Disclaimer - I do not own Hamtaro, which is probably a good thing, because if I did, then there would be a heck of a lot more slash than it probably needs.
Notes - This pairing needs more love. I'm not an extremely skilled or disciplined author. So, naturally, I went and wrote a story about it. Reviews are always appreciated, especially if you can help me to improve my writing!
Warning - Humanized, aged-up hamsters. No, they don't have hamster ears or anything, they're just plain old humans. However, I've tried to keep their personalities intact... which is difficult, considering it's been so long since I've seen the show... hmm. ALSO. HOWDY/DEXTER SLASH AHOY. If you don't like it, well, you can't say that I didn't warn you. Oh, and the rating may or may not go up.
Dexter winced as the sharp, clanging sound of rusted old chimes attached to the creaky old door announced his arrival at Sunflower Market. A century must have passed since the last time someone bothered to take some steel wool to it, and it showed: brick-red residue caked the outside of the once-gleaming metal, and whatever silver managed to survive the rust's invasion had been reduced to a dull and dusty gray, refusing to reflect even the brightest rays of light. The chimes themselves dangled precariously from frayed strings attached to an equally corroded iron circle, which hung half an inch in front of the door so that whenever it swung open, it would brush underneath the chimes, setting off a cacophony that never failed to make Dexter's poor ears ache in agony.
And when he heard the next greeting, Dexter knew that today was not destined to be his day.
"Hey, Dex!" Ugh, that voice. Ladled with a Southern accent and a grating, high-pitched tone that hardly fit a man of twenty-two years, the fact that Dexter heard it now could only mean one thing.
It was Howdy's shift.
"Good t' see ya!" Howdy flashed a grin from the counter he stood at, his two overgrown front teeth preventing the other teeth from fully coming together, which gave him his trademark jack-o-lantern look. "Anythin' here that catches yer eye? 'Cause we got four of 'em!" He cracked up at his own joke, slamming the granite counter with his fist so hard that even Boss would have been able to feel it from three miles away. "Ya geddit? 'Cause you've got four eyes, what with yer glasses 'n all!"
Dexter's eyelid twitched slightly from behind aforementioned glasses, quite obviously not amused. "You didn't have to explain, I was perfectly aware of the punch line. In fact," he said, now glaring at Howdy, "the joke ceased to be funny the very moment you decided to explain it. Of course, that's a moot point, considering that-"
"Well, excuse me, Princess!" Howdy crossed his arms over his faded red apron, even more trademarked than his buck-toothed grin. "What's got your panties all up in a knot today?"
Oh, how Dexter wanted to deck that obnoxious idiot all the way to the vegetable aisle and back. However, he was far too refined to resort to such primitive methods of dealing with his frustration, so he stood up a little straighter, puffed out his chest a little farther, and did his best to look down at Howdy (a difficult feat considering that Dexter wasn't even an inch taller than him) as he said, "Nothing that you would either know or care about." He adjusted his bow tie, trying to look important.
Howdy noticed. "Aw, c'mon, Dex, don't give me that 'holier-than-thou' attitude! I'm a friend, aren't I? And I wanna know what's goin' on with my friend! Izzat too much to ask?"
"I would hardly classify us as 'friends'." But both Dexter and Howdy knew full well that was a flat-out lie. They were friends, and fairly close ones at that, since they had known each other since the beginning of sixth grade, the dramatic and hormonal hellhole that mankind fearfully knows as "middle school". Though there had been other friends they got to know and grew to love while serving their time there, something between those two had just "clicked" ever since the day that Dexter grudgingly let Howdy copy his math homework, and then Howdy insisted on repaying him by cleaning out the horribly disgusting desk that the teacher had assigned to Dexter. Number 19. The desk that everyone knew but no one, not even the custodians, dared to conquer. That is, until Howdy had taken a cleaning cloth and half a dozen containers of Clorox to it. Dexter never admitted it, but knowing that someone was willing to brave grody bologna and cockroach nests for *his* sake made him feel more euphoric than he had since his first Christmas, and perhaps even more so. After all, he had never even seen Santa, never mind let him copy off his homework. And once you do something so dangerous for someone, and then they do something equally dangerous for your sake... well, it's almost impossible not to be friends.
They bickered whenever they possibly could because of their friendship: why waste time venting things you don't mean to someone who might get their feelings hurt, they figured, when you could just fight with a friend who understood that all the insults, all of the blows were just to let out whatever animosity they couldn't unleash upon anyone else? However, that didn't mean that Howdy couldn't tell when Dexter was just all steamed up about something stupid and when he really was honest-to-goodness upset. And his instincts told him that this was definitely the latter of the two.
"Dex. Don't be difficult, now." Howdy propped up his head with his forearms as though preparing for a story, elbows pushing down onto the countertop. "Just tell me what's wrong, all right? I'll listen."
Dexter looked like he wished he hadn't said anything at all. "It's nothing, I assure you."
"Now, wait just a goldarn second! First it was nothing I'd know about, 'n then when I wanna know, it' nothing at all? Seems pretty convenient to me." Though Howdy knew that Dexter's demeanor towards him wasn't exactly a bucketful of love most of the time, he wasn't normally this determined to be so difficult, especially since nobody else was around to see whatever weakness he felt he would show by acting kindly towards Howdy.
But right now, Dexter looked like he was about to cut someone, or at least the candy assortment displayed right next to the cash register, which he was now glaring at, like the Hershey bars were the source of all his problems. "You really don't know when to just let a subject drop, do you?"
Once again, Howdy was possessed by a strange force that told him that now was the time to tell another bad joke. "Never, on account of not wantin' them t' get hurt on the way down! Get it? 'Cause if yer droppin' a subject-"
"Just... save it for Pashmina, all right?" Dexter couldn't have been more exasperated if he had decided to spend the day trying to have intelligent conversation with a wall. "That is, if you want her ears to burst into flames from the sound of your terrible jokes."
Aside from Howdy's sense of humor (or lack thereof), Pashmina really was the only true source of friction between the frenemies, considering that they both had been engaged in a contest for her affections ever since the beginning of ninth grade, the PDA-ridden and SAT prep-filled hellhole that mankind not-so-fearfully knows as "high school." Evidently, neither Howdy nor Dexter had ever heard of the phrase "bros before hoes," so whenever the subject of Pashmina was brought up, they were at each other's throats: trying to outdo each other's attempts to flirt, arguing over which one Pashmina liked best... neither of their parents had been happy when the boys had almost strangled each other over who would get to be Pashmina's date to the prom, and then didn't even listen when poor Maxwell tried to tell them that she was already going with Bernard, or Panda, as everyone else called him because of the black-rimmed goggles that he could never be seen without.
Now that all the drama of high school was over, neither Dexter nor Howdy was sure if they really did like Pashmina anymore, or if they just wanted another excuse to fight with each other. But whether they did or not, she still was a sensitive subject, complete with some excruciating memories for both of them, so it was no surprise that, upon hearing Pashmina's name, Howdy instantly switched over to the defensive.
"Hey, at least she likes me better than some weirdo who can't even see three feet in front of him without his glasses!" He glared pointedly at Dexter, waiting to see what kind of insult he would come up with next.
However, when Dexter just nodded and walked right by his counter like nothing had even happened ... well, Howdy couldn't have been more shocked than if Hamtaro and Bijou finally resolved all of their pent-up sexual tension for each other right in the middle of the store.
And speaking of Hamtaro...
The chimes clanged together once again, proclaiming the arrival of a youth with wild orange hair, perpetually muddy tennis shoes (Howdy would have to mop up his trail after he left), and a grin that made everyone else wonder how it could possibly fit on his face. "Hamha, Howdy!"
Howdy perked up noticeably upon hearing the teenager's signature greeting, part of a secret language that he had helped to develop when they were young and (not so) innocent in middle school. "Hamtaro! Great t' see yer face around here! Need groceries? 'Cause we've got 'em!"
"Thanks! Actually, I just need the usual for today, so I'll be in and out pretty quickly." "The usual" consisted of the ingredients for the sandwich that gave Hamtaro his nickname: white bread; smoked ham; and taro, a peculiar-smelling leaf that Howdy had went to great efforts to get stocked in the store just for his younger friend's convenience. Many a person had tried the sandwich and spat it out in disgust, but for some reason, Hamtaro just couldn't get enough of it.
"You sure that's it? Nothing Laura asked you t' get on the way out?" Though Howdy knew that Hamtaro really was a great guy at heart, he did have a tendency to be a bit absent-minded at times. It wasn't uncommon for him to forget minor things, such as a grocery list, when a meeting was, his homework... come to think if it, didn't he have some stuff to fill out for college right about now?
"Hmm..." Hamtaro furrowed his eyebrows in concentration, a ghost of a frown flashing so quickly that maybe it wasn't even there to begin with. Then, his eyes suddenly became twice as wide as realization went off through his brain as though Howdy had connected the light bulb in his head to a power outlet. "Ah, crud! Totally forgot! I gotta get something for Pashmina's birthday! It's in a few days, isn't it?"
Howdy didn't answer right away because he just remembered that he, too, had almost forgotten Pashmina's birthday. How did that happen? Usually, he would have had an extravagant gift planned out for her over a month ago, and now, he didn't even remember when she was born? But a quick glance at the calendar hanging on the wall by the door told him that yes, he had forgotten.
Something must be seriously wrong with him.
Howdy just realized that his mouth had been hanging open for the past minute. He inhaled sharply to clear his head, not wanting Hamtaro to worry about his memory lapse. After all, he'd probably conclude that Howdy had Alzheimer's or some other terrible mind-devouring disease, and he already had enough on his plate, what with taking care of Laura and all. "Sure is! You have any idea what you're going to get her?" As he asked, Howdy made a mental note to look through the cash register to find some foreign coins that someone had paid him with the other day. Pashmina had a currency collection going, and if he wrapped them up nice and neat in a pretty box with a handmade card, then he'd have the perfect gift! That is, if she didn't already have those coins to begin with... hmm, he'd have to make another mental note to indiscreetly ask her about that.
"I think I'll... uh." Hamtaro stalled, the long pause answering Howdy's question. "Maybe I'll... aw, I'm pulling a total blanko here..." He tapped his forehead in frustration, trying his hardest to think of something, anything that he could give his friend for her special day.
Howdy decided that this was a good time to help the poor guy out and drop a joke on him, just to cheer him up. "Y'know, I just saw Dex come in here a while ago. Maybe you could ask 'im to 'present' ya with an idea! Ha ha, geddit? 'Present'?"
If this was a girl's romantic comedy anime, then Hamtaro would have had a large sweat drop sliding down the back of his head, or, as the kids call it these days, he would have 'sweatdropped.' "Um... yeah, I'm just going to go find Dexter. Thanks for the idea!" And just like that, Hamtaro went off like a rocket, shooting down the aisles, completely ignoring the store's "no running" policy.
Howdy finished chuckling to himself as he watched the youth take off, not bothering to enforce said "no running" policy. "Gonna have a heck of a time cleanin' up after him..."