This chapter's timeline is mostly retconned. The rest of the story will be pretty different.
In the beginning, there was stuff, but not as much as there is now, and three beings hovered over the stuff. The smartest was anthropomorphic. The strongest was a giant hedgehog. The most delicious was a flying spaghetti monster. None of them could clearly remember how they got there, but assumed they were gods and one of them had made the stuff. The man god claimed he spoke it into existence, but his voice was too tired to prove it. The hedgehog god claimed he built the stuff out of flatulence, but he was all out of gas. Finally, the pasta god claimed to have gotten heavily intoxicated and made all the stuff, but was sobering up.
To decide who was really the creator god, the three decided on a life-creating competition. The man god made man in his image, because the man god is not very creative. The hedgehog god made feral hedgehogs in his image, and also every other manner of animal, but varied as they were, they were also dumb. The pasta god attempted to make men or animals, but the life forms he made were so dumb they just stood there, growing and swaying sometimes; he tried and tried, and just ended up making plants, especially the delicious ones. The man god claimed he was the winner of the competition, but the others did not agree, as he just made one thing that looked like him, which was dumb in and of itself.
They parted ways for ages, each claiming to have created all the stuff, and that their life forms were the best. After a long time of godding over boring plants, the pasta god swallowed his pride and asked the man god to collaborate in making new life. The man god agreed, for even though the pasta god would never admit defeat, he always made delicious things, and the man god was sure anything they both had a hand (or noodly appendage) in creating would be intelligent as well as delicious. So they combined their efforts, and they created the Zeti. But before they could sample Zeti meat, the pasta god, who had been left in charge of them, lost them somehow.
The hedgehog god, curious, also asked the man god to collaborate. Their joint creation was the flickies: intelligent from the man god and equipped with transdimensional power from the hedgehog god. Since working together seemed to be working out so well, the three, the man god and the hedgehog god and the pasta god, joined forces to create the sixth race, after men and animals and plants and Zeti and flickies: anthropomorphic from the man god, zoomorphic from the hedgehog god, and noodlemorphic from the pasta god. These creatures were declared the best of all by the hedgehog god and the pasta god, but the man god, proud of his individual accomplishments, refused to admit their superiority.
The gods placed the different species of noodle person animals on different islands to keep their bloodlines unique, while humans were allowed to multiply on larger continents, plants and animals were fruitful everywhere, and they seriously just completely lost the Zeti. The monotremes of the noodle person animals were the most ambitious, using their own powers and the powers of what they could find to seek dominion over the world. The humans did similarly, but they were less powerful because their creator was only the man god, and not also the stronger hedgehog god.
The flickies' powers and the conflicts of men and noods, as well as the mysterious force of Gaia (who the man god and hedgehog god and pasta god eventually acknowledged was possibly the actual creator god), the occasional alien visitors, the deal with whatever rings are, nature itself just occasionally manifesting platforming zones, not to mention special stages—none of these compared to the chaos of the Chaos Emeralds, the origin of which none of the gods were quite sure. They would be used so recklessly that the gods knew something had to be done. The man god studied the emeralds and chaos carefully, finally collaborating with the hedgehog god and pasta god to create the Master Emerald, the controller that would unify the chaos.
Three rival platypus clans invoked the gods for hope of saving the world from the rampaging echidna clans. The clans were the Xover, the Auooc, and the Fourthwall. Their cosmic powers and peaceful intentions were such that the gods were deeply intrigued, and became competitive with one another to see who could give their favorite clan the most power. The man god gave the Xover the power to join worlds. The hedgehog god gave the Auooc special power over the forces of this world. The pasta god gave the Fourthwall the power to summon from beyond this world.
The three noodle persons of the race of platypus who wielded these gifts most effectively were among the last few platypuses, fought into the last few corners of ancient South Island. The most prominent of these clans were the Nocturnus and the Knuckles. Long ago, the monotremes of South Island broke out into a conflict that divided echidna against platypus, and then brother against brother. For reasons even the gods didn't understand, the platypuses could not use their cosmic powers against the echidnas.
The three rival platypus clans joined forces as their numbers were dwindling into extinction. Their leaders were edo7ensei of the Xover Clan, Yay of the Auooc Clan, and NinjaBotWizardX of the Fourthwall Clan. While the Nocturnus had technomancers and the Knuckles had soothsayers, the platypus leaders intended to combine their powers for an attack that would annihilate the echidnas' belligerent influence while not harming them directly.
To achieve this, four chao were taken from the altar of the Master Emerald. They were placed in the first chao garden and each was specially conditioned. edo7ensei cared for a chao that was named Olar, who was the strongest of all chao. Yay cared for Lari, the toughest chao. NinjaBotWizardX cared for Sola, the most intelligent chao. The fourth chao, Aris, was left alone, occasionally beaten or starved, for it was to become the most evil of all chao.
The chao interbred and begot six eggs, which were subsequently manipulated using platypus magic. Fortune tellers of the Auooc Clan named the eggs based on what the world would need their names to be. Sola and Aris begot Mephiles. Olar and Lari begot Iblis. Sola and Lari begot an egg that was left nameless. Olar and Lari begot the Time Eater. Sola and Olar begot Illumina, who was destined to fission into Void and Lumina Flowlight. Finally, Aris and Lari begot Argus.
Mephiles and Iblis were sent into the future by the Auooc Clan, as they were destined to become Solaris. The nameless egg was sent into the beyond by the Fourthwall Clan. The Time Eater was sent into the space between time by the Xover Clan; its empty egg shell flew into the sky to become Little Planet. Illumina's egg was charged with dreams borrowed from a being from another world summoned by edo7ensei, whose home was Dream Land and whose power was absorption. Illumina's egg became the Precioustone, and her advent combined with its power to form Maginaryworld.
edo7ensei and NinjaBotWizardX pooled their powers to summon a beast so unspeakable and powerful, its influence was nearly impossible to control. The ancient one drawn from his chains beneath the sea beneath a distant world imparted a small fragment of its insane power to Argus. Yay used the combined power of the seven chaos emeralds, borrowed without harming any of the native chao and thus not enraging Chaos, with the Precioustone to create a world within their world that was yet far away.
When Argus hatched, the maelstrom of powers threatened to tear the world asunder. The three platypus leaders combined their powers one last time to re-imprison Argus in his egg, which had since entered the new world to become the Twilight Cage, but the platypus race was transported as well. Within the Twilight Cage, the Time Eater tore into the universe from the between-space and fought Argus out of mindless, insane rage. The Time Eater was stronger, but Argus was indestructible. Argus was ultimately victorious—but at a cost. The Twilight Cage was fractured from the spacetime continuum of the rest of the universe, and they were sent an unimaginable distance backwards in time. The Time Eater drifted in the vacuum of space, regaining strength to once again strike out against existence.
While space and time were being compromised, the being from the unnamed egg who had been sent away by the Fourthwall Clan returned to usher the four great chao to safety at his side in the beyond. He took them to a magnificent garden crafted from his egg. He also beckoned the gods, the man god and the hedgehog god and the noodle god, who were terrified by the eldritch monsters and followed the one from beyond. He tricked them, however: he led the three back in time to the beginning, whence they lost their memories and set about competing to create life all over again.
The playpus clans became the Precursors of the Twilight Cage. Though their great leaders were gone, they were able to form a society unimpeded by rivals. Soon, Argus began to steal powerful civilizations from their indigenous planets, seemingly driven by the same irrational wickedness as the Time Eater. The Precursors saw that Argus would eventually abduct the Nocturnus Clan when the time came, and understood why their former leaders created the monster. Thus, they created a series of tablets to help those pure of heart should they find themselves trapped in the abhorrent cosmic prison.
On ancient South Island, the disappearance of the platypus clans on the night of a terrible magic-induced storm started a rumor that the Altar of the Emeralds had allowed them transcend their mortal bonds and become gods. This rumor, combined with the Nocturnus' invention of the Gizoid, lead Pachacamac to doom the Knuckles Clan by fighting in vain against Chaos. The destruction of their last rival led the Nocturnus to expand their influence greatly, which attracted the wrath of Argus. Their sprawling civilization disappeared overnight, their story all but erased from history.
Nearly four millennia later, a brilliant scientist genetically engineered the ultimate lifeform with the help of the Black Arms. The being was named Shadow the Hedgehog. Shadow and the scientist, Gerald Robotnik, were incarcerated. Gerald was executed and Shadow was imprisoned. Thirty-two years later, Sonic the Hedgehog was born on Christmas Island. Sixteen years later, Sonic the Hedgehog would begin a campaign of adventure to save the world from Gerald's grandson, Ivo Robotnik, a.k.a. Eggman. Over the course of their engagements, Eggman eventually released Shadow the Hedgehog after fifty years of suspension.
Nearly two hundred years later, Silver the Hedgehog was born. His birth is certain regardless of other eventualities, whether Mephiles reigns terror over the world, Eggman or his descendent Eggman Nega compromises the time stream, or everything works out. This is because his father was immortal, the embodiment of genetic perfection: Shadow the Hedgehog. (A/N: Ignore the fact that Takashi Iizuka says that isn't true.) Throughout his crusade to protect the future from the errors of the past, multiple versions of Silver existed. One such version chose to travel backwards in time around 220 years to Christmas Island, this time without the intention of returning. Here he fell in love with a hedgehog woman, and together they conceived the future hero of the world, Sonic the Hedgehog. (A/N: Headcanon or footlaser? Discuss.)
Silver was attacked by the barely-extant remnants of the echidna race, who had the intention of killing him and his family to prevent the Knuckles Clan's ancient prophecy involving a powerful hedgehog they interpreted to mean the end of their race. Silver fought them off, destroying them, but sustained massive injury. It seemed the prophecy announcing their demise was independent from the one about Sonic. Having a detailed knowledge of time travel, Silver resolved that the only way to stay alive was using the Time Stones of Little Planet. After his wife promised to keep his identity a secret, he left her and Sonic forever.
Knuckles the Echidna was hatched from an egg that was laid by members of the echidna remnants Silver was forced to destroy. Over time, the dwindling Knuckles Clan had been forced to join forces with the very few Nocturnus echidnas left. They developed a system of preparing their monotreme eggs and treating them to be most suited, being able to fend for him/herself from infancy and having unique toughness and strength. These Knuckles Clan eggs could be kept within Nocturnus incubators for years before they needed to be hatched. However, as the echidnas were all destroyed, the incubators were abandoned, lost, and Knuckles became the final echidna—on Earth, at least.
The beyond is the name given to the place that cannot be spoken of, for it transcends the consciousness of the beings of this world. It is said to be the residence of the creators and their species. There are other worlds, some within the same universe or parallel dimensions, many others in totally separate alternate realities, and most others in worlds far removed from anything known in this world, though not as far removed as the beyond. In many of these alternate realities, very similar events take place in a similar timeline. However, these timelines are separate from that of this world, independent of the divergent timelines that constitute possible futures within one reality.
In another reality, nearly the exact same converging eventualities form a slightly different reality. In this dimension, Big the Cat was exiled from the Sol Dimension because he was incompetent in his princely duties; he was the eldest between himself and his sister, Blaze the Cat, but when the crown was to pass to him, it became clear he was more interested in fishing than leading a principality. Thus, he was sent away, stumbling somehow into the Mystic Ruins of South Island.
He was not alone, however: he was in love with a beautiful ocelot woman a few years his junior. Big's power to manipulate water, which he has, was used in combination with Froggy's ability to manipulate earth, which he has (DNA splicing experiments with royal family super powers), to create a palace on the shore of the Mystic Ruins. Big and Blaze's parents had the power to control air, and before their deaths, they willed their power into the Sol Emeralds to strengthen Blaze's flames and give her Burning form increased power.
In this reality, the Black Arms enslaved the wisps. They became too powerful by wielding the Hyper-Go-On and were abducted by Argus into the Twilight Cage. Because their numbers and magic rivaled even the technology and training of the Nocturnus, great strife consumed the races of the Twilight Cage. The conflict ended when Black Doom and Imperator Ix decided to combine their superior genes and superior engineering, respectively, to create a being based on the chthonic beast-god Argus that was intended to defeat him. Black Doom offered his blood to be hybridized with a relic, the flesh of Argus himself, and infused with the power of the wisps using the super science of Nocturne's labs.
The product was not a black hedgehog built to cure disease, no, but an ultramarine cephelapod with a striking resemblance to the echidnas. The ultimate lifeform's name was KEVIN the Octopus.
In the Chaos Dimension of this reality, Gerald Robotnik lacked the means to move from his prototype the Biolizard to a more refined product in light of the fact that the Black Comet was uninhabited. Thus, he focused the ARK's resources on Artificial Chaos and the advancement of chaos drive technology. In this way, he sought to conceive of an invention that could atomize cures within patients. GUN allowed Gerald the possession of the seven Chaos Emeralds, as well as the Master Emerald. Because of the disturbance to the balance of Angel Island and the chao, a chain of events was set into motion.
Because Gerald never created Shadow, Shadow never begat Silver, so Silver was never able to beget Sonic to fulfill the prophecy, so the echidna remnants survived. With no Master Emerald to protect, they never hatched Knuckles. Gerald invented his atomizer and cured NIDS, but continued his research for the next fifty years. Because he continued a rich life of successful research, his grandson Ivo was never turned into an evil-bent megalomaniac. Ivo was intensely interested in anthropology and cybernetics, and he combined these to create OC-R34—an automaton based on the hedgehog from the prophetic mural in the Mystic Ruins and combined with Gerald's advanced chaos research to be a miniature chaos drive factory capable of forming full synthetic Chaos Emeralds.
KEVIN is sent to obtain emeralds for his battle with Argus. Instead of being sent to the Chaos Emeralds and Master Emerald, he appears in the Sol Dimension, attracted instead by the Sol Emeralds and the Jeweled Scepter. He is forced to lay siege against Blaze's land in order to wrest them from her possession, as only with their power could he Control to the Chaos Dimension (as his warp belt is damaged). Blaze falls to him, and with her dying breath she wills her power to Mary Sue the Ocelot. KEVIN performs the necessary rituals and uses the Jeweled Scepter to enter the Chaos Dimension, unaware that the activation of the Power of the Stars without the existence of a guardian causes the geological activity of Blaze's world to go out of control. In addition, the portal he creates becomes a widening tear that threatens to annihilate the barrier between the dimensions; this could have cataclysmic implications.
He travels to South Island and interrogates Big for the location of the Chaos Dimension emeralds. Mary Sue steals the Sol Emeralds from him and fights him, the combination of the monarchs' air and fire powers proving her a worthy opponent to the ultimate lifeform. Big and Froggy will her their powers over water and earth, and she begins to overwhelm KEVIN with her might. However, as Burning Mary Sue, she cannot hope to control her power, so she faints before she can finish him. KEVIN doesn't harm her or her friends, and he begins to feel regret for what he did to her sister-in-law. In penance, he leaves her the Jeweled Scepter.
KEVIN finds the crash-landed Angel Island, which he had heard was a floating island, but had become a sea-bound island in its 50 years of rest. He finds the echidna remnants, stumbling upon them as Eggman Nega reveals his plan to them. He interrupts to announce his nature and origin, revealing the Sol Emeralds. Eggman Nega has knowledge of the Sol Dimension because of some time traveling he'd done there, so he reveals that KEVIN has likely irreversibly damaged the Sol Dimension with his thievery. KEVIN's regret turns to despair, so he resolves that there is nothing he can do; he is here to fulfill his mission, and cannot worry about the consequences. The remnants are overjoyed to hear of the Nocturnus Clan's survival. Eggman Nega educates KEVIN on the history and legends of his stolen artifacts so as to help him wield their power against Chaos, the guardian of chao trapped in the Master Emerald whom he will have to fight for the emeralds.
Princess Elise III, the vessel of Iblis, had been taken to Angel Island by Eggman Nega, who releases Mephiles. He takes the form of Nega's doppelganger, like a Nega Nega. Mephiles offers to help them invoke the power of Illumina, the goddess of dreams, his sister from eons ago. Instead, he absorbs Void, and he uses the power of the Precioustone and the Sol Emeralds to rouse Argus from the Twilight Cage. While he summons his brother, the remnants and Nega are slain. KEVIN becomes Burning KEVIN and escapes while Lumina Flowlight rescues Elise.
Mary Sue is awoken in the care of her husband to find that the portal KEVIN tore had become a vast orb-like mass of expanding, overlapping spacetime. Blaze's world and this world had begun to merge, and they would no doubt end life if they were allowed to persist. Mephiles' invocation of Argus was casting darkness over the world, and tremendous tentacles were beginning to appear in the heavens. Mary Sue creates an elemental maelstrom to combat the threat, but she is too weak. Big the Cat uses the Jeweled Scepter to channel the Power of the Stars leaking from the portal to empower her, and with the Jeweled Scepter in her possession, she is able to attract the attention of Argus and Mephiles.
Burning KEVIN is en route to the ARK, but sees that Mary Sue is fighting the gods on her own and returns to aid her. Meanwhile, the Time Eater senses that the Twilight Cage is without its guardian so he moves upon it and begins consuming its spatiotemporal mass. Doom and Ix are forced to combat it, and Shade is sent to inform KEVIN using a warp belt. Sadly, as she leaves, the Time Eater is successful in consuming the Twilight Cage in its entirety, thereby fully regaining his strength. Shade appears in the ARK, attracted to the power of the emeralds there. She cannot find KEVIN, but instead stumbles upon the lab in which the emeralds are being held. She meets Rouge and is forced to fight.
Meanwhile, the GUN forces on the ARK and elsewhere are scrambled to intercept the "situation" occurring on South Island (the quickly expanding portal and the monster crawling into existence). Shade is also engaged by OC-R34, but by hacking its programming with Nocturnus-style combat, it turns instead on Rouge. Shade approaches the Master Emerald and begins to set the warp belt to transport it, when OC-R34 inadvertently throws Rouge into it and shatters it. Chaos is released and begins rampaging. Artificial Chaos are sent against him, but when Chaos absorbs all of the Chaos Emeralds, it all but destroys the ARK, killing the numerous important people on board. The only survivor is OC-R34, which is holding its own against the monster. Tikal's spirit appears to Burning KEVIN and Mary Sue to tell him the catastrophe that is taking place.
Argus has completely entered the space around the planet. During the fight, Mephiles disappears and fights Lumina for Elise. Mary Sue follows him into the dream world. Unfortunately, he knifes Elise in the combat. Burning KEVIN fights Argus, causing horrible destruction, and destroys him. The Time Eater reaches Earth, and he throws the ARK down into the atmosphere, whereupon it crashes to the ground and causes cataclysm. Mary Sue escapes the dream world while Mephiles bathes himself in the Flames of Disaster and absorbs Lumina Flowlight. Chaos attacks Burning KEVIN, who joins forces with OC-R34 while the Time Eater approaches. Mary Sue joins as well, and when Chaos is destroyed, she uses the Chaos Emeralds to become Super Mary Sue. While Burning KEVIN and OC-R34 deal with the Time Eater, Super Mary Sue assembles the Master Emerald and maximizes the energy from the Emeralds so that they become Hyper Mary Sue and Hyper KEVIN.
The Time Eater begins to inhale the spatiotemporal material of the planet. Even while time is being annihilated, Team OC easily destroys the Time Eater. While silence falls and it seems they have emerged victorious. However, Mephiles (the evil and intelligence of Solaris) has joined with both Iblis (the body and strength of Solaris) and Illumina (the intelligence and strength of Solaris), creating a being that is 1½ Solarises. It destroys all time and pulls Team OC into a tabula rasa universe, where they defeat the Solaris-and-a-half. Because they have, alone, destroyed all of the worst monsters in existence, reality implodes and the three are subsequently dumped into the void of the beyond. Mary Sue, KEVIN, and OC-R34 spend the next eternity getting to know one another. Eventually, they find themselves transported to the true reality.
Wasn't that fun?