Nonrefundable

Summary: Birthdays aren't supposed to be this difficult… StantonxSerena fluff for ShatteredDiamonds

AN: This story is for ShatteredDiamonds, who posted the idea on my forum, so all credit for the plot goes to her! I altered it a little bit, I hope you still like it! It has two parts! Ooo…Ahh...

Takes place before Serena's sixteenth birthday.

Italics are flashbacks.

I'm really done now .

Part One: Stanton Seeks Professional Help

Stanton sat in his apartment's kitchen, rapidly flipping through those advertisements that they place in the middle of the newspaper. His eyes darted across each page, praying desperately something would 'speak to him' and this whole crisis could be avoided.

What crisis, you ask?

It had all started earlier that day, when he had been woken up by his cell phone.

Groggily, still in his bed half asleep, Stanton picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Stanton?" Came the voice of his girlfriend, Serena.

Upon recognition of the voice, Stanton immediately perked up slightly, "Good morning," He said a little smoother.

A stifled giggle came from the other end, "You realize it's almost noon, right?"

Stanton cringed a bit, but said easily, "I am a nocturnal kind of guy."

A relaxed sigh this time, followed by, "Well, anyways, get your semi-conscious mind to pay as much attention to this as you can."

"I'll do my best," He said dryly.

"My dad's forcing me to throw a party."

"Oh, the horror."

"Doofus, it's for my birthday-" She continued.

It clicked then, and Stanton could feel himself pale slightly, "Isn't that not until Friday?" He could sense that he was forgetting something.

"Yes, but dad's going away for the weekend on business, so we're going to have it tomorrow."

What the hell was he missing? It was practically staring him in the face, but he couldn't pick up on it. "Neat?" He ventured.

Another laugh from the other end, and Stanton felt a bit of warm fuzzies when he pictured his girlfriend smiling, "Dad's insisting that you come, Collin too." He felt his stomach drop as her tone picked up a mischievous quality, "They both really want to meet you."

Oh, shit. "Me meeting your father probably isn't the best idea-"

"Stanton, please? It'd mean a lot…" Serena coaxed into the phone, "It's my birthday," She continued, dealing out the heavy ammo.

Double shit. Stanton inwardly berated himself for falling in love with the only girl who could work puppy eyes over the phone, "I'll be there," He affirmed, grudgingly. What the hell was he forgetting, though?

"Great! It's at seven o'clock at my house, so I'll see you then?" She asked sweetly, obviously happy to 'win'.

"Of course," He said, grinning a bit despite himself, "I'll see you tomorrow night."

"Bye Stanton! Thanks for doing this!"

"Goodbye," Stanton said before clicking the end button.

"Aren't you supposed to do the whole, 'I wuv you', 'No, I wuv you', 'Well I wuv you the MOST!', 'No, I wuv YOU the MOST', bit?" Came a deep voice from his doorway.

Stanton pressed his eyelids tight before rolling over on his bed, his gaze landing on his subordinate, Tymmie, casually leaning in the doorway. Raw panic filled him for a moment, as he worried over how much the Initiate had heard.

"How long have you been there?" Stanton said icily, staring him down.

Tymmie seemed to shirk a bit, straightening up and lifting his hands in a 'I surrender!' pose, "Not long, your new chick that bad?" He said, a bit of jeering injected into his tone that Stanton immediately didn't like.

"For your information, vast as it is," Stanton made sure to inject the proper amount of sarcasm into his voice, "She's nowhere near 'bad', and you better have a good reason for coming into my room without permission."

Tymmie blinked, "I got a call from Yvonne, seems like a meeting is going on at The Dungeon, and she wants you to be present."

Stanton's eyes widened.

Present.

Present!

PRESENT!

Triple shit!

Tymmie had barely managed to dodge the cell phone as it came flying towards his head.

Now, two hours later, here he was, an Immortal Follower who had faced centuries of war, famine, and disease reduced to flipping through coupon magazines. Although Stanton wasn't totally inept at buying presents for girls in this modern time, Vanessa's little pillow being a rather quality example if he thought so himself, everything he had looked at just seemed…wrong for Serena. It wasn't as if he could give the love of his life a socket wrench set for $19.95, or four liters of Pepsi products, taking advantage of their two-for-one deal.

He tossed the advertisements to the side, cradling his head in his hands. Why did shopping for girls have to be so hard?

Just at that moment, Kelly sauntered into the kitchen, walking towards the fridge, "Good morning sir!" She chirped.

Stanton didn't feel the need to tell her it was well past noon, "Uh," He replied, thumbing through a different section of the ads.

"Do you want any cereal while I've got everything out?" Came her constantly up-beat voice.

Stanton bit down the scathing remark about how concocting cereal didn't exactly require any culinary finesse, but he choked it down when an epiphany hit him. "Kelly you're a girl." He said in wonder, as if observing for the very first time.

The blonde Initiate sent him a baffled look, "Yes, I am?"

Excitement filled Stanton as he realized a way to solve his problem, "Kelly, when you're dating a guy, what kind of things do you expect from him?"

"Well, he absolutely has to be great at making out-"

"Presents, Kelly. I meant presents."

"Oh!" Absolute bliss engulfed her features as she sat down at the table across from him, "I looove presents!"

"…Neat."

She paused, munching on some Cap'n Crunch, "I always like steak." She said simply, "Oh! Or popcorn!"

The Immortal looked at her in awe, wondering what was with the petite girl's food fixation, "Steak?"

Kelly nodded vigorously, "Absolutely! A man's got class when he gets you steak!"

"…So, like taking you out to dinner?" Stanton supplied, trying to follow that rather bizarre line of reasoning.

The girl rolled her eyes, "I guess, if they're going to be boring about it." She stared at him for a moment, "Anything else you need sir?"

Slowly, Stanton shook his head, "No thank you, Kelly, that was rather…educational," He said quickly, backing out of the room.

He sighed as soon as he had left the kitchen, making a mental note to never ask Kelly for advice again. He walked into the living room of the apartment, and noticed both Murray and Karyl crashing on the sofa and watching b-rated horror movies.

"What the hell," He mumbled to himself before walking into the living room. Upon seeing him, both Karyl and Murray straightened a bit, trying to look more presentable and less like slobs.

"Hi," Murray said rather pathetically.

"Do you need anything?" Came Karyl.

"Actually, I need your advice," Stanton said, taking a seat on a nearby recliner, "When you're dating someone, what do you usually get them for their birthday?"

Both seemed to mull this over.

"Beer," Said Karyl bluntly.

"Underwear." Replied Murray, before pausing in thought and quickly correcting himself, "Sexy underwear."

Stanton stood up and quickly exited the living room area.

"Glad we could be of help!" Yelled Karyl over his shoulder and turned towards Murray, "What's with him?"

Murray shrugged, "Who knows?"

Stanton could feel sanity quickly ebbing away from him. He didn't know what to get Serena for her sixteenth birthday, which is still apparently a big deal nowadays, and the only people he could ask for ideas were complete morons.

"What's wrong?"

Speaking of morons.

"Tymmie, if you're dating a girl-"

"That chick you were on the phone with?" Tymmie inquired, comprehension dawning on his face, "Is she hot?"

Stanton sighed, "Just forget it Tymmie."

Tymmie looked slightly offended, "Hey, I can help, what's your problem?"

The leader stared at his lackey for a few beats, before deciding he had nothing to exactly loose, "Alright, when you're dating a girl, what would you get her for her birthday?"

Tymmie rose an index finger to his chin in a contemplative manner, "I think it's best if you get something honest, romantic, and sensitive. A girl won't be impressed by the price tag on your gift, but rather how much heart and love you placed into choosing her present." He paused, "It's the sentimentality that girls dig the most, they want something meaningful and deep."

Stanton stared at him, momentarily shocked, "Wow, Tymmie, that was really quite profound."

He nodded, still appearing introspective, "So what I'm saying, Stanton, is that you should really get her some sexy underwear-Hey! Where are you going?"

Stanton ignored him as he trudged into his room, slamming the door shut. He sunk onto his bed. This was, ironically, hopeless. Buying a present for Serena shouldn't be this difficult, yet there were so many components to look at. It should be romantic, but not skeezy, and definitely not something she can't open in front of her father and brother. He slapped his palm against his forehead. He had asked everyone: Kelly, Murray, Karyl, Tymmie, and-

Wait, there was still Cassandra.

Stanton thought really deeply over what Cassandra would suggest he get a girl.

He had asked everyone…

Resigned, Stanton realized there was only one thing left to do.

He was going to The Professionals.

OoO

Becky the Salesclerk sighed with boredom as she drummed her long, red acrylic fingernails against the glass counter of the perfume section in the department store where she worked. She was absolutely bored, it was the afternoon on a week day, and the place was dead. Duh-head. So far, the only people she had been helping were little old ladies with little dirty purses and they were just so boring. And almost dead. Duh-head.

"Excuse me?" Came a deep voice to her side.

Becky the Salesclerk immediately jumped up into 'ready to sell' position, a fake smile spread across her face, "Hi there may I hel…" Her perky voice trailed off as she laid eyes on her customer. "Help?" She squeaked.

The man was breathtakingly handsome, almost pretty even. His blond hair was slightly shaggy, hanging in front of his impossibly blue eyes. The way he stood exuded confidence, and it took all of Becky the Salesclerk's self-restraint not to strip down at that very moment and have her way with-

"Excuse me," He cut her off, appearing slightly red in the cheeks.

Becky the Salesclerk paled when she realized she had been commenting the eye candy in front of her out loud, "Ohmygosh I'm so sorry! Can I help you with anything?" She attempted to amend.

"Actually, yes…" The handsome stranger said, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly, "I'm looking for a gift for my girlfriend's birthday."

Inwardly, Becky the Salesclerk fumed. That slut! Stealing her man!

Outwardly, she was still as peppy as ever, "Okay, sure! What are you looking for?"

"Something that says 'I love you despite my having a damnable existence and the possibility that I may corrupt your soul in irreversible ways' and is NOT sexy underwear." He spouted off instantly.

Becky the Salesclerk's jaw dropped, "Um…right then."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

That's it for part one! I hope you liked it .

Up Next: Stanton attends Serena's birthday party, will his present be the BEST PRESENT EVER?!

!nym!