So my prep session was moved and I had a little free time to write. This is sad and angst filled but I'm pretty happy with the outcome. Please be kind and review!

Rain On A Sunny Day

Here she was again, wallowing in the self pity that seemed to engulf her each day. Maybe it was her fault, she should have never gotten so attached to anybody. But the feel of his skin on hers, the taste of his breath and the twinkle in his eyes were all too much, she was powerless against them. So she took a leap. She let herself fall in love, and it was great.

Then he wanted commitment. He wanted to take what they made, the perfect mix of sex and love, the undying trust and connection they had for each other and he wanted to tear it apart.

He asked in front of their friends, the hope and the fear reflecting in his perfect eyes. But all she could say was no. Handing him the ring, she had picked up her bag, making that silent and painful trek to the elevator. Before the doors had shut she could see the hurt and confusion on his face, begging her to turn around. Hitting the switch on the wall the machine came to a sudden halt. She sank to her knees, hot salty tears flooding her eyes, staining her cheeks.

They had barely spoken since, only when they were working a lead, never for anything else. Then one day she walked through the bullpen. Jessica. The name seemed to stick in her throat, the taste of it sour on her tongue. Wearing a skimpy black dress she strut into the room, flashing a smile in Tonys direction before she had firmly planted her lips on his.

Without a word he stood up, snaking an arm around her slim waist and walking her to the elevator. When she looked at McGee she was given only a shrug and a sympathetic look. For six months and two weeks she watched him carry that girl on his arm, bringing her flowers and stealing kisses when they thought she wasn't looking.

Finally she had enough, pulling him by the arm they entered the elevator. The power snapped off and they stood in the darkness, staring into each others eyes with such intensity she had to sit down. The cold floor was her only company as he continued to stare with such a hatred it threatened to dissolve her.

"Tony.." the name sounded strangled, her voice a mere whimper. Sighing he took a seat beside her on the floor, resting his head against the wall.

"Can I ask ya something Zi?" she paused before her bobbed up and down, still unable to speak.

"Why'd you do it?" the words spilled out so fast she barely understood him.

"Because Tony.. I was scared." she confessed, looking up to meet his eyes. They were cold, no sign of the love or warmth they had once possessed.

"Then why didn't you tell me?" the desperation in his voice was like a knife to the chest, tearing at her every time his voice quavered.

"I.. Honestly don't know. Maybe because I though you would think less of me. Or that you would be angry.." she cursed when her voice cracked, a tear streaming down her flushed cheeks. His hand lifted up to tenderly wipe it away, lingering for a second, as if he were thinking.

"I would never be mad at you for that.. It takes time for others, I know." he pulled his hand back and lay it in his lap. "But by keeping that from me, humiliating me in front of our friends and co workers. How am I supposed to come back from that?" it was a rhetorical question.

"I don't know Tony, but I am truly sorry.. I never wanted to hurt you.." a symphony of sobs erupted from her body, her face pressing into the sleeve of his jacket. His face was mere inches from hers, his breath tickling her face, the scent almost intoxicating.

"I know Ziva, and I wish I could forgive you, take you back and love you the way I did before. But I can't leave Jessica like that." there was a hint of accusation in his voice. "She deserves more than that. We both deserve more than that."

"You know, the night you ran away I realized Gibbs was right." a bitter laugh, the same dark expression. "Those damn rules.. Should've known they'd come back and get me." sniffling Ziva lifted her head, her trembling fingers wiping the smeared makeup off her face.

"Will there ever be another chance? For us?" the question had been lingering in her mind for far too long. Unfortunately the look in his eyes, the way he slowly shook his head and whispered sorry in her ear, tore all her hope to pieces, each bit another piece of her heart.

"I'm sorry Zi." a final kiss pressed to her forehead, one last squeeze of her fingers, grasping desperately at his as he stood and turned the light back on.

The doors opened and he stepped out, taking her heart and all she had with him.