I honestly feel like I needed to write this, perhaps as a form of closure for myself if nothing else. I recently watched the final episodes of Sonic X (the Japanese version) and I felt so bad for Tails that I almost couldn't stop myself from crying.
Since then the song that played and the images I saw have been flashing in my head almost non-stop and I couldn't get myself to stop thinking about writing something like this, maybe as a way of giving myself a happy ending to Tails' heartbreaking journey, even if it is bittersweet.
I woke up at three in the morning last night and I couldn't sleep because the song was in my head and so was the look of utter sorrow on Tails' face...at four I began writing this drabble, and it's now 5:30 and I'm publishing this piece. I truly think I feel better after getting this idea out of my head and into this story, so I hope you all enjoy it. I own nothing except the story.
_
Sometimes he could still feel the sting. The memory of what he'd done would visit him in the form of nightmares and remind him of the pain and anguish he'd suffered as a result of what he'd been forced to do over ten years ago. He would wake up in the middle of night, screaming her name with tears rolling down his furry cheeks as he watched her die over and over again, by his own hands. He'd clutch at his chest, his heart beating painfully as he heaved and sobbed at the still heartbreaking reality that she was gone forever, and it was all his fault.
He'd saved the universe, but at the cost of destroying the love of his life.
Cosmo.
He could still distinctly picture every detail of her face in his mind. Her pale peach skin, so smooth to the touch, her short green hair that seemed to be shaped like leaves on her head, with the two pretty pink flower buds growing out of the sides of her head...and of course, those sparkling blue eyes, he remembered those most of all. Conjuring up the image of those eyes to this day still made his heart ache, they were always so filled with love and adoration for every single one of her friends, but especially for him.
He could still remember everything that had happened leading up to her death, he remembered the feeling of hopelessness when Sonic and Shadow, both at the peak of their power levels thanks to the Chaos Emeralds granting them enough energy to unleash their super forms, couldn't manage to break through the gravitational field of the dying Metarex planet that would have destroyed the universe if it exploded.
Then he watched in awe as out of nowhere, Cosmo suddenly seemed to blossom right before his eyes. Her body transformed, she grew into an adult almost instantly as her hair lengthened, she increased in size, and the flower buds on her head bloomed into gorgeous pink flowers, the likes of which he'd never seen before nor had he ever seen since. She was beautiful, and for the briefest of moments he found himself falling in love all over again.
Until she flew out to fulfill what she clearly felt was her destiny.
It was so surreal. Cosmo had always had a problem with her self-esteem, she'd deemed herself unworthy of having friends like him and the others more times than he could count, always berating herself for her weakness and her inability to contribute in the battles against the Metarex.
In the end, she was the sole reason they had managed to save the universe once again. She transformed herself into what looked like an enormous cherry blossom tree and rooted herself to the dying planet that was, in essence, Dark Oak himself. She stopped him from destroying them, and in return, he'd pressed the trigger on the Sonic Power Cannon and murdered her at her own request.
He pleaded with her, begged her, refused to grant her wish because he knew he would be destroying her if he fired. He loved her, there was no doubt in his heart or mind about that, how could she expect him to just press the button that would bring her very existence to an end? Even if the result would save the universe? In the end though, he came through. Screaming her name in anguish, he closed his eyes and pressed the button, and seconds later he curled up into a ball with his tails wrapped around his body as he sobbed in mourning.
Tails had never known what it was like to have his heart broken up until then, it had left him barely able to breathe and his chest ached as though he were actually dying himself. The last time he ever saw her, it came in the form of a brightly shining Cosmo who appeared to be back in her normal form, and she walked up to him with a loving smile and leaned down to give him a kiss he swore he could feel, just before she faded from his sight forever.
Everything after that was a blur. All he could remember was sobbing into his arms as he heard Cosmo's voice bid him goodbye, and that she would always love him. Then Sonic returned to the badly damaged Blue Typhoon, and with a sorrowful frown, he handed him the only thing that was left of Cosmo even after he and Shadow had attempted to save her life using a last ditch effort with Chaos Regeneration.
A tiny white seed.
Tails fell to his knees and his eyes widened in horror at the thought that all that was left of Cosmo, the girl he loved, was a small and inanimate seed. He pounded on Sonic's chest in a mixture of rage and sorrow, and Sonic stood there with him until he finally exhausted himself and fell asleep right there on the spot.
That was over ten years ago, and even though he'd since moved on with his life, the pain of what happened would still come back to him occasionally. He'd planted the seed in a small flower pot almost immediately after returning to Mobius, and a few weeks later it sprouted a tiny green plant, and he'd smiled sadly at the sight.
Since then, he'd nurtured that small plant and helped it to grow over the years. Now it was too big for a flower pot and he'd decided to let it take root outside of his workshop, and the small tree continued to grow. He often wondered whether Cosmo would actually return one day through that tree, the process of Seedrian reproduction was never made clear to him. But there was no sense in pondering too deeply on that.
Even if she did, it wouldn't be the same anymore.
Tails would never forget her, and neither would anyone else for that matter. Though he'd long since gotten to the point where he could talk about her with his friends without turning into a sobbing mess on the floor, there was still a lingering ache in his heart that would reach him whenever he thought about her, which was still fairly often.
He had turned into a wonderful young man (or so he was told), and he'd actually managed to fall in love again since Cosmo's death, something that he never thought he'd be able to do up until it actually happened. But though his heart now belonged to someone else, he knew there would always be a special place in his heart for the plant girl who'd sacrificed herself to save him, and it comforted him to know that the girl he loved dearly today shared his sentiment, as she was also there when Cosmo gave her life, and was almost as distraught over her death as he was.
He would be eternally grateful to Cream the Rabbit for helping to fill the void in his heart left by Cosmo, and for easing the pain he felt whenever he thought about her. If there was anyone who could understand what Cosmo had meant to him, it was Cream, and she comforted him and loved him in spite of the effect that the scars he still suffered from to this day had on him.
He knew the sting would never truly disappear, the nightmares would never stop completely, Cosmo had meant too much to him for that...but just like the physical scars that had long since faded from his body, so too did the emotional ones left behind by the loss of his first love. But they would never completely disappear, they were as much a part of him as his own tails were now, and those scars drove him to make sure that he would be able to protect his remaining loved ones no matter what the circumstances. They'd molded him into who he was today, a hero in his own right, one who fought each and every day to make the world a better place, something that Cosmo had wanted to do with all her heart and soul.
With Cream by his side, the scars had faded, along with the pain associated with them...but the thing about scars was that they never went away completely, and Tails knew that. He would live with those scars for the rest of his life...but he would live, and create a new life for himself with Cream.
And that thought made him smile, as he somehow knew deep down in his heart, that Cosmo was smiling down on him from up above as he laughed and enjoyed his life with his new love, a girl who he loved just as much as he'd loved Cosmo, and in many ways was just like her, bearing the same innocence and the same kind and gentle heart as she had...and he knew that if the object of his scars ever did find it fit to rejoin them someday, presumably as a baby if anything he wagered, both he and Cream would welcome her with open arms.
Cosmo's death left an everlasting impression on Tails, and though the wounds had healed, the scars remained. But he had those scars to thank for making him stronger, and he was determined to live out his life, knowing that was what she would have wanted.
_
A/N: So there you have it. I'd like to believe that as the years go by, Tails would move on and fall in love again. I'm primarily a Tails and Cream shipper as everyone knows, and seeing as how she and Cosmo are actually very similar in their personalities, I think Cream would be able to heal the wounds in Tails' heart...but every wound leaves a scar, and those go with us for the rest of our lives. That's just reality.
Thank you everyone for reading this, and if you liked it, leave a review and let me know what you think. Maybe this touched you in a way you didn't expect. Until next time dear readers.