Hi everyone. I have decided to try my hand at humor. Now I think this is
funny, but I'm not sure if you will because I have a very sick sense of
humor. By the way, this is a one shot.
And I know Hermione seems a bit OOC but if you had a morning like this then you would act the way she does, no matter who you were.
Title: Why did I even get up?
Author: DoG^StAr4
Genre: Humor
Rating: PG-13. The ratings only there for swearing. Oh yeah, and the house elf threats.
Characters: Hermione prominently, but Harry and Ron are in it at the end. Oh, and there's mentions of Lavender.
Summary: Hermione, studying for a big arithmancy test, stays up late and sleeps late the next morning. Now the race is on to get to potions before Professor Snape notices she missing. But can she do this without killing herself in the process?
_________________________________________________
At 7am on the 21st of September Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was stirring. At 8am everyone was up and going about their business. Everyone, that is, except Hermione Granger.
Hermione, you see, had an upcoming arithmancy test and she was up all night cramming because she believed that it was never to early to be prepared.
At 10am Hermione finally awoke. Stirring, she rolled over and glanced at her clock.
"10.00" she muttered before rolling back over.
A few seconds passed before she sat straight up in bed.
"Shit!" she screamed, "I'm late for potions!"
After quickly kicking her legs out of bed Hermione made to stand up before being pulled straight down to the ground by the sheets wrapped around her feet. Muttering about "Bloody linen." she quickly picked herself up and sprinted to the bathroom.
Hurriedly undressing, cursing the fact that she did not think to bathe the night before, she ran over to the shower cubicle and slammed into the glass door.
Picking herself up off of the floor once again Hermione opened the shower door and hopped inside.
"Stupid, bloody shower door. I'll give it a piece of my mind."
Flicking the showerhead onto 'hot' Hermione stiffened as freezing cold water hit her from all angles. Hopping from foot to foot impatiently, waiting for the water to turn hot, she flicked the head to 'cold' just to see what would happen. When nothing happened she mumbled a few rounds of, "Shit, Shit, Bloody Shit" before stepping out and looking for a towel.
After a few seconds of carefully surveying the room she spotted a moldy, damp towel in an equally moldy and damp corner.
"Stupid Bloody house elves! Can't do their damned jobs. I'll string them up by their ears. You can be sure as hell I'm not gonna be knitting them anymore hats!"
After gingerly covering herself in the rotting piece of material, Hermione carefully walked back into her room trying her hardest not to go arse up.
She failed. Lavender had left one of her hairbrushes on the floor and guess who stepped on it. Yep, that's right, Hermione.
After hopping around cursing whichever God invented hair care Hermione walked over to her bureau.
Rummaging around looking for something to wear, she came to the conclusion that the house elves needed their arses kicked. Walking over to her trunk she rummaged through until she produced a sluttish looking corset and panty set.
"Now I know I swore I would never wear this, but, I'm desperate." She exclaimed out loud.
"Shit. I'm going nuts." She said, "talking to myself."
After pulling on the offending particulars she reached into her robe to grab her uniform.
After struggling to put it on she spun around and surveyed herself in the mirror Lavender had.
"Shit, shit, double shit! My uniforms too small!"
All Hermione had to wear was a uniform from her second year and, like most people, she had grown since then. Four years does that too you.
Overall, the thigh high skirt, shirt so tight it was above her belly button, loosened tie, and black and red corset, the effect was rather slutty.
"Shit! But I don't want to miss anymore of my lessons." She whinged, "I'll just cover myself up with my robe."
After putting on the ankle length robe and studding it tightly she set off down the stairs not even trying to tame her hair.
As she was hurrying her way down the giant flight of stairs she tripped over her untied shoelaces and tumbled the rest of the way down. After landing in a heap at the bottom she stood up with her robe open and hair even more disheveled then what it was when she awoke. Not looking around the common room and realised she had forgotten her books. "Shit, bloody hell, damn it. I forgot my books!"
"Hermione?!?" came a shocked voice.
"Harry?" she said, looking at the two young men playing chess in the middle of the room. "Why aren't you two in class?"
"Jeez Hermione, I didn't know you could swear like that and, its Saturday. Remember, day after Friday, comes before Sunday?" Ron said, still shocked that such foul language could come out of Hermione.
Hermione stood there, openly gaping at the Harry and Ron who were glancing at each other in an unsure way.
After a few moments time she let out a frustrated "aarrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!" before storming up to the dormitory.
"Hermione" Ron called out to her before she could get too far, "Why do you look like a slut?"
Hermione turned around to face him and gave him the one-fingered salute before disappearing.
"Must be that time of the month." Ron whispered to Harry.
And I know Hermione seems a bit OOC but if you had a morning like this then you would act the way she does, no matter who you were.
Title: Why did I even get up?
Author: DoG^StAr4
Genre: Humor
Rating: PG-13. The ratings only there for swearing. Oh yeah, and the house elf threats.
Characters: Hermione prominently, but Harry and Ron are in it at the end. Oh, and there's mentions of Lavender.
Summary: Hermione, studying for a big arithmancy test, stays up late and sleeps late the next morning. Now the race is on to get to potions before Professor Snape notices she missing. But can she do this without killing herself in the process?
_________________________________________________
At 7am on the 21st of September Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was stirring. At 8am everyone was up and going about their business. Everyone, that is, except Hermione Granger.
Hermione, you see, had an upcoming arithmancy test and she was up all night cramming because she believed that it was never to early to be prepared.
At 10am Hermione finally awoke. Stirring, she rolled over and glanced at her clock.
"10.00" she muttered before rolling back over.
A few seconds passed before she sat straight up in bed.
"Shit!" she screamed, "I'm late for potions!"
After quickly kicking her legs out of bed Hermione made to stand up before being pulled straight down to the ground by the sheets wrapped around her feet. Muttering about "Bloody linen." she quickly picked herself up and sprinted to the bathroom.
Hurriedly undressing, cursing the fact that she did not think to bathe the night before, she ran over to the shower cubicle and slammed into the glass door.
Picking herself up off of the floor once again Hermione opened the shower door and hopped inside.
"Stupid, bloody shower door. I'll give it a piece of my mind."
Flicking the showerhead onto 'hot' Hermione stiffened as freezing cold water hit her from all angles. Hopping from foot to foot impatiently, waiting for the water to turn hot, she flicked the head to 'cold' just to see what would happen. When nothing happened she mumbled a few rounds of, "Shit, Shit, Bloody Shit" before stepping out and looking for a towel.
After a few seconds of carefully surveying the room she spotted a moldy, damp towel in an equally moldy and damp corner.
"Stupid Bloody house elves! Can't do their damned jobs. I'll string them up by their ears. You can be sure as hell I'm not gonna be knitting them anymore hats!"
After gingerly covering herself in the rotting piece of material, Hermione carefully walked back into her room trying her hardest not to go arse up.
She failed. Lavender had left one of her hairbrushes on the floor and guess who stepped on it. Yep, that's right, Hermione.
After hopping around cursing whichever God invented hair care Hermione walked over to her bureau.
Rummaging around looking for something to wear, she came to the conclusion that the house elves needed their arses kicked. Walking over to her trunk she rummaged through until she produced a sluttish looking corset and panty set.
"Now I know I swore I would never wear this, but, I'm desperate." She exclaimed out loud.
"Shit. I'm going nuts." She said, "talking to myself."
After pulling on the offending particulars she reached into her robe to grab her uniform.
After struggling to put it on she spun around and surveyed herself in the mirror Lavender had.
"Shit, shit, double shit! My uniforms too small!"
All Hermione had to wear was a uniform from her second year and, like most people, she had grown since then. Four years does that too you.
Overall, the thigh high skirt, shirt so tight it was above her belly button, loosened tie, and black and red corset, the effect was rather slutty.
"Shit! But I don't want to miss anymore of my lessons." She whinged, "I'll just cover myself up with my robe."
After putting on the ankle length robe and studding it tightly she set off down the stairs not even trying to tame her hair.
As she was hurrying her way down the giant flight of stairs she tripped over her untied shoelaces and tumbled the rest of the way down. After landing in a heap at the bottom she stood up with her robe open and hair even more disheveled then what it was when she awoke. Not looking around the common room and realised she had forgotten her books. "Shit, bloody hell, damn it. I forgot my books!"
"Hermione?!?" came a shocked voice.
"Harry?" she said, looking at the two young men playing chess in the middle of the room. "Why aren't you two in class?"
"Jeez Hermione, I didn't know you could swear like that and, its Saturday. Remember, day after Friday, comes before Sunday?" Ron said, still shocked that such foul language could come out of Hermione.
Hermione stood there, openly gaping at the Harry and Ron who were glancing at each other in an unsure way.
After a few moments time she let out a frustrated "aarrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!" before storming up to the dormitory.
"Hermione" Ron called out to her before she could get too far, "Why do you look like a slut?"
Hermione turned around to face him and gave him the one-fingered salute before disappearing.
"Must be that time of the month." Ron whispered to Harry.