" Ed asked, not really expecting a reply. "A few weeks after the shooting, I got notice that her mom wanted a meeting. I was pissed. I figured she just wanted someone to yell at, ya know. Someone to blame. I felt like I was a target for all of her anger. And I knew I deserved it. I didn't want to meet with her, but I had no choice."

"What happened?"

She felt him take a shaky breath. "She told me...she forgave me," he whispered. "She said it was because that was what May would have done. What May would have wanted."

"And how did you respond to that?"

Eddie shook his head. "I didn't know how to respond. It was so...unexpected. I was braced for anger. I wouldn't have been surprised if she'd taken a swing or two at me. But that...I didn't know how to react. I didn't deserve her forgiveness. How could she forgive me for killing her daughter, her only child?" He closed his eyes. "I ran," he said, ashamed. "I ran out on her, left the room. I can't even remember what I said. I just remember thinking that I couldn't accept her forgiveness."

Sophie moved to straddle his lap, both hands flat against his chest. "You couldn't accept her forgiveness, because you still feel so guilty," she stated, seeing the pain that still lingered in his eyes. "I'm not sure that will ever completely go away. I hope it does. But you have to forgive yourself, Eddie. May made the decision to put herself in the line of fire. She had the opportunity to stop, to throw down the gun and to let the team handle it. She has to bear that responsibility. You, Edward Tucker Lane, did your job to the best of your ability, of that I have no doubt. No matter the outcome- You. Did. Your. Job."

Sophie's complete faith in him still left him in awe, even after all their years together. He placed his hands on her hips.

"Do you know how much I love you?" he asked.

Sophie smiled. "Actually, I think I do," she replied. "About as much as I love you. And I've never found a measurement that goes that high."

"Will you marry me?" Eddie teased.

"Yes. Over and over and over again. Anytime. Anyday. Anywhere," she whispered huskily as she leaned in close to taste his lips.

Eddie pulled her close, his hands sliding under the satiny tank top she'd worn to bed. He rolled her under him, his lips never leaving hers, as outside the window the sun finally crested the horizon.

THE END