Now or Never

Black. It was all around her, all she could see, all she could feel. Struggling to open her eyes, Juliet tried to get her bearings. The noise was insurmountable. The humming in her ears grew more forcefully and she knew she couldn't stay there forever; it was only a matter of time. The metal above her and around her only continued to clash and grind together, pinning her legs, burying her alive.

Prying her eyes open Juliet quickly realized that this was it, there was no way out. For a fleeting moment she glanced upward, seeing the faint light above…wishing that her voice could carry to him…that she could call for help, but she knew it was fruitless. He'd never hear her. Not knowing how long she'd been lying there, she hoped that he was already far, far away. She didn't want to die, but at least one of them might be saved.

Tears slid down her cheeks as she accepted her fate. "So close" was all she could think as she brought her mind back to the image of her and James on the sub, holding hands, on their way to freedom. She didn't regret the decision she made—getting them off that sub. And she didn't regret their confrontation in the woods either. The whole of her ached just thinking about her love for him. Those last moments as she held on to him, a small sob escaped her lips just thinking about it. She'd never hurt so badly before.

She thought she had experienced love in her life, but until James had come along, she hadn't even known what love was. But she had let him go…she had to. She'd had her moments of happiness, but she knew it was all she would ever get. James had a purpose that was larger than him and her, and as much as she didn't want to let him go, she knew their love would only hold him back.

The humming grew louder and she knew that she only had moments. Adjusting to her surroundings Juliet looked to her right, and that's when she knew. The bomb. Juliet always thought that she'd been brought to the island to help, to fix things, but now she realized she'd had a bigger purpose. It was what was always meant to happen. Fate, destiny, these were words that had been thrown around more in the past 24 hours than throughout the rest of her existence. In the past she'd heard Ben talk about how fate had brought Oceanic 815 to the island, and now Juliet realized that he'd been right. Fate had brought them here just as fate had brought her here, and kept her here, so while Juliet was starting to believe that she couldn't control her fate, she just might be able to change her destiny…and his.

Juliet spotted a rock not far from her side and knew that this was why she was here; she had the opportunity to turn back the clock, to set things straight and she was going to take it. Quickly she thought about what Miles had said…maybe it was the bomb that caused the incident, but the force and the pressure surrounding her at that moment told her that it was just as likely that he was wrong, she had a good a chance as any to change their destiny.

Live together, die alone. Jack's mantra. Well she was alone now, but if she could save the rest, then her journey to this point, and all of her experiences along the way, just might have been worth it. Juliet dragged herself to the rock, and lifted it into the air. If only she'd had one more minute, to see his face once more, to wrap her arms around him. Maybe, just maybe…this would give her that chance.

Now or never she thought. Remembering Kate's story from the operating room all those years ago she, let the fear overtake her. She counted to five in her head and then slammed the rock down forcefully. Nothing. Again. Nothing. Was this wrong she thought? Taking her own life this way. No, it couldn't be. Every time she smashed the rock down, and every time she remained, she felt the failure take over. Failure had been her life for three years on the island; she wasn't going to let it be a part of her anymore. "Come on, you son of a bitch" she gritted out as she slammed down the rock once again. She brought the rock up once more, pictured his face, slammed it down and felt through her whole body the force of the rock colliding with the bomb. White.

Please don't be dead Juliet...please don't be dead!