The Wonderful Winston of Oz
"Hello?" called Dana. She walked into the old firehouse with her infant son Oscar in her arms. "Peter? Anybody?"
"Up here, Dana!" called Peter from upstairs. Dana climbed up the stairs. She entered the room where her friends Ray, Egon, Winston, Janine, and her boyfriend Peter were sitting in front of the TV. "Hey, Dana! How's it going?" said Ray cheerfully.
Dana smiled. "I'm fine." She handed Oscar to Peter.
"You want a Coke or something?" asked Ray.
"Sure."
Ray hopped up from the couch and headed over to the fridge. He pulled out a soda. "Here, catch!" he called over to Dana.
Ray tossed the Coke over to Dana. It slipped through her outstretched hands and…
Wham! The can banged Dana in the head.
"Ooh!" she groaned as she dropped the floor.
"Oh my God!" shouted Janine. They all hurried over to the woman lying on the floor.
Peter slapped Ray upside the head. "You bonehead!"
"Pete, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean it! Really, I didn't!" sputtered Ray.
"It's alright, Ray," said Winston. "You didn't do it on purpose."
Egon pushed his glasses back up his nose. "Let's put her on the couch. Janine, you go get an icepack for her head."
Janine nodded and hurried out of the room. The guys picked Dana up and set her down gently on the couch.
"She's gonna be okay, right?" said Pete to Egon.
Egon nodded. "She should be fine. But she'll be out for a while."
Meanwhile, Dana was off in dream land…
Dana opened her eyes. She was lying on the ground. She got up and looked around. "Oscar, I don't think we're in New York anymore," she said to the baby in her arms.
"Well, of course not. You're in Oz," said a voice. "Can I help you?"
Dana turned around. In front of her stood a short, red-headed woman with glasses in a big, pink, puffy gown, and carrying a magic wand. "Janine?" said Dana.
The woman snapped her gum. "Sorry. The name's Glinda."
"Oh," said Dana. "Well, I'd like to get home if you don't mind. Is there anybody who can help me?" Dana asked.
"Well," thought Glinda. "I would go to New Emerald City and ask the Winston of Oz for help."
"Don't you mean the Wizard of Oz?" asked Dana confusedly.
"No, I meant Winston."
"Oh. Well, how do I get there?" said Dana.
"Just follow the yellow brick road," said Glinda. "Oh, and one more thing."
"Yes?"
Glinda pointed towards Dana's toes. "Nice shoes."
Dana looked down at her feet and noticed for the first time that she was wearing ruby slippers. "Oh, thank you." She looked back up, but Glinda was gone.
Dana shrugged. "Come on, Oscar," she said to her baby. And with that, they were off down the yellow brick road.
After awhile, Dana and Oscar came to a cornfield with a scarecrow in it. There was a fork in the road. "Oh no, which way do I go now?"
"Do you have to leave? Why don't you stick around?" said the scarecrow.
Dana gasped.
"What?" said the scarecrow. "Never seen a talking scarecrow before?"
"Um, no, I haven't. I'm Dana," she said.
"Nice to meet you. Would you mind helping me down?" asked the Scarecrow.
"Oh, sure." Dana walked over to the Scarecrow and helped him down off the wooden pole.
"Thanks a lot! So, where are you headed?" he asked.
"I'm going to New Emerald City. I'm going to ask the Winston of Oz to help me get back home," replied Dana.
"Would you mind if I came along? I want to ask the Winston for some brains," said the Scarecrow.
"You already seem smart enough to me," said Dana.
"Well, truthfully, I have PhDs in psychology and parapsychology, but still I should go with you. You know, to make sure nothing happens to you along the way. If that's okay with you and the Munchkin," he added.
"Munchkin? Oh, no, this is my son Oscar," explained Dana.
"Your son? Oh. You're married," said the Scarecrow disappointedly.
Dana smiled. "Divorced, actually."
The Scarecrow brightened. "Come on. Let's go!"
Dana smiled to herself. She couldn't quite explain it, but the Scarecrow was beginning to remind her of someone she knew…
And so they headed off.
Along the way, Dana and the Scarecrow came across a forest full of apple trees. "Yum, apples!" cried Dana. She reached to pick one.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you. Those trees like to slap wrists!" warned the Scarecrow.
Creak. Creak. Creak.
"What was that?" asked Dana.
"Oh, probably a lion or a tiger or a bear," said Scarecrow.
"Yeah, right. We're not even to that part of the story yet!" exclaimed Dana.
Creak. Creak. Creak.
"Don't worry, Dana! I'll protect you!" proclaimed the Scarecrow bravely.
She looked at him funny. "How? You're made of straw!"
Suddenly, out of the trees, stepped…a man made out of tin!
"See?" said Dana. "I could've told you that was going to happen!"
"Hey, does she have ESP or something?" asked the Tinman. "Believe me, I know ESP when I see it. I'm a parapsychologist."
"Ain't it a small world?" said the Scarecrow. "So am I."
"Was that your leg creaking?" Dana asked the Tinman.
"Yeah, it was. I need my joints oiled, and some suspension work and shocks, brakes, brake pads, lining, steering box, transmission, rear end…"
"Good grief! It sounds like you're falling apart!" Dana remarked.
"No, no, I'm okay…maybe new rings, mufflers, a little wiring...but what I really need is a heart," added the Tinman.
"Aw, you poor thing!" exclaimed Dana. She gave the Tinman a hug.
"Nice line. I should use that some time," the Scarecrow commented.
"Why do you want a heart anyway? You're already so sweet," asked Dana.
"Well, uh, the thing is…I don't have any friends." The Tinman blushed, which was hard to do, considering he was aluminum.
"Why am I not surprised?" said Scarecrow sarcastically.
"Of course you have friends!" said Dana, ignoring Scarecrow. "You have us!"
"Oh boy!" Tinman yelped with joy.
"Come to New Emerald City with us. We're going to have lots of fun," said Dana.
"Okay!" exclaimed the Tinman. And the group continued on their way.
The forest was quickly growing thicker and darker. "It's kind of spooky here!" remarked Dana.
"Don't worry. I'm here," said the Scarecrow comfortingly.
"It's not so bad. I bet if we sing, we'll feel better!" suggested the Tinman.
"Yeah, I don't think so," said the Scarecrow.
The group walked a bit further. As they did so, they came across a lion wearing a stethoscope. He was using it to listen to the inside of a tree.
"Ah! A lion!" exclaimed Dana.
"Aw, he looks friendly to me," said the Tinman.
"Then you go distract it while we make a run for it!" said the Scarecrow.
Tinman sighed. "Why do I always get the dirty jobs?"
He walked over to the Lion and tapped him on the shoulder. "Excuse me-"
"Ah!" screamed the Lion.
"Ah!" screamed Tinman.
"Why are you screaming?" asked the Lion, pushing his glasses back up his nose.
"I don't know, you screamed first," said Tinman.
"Oh, well you just startled me, that's all," said the Lion. "Plus I'm also not that social. In fact, I'm quite pusillanimous."
"Sorry, I don't speak brainiac," said Scarecrow.
"He means he's a scaredy-cat," said Tinman.
"I knew that," replied Scarecrow.
"Well, why don't you come to see the Winston with us? Maybe he can give you some courage," said Dana to the Lion.
"I find that highly unlikely; but alright, I'll come along," said the Lion.
And so Dana, Oscar, the Scarecrow, the Tinman, and the Lion all set off for New Emerald City.