I posted this on tumblr AGES ago, but now that I'm just about done the last chapter I figured I'd post the whole story here on FF. It really has turned out to be one of my favorite things that I've written in a while! It's silly, it's low-stress, and I love it.
This is just a Link and Zelda AU not attached to any particular game. Inspired by those guards that stand in front of Buckingham Palace!
I hope you enjoy as much as I do!
~Alyssa
In Hyrule palace, there was one rule left over from the time of her great-grandfather, one that many believed must certainly not be broken: the guards on duty were not allowed to laugh.
Meant to preserve the dignity that the royal order of the guards were required to possess, King Daphnes VII had thought it a way to project power to every outsider inside the castle gates. On duty, the soldiers on guard were not supposed to have feelings; they were nothing but an extension of royal might, and as such, it was of utmost importance for them to remain disciplined even in the most trying of circumstances.
Their faces were to remain blank at all times. They were not permitted to so much as crack a grin, and they went through rigorous training to ensure that they never would.
But that never stopped Princess Zelda from trying.
There were probably much more important things she could be doing, but from the time she had come to an age when she noticed the stern, intimidating faces of the men who protected her, she had pledged to do what she could to make their days brighter.
When she was small, that meant scurrying between the skirts of the noble ladies and dropping little mice and snakes for them to shriek over, or doing cartwheels on the freshly polished floor, or plopping herself down in front of them and making the silliest faces that she could muster.
Of course, she was much too old for that sort of behavior now. Instead, she was forced to settle for more subtle tactics. Even so, over the years since she had begun the practice, she had succeeded in making every single guard in her order smile at the very least.
Except one.
Link was fairly new, but it wasn't for that reason that he had managed to evade her talents. No, this exception wasn't for lack of trying.
He wasn't just handsome, tall and strong and sharp in his uniform. He wasn't just skilled, dominating the other young men in his regiment at every duel they challenged him to. He wasn't even just brave, jumping into situations when they arose without a thought to the consequences or towards his own well being.
No, by the Goddesses, he had to be just as talented at remaining dignified as she was breaking dignity.
She took it as a personal slight.
And as a personal challenge.
And so, whenever she had the time to spare, she found herself skipping through the halls to the formal entrance of the palace to find him. Today was no different.
There he was, stationed by the door. Back rigid. Spear at his side. Blank expression. Fine backside-
She shook her head as she strode towards him, holding her arms behind her back as she approached.
"Hello, Link," she said innocently, smiling her prettiest smile. Sometimes it was this alone, combined with her knowledge of their name, that was enough to break the men from their stoic expression.
But not Link. It was a trick he had seen far too often.
"Good afternoon, Princess," he replied, his voice indulgent. It wasn't the monotone he greeted the other castlegoers with, or the bark he delivered orders with during drills. As far as she was concerned, it was a voice reserved just for her.
"How are you faring?" she asked as she came to stand before him.
"Well, thank you." His expression relaxed from its stern position to one more friendly. But still no smile.
"Any trouble today?"
"None whatsoever."
She could imagine his smile. It probably lit up his face, put a twinkle in his blue, blue eyes and made him even more handsome than he already was. It was probably as infectious as his laugh had to be. She could tell from his voice that his laugh had to be handsome. It was low and smooth, with that accent from the South of Hyrule that sent a shiver down her spine every time he spoke…
But she was just conjecturing. She'd never heard him laugh, or seen him smile.
That would change soon. Maybe even today.
"Has anyone of interest come by?"
"Besides yourself?" He raised a brow. She flushed. "Not as of yet."
"Well…" she rocked back on her toes. Get him off his guard to move in for the kill. That was the plan. But he was just so good at answering just what she asked. Though that was technically etiquette-he wasn't of high enough standing to have a true conversation with her-it just made it so difficult to get his mind off of what they both knew she was doing. "Um...thank you for all your hard work. This palace would not move as smooth as it does without you."
"I live to serve my country," said Link, automatically. He said the same thing every time she tried to compliment him. Flattery never knocked him off kilter. She came up with new strategies daily, but it never hurt to try again.
"You're too modest," she insisted. "I've heard the captain speak about you to my uncle. The things you can do in training! Rumor has it you're up for promotion!"
Hope, that was another thing that made the gentlemen smile. And it wasn't like she was toying with him, either-it was all true. Hylian General Prince Gustaf had said said something over supper the evening last about trying out the fellow as a deputy.
But Link did nothing but look politely disinterested. "Is that so?"
She nodded."I so wish I could tell him that you were friendly."
"I"m rather hurt, Princess. I would have thought I was always nothing but cordial."
"Cordial is not friendly," she looked away, giving her most dismayed frown. "You only tolerate me."
"Never," he assured her. "You're a delight."
"Is that why you won't smile?" she challenged.
He raised his brow. "You'd have me break the law?"
She grimaced at him, taking a step back. "No," she grumbled, slumping her shoulders, the picture of annoyed. "Of course not."
"I beg you not take it personally, Princess. I happen to rather enjoy this job. I would hate to lose it."
"Oh, of course. I would never ask you to do such a thing just for my gratification" She lifted her free hand to her forehead, sighing heavily as she closed her eyes. Sometimes the dramatics broke them.
She peeked one eye open to gauge his expression.
Not Link.
Damn him.
Well, fare well today, sir," she said as she righted herself.
And as she turned to go, a tutting sound stopped her in her tracks. She turned right around, only to be handed the marble-colored cushion that she had surreptitiously dropped on the ground when she thought he wasn't looking.
His eyes-so blue they made her ache-glimmered with mirth. But no smile.
"You think, after all these months, a farting noise would work?" he asked, and she sighed again, snatching it from his hand.
"It was worth a shot," she muttered.
He made a noise in his throat that could have been a laugh. But of course, it wasn't.
"You're losing your edge," he said.
"I'm running out of ideas!" she corrected him. "The cushion works nine times out of ten, easy. You don't even have to step on it yourself! More often than not, some floozy lady will walk by and shriek her mind off and that's it! I have them!"
He examined her carefully before responding. "Not me."
She crossed her arms, unwilling to concede. "Well, I'll come up with something! You mark me, Link, I will! So you had better...watch out! Sleep with one eye open! Double check your trousers! I'll find a way!"
And with that, she stormed off.
She heard his amused voice follow her as she went. "See you tomorrow, Princess."
If she didn't know any better, she would have said that this had become as much of a game for him as it was for her.
Giving him one last look, she stalked out of the entranceway, a woman on a mission.
Back to the drawing board it was, then.
Leave a word and make me smile :) Chapters 2 and 3 (and possibly 4, if I think it needs one) coming along soon!
For more stuff like this that I don't always get around to posting on here, follow me on tumblr at alyssawritesalot! Seeya guys next time!