Fascination

Words: 3,279

Pairing: Gabriel Boutin/Nathan Byrn

Beta: None

Warnings: None

His companions chatted with each other, occasionally asking him for agreement on a topic or his opinions in a futile attempt to bring him into the conversation, but Gabriel couldn't fond it in himself to pay attention. He was being rude, he knew, but somehow he found he did not, at this very minute, care, and eventually his friends gave up and left him to it.

The boy sat across the cafeteria, an air of peaceful serenity surrounding him like a protective bubble in an environment far too loud and superfluous, and Gabriel wanted nothing more than to walk over right now and immerse himself in it, but he held himself back - the boy did not look as if he would enjoy the company.

He seemed lonely, a solitary figure, but he also seemed comfortable in his independence, as if he could truly see himself only when others were not there to distract him from it. He was real in a way Gabriel had never experienced before, and so achingly beautiful that he wanted to capture him like that, forever, and he was confused, because why did he feel like this? Why the sudden passion and deep affection for someone he had only ever seen like this, from afar, and even then only for the past few days?

He sighed. A part of him wanted to look away, but the rest of him couldn't, no matter how he tried. He wondered why he'd never noticed him before last Tuesday, but maybe he'd just always been such a part of the loud, colourful social interaction around him thrash he'd never had the space to notice.

He pondered on what the boy might be thinking, sitting alone in a dark corner of the room. He'd sat there every day so far, completely still and unapproached until the bell rang for lesson and he got up to leave.

His dark head was bowed, so you couldn't see his face, and at first glance it may have seemed as if the boy was asleep or crying, but when Gabriel looked again he realised with a start that the boy was drawing, a sketchpad on his lap and a rough piece of grey charcoal in his stained hand.

He wanted to ask the boy his name, ask him to look up at him so he could see his eyes, when suddenly, as if he'd read Gabriel's mind, the head lifted and he was staring into surprisingly honest and incredibly dark eyes. Gabriel imagined he could see a strange sort of innocence in them, an openness despite the walls this boy had clearly built around himself, and suddenly Gabriel craved for him, hurt for the pain and loneliness in the boy's entire demeanour.

He didn't look away.

Instead, his gaze travelled down the straight nose and onto full pink lips where it stopped for a while in a teasing fashion, before it strayed once more, down a pale throat to where the top button of his collar was open, showing the slightest sliver of a prominent collarbone.

He smiled softly, and looked up again to realise the other boy's mouth had fallen slightly open, cheeks dark with something resembling shyness and confusion and maybe - just maybe - want.

The boy frowned, closing his mouth and pressing his lips into a straight, thin line. He looked down, away to the side as if to pretend Gabriel wasn't staring at him so openly, but it clearly didn't work, because not even five seconds later he stood up, sketchbook clutched under one arm and a backpack slung over the opposite shoulder, and strolled straight out of the door without a backward glance.

And he would have followed, except for that one heart-wrenching moment where the boy has looked at him as if he was surprised that Gabriel had ever even seen him. As if he was so _used_ to being invisible to the rest of the world that the mere idea of being noticed was almost laughable. As if he didn't understand why someone like Gabriel would give any sort of positive attention to someone like him.

The thought hurt far more than it should have, and Gabriel felt oddly vulnerable in the face of the emotions a virtual stranger could induce in him.

He looked away yet again as the boy turned for the umpteenth time to glance behind himself suspiciously.

Gabriel moved again only when the other boy turned to walk again, only to realise he'd just stopped and turned to face him, glaring.

"What do you want?" the boy asked. He didn't look very happy, but Gabriel had a feeling he usually didn't.

He smiled amicably. "My name's Gabriel," he said, ignoring the question. "What's yours?"

The boy glared, obviously frustrated with him. He looked like a disgruntled kitten. Gabriel's smile widened at the comparison before he could stop it.

Those black eyes narrowed at him suspiciously, and he huffed. "I don't want to tell you," he stated, folding his arms across his chest.

"Please?"

"Why?" It was a quiet question, one filled with so much more than just the one question he seemed to be asking, but Gabriel chose not to acknowledge that.

"I like you," he replied, surprising even himself. He was not usually this straightforward, but something about this boy and his blunt attitude urged him to be as honest as he could. What was happening to him?

The boy scowled at him. "You don't even know me," he grumbled, and Gabriel had to hold himself back from kissing his mouth right there and then because fuck, he was adorable, and Gabriel so wanted to let him know, but he doubted the boy would appreciate the sentiment. And as his objective was to get friendly with him, that wasn't a good idea.

"Please?" he simply repeated himself, still affable much to the other's chagrin.

He huffed again, looking away. Then, as if ripping off a plaster, he breathed in hard and replied, fast, "Nathan."

Gabriel smiled, found he couldn't quite stop around this boy - around Nathan.

"Nice to meet you," he replied, voice soft. "Nathan," he added after a while.

Nathan scowled again, brushing away black hair from his eyes impatiently. "Leave me alone," he mumbled, and with that turned to leave.

Gabriel caught his wrist.

"Are you free?" he asked. Nathan glared.

"When? Why?"

"Anytime," he answered. "Tomorrow at lunch, even."

Nathan sighed loudly and yanked his arm out of Gabriel's grasp. He stared at him for a while, scowling, but Gabriel just smiled back.

He tutted. "Fine. Whatever," he muttered, and walked away.

Gabriel let him. Tomorrow, he had a chance to get to know this boy, and he intended to do exactly that.

He couldn't stop thinking about Nathan that night. It was strange, because this was far from the first time he'd fancied someone, but he'd never acted like _this_ before. No, he was always calm and charming. People chased him, not the other way around.

And it was just a crush. He didn't think he was in love, or some other such nonsense. He'd only met the boy yesterday, after all. That was way too fast. And yet...

And yet this person was special. He was already, so quickly, important to Gabriel in a way nobody really was anymore, and while it scared him a little, it excited him a lot more.

It was late by the time he calmed his heart enough to even attempt to sleep, and when he finally did fall unconscious, he dreamt of a sullen boy, who's mouth was set in a petulant scowl but who's dark eyes spoke of insecurity.

He didn't pay attention the entire day. Once again the company he kept was loud and talkative, and repeatedly attempted to bring him to the centre of attention, except he had no attention to spare. It had never bothered him before, but suddenly he just didn't care anymore for the newest gossip that ran through the circles.

He spent the entire day daydreaming and sighing, and didn't feel disgusted at the thought of how he was behaving much like a lovesick schoolgirl.

When lunchtime finally rolled past, he made a beeline for the cafeteria, hazel eyes sweeping over the large room. It was relatively empty, but in a minute it'd be crowded with hungry college students, and Gabriel wanted to leave before then.

He found Nathan sitting in the same corner as yesterday, sketchbook out. He seemed to be absolutely involved in drawing, but as soon as Gabriel drew close, he spoke.

"Hello," he mumbled, not turning or giving any other sign of acknowledgement.

"Hello," Gabriel replied. He stood, silent for a moment, but Nathan was clearly not very interested in any sort of conversation, so Gabriel took another step closer.

"What are you drawing?" He asked curiously, taking a seat opposite the other boy. Nathan looked up briefly, but his gaze returned to his sketch almost immediately.

"Birds."

Gabriel waited, but once again Nathan had nothing more to add. He nodded. "I see." He said. Usually such short answers would irritate him, but he couldn't find it in himself to get annoyed. Instead he stood up again, straightening his jacket.

"Well, let's go."

"What?" The boy looked up, frowning. He looked so cute, all confused, and Gabriel had to stifle a smile as he held out a hand.

"Let's go," he repeated. "You didn't think we'd be staying here, right?" he added teasingly.

Nathan scowled. "Where are we going then?"

"You'll see." Was all the answer he got, and Gabriel grabbed his hand as soon as he'd put his sketchbook away, pulling him out without any regard for the openly-staring students around them.

They didn't go far. It was a beautiful day, despite it being autumn, and there was a large enough park nearby that they could find themselves a relatively secluded spot. He didn't let go of Nathan's hand, and was pleased to notice that the other boy didn't seem interested in removing it either.

Instead they walked in companionable silence.

The place was mostly empty. There were a few mothers accompanied by small children far too young to go to school yet, and an old couple walking down the path slowly, hand in hand with their heads close together. Gabriel smiled as they passed him, and the elderly woman smiled back from where her head rested peacefully on her partner's shoulder, eyes twinkling happily. They continued walking in silence.

Eventually they reached the part of the park that contained the picnic tables, and sat down opposite each other. Only then did Gabriel speak.

"Did you bring lunch?"

Nathan looked wholly unimpressed. "Isn't it a little late to be asking me that?"

He smiled sheepishly. "Sorry," he muttered. "I kind of... forgot."

The other boy snorted. "Well, I did. Lucky for you." And saying so, he reached into his bag and pulled out a shop-brought sandwich and a canteen.

"I would've bought you something, you know." Gabriel grumbled. Nathan looked up, eyebrow raised, so he elaborated. "If you hadn't. There's a café right over there." He gestured somewhere to his left. "I wouldn't let you go hungry on a date I asked you on."

Nathan made a choking noise suddenly, and Gabriel looked over to see him staring, wide-eyed, straight at him.

"What?"

"What?" Gabriel repeated confusedly. Then, his words registered and he panicked. "I mean, not a date! Definitely not! I mean, if you want it to be it can but I didn't- I-"

Nathan just stared at him. Then shook his head as if to clear his mind of unwanted thoughts, and raised the canteen to his lips to take a slow sip.

Gabriel stared at him, silent. When he put it back down, Nathan sighed and started removing his sandwich from its wrapping. "I'm not going to run away, or something," he said quietly.

Gabriel just looked on, silent. Nathan shook his hair out of his face impatiently an frowned. "I mean," he continued, "you said so yourself. You said 'I like you' to me." He glared at his companion as if daring him to disagree. Gabriel did nothing of the sort.

Nathan nodded as if it all made sense now. "Well, I may not be very, you know, socially adept or anything, but I'm pretty sure you don't just shout it at someone you want a casual friendship with." He paused then, cocked his head for a moment. "Or at least, not like that."

Gabriel swallowed. "I didn't shout." He replied, then mentally hit himself. Really? That was all he could come up with? But then Nathan's lips quirked into the smallest smile and Gabriel didn't care anymore, except that he would really like to see that smile again. Like, a lot.

"Well," Nathan continued, "then again, maybe you do, I wouldn't really know. But you definitely don't stare at someone like that if you wanna be 'just friends', so."

"So?" Gabriel ventured tentatively. Nathan scowled.

"So," he said. "I'm _not_ surprised."

"Okay."

They sat in awkward silence for another minute, and then Gabriel laughed. "Okay!" he said. "Great."

They sat for another beat of silence, before Gabriel ventured further hesitantly. "So, are we..."

Nathan's brow knitted into a frown, but he didn't look up. He coughed awkwardly. "Maybe," he said. Then, "pretty cheap date though."

Gabriel flushed. "I wasn't sure if-" he cut himself off, clenching his fingers into each other. "I'll take you on a proper date," he promised. "This weekend, yeah?"

Nathan's cheeks were red. "Are you sure? Cause I'm not exactly boyfriend material and shit, and I've got a fair few issues-"

"I'm sure," Gabriel interrupted firmly. He wanted to reach out and touch Nathan's hand, but it was under the table, out of reach. Instead, he leaned down a little in an attempt to catch the other boy's downcast gaze, smiling triumphantly when he managed to make eye-contact. "I'm sure," he repeated gently. Nathan nodded and shrugged.

"Alright," he replied, fingers clenching around the metal container of his canteen. "Your loss."

Their date was a disaster. Gabriel took Nathan to watch a movie - standard stuff, because they didn't really know each other yet and he figured they just needed a chance to get familiar with each other. That might've been fine, except it was clear neither of them were actually enjoying himself.

In hindsight, he had no idea why he'd imagined an action movie was a good idea, but at the time he'd just picked something at random, and only realized later that an action movie meant loads of explosions, and not much room for talk.

Nevertheless, as he sat there regretting this whole thing, he looked over at Nathan and realised the brunette was staring right back, eyebrows raised as if to say, 'really?'

Gabriel grimaced, and in that split second made a decision. He leant close to the other boy's ear and said, "want to get out of here?"

Nathan shivered almost involuntarily, a pink blush rising up his neck at Gabriel's proximity. "Good idea," he replied, so Gabriel took the plunge and grabbed his hand, entwining Nathan's fingers with his own and pulling them out of the cinema.

Nathan's hand was tough and covered in calluses. It was smaller than his own, long slender fingers seeming almost delicate in Gabriel's grasp, but his firm grip made it clear that they were very capable. His fingernails were short and blunt and almost perpetually covered in some substance or another - paints or pastels or charcoal standing as evidence of his passion.

They were perfect.

As soon as they'd exited the cinema Gabriel stopped, unsure of where to go. He didn't really know where to take Nathan now that his planned date was a fail, but then he looked over at the other boy and Nathan was smirking at him.

"Come on," he said, voice suspiciously smug, and started pulling him down the road.

Gabriel coughed. "Where are we going?" He asked, voice surprisingly small. He felt awkward and kinda stupid, but Nathan seemed unfazed.

"Somewhere quieter," he replied, glancing back briefly. "Somewhere nicer," he added, smiling a little and tugging on Gabriel's arm.

They walked the rest of the way in companionable silence.

The place Nathan took him to was only a ten minute walk away, but Gabriel had never been there before. It was a sizable area of conserved land - a lake surrounded by densely packed trees in every direction for a fair few miles. It was open to the public, but there were few people there, and even then the vegetation around them did a good job blocking out the noise of the surrounding city so that the only sounds were the rustling of trees, the chirping of birds and the trickling of a small stream.

And the sound of their footsteps.

It was beautiful and peaceful, some of the trees ancient and huge and others still-small saplings. At some point, they passed a tree that had collapsed - perhaps in some storm, and the fallen trunk had split into two, both trees growing upwards and strong from one base. Nathan had let go of his hand for a minute then, climbing swiftly onto the near-horizontal trunk balanced over the stream and disappearing through the leaves only to jump down in front of Gabriel further along, surprising him enough to let out an embarrassingly high-pitched squeal.

It made Nathan chuckle quietly, and though Gabriel pretended to be annoyed, he was convinced that he would do almost anything to hear that - frankly adorable - laugh again.

"I come here a lot," Nathan told him a while later. The stream had become wide enough to be a little difficult to jump across now, which apparently meant they were nearing the lake in the middle. "It's quiet even during the day, even during rush hour, so I come here when I need to just..." He trailed off, sending Gabriel an odd look.

Gabriel raised an eyebrow, as if trying to encourage him to continue. Nathan looked away, fingers tightening in Gabriel's. "There's loads of stuff to draw too," he said instead. "So I do that a lot."

Gabriel frowned. A part of him wanted to ask after what Nathan had so obviously avoided, but then the boy chanced a shy look in his direction, and Gabriel forgot all about it.

Hours later Gabriel took him to a small diner where they ate as Gabriel stared helplessly at the other boy's pretty pink mouth, and by the time he walked Nathan home it was already dark.

As they neared his house, Gabriel tugged him into an alley and pushed him against the wall, pressing warm lips against his all sweet and gentle and Nathan's mouth was incredibly soft, especially for such a frowny boy. He didn't know how long they kissed, lips moving against each other and tongues dancing until they were panting heated breaths into one another. Nathan's leg had ended up resting on his hip, Gabriel's fingers curled into his hair and their foreheads resting against each other's as Gabriel stared into dark, dark eyes.

"See you Monday," Nathan whispered, and then he was gone, cold air where a scant few seconds before there was a warm body.

He watched Nathan walk to his house from the shadows, only turning away once the boy had disappeared through the door, and the whole way home he couldn't stop touching his lips in memory of the kiss he'd shared today.

Nathan Byrn.

He may be falling in love already.