Inspired by peekbelowthesurface's drabble meme prompt #12, "insanity" on Tumblr. Sarah/patientalien/thishereanakinguy challenged me to tune it to Anakin/Obi-Wan somehow, and the idea just sort of fell into my/everybody else's laps simultaneously, I think.
Little Black-and-Blue Dress
"Master. Masterrr. Master, come look at this."
Obi-Wan sighs, even as his legs carry him out of a sense of the vaguest obligation and concern to the room opposite his favored worn armchair, where Anakin perches in a somewhat less cozy chair, peering at something on the Holonet. "Okay, ready?" Anakin asks, and then, when Obi-Wan says nothing either way, moves slightly away from the screen. "What color is this dress, would you say?"
Obi-Wan's brow furrows. "Why?"
Anakin's expression is maddeningly mysterious, now. "Just, tell me what colors you see."
Obi-Wan shrugs. "It's blue. And black."
Anakin looks horrified. "No kriffing way."
"What?"
"Seriously?" Anakin bleats. He peers closer at the screen. "It, you don't even think the piping is gold?"
Obi-Wan makes an annoyed noise in the back of his throat. "I suppose if you tilt the screen, but it's still like a washed-out black."
"And blue?" Anakin demands. Obi-Wan nods. "Kriff. KRIFF!" he yells, slamming his artificial hand down beside the keyboard with a heavy-fisted thud.
Obi-Wan startles. "Anakin, what in the blazes!" he yells, but Anakin is waving him off while reaching for his commlink, all the while mumbling something about how "Ahsoka'll solve this for us, she's gotta agree with me, I'm her Master."
Unfortunately, things escalate considerably in the time it takes for Ahsoka to recognize from the sound of lightsabers being ignited even over the crackling commlink that this might be a conversation better had face-to-face. Sure enough, she arrives in the nick of time. Anakin has Obi-Wan cornered, while the shorter Jedi Master stands, legs apart for balance, on the couch in their shared living room. "The Chancellor said it was white-and-gold, too," Anakin says heatedly.
"Anakin, Chancellor Palpatine is old and his eyesight's probably failing him. You saw yourself in that swear word-enhanced memo that Master Windu sent out on behalf of the Council that those with higher functioning retinas see the colors more accurately - in this case, black-and-blue."
"From my point of view, the white-and-gold combination is more accurate," Anakin bristles.
"Well, then, you are blind!" Obi-Wan bites back in frustration. It's then that they both finally seem to notice Ahsoka, who is busy having fifth thoughts about coming over, to say the least. "Snips, what do your togruta eyes see?" Anakin asks.
Ahsoka rolls said togruta eyes. "The dress is blue-and-black," she says matter-of-factly.
"See, Anakin? I have the higher functioning cones," Obi-Wan notes blithely. "Come now, let's put this silly feud behind us." He switches off his lightsaber, and prepares to exit his perch.
Before he can do so, however, Anakin lunges closer, shoving his own lightsaber nary an inch from Obi-Wan's face; a couple of errant beard hairs sizzle in response. "I bet you think this lightsaber blade is the wrong color, too," he says bitterly. Behind them, Ahsoka watches in fearful apprehension.
Obi-Wan, however, is nonplussed by Anakin's theatrics. "No, it's blue, like the dress." Reaching forward, he shuts the offending blade off himself, and uses the Force in a well-chosen pique of judiciousness to tuck the hilt back into Anakin's own utility belt. "I'm going to bed," he announces, and gestures vaguely behind him while Anakin and Ahsoka both blink in stunned silence at the sudden turn of events. "Anakin, do clean up the mess before you turn in. Goodnight, Ahsoka."
"Huh," Ahsoka finally says, and Anakin kicks Obi-Wan's chair.