A/N: This is a very short one shot in the form of a letter from Fitz to his mum. Set post 4x21 posting tonight before cannon comes along and changes this. This is a one shot but I have other letters planned out of people enjoy this. Thanks to everyone reading and expect a fluffy one shot in a few days to compensate for all the angst recently.

Dear Mum,

I know I asked you in my last letter to send grandma's ring but I won't be needing it anymore. Things have changed and I don't see a future where Jemma will ever say yes. This isn't just jitters, things have changed here, I've changed.

Once I send this letter I'm leaving the base, I don't know how long for but I'm going to find dad. Radcliffe said he wanted me to know something, recent events have made me realise I have to know what that is. You probably don't want to hear that but I needed you to know where I am, or well where I'm going to be.

I still love her, I always will. Please don't blame Jemma. This is all my fault. I did this to us so please don't blame Jemma. I know you two have your differences, but if you're going to blame anyone, blame me. I've hurt a lot of people and I'm so sorry. Please tell her that. If she asks you. She doesn't know I'm leaving. I can barely look at her let alone say anything. I tried to be a good man, I tried to be the man you wanted me to be, but I messed up. I really messed up mum.

If I find him, I'll make it right, I'll make all of this right. I swear I won't let you down again. I'm going to make all of this right for you and for Jemma. I won't let either of you get hurt anymore. Once I'm finished with him, I'll come see you, maybe even move back in with you for a while. If you can stand it that is. I wouldn't blame you if you can't forgive me. I'm sure Jemma will tell you everything if you want to know. I hurt people, that's all that matters.

I love you mum. I love you so much and I'm sorry. I'm really sorry that I can't tell you more but I can't have you looking at me like they all do. They hate me. I can't have you hating me too. I'll be there soon mum.

All my love,

Leo.