All characters and all rights at Navy CIS LA belong to CBS and Shane Brennan Productions. The following story does not serve any commercial purposes, but was written only for the pleasure of fans. An injury of Copyright is not intended. All further persons belong to the authoress.

I am not used to write in English, so if you find any mistakes in my story please send them back to me for correction.

I also would be very glad about any review so I could become a better writer and give you more fun while reading.

Chapter 1 - Self-Doubts

Furious Kensi and Joann returned to headquarters. At the sight of them their colleagues weren't sure whether to laugh or to be silent. After a second look at the faces of the women, they decided for silence. Irritated by this sudden silence, broken only by strange-sounding steps, Hetty came out of her office. The sight that was offered her was amazing.

"Miss Blye, Miss MacKenzie, an explanation please."

The sounds of laboriously suppressed laughter were not to miss in the silence. Joann's views across to the men were so cold that Deeks almost choked because of suppressed laughter.

"The suspect fled to a building lot. Because of the rain during the recent days, that was a single mud pit."

"We have arrested him anyway." In contrast to Joann Kensi's eyes flashed fire.

"Of course, I expected that, Miss Blye." Hetty looked at the traces of mud beginning at the entrance and the big puddles that had formed around the feet of her agents. "I think you both should refresh yourselves, before you submit your report."

…

The looks that earned Hetty for that were the straw that brought the camel's back. Deeks burst out laughing and Sam fell in only a few seconds later. Just Callen stayed completely blank.

"I have already heard that mud baths should be healthy, but I was of the opinion that one take of clothes before."

This triggered a new burst of laughter. Meanwhile Eric and Nate had turned up and joined in the laughter after a moment of amazement.

…

With a backbreaking gaze Joann looked at Kensi. Then she walked slowly but purposefully towards G. Carefully, he stepped back. A notion crept up on him what would happen immediately. But before he could turn to flee, Joann had made a leap forward and jauntily put her arms around him. To top it off she rubbed her cheeks against his.

…

Immediately Kensi had understood what Joann would do and took advantage of the others being distracted by this action. She crept up on Deeks from behind and rather he knew it, a considerable amount of mud stuck on him. As a precaution, Sam, Nate and Eric backtracked out of the reach of the two women. In doing so they laughed to tears.

…

Amused Hetty has watched the whole. Now she called attention to herself again.

"I suggest that the four of you now take a shower before the entire headquarters needs a major cleaning. And you, gentlemen," while Hetty turned to Sam, Nate and Eric, "You can arm yourselves with floor cloths and buckets and eliminate the tracks."

This time it was Kensi, Deeks, Joann and Callen, who laughed. Nevertheless, they disappeared quickly to the showers before Hetty also allotted them on the cleaning squad.

…

"Gee, mind what you are doing!" Kensi glared at Deeks, who ran into her in front of the shower.

He grinned impudently.

"What?" Annoyed, she looked at him.

"Oh, I wonder just what suits you more: this outfit or the previous!" Unfortunately, again he wasn't fast enough to escape her. He had to take a hard hit to his upper arm. "Ouch!" This time Kensi grinned.

…

Joann has watched the little interlude out of the background, smiling to herself. Deeks knew exactly what happened when he teased Kensi, but he did anyway and over again. A sigh escaped her lips.

"What makes your life so difficult, Little One?"

"Don't call me 'Little One'!"

This time it was Callen, who had to take a hit to the upper arm. "Hey, do you really need to hit so hard?" He rubbed his arm. Tomorrow there would appear a bruise. "So, what's going on?"

Joann shrugged her shoulders. "Kensi and Marty. Nothing else."

This time it was Callen, who sighed. "Whatever you see in them, it only will work when they find it out for themselves."

"Yes, I know. Sometimes I just wish a perfect world for me, where my friends are well and happy. Pretty stupid, huh?"

For a moment Callen ignored, where they were and he clasped Joann in his arms. "No, it's not, Jo. This world I would like, too." He kissed her tenderly. A shrill whistle interrupted them.

"Interrupted by the bell!", exclaimed both at once. Cheerful laughing, they followed this unmistakable call.

…

A few days later the team was moaning about paperwork. The night before Hetty had lain down the law to them. Lately, a case had been hunting the other, so that all were behind with their reports. They would only get a new case when everything was worked up.

"What's the meaning of this?" With a frown Kensi stared at the notepad. "Why can't you write readable, Deeks?"

"Because you can't drive acceptably. How should I write readable if you take along every pothole and every asphalt tack!" Marty was really angry. Just like all the others he hated the paperwork and Kensi didn't make it any easier with her nagging.

"Can you even leave your damn bickering, I'm trying to concentrate!" Sam lost patience and became loud. "We're not in kindergarten, so don't behave like that! Are once..."

Before he could continue complaining, a subtle but clear hawking interrupted him.

…

"As you all know", Hetty gave a discussing look at the paperwork on the tables," in recent weeks we have received more to do than we can actually edit. Despite the fact that we got a competent and industrious support with Miss MacKenzie. Furthermore, we usually work in pairs, which is difficult with an odd number of team members. So I've been looking for further support and found one. Early morning a new colleague will start working with us. His name is Ray Wingate. He comes straight out of training, but is very promising." She threw a sharp glance around the room. "I expect that you will behave better tomorrow than today." So she left the silent circle.

…

Callen looked at his team and then walked behind Hetty. Kensi and Deeks continued to work without the usual teasing, but said only the most necessary to one another. Sam stared at his laptop, but without doing anything. Abruptly, he stood up and disappeared. Joann was baffled by the behavior of her friends. The new colleague would definitely be a relief and easing of tension. As Hetty had chosen him, he certainly would be good. What was all this fuss about?

…

Silently Callen sat down opposite Hetty.

"Yes, Mr. Callen?"

"Do you think it's a good idea?"

Before she answered she looked at him thoughtfully. "You know our situation, Mr. Callen. We still need someone."

"I had rather thought of building a completely new team in addition to mine, Hetty."

"That would be the better solution, but we don't have the means. Director Vance has expressed himself very clearly. We are allowed to keep Miss MacKenzie and occupy another spot. Unfortunately anymore isn't possible with the clammy cashes." Hetty sighed. "I am aware that the situation is not easy, but all will have to cope with that." Then she handed Callen a file. "I think the young man will be a good partner for Miss MacKenzie. He has all the markings for it."

Callen read through the file and then looked up. "Hetty, for how long do you have been looking for someone like that?" A slight smile played on her lips, but she gave him no answer. "You do that again, like at the time with Deeks, right?" He shook his head. "I just hope you are right, and he is worth all the problems he caused inevitably."

…

Joann was first done with everything. She has lodged in between some night shifts so as not to completely lose track. Tired she rubbed her eyes and then decided that she needed movement. So she pulled away and walked into the training room. "Well, here you are." Sam did not answer, but beaten on the sand bag. Silently, she warmed up and then started her katas. If Sam wanted to talk, he would have done this.

"Your elbow is too low and your hand is not stretched enough." Joann corrected her position, but without saying anything. It took a while, then the next correction came. "Your right foot is not correct, that makes your standing uncertain."

This time Joann interrupted her routine and directly looked at Sam. "Either you argue with the sand bag or train with me. Both doing at the same time means, that you do none of both properly. So, what should it be?"

Sam hesitated a moment and then went to the mat. Joann was not Kensi, the only one who defeated Sam regularly. But she was very good and didn't make it easy for him.

"Leave a little of her over, Sam, we still need Joann." Callen watched the fight intently.

"You should rather ask me to leave something over of him!", Joann gasped.

"Yes, yes, my Little One, just show it to our Big One.", grinned Callen.

"Do not call me 'Little One'!" She emerged from under the attack of Sam and suddenly Callen faced her feet, just short of his nose.

This time Sam grinned. "G, you should never make a woman angry, that is extremely dangerous."

Slowly Joann lowered her foot. "Thank you, Sam, for now, it's enough."

The two men looked after her. "She makes it harder to me every time. If she continued to train as hard, at some point she will be a second Kensi."

"Good for us, bad for you." Callen looked at his friend. "Let's have a beer, Sam."

"I'll go with you, guys." Unnoticed Kensi had appeared.

"Of course, Kens."

…

Deeks was still sitting at the desk, as Joann passed by, but he wasn't working. She hesitated a moment, then turned around and sat down beside him. "What's going on here, Marty? Why are all behaving so strangely?" Joann had to wait a while until she received a response.

"Dom."

"What?"

"Dominic Vail."

"The young agent who has died?"

"Yes."

"Marty, talk to me."

But Deeks ignored her, got up and left. Amazed Joann looked at him. While she was still wondering what she should do, she saw Sam, G, and Kensi together leaving. They gave the impression of a secret society to which she, Joann, had no access. She made a decision.

…

"Hetty, do you have a moment for me?"

"Of course, Miss MacKenzie. How can I help you?"

"You could tell me what is going on here. All behave absolutely strange, just because a new agent will come. That was not like that when I started here. Indeed there had been some reservations because of my relationship with G, but all seemed to rejoice to work with me."

"Mr. Callen didn't tell you about Dom?"

"Only that he was a young colleague who was killed in action."

Hetty nodded. "I understand. Well, I'll tell you about him."

…

"How can she do that? Someone with no experience. Someone like..." Kensi said no more. It still did hurt too much. "She can't replace him yet!"

"Hetty doesn't do that, Kens." Callen took her hand and pressed it gently.

She pulled her hand away. "However, she does. First Deeks comes, even before we know what happened to Dom and now it is a rookie again."

"We can't work again with a beginner, G. The job is too dangerous." Sam stared at his beer.

"Once we all have been rookies, Sam, and we also worked in hazardous jobs." Callen looked at his two friends. "You know both that Hetty is right. We are understaffed and have plenty to do. We still need someone."

"But not a beginner." Sam sounded resolute and Callen sighed.

He thought like Sam, but he also knew that Hetty had something in mind with her selection. Nevertheless, the new would have a tough time.

…

Deeks ran. His muscles ached, breathing was hard. Nevertheless, he went on. He didn't know what he should do otherwise. Slowly he had begun to feel as a part of the team. Then all the memories of Dom came alive again, and he stood on the sidelines. Would that ever change? Would he really never be part of the team? And Kensi? He was sure of his feelings, but would she ever accept hers? The questions in his head turned in a circle and so he continued to run.

…

In silence the two women sat together, in many ways so different, but in the crucial very similar.

"That explains a lot of things, Hetty. I really wish I had known about it earlier. Thank you for telling me." Sighing Joann rose. "This will provide a lot of problems in the team."

"I know, Miss MacKenzie. I trust that you will help to solve at least some of them."

This remark Joann elicited a wry smile.

…

"What are you doing here?"

Joann was sitting cross-legged in front of Deeks' apartment, a book on her lap and the headphones of her MP3 Player in the ears. "Wait for you." She didn't let herself disturb from the rejecting tone.

He knew that look from work, Joann wouldn't go. "Well, come in."

When he came out of the shower, Joann just poured tea in. She looked up and grinned at him. "Lovely sight, Marty, you are welcome to show it more often." Deeks had only a fairly small towel around his waist, and unfortunately this time he couldn't think of an offhand remark. Instead, he blushed and quickly disappeared into his bedroom.

…

"You know I rather like coffee?"

"Yes, but you need something to calm and not to excite." She gave Marty a cup.

"I don't think that I had hidden tea in my kitchen..."

"I have already assumed this, and therefore I brought something with me of my place."

"Prepared for anything...", he muttered quietly to himself.

Joann grinned at him. "Be prepared, as the boy scouts use to say." Then she became serious. "We need to talk." He immediately shut down again. Sadly she looked at him. "Then listen to me at least."

…

Joann said nothing and let Deeks time to process what he had heard. Without ruffle or excitement she put on fresh tea. "You know, we see and do things that really are ugly and horrible. Also we all have secrets that cast shadows on our lives. It breaks you down or you grow." She looked at him directly and noticed that he listened to her attentively. "We have grown because otherwise we would not be here. That does not mean that we do not doubt again and again to ourselves." She gave back Deeks his cup. "Sam thinks it's his fault that Dom is dead. G thinks that he hasn't done enough to find Dom. Kensi thinks she hasn't spent enough time to get to know Dom. And Hetty thinks it was her fault to hire Dom, despite his excellent skills. But all are wrong. Only that none of them will ever believe this."

…

Deeks played with his cup. Joann proved once again that she could see behind the facades. That made her sometimes a little scary. "And what does this have to do with me?"

"You think you're not part of the team, that they exclude you. You're wrong with it, too."

"Oh, that's why they have taken me with them tonight so willingly."

"You were not part of the team, when Dom was shot. That is the reason why they haven't taken you out. There's no more behind it. For this very reason they didn't take me with them, too." Joann looked at him intently. "On every assignment they put their lives into your hands, without hesitation. And they have entrusted Kensi to you. For both she is like a little sister, whom they want to protect. Neither Sam nor G had allowed that you became her partner if they weren't sure that she would be in good hands with you." And then she smiled. "Also, do you think G would let you work with me, if he didn't trust you?"

"No, definitely not." Deeks gave her a weak smile.

…

As Kensi closed the door behind her, she felt lonely. To her amazement, she suddenly wished that Deeks was here. She shook her head at herself. But then she remembered the night when they found Sam and Callen. The talks with Deeks that night had done good to her and she had felt entirely good. She would now like to feel that way again.

…

The house was empty. He had hoped that Joann was here. To take her in his arms, to smell the scent of her skin, to feel her warmth, would help that much. Callen picked up the phone, but put it back to the side after the first couple of digits. When Joann wanted to be with him, she would have been here. He had given her a key weeks ago.

…

After dropping G, Sam went home. Hetty really had let explode a bomb. Perhaps this was his second chance after he had messed up with Dom.

…

"Why are you really here?" Deeks looked at Joann directly.

She avoided his gaze, staring empty in front of her. Then she looked at him directly. "I had the feeling that you might need me. And I just felt myself tonight as I don't belong to it."

Deeks nodded. "It's late, Joann. Do you want to stay here tonight?"

Joann looked at him penetrating.

"Hey, don't get me wrong! I'll take the couch and the bed is for you." For the second time that evening Deeks blushed.

This made Joann to laugh uproariously. "Don't worry, Marty, I didn't get your invitation wrong. Thank you."

7