A/N: welcome to the hell of being a server! There are so many things that happen 'behind the scenes' so to speak, at a restaurant that it's a wonder servers are sane.

I'll only put a disclaimer in the first chapter, so here it is: I own the complete series of Rainbow Brite on DVD, but I don't own Criminal Minds.

Chapter 1: Orientation

6:15am. That's what time her alarm clock was beeping at her. She grabbed her pillow and threw it at the offending red lights, knocking it to the floor. With the clock went her brand new Tiffany's lamp crashing to the ground. She knew that it was going to be one of those days.

Getting up, Emily Prentiss made her way to her ensuite bathroom, steeping on a piece of broken stainglass in the process. "SHIT!" Thankfully it hadn't gone too deep into the soul of her foot, but she now had a trail of blood to clean up. Sighing, Emily looked in the mirror. "Jesus Christ! Fuck, Emily! How do you manage to get gum in your hair? What would have possibly made you go to bed chewing gum?" She thought for a moment and then a smile made it's way to the corners of her lips.

Aaron had called last night. He and Jack had gone fishing for the weekend and it was too late to come over, so he had settled on a late night call of dirty, raunchy phone sex. He had wanted her to chew the gum. The smile that had lingered on her lips as she remembered the 'conversation' was now replaced with a look of total distain for her boss/lover. She just wanted to take a shower and cut the gum out of her hair.

It was almost like some cosmic force had hit the earth off its axis and had hurled it into some sick, make-Emily's-life-a-living-hell kind of alternate reality. She had left her condo by seven; got her morning Grande Caramel Macchiato from Starbucks (which she spilt in her lap fifteen minutes later); drove back home to change; got another Macchiato; got stuck in the morning traffic in D.C.; and finally got to the BAU two hours and thirty-six minutes after she had originally left.

Emily slammed her purse in the bottom drawer of her desk and gave Derek and Reid a look that dared them to say anything. She was out for blood this morning and it didn't matter whose it was.

Derek Morgan was completely up for the challenge. "Good morning, sunshine princess! How's your morning so far?"

"You smug son-of-a…" she was cut off by JJ.

"We got one, guys. Conference room now." JJ was in and out of the bullpen before Emily could finish laying into Derek. It would just have to wait till the jet.

Emily sat in her usual chair, Hotch next to her. He gave her knee a quick little squeeze under the table and she just shot him her best 'Hotch-glare'. She was blaming him for her terrible morning, regardless of the fact that she was the one who set all this in motion.

JJ stated by first putting up the slides of the victims. "Lakeland, Florida. Five couples in as many days. There really isn't anything linking these couples to one another. They all live in different subdivisions; all are in different income brackets. The Sylvester's, the second couple, they had a twelve year old son; the Issac's, the latest couple, had no children but had two dogs and a cat. One couple was engaged and the other two couples were dating. All these victims are so random and on complete different ends of the spectrum that the Lakeland PD is requesting our assistance."

"Well, looking at the vicimology of the females at least, they are all brunettes. So at least we know he has a type. Maybe the men are just collateral damage." Reid had a point. All the women looked like each other. "How are they being killed?" Reid asked the question that no one really wanted an answer too. True, they did this for a living, but for once they didn't want to wake up to photos of butchered bodies.

JJ put up the first slide of the victims sent over to them from the Lakeland medical examiner. "The unsub is slicing them open from mouth to stomach and washing out their insides leaving their bodies an empty shell."

"OH. MY. GOD! What on God's good green earth is that and please tell me that it is gone from my sight and my presence!"

"You're safe Garcia. It's gone."

"Can't you people put up a sign or something warning poor, unsuspecting, bespeckled eyes that there are heinous images up?"

"How 'bout we text you when it's safe to come out of your layer so that my baby girl won't get scared of the big bad television screen." Garcia slapped Derek's bald head to emphasize that she was unimpressed with his little joke.

'Can we focus here children?"

"Yes dad!" Derek said getting a swift kick in the shin from Rossi.

"If we could get back to the matter at hand please?" JJ waited until the bantering parties had quieted down before she continued. "Thank you. Now there is one thing that the local LEO's were able to find in connecting our victims. They all sat at the same table at the same restaurant. I agree with them. I don't think it's a coincidence."

"What restaurant?" This was the first time Emily had contributed at the round table this morning.

"Red Lobster. All I know for sure is that we have ten victims and by my calculations, there will be two more by tomorrow morning."

"You're right, JJ. Wheels up in twenty." The team collected their files and made to leave when Hotch pulled Emily aside. "What's the matter sweetheart?"

"Don't 'sweetheart' me. Because of you, I broke my lamp, cut my foot, had to cut gum out of my hair, spilt my coffee and was two and a half hours late for work. So DON'T give me those puppy dog Hotch eyes! I'm mad at you and that's that!" Emily stormed out of the conference room and down to her desk, knocking a stack of files on the floor. "You have GOT to be KIDDING ME!"

"Am I to blame for that too?" Hotch said with a smirk as he pointed to the scattered papers on the floor.

"If you want to leave in twenty, AGENT HOTCHNER, you better get your ass down here and help me. And STOP laughing! This isn't funny!"

Hotch came down the stairs and knelt down beside the woman who he was madly in love with. "Sweetheart, it's a little funny."

"A little? Hotch, this is down right the best we've seen from our dear girl since she managed to trip up the stairs and hurl her coffee at Rossi's window. I love you Em, but seriously, invest in something other than heels."

Okay, this even had Emily chuckling now, but then she remembered that she was angry at the universe and she gave Derek a look that said 'I-dare-you-to-say-anything-else-because-I-have-the-advantage-to-take-you-out-from-where-I'm-kneeling'. Derek clearly got the message because he was now picking up the last of the stray papers and putting them in their appropriate case folders.

By 1:00pm, the team was walking into the Lakeland Police Station. The detective who had caught the case greeted them.

The first two days on the case, Detective Miller got his fair share of jokes regarding fish and seafood. By the fourth day, no one was laughing. And now, the whole department was willing to do whatever the almighty BAU told them to.

As soon as they walked in, there was no mistaking that everyone noticed Emily. Yes, she was beautiful but it wasn't that that they noticed. They were all looking from the photos of the dead women back to her.

They weren't the only ones who noticed the similarity. Hotch saw it as soon as he saw the first photo. He wasn't about to say anything to Emily about it though. She was still pissed at him for her no good, very bad day. But the fact that the victims all resembled his girlfriend made the carnal protective side of him come out. If that monster reared is ugly head anywhere near Emily, he knew that she would have him sleeping on the couch once they got home.

"Agent Hotchner. Thank you so much for coming." Det. Miller extended his hand to shake Hotch's. "We just got a call from the coroner's office. They found something in the victim's abdomens. She wants someone over there right away."

"Morgan, Reid. Head over to the morgue with officer… I'm sorry. We weren't introduced."

"Officer Fischer. You can call me Caroline. I'll take your agents to the morgue and then we can stop by the latest dump site."

"Thank you. Now Det. Miller, I'm still not quite sure what it is you want my agent to do. I'm not sure how it will accomplish anything." Hotch was talking to Det. Miller but motioning towards Emily. She hated being spoken about like she wasn't there.

"Well, Agent Prentiss bares a striking resemblance to the female victims. We've spoken to each of the waitresses who served them and lets' face it, they could all have been your agent's sisters. I figured your agent could get a job at Red Lobster and then we'd have someone there on a nightly basis. She would be able to keep an eye on things and see if anything is out of the ordinary." This plan made sense. Now it was trying to convince Hotch.

Emily could see the wheels turning in his head. He didn't want her to do this. "Hotch, this may be our best shot at finding out who this guy is. And if this unsub's pattern is anything to go by, he never even acknowledges the waitresses. I'd be safer working there than eating there." Emily hoped she would be able to convince him.

"Are you sure about this Emily?"

"Hotch, I'll be fine." She ran her hand up and down his arm hoping to relieve some of his anxiety towards this plan. The action didn't go unnoticed by Det. Miller. "We can get in touch with the manager and set it up. I'm sure he'll want to have his restaurant back to a friendly family place to dine."

"I was hoping you'd agree because your orientation is in an hour."

A/N: this story popped into my head as I was driving home from one of the worse shifts I've ever worked at a restaurant that shall rename nameless for the sack of not giving away too much information.

I literally wanted to punch someone's teeth out! But I thought it would be a fun little way to vent about my frustrations at work and to try my hand at writing a case-fic.

Well, what tidbit can I leave you with today? The first Red Lobster was opened in 1968 by Bill Darden in Lakeland, Florida.

Well, again and as always, Read, Review and Recycle!