TPWT: Human

by T.M.Wolf

These Paths We Tread One-shot - A miscalculation with one of Jolt's newest inventions leads to some very… interesting results for Catherine and Sideswipe, whom find their relationship drastically changed. Confusion, hilarity, and dirty jokes ensue. Rated T for dirty jokes, cursing, and extreme embarrassment

TMWolf: Alright folks! Here's the one shot I promised! Sorry it took so long, but this thing is fragging long! It's like three chapters worth! ^ Why didn't I spread it out? Because it was best all kept as one, and it's supposed to be a "One-shot" ;) Anyways, I am hoping you all enjoy this, if only because it has some major fraggin' fluff in here and was literally my attempt at embarrassing Catherine so much that she'll quit this job. 'Cause, y'know... everything else I put her through isn't enough, ha ha. Anyways..

Oh, by the way- for anyone who doesn't know what I'm talking about and hasn't heard of These Paths We Tread... well, you should go read it. 'Cause... you're going to be a little lost. Just saying. Oh, yes, yes, it's 61 chapters long, but you can do it! I believe in you!

As for the fans who are up to date: This one shot takes place actually in the PAST- sometime in the 2-year time skip of ROTF to Chapter 54 - The World We Live In. Also, while the story CAN fit into the ACTUAL story, I would not consider it canon... for many reasons which make sense after you read. So, consider this kind of AU and just a little something fun I decided to make you guys for helping my story reach 1000 REVIEWS! You guys are so awesome, so I really hope you enjoy this!

Oh, and the song is by the Killers! :D

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Summary: A miscalculation with one of Jolt's newest inventions leads to some very… interesting results for Catherine and Sideswipe, whom find their relationship drastically changed. Confusion, hilarity, and dirty jokes ensue. Rated T for dirty jokes, cursing, and potentially dirty situations and hinted things

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These Paths We Tread

Human

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By: -TMWolf-

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"Excitement" was an understatement in describing how Jolt felt and behaved as he shifted back and forth on his feet like a human child waiting for their Christmas present. His optics were as bright as could be, and the smile on his face was nothing short of adorable. It was an amusing sight to see, to say the least, and Catherine got quite the kick out of it from her spot on Sideswipe's shoulder, whom was equally bemused by the Autobot medic-and-apparently-inventor's mannerism. The only one not sharing in the humor was Ratchet and Prime; the former of which was trying to keep him calm, and the later waiting silently for the newest innovation made by the Autobots' Chief Medical Officer and his student to be complete. It had been about a breem now since Prime had arrived—whom was the only one really needed for the display— and he was only a little agitated about having being kept longer than he was meant to.

Unfortunately, delays had come about when Ratchet discovered a tiny problem and forced the electric-blue mech to work on it and make sure there weren't anymore. Jolt fixed the initial problem easily enough, and it was around then that the redhead and silver mech had strolled in. They had done so intending to get their daily "bond-scan"—as Catherine and Sideswipe had come to call it—even though it had been about eight months since the event that had blocked the bond. The chief medic was keen on making sure there wasn't going to be any long term effects, though, so they'd continuously come in the first day of every month. Evidently Ratchet had forgotten to inform them of Jolt's science project, so they had been allowed to become audience for.

"So… Almost done over there, Ratchet?" Catherine called out, and the medic turned on her with such a venomous glare she had to throw her arms up in defense. Sideswipe helped by turning slightly so she was out of direct sight.

"Geez, mech! Don't kill her, will ya?" he scoffed, and the medic turned his optics on the silver mech, whom cringed.

"Hush," he hissed, and both quieted. However, in the midst of the silence, Optimus chuckled. It had been stifled a little, but it was still there, and the bonded pair grinned at him. He ignored their looks—he couldn't let it be known he had been amused—but they still snickered amongst themselves. Thankfully, the Doctor of Doom was distracted as he forced Jolt's attention back fully on the device and had him mend another part. Before he could make another suggestion, though, the electric blue lifted it up and turned to his small audience, beaming with pride.

"May I present to you our latest invention: the Healing Laser!" he cried, hoisting the gun-shaped medical tool up into his arms. It was incredibly ironic how a tool meant for healing looked uncannily like a weapon meant to blow a hole through someone. Needless to say, it made Catherine raise a brow at the mech as he adjusted the settings, which, he explained, would vary depending on the degree of injury.

"Jolt, put it back down! We aren't finished with it yet!" Ratchet growled, grasping the weapon, but his student kept a hold of it.

"It's fine! I checked it while I did that last mend. You're just being paranoid!" he huffed, tugging it back towards his chassis. Catherine and Sideswipe looked at another. Jolt had never argued openly with his teacher—especially not in front of the Commander. It was both shocking and highly amusing to watch the two bicker for what had to be the first time in their lives. Prime, however, was not amused as his metal brows narrowed and he frowned a little. The two medics remained unaware, though; continuing to pull the device back and forth.

"Jolt. I am ordering you, as Chief Medical Officer, to relieve the healing unit!" the lime-green medic growled, tugging the tool harder.

His student pulled it back, "Sorry, sir, but I will not! Now let me show them how it works!"

"Man, I can't believe they're fighting," Sideswipe snickered.

Catherine grinned, "It's pretty funny, actually. I wonder how long it'll go on."

"Pff, Pit if I know. If it takes too long we're leaving, though."

"You really need to work on that attention span of yours, love."

He raised an optic ridge, "'Love'? Is that a new nickname or something?"

"What, you don't like it?" she purred, faking a pout. "I always imagined calling my boyfriend 'love', though…"

"'Boyfriend'? Oh—wait, that's right. You told me those things are like what I am to you. Right. Well, I guess. It's weird, though. I mean, do I have to call you that?"

"Naw, you don't. It'd be kinda cute, though."

He frowned, humming, "I gueeeeeeesss I cou—"

"No! Stop!"

Catherine and Sideswipe turned towards the two grappling medics just as Prime moved to intervene. At the same time, Jolt ripped the tool free from Ratchet, and the action caused him to smash his servos on the activation button. The gun flashed bright blue, buzzed, and fired all within the blink of eye. The blast zipped past Prime, at which point time slowed for the silver mech and redhead. The Autobot lurched back as the blue stream of light shot straight for his chest while his bond mate lurched forward in a fruitless attempt to help. Optimus leaped towards them both while Ratchet reached out. Nothing could stop the tool's blast, though, and it struck Sideswipe's chassis, causing his body to erupt with electrical surges.

The sensation made him jerk and jump, throwing Catherine free of his shoulder. She screamed as she fell, but Prime's leap proved useless as he snatched her up just before she hit the ground. Ratchet raced past them to Sideswipe, whom had fallen to his knees. His mouth was opened as if to scream, but no sound came out. The medic attempted to pull him up, but had to stop as he too was shocked by the surges. The redhead, safe in Optimus' hands, called out for her bond mate, but he could not acknowledge even if he had heard. He was in pain, though, and all knew it. For that reason, Ratchet transformed his arm into a tool the redhead had not seen before and which emitted a wave of golden energy that engulfed the silver mech. It also saved him.

Once the two energies met, they merged and settled until they were gone. Sideswipe, too, settled, and collapsed to the floor, his optics shuttered off. The medic was by him at once and so was Jolt, his tool abandoned. Both quickly worked—their scuffle forgotten. They scanned him first, and once that was done Ratchet had his student tilt the silver mech's head forward, revealing their more sensitive wiring hidden beneath the neck panels. The medic worked quickly, shifting wires and metal out of the way to reach a transformed finger into and zap the main set of wiring. Just as he pulled his finger free, Sideswipe's optics flashed on and he jerked up with a gasp.

"Sideswipe!" Catherine cried out from Prime's hand, though he did not release her. Her bond mate sat, optics flickering on and off as he regained himself with a shake of his head. Both Ratchet and Jolt scanned him as they attempted to help him up. It was a slow process, but soon he was on his feet, though kept his weight on the electric-blue mech.

"I… I'm okay. F-feel weird, but I-I'm g-good," he spoke, his voice apparatus fluctuating.

"Ratchet, what happened?" Prime barked, not at all amused by it all.

The medic glared at Jolt, "Nothing serious, thankfully. The tool released an electrical magnetic pulse that overloaded his systems. He needs a proper recharge to be rid of the last of the effects, but he'll be fine. I would advise he not be placed on duty for a decacycle or so, however. I want to make sure there are no long-term effects that appear later."

"Granted. As for you, Jolt—."

"Jolt is going to be cleaning the rust off these walls for a thousand stellar cycles and then he will be returning to basics until he learns that innovations are not to be taken lightly and should always be checked thoroughly before even a test show! And by 'until' I mean at least a billion stellar cycles! Is that clear?!"

The electric-blue Autobot lowered his head he mumbles, "Yes, sir. I'm sorry."

"'Sorry' indeed," Prime rumbled, his voice causing the young mech to flinch. Catherine, meanwhile, grasped anxiously at the Autobot Commander's hand while she looked wearily at her bond mate. The mech was starting to come around—his optics were beginning to regain full brightness and his balance was stabilizing. She knew for a fact he was himself when he saw Jolt, scowled, and shoved the mech away. Neither Chief medic nor Commander made the slightly hint of reprimanding Sideswipe.

"What the slag, mech!? You almost offlined me with that thing!" he growled, jabbing a metal digit at the forgotten tool, lying not-so-innocently on the work table. "I thought it was supposed to help, not frag me over!"

"It is! It just… it got put… too… high," the medic-in-training replied, twiddling his thumbs together, and yelped when Ratchet was the one that smacked him across the head.

"You're lucky it didn't offline him! The tool is an Energon-based unit meant to strengthen our healing systems, but when you put it too high it overloads our systems!" he huffed, and Jolt sent him a glare.

"If you hadn't kept trying to take it away it wouldn't have happened!" he barked back, and both medics moved towards each other, chassis to chassis.

Sideswipe, sensing the unmistakable scent of battle, quickly swerved around them and came up beside Prime, whom was glowering at the both of them still. The silver mech reached out for Catherine, but did not receive her right away as the red-and-blue Autobot spared him a glance and inquired of his status over the comm. link. It was only when the silver mech had done a quick systems check and doubly assured him he would not the drop the redhead that Prime allow the two to reunite. True to his word, Sideswipe safely transferred his bond mate to his shoulders where she doted over him, much to his delight. However, the attention faltered when Ratchet's voice suddenly rose and they heard another clang of metal against metal.

"Return to your quarters you two. Sideswipe, you are relieved from duty for a decacycle," Optimus spoke, his voice stern and authoritative. The silver mech said nothing nor did anything else but salute and roll away. Catherine knew better than to speak, too; you did not mess with the Autobot Commander when he used his "tone". However, once they were safely away from the Medbay, the redhead began to speak up at once, inquiring of her bond mate's condition again.

"I told you I'm fine. Yeah, I got zapped to the Pit, but it wasn't the kind that ended up with my fried. Or, well, I mean, I guess it could, but it didn't," he replied, and only received a frown.

"You idiot!" she shouted, smacking his cheek plates. "That doesn't help! I thought you were gonna die back there! Don't do it again, you hear me! I won't forgive you if you do!"

He smiled softly as he nuzzled her, "I promise I won't, so calm down, alright? I think you're about to shock yourself. Anyways, what do you want to do now?"

"Uh, 'Sides, you're going back to the room to rest."

"Pssh, I don't need any recharge. I'm fine."

She folded her arms, "We're going back to the room."

"I'm sorry, but who's the one toting you around right now?" he countered with a grin.

"I have Ratchet and Prime on speed dial."

The silver mech looked at her, optics narrowed, and she stared right back, her arms folded even tighter and her face set with stern determination. Catherine knew who was going to win—she had pulled the trump card after all—and knew it was only a matter of time before the mech would give in. Not that he could resist her demands regardless if she had mentioned the two are not. Besides, there was no way in hell she was going to let her bond mate, whom had just nearly died, go off and do something stupid. They had were just a few months shy of being together a year now, and she had no intentions of losing their relationship however odd it may have been compared to others.

Sideswipe sighed and rolled his optics, "Fine. But I won't recharge. It's too early, so I know you won't sleep."

"No, you're recharging. I'll stay in the room and work on my laptop and go to sleep early, though, so it'll be fine," she replied, waving him off with her hand. He frowned, pouting, but a playful cooing and patting on his cheek forced it away. He chuckled and nuzzled her, which made her grin back. She always loved it when they did that, and, while it probably didn't hold as much meaning for a giant, metal Cybertronian, for her it was a contact she adored.

"Alright, alright. I'll recharge. I better find you there when I wake up, though," he rumbled as he headed off down the hall to their room.

"Don't worry, I will. I'll even try to get Lenno—er, Dad, to give me some time off," she replied, and then chuckled. "It's kind of weird calling him 'Dad'. I was so used to Lennox and then, I mean, I only ever called my biological dad 'Dad'. I like it, though."

"What's so nice about having a 'Dad'? I know they're your creators or whatever, but even our creators don't act how your 'Dads' do."

"Well, I guess it's hard to explain for you guys since you kind of go off on your own after you're fully upgraded, but…. You guys still have the bonds with your creators, right? Well, if you were spark-born, anyways, right?"

He titled his head, "Yeah, that sounds right."

"Well, humans don't have the bond, so we have to be physically closer to have that same connection, so it kinda seems like they're still in the creator phase or whatever you might call it. That, and, well, it's kind of unspoken that Dads are extremely protective of their kids—particularly when they're girls. It's a human thing, I guess."

"Figures, and explains why it's so weird," he hummed, and she rolled her eyes. It was dropped, though, as they rounded the corner to their room. It had been theirs for only a few months, but Catherine was very happy with the move, and could barely recall ever not being there. It helped she essentially had the whole of her previous room there installed for her; she had a bed, bathroom, drawers, and a bookcase all there for her. And, of course, Sideswipe had his berth, and that was really all he needed.

"Down ya go," he mused as he set her down gently near her bed, which she happily flopped onto. Sideswipe, in turn, sat on his berth and leaned back against the wall it was butted up to. Below, Catherine reached over to her nightstand and pulled out her personal laptop, which had been given to her to use in the event she had to work from her room. It definitely came in handy, and it was also a good way for her to just meander about when she was bored, too. Today, however, was not a meandering day. She did have some NEST work to be done—along the lines of reading over statistics found by her research heads Maggie and Glenn, and her second informant—a one Leo Spitz, whom, despite his generally frat boyish ways, was pretty useful. There were also some reports on incoming Autobots, whom would have to be cleared for teams and their first few months stay at Diego Garcia where they would be evaluated for said teams.

"Sitting is not recharging," she spoke up just as she delved into the paperwork, and, as expected, the silver mech groaned in defiance. However, he did move his legs anyways and lay flat on the berth. The redhead listened carefully for the sure signs he had followed her and his overseers orders, and, a few minutes later, the soft hum and buzz of systems slowing down filled her ears. Grinning with satisfaction, she returned to her work, and kept at it for a good long while until she too began to feel tired. She kept up her duties for about an hour longer before she finally called it a night and set the laptop down. She went through her sleep-preparation moments, though paused just before slipping into the covers to check up on her bond mate. He was recharging soundly, so, smiling, she went to sleep too.

-O-

Catherine was used to being woken up by being pushed and prodded by her bond mate in the morning. It was his anxious, loving way to tell her to get a move on so he could do what he wanted to do since he wouldn't leave her behind. She, of course, would always act playfully reluctant, forcing him to either pick her up or some other shenanigan. It was all in fun games and she expecting nothing less the following morning. However, it was not the case as she felt firm, frantic hands shaking her very roughly and a voice that was vaguely familiar and shouting urgently for her to wake up.

Grumbling, she shoved the hands away and opened her eyes sleepily to see why the hell Sideswipe was messing up their routine, and was very surprised to find it wasn't him. Instead of a towering, Cybertronian mech, there was about a six-foot tall man. And he was naked.

Heat rising to her face and instincts kicking in she immediately punched the stranger in the gut, which made him collapse to his knees. She then quickly followed by swinging her leg into his side, which brought him to the floor. Training kicked and she scrambled to dig her knee into the back of his thigh, pressing up into the rear, pull both of his arms onto his lower back, and wrap her arms underneath into a chicken wing lock. The perpetrator cried on in pain and cursed all sort of profanities that she didn't care for as she tightened her grip and glared daggers at him.

"Sideswipe, wake up!" she shouted up at her bond mate, but, upon getting no answer, looked to find the berth was empty. She scowled in annoyance—of course he wasn't around when she needed him to help her out with something like this! There was also the fact he was gone without telling her! He'd never done such a jerk move, and she knew she was definitely going to take it out on the pervert below her.

Tightening her grip more she snarled, "Who the fuck are you!?"

"Aw, slaggit, that hurts! Stop, 'Cat! Please! It's me! It's me—ow ow ow ow ow!"

"I don't know who you are! Now answer the question or I start popping your shoulders out!"

"I'm Sideswipe!" he cried and she almost lost her grip just from being dumbstruck by the stupidity of the answer.

"Do you think I'm an idiot?!"

"No, it's really me! I don't know what happened but I woke up on the ground like this! Now let me go—ow! Slaggit it all stop, 'Cat!"

"Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you!? Now stop lying and tell me the truth or I really will pop your shoulder out!" she growled, lifting his arms up to a potentially dangerous height.

He squirmed in pain, "I told you I'm Sideswipe! I'm your bond mate!"

"That's it—wait," she started, eyes narrowing in confusion, and lowered their arms slightly. "How… How do you know that term? Who told you about us?"

"No one! I. Am. Sideswipe! I can prove it!"

She scowled, "I doubt it. And I'll prove that just by calling him."

Releasing one arm, but keeping the other and her knee pressed into his rear, she dragged him closer to her nightstand where she snatched her phone. Keeping her eyes locked on his head, which was still firmly squished against the ground, she pressed the button for the silver mech's comm. link. It was a nifty thing the Autobots had made for her, and a perfect way to disprove sickos like the one she had at her mercy.

Or not.

Her frown deepened as she got nothing from the receiver—not even static. She tried again, but there was still nothing. She tried a third time and, while the screen still showed her bond mate's name, she got nothing. She speed dialed Smokescreen next, and he couldn't hail Sideswipe either. Before he could question her motives, she hung up, and stared, wide-eyed at the naked man. What he said couldn't be true. It couldn't be. There had to be a reason Sideswipe wasn't answering. He was probably just ignoring them, but—but… He should have answered Smokescreen, but he got nothing either. Yet, this man couldn't be her bond mate it wasn't possible.

So why was she starting to believe it?

"No... No! This…. You can't be Sideswipe. You're human," she spoke, although much weaker than before. She recovered, however, and glared, tightening her grip, "When did me and Sideswipe bond and why?"

"Fraggit all, 'Cat! Do I really have to—ooooowwwww! Okay! Okay! It was like a fraggin' Quartex ago when the Aerialbots brought you back from those slaggin' 'Cons and you were in a 'coma' or whatever Ratchet called it 'cause of something about you being overloaded with Energon so I used my spark to try and take some away and we ended up bonded as a side effect and then you were okay! Now let me go!"

Catherine's heartbeat raced just as fast as her mind did to understand the weight of his words. No one—and she really did mean no one—could have known that. She hadn't told anyone how she had bonded with Sideswipe yet. She'd barely even told her adoptive father and team-family she was bonded, so how did this man—this perverted, crazy man—know that?! It wasn't possible unless… unless he was… but… he couldn't be! He just couldn't be, but—yet—he—he knew. He knew.

"But… how?" she inquired weakly, her grip all but lost on him.

He pulled his arms away, relieved they were free, "That's what I'd like to know. Last I remember is going into recharge and then I wake up on the floor and in this fragging weird body and then you punched me. Speaking of which— that slagging hurt, 'Cat! I feel like I'm gonna die now and would you mind getting your knee off? That slaggin' hurts, too!"

She waited for what felt a long time before doing just that and stood up, staring at him wide-eyed and still trying to comprehend it all. He stood then, rolling and rubbing his shoulders as he turned to face her. Catherine flushed at once—his nakedness all too apparent—and quickly grabbed her sheets and flung them to him.

"W-wrap this around you," she spoke, refusing to look at him.

"Why?" he inquired, holding up the cloth, clearly confused.

She flushed harder, "J-just do it! Jesus, I can't believe it's really you. How did this happen!?"

"I told you I don't know, and I'm fragging annoyed by it," he grumbled as he finally pulled the sheet over his shoulders like he'd seen some humans do. "Ugh, I feel so weird and cold and nasty like this. How do you stand it?"

"Dude—er, Sideswipe, just… Just shut up, please. I… I need to think. I… We… We need to get some help," she replied, rubbing her brow for a moment before snatching up her phone. "We need to call Ratchet."

"What? No! I don't want them to see this!" he barked, opening the blanket to gesture to all of him, which made the redhead's face go an even deeper shade than her hair.

"Yes, well I don't know what happened and we need help. Ratchet might know something so shut up and g-go put some clothes on or—or something! Jeez!"

"What am I supposed to where?"

She gestured to her dresser as she dialed Ratchet's comm. link, "Just try and find something in there."

"Pff. Alright," he shrugged, and started to stroll over, only to wobble and almost trip. If the situation hadn't been so weird, Catherine might have laughed, but instead she looked at him like he was a drunkard. He definitely seemed like it as he tried to steady himself and take slower, careful steps. She would have commented on it or asked a question, but the medic's voice came over her phone's speaker and, with a sigh, she answered.

"Ratchet, we need your help. I… I can't explain it, just… just come here," she sighed, rubbing her nose, and then looked up to find Sideswipe looking hopefully at pair of underwear that she knew wouldn't fit. She groaned, embarrassed even more, "And please bring my Da—er, Lennox. Tell him to bring an extra pair of his clothes."

-O-

"Who the hell is this and why is he naked?" William Lennox all but shouted when Ratchet opened the doors to the room and found Catherine standing a little ways off from a young man clad in only a blanket, whom looked just as annoyed by it all as he was. The red head quickly threw up her hands to try and ease her father's anger, but it was no good, she knew, as he continued to glare at the young man even when she took the clothes from him. Ratchet, on the other hand, was staring, confused, and wondering why the Pit he was even there. It was obviously a human matter.

"Okay, don't freak out, guys, but…" Catherine began once she gave the young man the clothes and turned back to them. "This is Sideswipe."

As she expected, they looked at her like she was crazy. Sideswipe snorted while he struggled to figure out what to put on first and where it went, having expected it, too.

"Yeah, I know. I thought the same thing and kicked his ass before he told me exactly how and when we were bonded. So you tell me who else knows that besides you, Ratchet, Jolt, and First Aid? And then Dad—you and the guys are the only ones that know we're even bonded!"

Ratchet frowned, "It's not possible, though."

"We know," she sighed, running a hand through her hair. "That's why we called you. We don't know how it happened. But, can't you just, like, run a scan or something?"

"Why is he naked in your room?" Lennox asked, and the redhead looked to him with exasperation. She was on her own, too, as the medic, heeding her request, aimed his arm at the now-human Sideswipe and scanned him just as he finally managed to pull the boxers on first.

"Because that's how he woke up. Apparently. I don't really know. Look, it's just… It's all weird, Dad!"

"Odd. I'm detecting both human and Cybertronian matter within the human male," Ratchet rumbled.

"That's because I'm Sideswipe! I keep saying that, but will anyone listen? No!" he growled as he figured out the shirt next, but then started to scratch himself. "Ugh, this stuff is so weird—it makes my body all weird, too. And fraggit all we're really big compared to humans."

"You have a naked man in your room. And you're in your pajamas," Lennox spoke again, his glaring eyes never leaving the young man.

"Um. Yes? He's got clothes now, though," she replied, attempting to appease his rage, but it only seemed to make it worse.

"He's in a shirt and boxers."

"Catherine, it would be best if we all returned to the Medbay where I may properly diagnose the situation. While it is unbelievable, the evidence so far is supporting the claim he is Sideswipe—especially when I cannot detect his Energon signature anywhere," Ratchet mused and held out his hand down for them. "I ask you climb on so that we may make haste. You may come, too, should you wish, Major Lennox."

"You're damn right I am. I'm not letting some sicko get near my kid," he growled, placing himself between the redhead and Sideswipe. She started to complain when he pushed onto the medic's hand, but he silenced her with a look, while the young man struggled to walk over; his legs seemingly like jelly for him. In the end, the medic had to help by scooping up Sideswipe in his other hand. He scowled at the movement, but he stayed quiet as he continued to scratch his torso, the material still uncomfortable and unusual for him. Lennox, meanwhile, continued to glare and made sure he was always directly in the line of sight between the young man and Catherine. The redhead, head in hand, fumed at her father for being so ridiculous about it, but she eventually relented because nothing she did worked.

Thankfully, it didn't last long, and they were all soon in the Medbay which was, even more thankfully deserted. Jolt was no doubt off being punished, and First Aid was out in the field serving as a field medical officer for one of their scouting teams. In fact, only the medics, Smokescreen, and Prime were on base; the rest were out on missions and wouldn't be back for at least another week. The convenient coincidence certainly saved Sideswipe a large majority of his pride as he was set down with Catherine and Lennox onto a table and scanned again, much more thoroughly this time. It lasted only a few moments, and it was a tense for all of them, although Sideswipe was more-so annoyed than anything else.

"It would seem my previous scans were correct; your body is composed of Cybertronian and Earth substances. In a way, your composition is similar to Catherine's, although with actual minerals rather than just Energon. I still find it hard to believe you're Sideswipe, however," he rumbled, and the young man huffed.

"I'm Sideswipe alright. I still remember all the times me n' Sunny would prank people and you would smack us over the head with a wrench. And do I have to explain the bonding moment again?"

"…Well, I am definitely more inclined to believe you're Sideswipe now. But… how is this possible? It shouldn't be by all means, so how?"

"That's what I'd like to know! I hate being like this! I feel so disgusting and slimy and gross!" the young man growled, still scratching at his skin. "And I fraggin' itch, too! It's the worst!"

"I will need to study this further," the medic mused, rubbing his metal chin. "I fear you may be this way for some time, Sideswipe."

"What?! I can't be like this!"

"There is no other choice. We have no idea how this has happened, nor how long it will last. I'm not even certain of your entire body's structure, and I will need time to figure it all out."

Sideswipe, still scratching at the shirt, groaned and proceeded to huff. Sitting a good few feet away from him, Lennox still glared at the young man, his fatherly instincts on high, while Catherine sat cross-legged with her elbow propped on her knee so she could put her cheek into her hand. She was glaring herself, though directed it at her father and it wasn't nearly as deathly as the one he gave. She couldn't help thinking how silly he was being—especially considering she was a legal adult. In a way, she found it kind of sweet he was acting protective of her, but they were dealing with a very delicate and odd matter; him acting as a blockade between her and her bond mate was not helping at all.

"Dad," she spoke, but the brown-haired man didn't even so much as flinch. Frowning, she tried again, louder, "Dad!"

"What?" he replied, though kept his glare on Sideswipe.

"Stop that."

"Stop what?"

"Trying to kill Sideswipe with your death laser beam eyes. I swear he didn't do anything besides try to wake me up, and it's Sideswipe."

"He was naked. In your room."

"Yes. Yes he was, but, Dad, seriously, stop it. You're not helping at all. Do you even get what this means? He was Cybertronian—a gigantic robot—and now he's a small human," she pressed and, at last, her father turned to look at her. It was only for a moment, his mouth set in a frown, and then he was turned back towards Sideswipe, whom had finally stopped itching. Lennox didn't glare as much this time, his daughter's words finally reaching him. He wasn't happy about it, though, and—to make matters worse for him—he knew he wouldn't be able to stay there all day and act a guard for his red-headed little girl. No, he had work to do as the Commanding Officer of the NEST base, especially when they had teams in the field searching for 'Cons and they were beginning to establish a base in Washington D.C. so as to allow NEST to be closer to the Pentagon and President.

"Look, I promise nothing will happen, alright? I'm not that kind of girl and Sideswipe doesn't even understand any… of…that. Seriously—when I tried to explain it he called it 'disgusting' and refused to listen, so you're fine," Catherine continued and, this time, her father exhaled deeply. Still frowning, he turned so his face was facing forward, though not focusing on anything in particular. The redhead looked up at him hopefully, and, when he closed his eyes, she knew she had gotten through.

"Fine. I have to go anyways, but I better not hear about anything happening, and you better get all your work done regardless. Is that clear?" he spoke, giving her a harsh look, and she nodded vehemently. That done, he waited a few more minutes—he had to stare a bit longer—before he caught Ratchet's attention and had himself lowered to the floor. There he turned, looked up at Catherine, used two fingers to point at his eyes and then her, and walked off, grumbling. The redhead, on the other hand, grinned, and, the moment her father was out the door, she quickly scooted over so that she was next to Sideswipe. The newly-made-human Cybertronian was happy for it.

"So. You feel okay and stuff?" she inquired.

He frowned, "No. I'm human now! I'm still itchy although it's not so bad anymore, and then I feel fragging cold so I keep doing this weird shaking thing down my back, but my systems won't heat up or do what I say! I've tried telling my frame to stop itching for like a slaggin' breem now!"

"It's called 'shivering', and that's the thing about human bodies—we can't tell it what to do like yours. You kind of just have to… live with it and scratch or warm up when you feel how you do. We can actually fix that coldness by the way," she replied and looked over at the medic who was fumbling over the data. "Hey, Ratchet! Do you have a blanket or large cloth or something? Sideswipe's cold."

"I do believe my alternate form does," he mused, and rummaged through some of his subspace compartments, which produced a decently sized gray, cotton blanket. He handed it over to the redhead, whom quickly pulled it over her bond mate's shoulder and showed him where to keep his hands. Almost at once, he visibly relaxed and a smile—one she suspected was not of his conscious doing—appeared on his face. She doubted his pulling his legs closer inside the blanket was of his doing, either. He didn't seem to notice, though; far too content in the fact he felt warm and, therefore, good.

"Having this body is going to be a pain in the aft," he sighed soon enough, and looked to the medic. "Have you found anything yet? I don't want to be this way any longer than I have to! I's slaggin' scrap!"

Ratchet sighed, "I don't know, Sideswipe. This data is very strange—even more so than Catherine's, and I still do not know how it happened. What have you done recently out of the normal? Have you touched any strange substance or just been exposed to it?"

"No. All I did yesterday was basically wake up, train, come in for the bond scan thing, get zapped by Jolt's fraggin' gun-death-ray, recharge, and then I wake up like this!" he scowled, throwing up the blanket to gesture at all of him. The medic began to hum, but stopped suddenly as his optics both widened and brightened. Sideswipe glanced over at Catherine, whom raised a brow, and then both looked up expectantly at the medic. He didn't answer them right away; instead, he began to quickly shuffle through the drawers of his work station until he found the very "gun-death-ray" her bond mate had spoken of. He set it down as he scanned it and then quickly compared the data to that of Sideswipe's. It didn't take long for his optics to take on a focused glaze, and they remained so as he turned back to them.

"I believe I may have the answer," he spoke and gestured to Jolt's experiment. "The data matches, and I can't believe I didn't realize it before, although, I am still confused as to how the machine caused such a change."

"Ratchet, you need to be more specific," Catherine sighed.

The medic rubbed his chin, "Well, I don't truly know enough to not be vague, but… what I do know is that this machine interacts at the molecular level and is like both our sparks and Energon—pure energy. It's meant to just enhance our systems to allow for faster repairs, but when it was tampered with yesterday and hit you, it sent your systems into overdrive."

"Yeah, so I noticed when I nearly offlined!" Sideswipe growled, though quieted when Ratchet held up his hands for him to do so.

"I don't think that was all, though. And… Well, it's just a hypothesis, but… I think your bond with Catherine may have had something to do with it."

"Whoa, whoa, wait—what? How is that possible? What do you mean?" the redhead inquired, skeptical.

"As you know, when two sparks bond, they exchange parts of themselves with the other—the case was no different from you two, although instead of spark Energon, Catherine gave you, Sideswipe, Allspark energy. However, because the Allspark was fused with her human body, your spark received some human DNA. Again, this is all just a hypothesis and needs very thorough testing, but… I think the gun amplified that human DNA and began to merge it with your Cybertronian systems, altering your body. I thought my EMP would have completely stopped the machine's workings, but it must have only lowered it to safe levels and so your systems, combined with human DNA began to change your frame to adapt to that."

"So it made me human?! I'm going to offline Jolt the klik I see him that fragging no good waste of scrap metal!" Sideswipe roared, attempting to stand up quickly, but wobbled with his new, strange legs. Catherine was there to help him steady himself at once, though his anger now extended to that helplessness he felt as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"Technically, you're not really human. Your body is actually made more from Cybertronian materials, though mixed with human ones, which brought on your appearance. For instance, your skin should be much stronger than the average human, and you should heal must faster from wounds. In fact, most human abilities will be amplified in you once you are accustomed to your new body," Ratchet replied, bringing up a schematic, which displayed a three-dimensional hologram view of the young man. "Again, I must continue my research. I don't know how permanent these changes may be or what repercussions they might have. For now I would advise you learn how to function properly in that body until I can find a way to reverse the process."

"What!? No, no, no! Ratchet! I can stay like this!" he crowed, but only received a sympathetic look from the medic.

"I am sorry, Sideswipe, but there is nothing more I can do right now," he sighed, and then looked to the redhead. "Catherine, I would ask that you become his caretaker. While I have studied extensively on humans, I am by no means the right person to help him. I will be too busy with this work as well."

"Sure. I am his bond mate after all. It's kind of my job to look after him," she smiled up at the young man, whom, despite his disappointment smiled a little, too. She squeezed his side gently, "Besides, it's not so bad being human."

"I would ask he not leave the Autobot area, though. Not for a few solar cycles, anyways. It would… not be good to have this news get around. I'll have to inform Prime, of course, and no doubt the other Autobots will found should they return early, but I would not advise humans beyond Lennox learning. I will also have Prime give you as much time as you need off duty as well, Catherine."

"That'd probably be good, and I can always do a lot of my work from my laptop. I will need to get him food and stuff, though… or does he even need to eat human food?"

The medic frowned, folding his arms, "I would think, considering he has a human stomach and digestive system, but I suppose that will have to wait and see if he gets 'hungry', I believe is what you humans call it. The same could be set for 'thirst', and your, ah, 'excretory' needs."

"You mean the bathroom."

"Ugh—I have to do that?! That's disgusting!" Sideswipe groaned, letting his head fall back.

Catherine chuckled as she pat his arm, "Oh, you'll get used to it soon enough. And once you're back to normal you'll never have to do it again."

"I don't want to do it now!"

"You'll just have to make do. I suppose it would be best if you return to your room for now, since I've gotten all I can from you for now. Try having him learn how to walk there properly," Ratchet suggested as he held out his hand. Catherine, much to Sideswipe's chagrin, had to help him walk on—his legs still wobbly. She had to help him to the door, too, but once out in the hall he began to get the hang of it. He kept his arm held out per the redhead's instruction, and he found it actually helped to keep his balance, which proved necessary as he took each careful step. He scowled and cursed the entire way, complaining about being human or how he was going to kill Jolt or whatever came to mind. Whatever the case, he was eventually able to lower his arms and walk like Catherine could by the time they reached their room. It wasn't perfect—he stumbled every once in a while—but he made it safely to her bed where he happily sat down.

"Being human is slaggin' awful. I don't know how you stand it," he growled as he stared down at his legs. Catherine chuckled softly as she sat down next to him and patted his leg. He snorted and continued to stare, as if trying to figure them out. It was then that the redhead actually looked at her bond mate. Before everything had been kind of rushing by in a crazy blur, but now there were no distractions.

His skin was a little pale, but looked fairly healthy. He was about average height, reaching close to six feet or so by the few inches his head had over hers. His face was fairly masculine, with a strong jaw, a slightly pointed nose, and short, black locks that curled ever so slightly at their tips. His eyes were fascinating and definitely showed his Cybertronian characteristics—a bright, almost icy blue that one wouldn't expect to find. It was almost like they glowed, but she knew that was just a trick of the light. It was pretty easy to get lost in them, though. She managed to pull away on her own, and did a look over of his body. He was similar to her father in shape, though wasn't quite as toned. He was still definitely muscular and she would be lying if she said she didn't stare at his biceps a little.

"Oh my god, you're hot," she blurted out, and quickly flushed as she slapped a hand over her mouth.

He turned, a brow raised, "I'm 'hot'? I'm not cold anymore, but I'm definitely not overheating. Pretty sure I'm normal human temperature now, actually."

"No, no, I don't mean that," she snorted in her attempt to hold back her laughter. She eventually calmed down, but retained the heat in her cheeks. "I mean that.. um… that… you're… very good looking. Attractive."

"…That's… good?" he inquired, eyes narrowed.

She nodded, "Yes. That's good. That's very good in the human world."

"Oh… Are you… 'attractive'?"

She flushed harder and unconsciously brushed a bang behind her ear, "Um. Well. Um… I don't know? Do… do you… are you… attracted… to me?"

"Uh, what does 'attraction' feel like?"

"Um. Uh… Um… Er… Do.. do you… like… um… how I, uh…. Look?" she began, her face turning as red as a tomato, while Sideswipe looked right at her. She could tell he was still confused by it all—her garble of an attempt of explaining it hadn't helped—but he was at least trying to figure it out. His mouth flattened and turned into a frown and then back to a crease as he tried to understand what he was feeling, and it took a long, excruciatingly embarrassing amount of time for him to answer.

"Yeah. I do. So that means you're attractive. That's good."

"Yes. That's good," she replied, her face held in her hands.

He raised a brow, "What are you doing?"

"Oh, nothing. Just being embarrassed out of my mind. Please, just—don't ask about it. Let's, ah, focus on you first. Like, um," she paused to look him over and flushed harder as she realized he only had a shirt and the boxers on. "Like getting you pants."

"I thought these were the pants. The other ones were weird to get on," he frowned as she scurried over to the lost pair her father had brought on the floor and tossed them to him. He held them up, confused, but then looked to Catherine, whom quickly showed him what to do. He followed along and hummed, pleased. "I feel a lot warmer with them on. My feet still feel cold. I don't think I'll get used to these little… things… on my… feet. They're so weird. I can't roll on them."

"Yeah, well, that's because humans don't have wheels for feet," she sighed, sitting next to him again. "Okay, looks like we're going to have to start form the basics on being human—especially because you're bound to escape and go be where the others are regardless of what Ratchet or I say and do."

He smirked, "You know me so well."

"Yes, well, we are bond mates. Anyways, let's, uh, go over some ground rules. Like, you have to wear clothes."

"Aw, c'mon! This slag sucks!" he groaned, glaring down at the attire he wore. "I don't even see what the problem is. I mean, yeah, it makes me feel warmer, but you have blankets for that. It itches, too!"

"Well, it's because humans don't walk around… um… naked."

He frowned as he pulled his pants and boxers outward and looked down, "Is it because of this thing? I mean, I guess it's nasty and weird, but doesn't everyone have them?"

"No! No. No. They don't," she snorted, stifling a laugh. He gave her a look as she stopped, "Okay, look. You see, humans have two genders: male and female, or men and women. You're a man, so you have a, um, penis—that thing you think is nasty and weird. I'm a woman, so I don't have that. I have—er… I have a vagina and boobs."

"A what and what?" he inquired, somewhat curious, but somewhat disgusted, too.

She rubbed the back of her head, "Um. I can't really show you—which is the point I was getting at. Humans don't just go walking around showing off their private parts. It's not… um… decent. Um… I guess… I guess it would be like… if you had wires sticking out of your body."

"Ratchet would nag at us if that happened. But it's not all that bad. Maybe kinda humiliating."

"Right! Humiliating. People don't walk around without clothes because they don't want to be made fun of or be thought bad of by others."

"But I don't care about that."

She groaned, "Sideswipe, please! Just… Just keep clothes on okay?"

"…Okay," he replied after a few moments, and she sighed with exasperation. She fell back onto the bed next, silently groaning about how to explain all this. She wasn't even sure why it was so embarrassing—this was Sideswipe after all. Granted, he was a fairly attractive human now, but that was beside the point! She briefly wondered if she should even bother trying to explain it; Ratchet was bound to find a cure soon enough, and then he would be back to normal and everything would be fine. She paused briefly in her thoughts to look over at him, and found his icy-blue eyes were staring at her. Or, rather, not at her, but her chest. She raised a brow, but he didn't seem to notice as he stared at her breasts, caught between confusion and enthrallment.

"…What're you doing?" she asked at last.

"What are these?" he asked in return and, before she could reply, he reached out and poked her chest. Out of reaction, she slapped it away and he pulled back, even more confused.

"Sorry! That was, um… a reaction. You, uh… Don't do that."

"Poke your chest? What's wrong with that? I've done it before."

"That was different. Guys don't just poke girls' boobs. It's, um… a decency thing again."

"But don't males touch 'boobs' all the time? I've overheard some of the other male humans talking about how—."

"Whoa! Whoa! Stop right there!" she shouted, throwing up her arms for emphasis as her cheeks began to warm. "That's different! Totally different!"

"Unn… I'm getting confused. How is it different?"

She flushed more, "It's um… Only couples really do that. Touching the boob thing, I mean."

"Aren't we a 'couple', though?" he inquired, rubbing his chin. "At least, that's supposed to the same thing as bond mate. Sorta. So it's okay if I touch your 'boob'?"

"No!" she squeaked, ears turning red now, and he looked at her with a flicker of amusement at her state. "Sideswipe, please stop asking those kinds of questions, okay? I'm not sure how much more I can take."

"Why's wrong with it? Doesn't everyone else do it or something?"

"Yeah, I guess they do. But I… er… I've never… had that, so y'know… Ugh. This is so embarrassing," she groaned, putting her face into her hands and bringing up her knees so she could put her hands against her legs. "Let's just keep acting like hoe we were when you were Cybertronian, okay? That was a lot better."

"Slag yeah it was. Always thought that exchanging mouth fluids was slaggin' sick, anyways," he replied, wrinkling his nose, and then frowned briefly before doing the action again and again. "'Cat, what is this? What's my olfactory sensor doing? It's weird and it did it on its own, but I can do it whenever I want, too!"

Catherine looked up from her hands and, despite her earlier state, laughed as her now-human bond mate continuously wrinkled and relaxed his nose. He didn't appreciate being laughed up, though continued to do the action.

She sighed, "I have got so much to explain to you."

-O-

By some sheer force of luck, she managed to get through a lot of explanations before Sideswipe's mind began to wander a bit. Once or twice he attempted to poke her breast again, but a few smacks put a stop to that, and it eventually became comical rather than humiliating. She knew it had become a game for him when he grinned like the devil after she'd slapped him away once. Thankfully, the game was retired until some other time of his choosing, and she managed to explain many more human customs for a few more hours until—in the midst of a pause—a stomach grumbled and the young, dark-haired man grabbed at his. She chuckled lightly, knowing exactly what had happened; he was hungry. When denied Energon he pouted, but a quick call to Ratchet got her the confirmation she needed to go get him normal food. She was asked to start lightly, though—he didn't know if his new body would have any strange effects to anything. With a promise that he would stay put, Catherine scampered off to the human side to grab some grub.

As it so happened, her father got off duty then, and he happily joined her. Although "happily" meant he drilled her about what she had been doing for the past few hours, to which she calmly replied she had taught Sideswipe their ways. When he grunted, narrowed his eyes, and scowled, she quickly added that it was not "those" ways. It didn't calm him outwardly, but he said no more. He did follow her back to her room after she got some food, however, and she didn't need him to say anything to know he was intent on making sure nothing happened between them. Catherine had to admit it was a little annoying, but at the same time it was kind of nice, and she greatly pitied any boy who would dare try to flirt with Annabelle.

That pity quickly transferred to Sideswipe, whom, upon their entry into their room, was found pillaging through her drawers, checking out one of her pairs of underwear. Other clothes were around them, too, and he had his shirt off to boot. Needless to say, Lennox was not happy and would have clobbered him had Catherine not intervened and the young man not shouted he was just trying to find something more comfortable to wear. Her father backed off then—but only a little. He refused to leave even when Sideswipe had put his shirt back on and the redhead presented him his food. The once-Cybertronian stared at the meal—some chicken and vegetables—with a scrunched nose, and tentatively used the fork awkwardly to pick up the food and, even more awkwardly, put it into his mouth. Per the redhead's urging, he chewed and had his first fight of Earth food. And loved it.

In fact, he loved it so much he nearly choked as he tried to scoff it down. It took Lennox's intervention so save him from suffocating, and it was also her father's stern griping that made him eat much slower. The same went for his drink, which, although was just water, was better than most any Energon he remembered drinking. Unfortunately, since he had finished his meal, he was open to attack by Lennox, whom wasted no time giving the young man a death glare while grabbing his shirt and pulling their faces unnecessarily close. Sideswipe was at first angry, but some innate sense his new human body had made him shrink underneath the father's gaze, and he was silent as the man gruffly warned him to never, ever even so much as think about doing anything to his daughter.

While Sideswipe had no idea what Lennox was talking about, he still nodded vehemently, and then visible relaxed when he was shoved back down onto the bed. He looked to Catherine wearily, who gave him a sheepish grin in return for surviving his first encounter with a protective "Dad". Both straightened as if they done something wrong, though, when her father turned back to them and began to drill them on what Sideswipe had learned so far. It took them a while—in part because she had to often re-explain things to her bond mate, whom hadn't paid as much attention as she thought—and because Lennox would, more often than not, add in his own quip or alteration to some explanations. However, that all came to a pause as a look of discomfort and confusion came over Sideswipe's face.

As it turned out, he needed to take a leak. For that, Catherine was actually very thankful her father was there to take her bond mate into her bathroom and show him what to do. She got a good laugh when she heard Sideswipe's cries of "ew", and she imagined her father was laughing, too, although he wouldn't show it. She couldn't keep the chuckles back when they came out, either— the young man with a look of pure revulsion while he shook the last of the water from his hands. He promptly proclaimed he would never do that again only to be informed he would have to do so for every day that he was human—generally many times a day, in fact. He groaned and flopped back, asking aloud if Ratchet was done finding the cure yet.

Some good news did manage to come then: Lennox, deciding he'd done what he needed, let Catherine know he and Prime had pulled some strings and allowed her a week off duty. His hope was that would be enough time to fix the problem, but, regardless, the redhead happily hugged and thanked her father. Then, he left, though not without a final warning for Sideswipe not to touch Catherine. The redhead chuckled at the sentiment, but her bond mate did not share it all; he grumped instead and folded his arm as he lay on his back.

And from there, things slowed down for the two. Most of the time was spent teaching Sideswipe the ways of humankind, and it honestly did take up most of it; he asked questions mid-explanation all the time because he didn't understand, or he would become distracted by some silly thing. At the very least, though, he was beginning to understand some of it. He, thankfully, had learned the majority of "taboos", and promised not to break them. The rest would show itself as they went along, though Catherine hoped no one would find out so they wouldn't have to test such things, but she didn't have much faith in such wants. She could count on the fact Sideswipe did want to get back to his Cybertronian form as soon as possible, and, while she didn't admit it, she did miss him as the silver mech. She had gotten so used to it that the young man before her was both familiar and yet a stranger. She wasn't sure whether she liked it or not, and that was annoying.

There wasn't much more to say on it as the hours flew by, and soon enough she was getting the both of them dinner. Sideswipe also managed to the bathroom on his own after learning she could not be in there the same time he was. Their next explanation was even more awkward as he yawned, became visibly drowsy, and she noted it was time for bed. Being that they had one bed, they would have to sleep together, and, while Catherine flushed at the idea, her bond mate was more so perplexed how it would work. Embarrassed through the entire thing—as she had been pretty much all day—she helped settle it so they each got their own pillow and placed themselves close enough to share the bed. Sleepily, he managed to mention how it wasn't that bad, and Catherine had to admit she agreed a little. The thought was lost, however, as both she and Sideswipe fell deep into slumber.

-O-

"Someone's… knocking…" her bond mate's voice grumbled as he was pulled from his sleep, and Catherine sat up, though had to pause as she realized two arms were wrapped around her waist. Her cheeks reddened as she realized she had become Sideswipe's pillow during the night, and she attempted to free herself, only to be pulled tighter as the black-haired young man curled his head more into her side. She sighed, though had to admit it was cute, and only felt a little bad for prying him away to make her way to the door. She opened it, expecting her adoptive father, but was surprised to find Anthony instead.

"Heya, kidoo!" he called happily. "Thought I'd come check in on you since you went missing yest….er… day…."

The redhead didn't need to look to know exactly where the Italian man's eyes had drifted to. They widened slightly at the sight of the young man, and then one eyebrow rose higher than the other. A flicker of a mischievous grin crept onto his face, and Catherine mentally sighed as she realized what was coming next.

"Who is that in your bed?" he inquired, not unlike a gossiping school girl.

She peered out into the hallway, which was empty, "It's Sideswipe. Now drop it, or I drop kick you."

"Well that's a weird na—wait."

"Please, take your time. We've got all day, actually," she hummed, rubbing the bridge of her nose. Behind her, the young man grumbled and turned the other way.

"Make them go away!" he shouted grumpily, and she had to grin as she realized her bond mate was a bit of a Prima Donna. It grew when Anthony's face portrayed what had to be the most fantastic completely baffled face in the history of mankind. Chuckling, she stepped around her teammate and gently pushed him inside, closing the door behind them. He continued to stare at Sideswipe, whom finally pushed himself up and rubbed at his eyes. He was in shorts and shirt—as was Catherine per her urging—and his hair was a hot mess in the redhead's opinion. Anthony, however, was still trying to wrap his mind around the fact even as he came up close to the young man.

"Okay, don't freak out, but this is Sideswipe. Y'know, that tall, silver, and cocky robot with wheel feet?"

"That's not him," her teammate spoke, jabbing a finger at the young man.

Her bond mate snorted, "Trust me—I don't like to believe it, either."

"Don't worry, I thought that, too, but it's him. Even Ratchet said so," Catherine told him, a serious expression on her face.

Anthony whistled, "Da-amn. This is some cracked up shit. How'd it even happen?"

"Well, it's a funny story—wait. You believe us? Just like that?" the redhead inquired, and he shrugged.

"I don't see why you'd lie about it. Besides, the docbot said so and he doesn't do jokes. And then neither you nor your robo-boy would let some random dude into this room. So, yeah. I believe you. It's out-of-this-world crazy, but, yeah, I believe you."

"Ah. Well. Um. Thanks. I think?"

"Can we just go back to sleep. My systems are still so sloooow," Sideswipe groaned, his eyes and head drooping.

"So. How'd this happen?" Anthony asked, gesturing at her sleepy bond mate.

"Well," she began, rubbing the back of her head, "Ratchet thinks it had something to do with an accident in the Medbay, but he's still working on it. We don't know how long he'll be like this, either."

He whistled, "Man, that sucks. Well, for him, I guess. I bet you like it, eh 'Cat?"

"N-no!" she gasped, flushing, and he only laughed more. Beside them, Sideswipe groaned and flopped back down, pulling the pillow over his head.

"I'm just kidding. I know you're not like that… or are you?" he purred, wiggling his brows, and she promptly punched his shoulder. "Sorry, couldn't help myself! But, hey—have you told Lennox yet?"

"Uh, yeah. I kind of had to call him to bring clothes for 'Sid—shut up!" she howled when a grin suddenly appeared on Anthony's face.

"What? I didn't say anything?"

She jabbed a finger at him, "But I know what you were thinking! Perv. Besides, I've already explained a lot of that stuff to Sideswipe and he doesn't really think of it like we do so calm down. Also, please don't let this get around. We're trying to keep it low key, and not just with the humans. Ratchet's doing what he can to keep the other Autobots from knowing, too."

"Why won't you guys stop talking?!" the dark-haired young man growled, finally pulling the pillow off. He paused for a moment before adding, "I'm hungry again. That's what the weird belly sensation is, right? Hungry?"

The redhead sighed, "Yes. It means you're hungry. Anthony, mind doing me a favor and sticking here to watch over him?"

"Sure, sure. They're serving omelets today, so he's going to enjoy that," the Italian mused and, after thanking him and quickly changing in the bathroom, she hurried off, leaving the two men together. Sideswipe, rubbing his stomach, was unprepared as Anthony sat down beside him, wrapped an arm around his neck, and pulled him close, though didn't look right at him. Confused, Sideswipe meant to pull away, but found the more muscular man's grip unbreakable. The worry began to set in then—as did the foolishness as he wondered why the hell he was afraid of some human.

"So. You messing with our little 'Cat, huh? You think you're good enough, huh?" he began, his grip tightening a bit. "Well, I'mma tell you right now you better not try anything on her, you got that? 'Cause if me n' the other guys hear anything… Well, let's just say it's not Lennox you gotta worry about. Yeah, he's going to skin you alive, but we're going to kill you."

Sideswipe, despite himself, swallowed, "W-what?"

"Y'see, my friend. Catherine –who's basically the little sister of the group except for Lennox, who's her daddy—told us about how you and her are bond mates or something, and that it's like you're a couple or whatever, and that was cool when you were a robot. But you're a dude now, and that means we can beat the ever-living crap out of you, and we will. So don't hurt Catherine, alright? If you follow that one rule, then we're going to be good."

"Um… O-okay…"

"'Atta boy," Anthony smiled, finally releasing him only to slap his back hard. Sideswipe arched at the sudden pain, and glowered at the larger man, whom just continued to look on as if nothing had happened. The dark-haired young man, on the other hand, scowled and scooted away, not liking things at all. He didn't even understand why he was suddenly cold again, or why his outer frame—skin, he was pretty sure it was called—was wet. It was nasty, but at least it came off on the sheets. And then what was with all of Catherine's teammates? They'd never been like this before, and it was really annoying. To make matters worse, he wasn't sure he could actually defend himself if they did come after him. It was humiliating. Slag he wanted to be Cybertronian again soon.

Thankfully, the awkward silence that had settled in wasn't given long to last, as Catherine returned with two plates of food, one of which she handed to Sideswipe. Like before, he happily scarfed down the food, though paid heed to how fast so as to not choke again. Anthony left them then, promising he wouldn't tell anyone except the team. Because the last part of the promise had come just before he'd slipped out the door, there wasn't much the redhead was able to do, so she ended up groaning and just eating more of her food. What she didn't finish she gave to her bond mate, whom happily ate that, too. In the meantime, she decided it would be good to see how Ratchet's progress was going.

Evidently it was going slowly, and they were ordered to come to the Medbay for a check-up, too. Sideswipe groaned at the idea—he was quiet comfortable in the bed—but she convinced him to get up. Like yesterday, his legs were a little wobbly, but he did much better getting to the medical room. He only stumbled once or twice, and did so without having to hold his arms out. He definitely took pride in it, and wasted no time boasting when they entered through the doors.

"Well, I suppose it's good to see his personality hasn't been affected," Ratchet mused as he lifted them up to the countertop.

"Please tell us you at least found something that's going to help," she sighed as she sat cross-legged on the surface. Sideswipe joined her, carefully attempting to match his legs like hers.

The medic frowned slightly, "Not… per say… But hold on a klik while I scan him again."

It was done and over within seconds, and so was whatever comparison and data compilation he was making. In fact, the part that took the longest was the time he spent humming and rubbing his metal chin, deciding on what he wanted to say.

"Good news is that his body is perfectly healthy still. I did detect a small change in the Cybertronian percentage of his make-up, but nothing to worry about. Although," he began, trailing off to, again, rub his chin thoughtfully.

"'Although'?!" the two of them shouted, both standing up abruptly.

He raised his hands for peace, "Calm down, you two. I mean that I think the process that turned you human is reversing itself on its own. As I told you, your Cybertronian composition has increased to about fifty-seven percent. It leads me to believe you will eventually return to your former body on its own, but I can't be sure."

"How long would it take for me to go back?" Sideswipe asked, but the medic shrugged.

"Again, I can't be sure. I'll require more scans taken over a few solar cycles—sorry, I meant Earth days, Catherine. Until then, I don't know how fast the process with progress."

"What about Jolt's machine? Can't that do something to help?" the redhead suggested, gesturing to the weapon lying on the counter.

He looked back at it briefly, "It's possible… but I wouldn't know what to do. I had considered just shooting it again at the same levels, but that just might complete remove your Cybertronian elements or offline you, and, even if I knew how to reverse its polarities, I don't know if that would work either."

"Why don't you ask Jolt about it then? It's his invention!" Sideswipe barked, folding his arms.

"He doesn't know what would happen, either, and he said attempting to alter the polarities is extremely difficult. It's something maybe only Wheeljack or Perceptor would understand, and neither of them arriving here any time soon, if at all. The best we can do is wait and see what happens for this first 'week', I believe it's called in human terms."

"Oh, you've got to be slagging kidding me!" the dark-haired man cried, and Catherine touched his shoulder gently in an attempt at comfort. He didn't shrug it off, but he didn't relax, either.

"Sideswipe, I am sorry, but there's not much I can do. Catherine was the first of her case when she had Energon poisoning, and yours is something entirely different and far more complex!"

"I just want to be back to normal. Being human is awful!" he growled, folding his arms. This time the redhead wrapped an arm around his shoulder and pulled him close. Despite his annoyance, he leaned into the contact and even liked it more than he remembering liking her touch. The more he realized he liked it, the more he leaned into it.

"Don't worry, 'Sides. We'll figure this out, you'll see," she told him gently, locking her other arm around his chest. He made a half-grunt as he continued to lean into her, nuzzling his head into her neck, which was extremely comfy. In return, she began to use the arm she draped over his shoulders to start brushing through his hair. He liked that, too.

"I know this is… difficult, but I swear by my spark I'll figure this out. Just… just give it time. You could… Well, Catherine, you could show him more of your human things and maybe some of your activities."

"'Activities'?" she inquired back, still brushing through the black locks, which made him "purr" a little.

"Well, he is still very much human; his body requires human needs, too, as his consumption of your food shows. He will no doubt require exercise to keep his body healthy and in shape, so it would do him well to what I believe you call 'going for a run'. It would increase his balance and coordination, as well."

"What about not letting him be seen?" she replied and had to shift as Sideswipe's weight began to bear down too much on her shoulder. Unprepared, his head fell into her lap, but he found that quite comfortable too—no doubt from his earlier experience when waking up—and happily cuddled her waist. Catherine, although her attention focused mostly on the medic, smiled.

"There are unused hangers here on the island that will be useful, and I'm sure Lennox can help. Prime, too, will aid in keeping the others from disturbing you. It helps most of our troops are off base at the moment, and that those here believed Prime's story of Sideswipe being sent on a solo reconnaissance mission under 'radio silence' as you might call it."

"Well, I am amazing enough for that to work," the once-Cybertronian hummed just as he looked up at the red head. "Do that thing again—with your hand on my head."

She chuckled, "Alright, alright. Anyways, I guess we can do that. It shouldn't be too much of a problem if we don't go to the human side."

"I ask you come for a scan before he enters recharge as well, and then back here the same time tomorrow."

"I think we can do that. Right, 'Sides?" she mused, pausing in her scratched to look down by leaning over him some. He turned his head a little to look, but merely mumbled a half-hearted "yeah, yeah, sure" before curling into her again. "That means we have to get up and get you some workout clothes. Which also means you have to let me go."

"Nnn… don't wanna," he grumbled, but, per her urging his arms apart, he finally relented and let her drag him up. He was grumpy about it, though, and not even Ratchet's stern look could break him of it as the medic set them back down. He remained grumpy all the way back to their room, too, and meant to cuddle again on the bed, but Catherine put a stop to that by making a call to her adoptive father for a pair of jogging clothes. Knowing the inevitable danger that would come from the man seeing them doing anything, regardless of how innocent, Sideswipe backed off and waited for Lennox to arrive with a pair of workout shorts and T-shirt.

As he expected—and much to his disappointment—Lennox was going to be staying with them throughout the exercises, and was even the deciding factor on where it would happen; the hanger closest to the human wing without having to worry about humans. There, they began to work. It started slowly at first; they had him powerwalk for one lap, and, his balance in check, they tried a light jog. That actually came easily to him—it helped he had figured out the balance thing—and he managed to go a good many laps before he suddenly stopped, complaining about how his chest burned and his legs felt wobbly again. They put an end to the cardio, and let him rest and drink for a little before trying others; push-ups; squats; lunges; and more. Like jogging, it didn't last long, and he was soon complaining how he felt like his servos were about to fall off. Both Lennox and Catherine got a laugh out of it, to which he didn't like at all, but he lost some of that grumpiness when they decided he had done enough.

He was allowed back to his room then, and the two of them were left alone once more—her father apparently okay with it for now. Catherine was actually glad for it because of one undeniable fact her nose had come to understand: they both stank. Sideswipe especially. She knew the cure and quickly explained to him that he needed to shower. Following it was the explanation for how to do that, and then he was shoved into the bathroom with the extra pair of clothing her father had brought earlier and told him that, no, she could not be in there with him to help. Confused as usual, he attempted the motions, but, as Catherine expected, it didn't take long for him to call out for her.

Sighing, she leaned against the door frame, "What happened?"

"Slaggit all my eye slagging hurts and I can't see and it's still burning and I don't know what the frag happened, so just help me!"

"Sideswipe, calm down! You just got soap in your eyes. It happens to everyone. Just open them into the water and let it clean them. You'll feel better, I promise!" she replied, and had to wait a few moments before she heard him cry out again. She sighed, knocking on the door. "What happened this time?"

"It hurts more now! Fraggin', slaggin' piece of scrap—just come in here! I can't fraggin' see for scrap!"

"I told you I—"

"I don't care! Just come in and help! C'mon, 'Cat! I can't see!"

Catherine half-sighed, half-groaned as she pinched the brow of her nose, and told herself it was a bad idea. She really knew she shouldn't be going in there even if they were technically boyfriend and girlfriend. She supposed she should just be thankful her dad wasn't there to hear or see her open the door and step into the room. She was even more thankful her bond mate had had kept the shower curtain pulled, making it so she wasn't subjected to his nude form again. She could make out a silhouette though and, from it, she could tell he had his hands on two of the walls for balance. Shaking her head, she walked over to side he was facing.

"Okay, I'm here. I'm, uh, just… Um… Just stand still," she spoke and pulled back the curtain a little. She made sure to keep her eyes strictly on his face, which was constricted with pain. Indeed, there were soap suds on his face and his eyes were squeezed shut tight. She swallowed slowly—still trying to keep from looking down, and reached out to touch his arm. He only flinched a little.

"Just make it stop burning!" he shouted, waving at the ceiling, although she supposed he meant to point at his face.

"Calm down, calm down. Now, move this way a bit aaand—there," she replied, easing him into the stream of water, which had also soaked her a bit. From there, she quickly worked to wipe away the subs and then helped force his eyes open. He struggled against that the most, but as soon as she insulted his pride as a warrior he steadied himself. It did the trick; he opened his eyes, although they were a little red and still looked pain.

"Slaggit all finally," he whined, rubbing at them. "Mind staying in here in case it happens again?"

"I really shouldn't, and you'll be fine," she began to reply, her eyes falling down, but then shot up quickly as she flushed. She turned away before he could see and hurried to the door.

"Hey—wait! 'Cat, please! I don't like this soap scrap and I don't want it to happen again!" he cried out, and she looked back only to throw her head back so her eyes were at the ceiling. Her bond mate, of course, had not pulled the shower curtain back, and left himself exposed.

"Sideswipe, I told you I can't be in here with you."

"But don't human mates do this, though? Be in the bathroom or whatever?"

She flushed more, "It's—we're—just—ugh! Fine! I'll stay in here, but close the damn curtain!"

"Okay, okay, jeez!" he laughed, victorious, and did as told. Catherine, meanwhile, took up sitting on the toilet, putting her head into her hands, and mentally screaming. This was really just too much, but he just didn't get it, and that kind of made it a lot worse. At least he had closed the curtain, so she wouldn't subject to his… private parts. She flushes at just the thought and brought her knees up to squish her face into them.

She kept it glued there even as the sound of water turned off and the curtain moved. She heard him fumbling around and grumbling about how the "towel" thing worked, and, once it was ended, she looked up. Her eyes were turned to the door in the next moment as she blushed harder.

"Put the god damned towel on, Sideswipe!" she squeaked. Her bond mate frowned as he tried it again, and managed to succeed well enough that he was covered.

"I still don't get what's the deal about that," he hummed, and she sighed again.

"I know. Just go with it, okay? And please get out so I can shower next."

"Alright," he frowned, puzzled by the sudden hint of anger in her tone. He quickly snatched up his clothes and opened the door to leave. He paused, thought, to look back at her as she ran a hand through her hair. "You okay, 'Cat?"

She looked up at him for a moment before nodding, "Yeah. I'm fine. I just… this whole thing is so weird I think it's stressing me out."

"Trust me—I know how you feel," he snorted."

"Yeah. Anyways, get on, you," she replied with a sigh. Once the door was closed, she quickly locked it, stripped, and got into the shower herself. The water was still warm from before, but she decided she didn't like it. Her face was hot enough as it was, so she turned it to cold. The water did well to cool her down, and soon the embarrassing thoughts were settled as well. It allowed her to focus on the situation at hand, which, in turn, made her frown.

Everything was all so strange. She wasn't prepared for all of it, and she didn't just mean her bond mate suddenly becoming human. She didn't know how to deal with a relationship—a human one, that is. Her first attempt had ended up a huge cluster-fuck and even when she had returned to normal she hadn't even so much as flirted with any other guys before. Whenever Anthony had first "flirted" with her she had always gotten embarrassed, but then eventually got used to it, and she couldn't recall anyone else flirting with her. She supposed Michael might have, but that had ended poorly, too. Then there was the fact she had gotten into a relationship with Sideswipe, who was Cybertron and had an entirely different custom when it came to such things. They had shared a bond—one in which she had discovered more intimacy than she ever thought possible. They had been one; their feelings and minds had been able to touch each other in such a way that she knew she didn't need any other kind of touch. But that was gone, now.

She winced at the memory of it—still fresh on her mind even after so many months—and her chest ached a little. She washed it out by shoving her head under the flow of water, and focused back on her previous train of thought. The bond had been taken, and with it that intimacy. Yet, she hadn't needed anything more still. She was happy with Sideswipe and just being around him even if he was a giant, metal alien who couldn't hold her hand or anything. She didn't need all of that, but now he was human. The bond had to be really gone now, although his presence was still there. It was different, though, and what about the rest? God, it was all so confusing. She just couldn't figure it all out.

With a sigh, she cleared her mind. If she couldn't figure it out in the shower, then there was probably no hope for it, so she finished up her wash instead. The distraction did well, and she managed to stay fairly calm all the way through it and out of the shower. It drastically faltered, though, as she realized she'd left her clothes outside. She cursed and then cursed again when she realized her previous ones were too sweaty to even think of putting on. Groaning, she steeled herself and quickly shuffled outside to her drawers. Sideswipe was out there lounging on the bed, thankfully fully dressed, and, of course, he stared at her as she grabbed them. While he had seen her partially naked before, he had been Cybertronian then and didn't care for it, but he was human now so it was different. Or, she was sure it was. Was it, though? She didn't really want to think about it as she scurried back into the bathroom where she splashed water on her face to calm down again.

When she dressed and came back out, he was still lounging there, but staring down towards his legs, confused. She raised a brow, but said nothing as she sat down next to him and leaned on the bed post. She waited as his mouth frowned and his eyebrow scrunched a bit more before he finally leaned towards her.

"Hey, 'Cat. That thing between my legs feels weird, but not like bathroom-weird."

She paused, "Wait… what? When did it happen?"

"I dunno… I think it happened when you came out to get your clothes? Do I just go to the bathroom or something?"

"Um… wait—Oh. Oh. Oh my fucking God. Um. Well. You… um… you… um, just… uh," she started, her cheeks growing warm, and she refused to look towards him. "Just… think… about… something… nasty. That, um… should work. Oh my God."

"Wait, what's wrong with me?"

"N-nothing is. Don't worry about it. Just think of something nasty."

"Um… okay," he hummed, and, about a minute later, "Oh, hey. It worked. What was that?"

"Askmydad," she blurted out quickly, ears turning red now.

"Well, I didn't get any of that, so whatever. Anyways, what are we gonna do now? I don't wanna be stuck in here again."

She shrugged, "Most of us just hang out with friends either on the beach or wherever. Otherwise, we're eating, on duty, or training."

"Oh, hey—since I don't have gears or wheel feet I can go on the beach without getting it stuck everywhere, right?" he inquired, perking up and leaning closer.

"Yeah, that's right, you can… but I don't know if we should let any humans see you. They might ask questions—like where you came from," she replied as she turned to face him better. She had pulled both legs onto the bed and, having noticed; Sideswipe quickly wrapped his arms around her waist and places his head in her lap. She raised a brow at the action, though she grinned. "I'm guessing you like this?"

"It's really comfy and I like it. And frag everyone else. I wanna do something fun, and I don't give a slag about them asking any questions."

"Even if it's going to cause me and all the Autobots problems?"

He paused and then huffed, "Okay fine. I'm still bored and wanna do something other than learning about being human."

"Um… what about the Internet?"

"You mean that World Wide Web thing? I've seen it."

"To do more than learn English?"

"Er—well, no. I guess not."

She laughed, "Alright, well, then you're going to get your first look into YouTube."

"'Youtube'?" he inquired as she pulled away briefly to snag her laptop. He, much to his content, was allowed to keep his head on her legs while she opened the web page and started to play videos.

While it took him a while to understand it, it wasn't long before he was laughing at some of the videos and asking for more. Needless to say, he loved it. He literally spent hours upon hours just looking up videos and watching them. Catherine was actually shocked that, even when she'd left to get him food, he was still going through them. He'd even been reluctant to leave when he had to go to the bathroom, but, upon hearing he felt a strange sensation in his butt, she forced him to go. The next few minutes were comedy gold as he was, again, disgusted by what the human body could do. He refused to budge from the bed after that—even when Lennox came by with more clothes and to check up on them.

For once, her adoptive father wasn't so murderous during his stay, although even if he had been, she was sure her bond mate would have ignored him in favor of the videos. Whatever the case, Lennox came and went without incident and the two were able to spend the rest of the day perusing the Internet until he began to fall asleep. Catherine got a good giggle out of watching his head fall, perk up quickly, fall again, perk up again, and repeat until, at last, it fell and didn't get back up. It was only then that she shut the laptop down, moved him under the covers, prepped for bed, and then got in next to him. He was sleeping soundly by that time, and, as she too began to go, a flicker of a thought crossed her mind.

Maybe things weren't so bad this way.

-O-

Then again, maybe things were bad.

Sideswipe was gone. And not just from the bed. He wasn't even hiding in the bathroom. He was gone—as in gone from the room. He had left without her. He had left the room when he wasn't supposed to. Of course, she panicked and dressed as fast as she could before running as fast as she could through the hallways, first to the Medbay, but Ratchet wasn't in there so he couldn't have gotten in. She ran for the hangar they worked out in next, but that was empty. Her mind began to freak a little at that point, and it was ready to explode with the infinite bad possibilities of what his disappearance meant. By some weird chance of luck, she ran into Epps walking around the Autobot side, and quickly called out for him.

"Epps! Epps! Have you seen Si—I mean, a guy with black hair and really, really bright blue eyes?" she asked quickly, but then became confused as the black man suddenly chuckled.

"You mean have I seen 'Sideswipe', kiddo? The answer is 'yes', and it's why I came over here—I was lookin' for ya."

"You were… wait—you've seen Sideswipe? Where'd he go!? I'm going to kill that jerk!" she raved. She wasn't to be calmed when her teammate wrapped his arm around her shoulders and began to lead her the way he had come, either. She fumed even as he explained that her bond mate had been wandering through the human area trying to find the kitchen so he could get something to eat. Luckily, Anthony had seen him and was even more luckily going to get breakfast himself. While it relieved Catherine to know Sideswipe was with her team, she was still mad that he had left without telling her, and she was all too keen on glaring daggers into the back of his head when she and Epps entered the cafeteria. He, of course, didn't notice until she dug her fingers into his collar bone as she sat down beside him.

"O-ow! 'Cat!" he yelped, grabbing at her wrist, but she didn't let go.

"Heeeeeeeeey there, you. So. Left without telling me did you?" she purred innocently.

He pouted, "You were still sleeping and I didn't want to wake you."

"Good thing I was around to find you, eh, Sean?" Anthony mused from across the table, earning a raised brow

"Well, 'Sean', I guess I forgive you then, but don't do it again," she barked, jabbing a finger at him after releasing his shoulder, and then turned to her teammate. "Thanks. Glad to know you're watching my back."

"Sure thing, kiddo."

"What I want to know," Jackson started from his spot beside Anthony, "is how the hell this happened."

Catherine glanced around, "Um, well. This… isn't exactly the right place to say… Let's um.. just call it… a… medical accident."

" A 'medical accident'? I think that's kind of an understatement," Fig spoke, jabbing his spoonful of oatmeal at her.

"You're telling me," Sideswipe snorted as he bit into his piece of toast. "And slag this stuff is good."

"Look, I can explain this later, but just know it will hopefully all be over soon. Maybe."

"You don't know?" Epps asked this time, and she shook her head. "Well, that sucks."

Anthony's eyebrows wiggled, "Not for her."

Catherine's cheeks flushed as she glared at the Italian man while her teammates all paused and stared at her. She growled out an "I-hate-you", but that only made her teammate snort with laughter while the others became more curious.

"So, 'Cat. Why don't you tell us about, ah, what 'ol Anthony hear is talkin' about, yeah? 'Cause, ah, I'm a little curious, and I bet your daddy will be, too," Epps mused, and the redhead had to smack her face with her palm.

Fig turned a fierce gaze on Sideswipe, "Yeah, Sean. What have you two been doing?"

"Slaggit all, what is with you guys and getting all like… like this," he growled, gesturing to them. "We haven't done anything."

"They sleep together," Anthony spoke quickly, and Catherine could have killed him right then and there as the other three all turned onto Sideswipe. Her bond mate, confused as ever, pulled away, nearly leaning on top of her.

"Oh my God, Anthony and the three of you—stop! We haven't done anything. He just sleeps in my bed because he's got nowhere else and he can't stay over here!" she hissed lowly so only they could here. "And, c'mon—you know I wouldn't be forced into thing! Not that he even gets it!"

"Yeah, you guys can cool down. I was just joshing around," the Italian laughed, waving their anger off. All three reigned in some, but still eyed the young, dark-haired man every once in a while. Sideswipe, shrugging it all off, continued to eat while Catherine let her head fall onto the table with a groan.

"So how do you plan on explaining lover boy?" he continued, and the redhead looked over at her bond mate.

She sighed, "I don't know. I guess I can make up something about a new recruit I'm personally training. Probably like some new liaison or whatever. To be honest, I'm hoping I can just take him back and people will forget about him."

"I wouldn't count on it," Jackson hummed, and his eyes gestured to somewhere behind her. She followed his gaze and found a table with a small group of fellow female soldiers looking this way—specifically at the back of Sideswipe's head.

"Oh yeah," Fig chuckled. "Some of the ladies have been checking him out. Some people just have some bad taste around here, but, eh. I'll find me a señorita soon enough."

"Have any of them tried talking to him or just looked?" the redhead inquired, her eyes narrowing at them.

"Nah, they've stayed clear with us here, but I saw a few others lookin' too," Epps responded, but then suddenly grinned as he looked at her. "Whoa, you jealous, kiddo?"

She flushed, "N-no!"

"What are you guys talking about? People are looking at me or something?" Sideswipe asked, still munching on his toast.

"Yeah, man. Some of the ladies are checking you out. They think you some hot stuff," Jackson laughed, though the young man only frowned.

"That means… they… like me? Right?"

Anthony snorted again, "Yes, Sean. It means they like you. Man, 'Cat—did you teach him anything?"

"Yes I did! He just refuses to listen!"

"So am I supposed to 'check them out', too? Or something?"

"No! No you do not!" she hissed, and all her teammates laughed.

"Oh, man, you are jealous!" Epps snickered. "You better put a claim on your boy then, else them ladies are gonna try and take him from you!"

"Okay, seriously—what the slag do you guys mean? I don't belong to anyone," her bond mate huffed, but was ignored as Fig leaned over towards the red head.

"You better do something about that, niña. Ladies can be pretty nasty when it comes to hounding after guys they like. My sister-in-law said so."

"Yeah, my wife said the same thing about her friend. She had to literally beat the other women away to get her husband," Jackson added, grinning like a fox.

"I know Sophia gets pretty damn territorial 'bout me when there are other ladies around. You should have seen how she used to get before she figured out 'Cat's like a little sister," Anthony snickered.

"What the frag? Am I being ignored?"

Epps chortled, "Man, that ain't nothin' on my girl! I swear she got into a fight with this one chick back in college and damn. It got nasty!"

"Yeah, so you better do somethin' now before the harpies swoop in, 'Cat," Fig winked at the redhead, whom, to her credit, had managed to remain calm throughout their pestering. However, with the final press she'd had enough. Slamming her hands on the table she stood up, dragging Sideswipe with her, who, in turn, dragged his last piece of toast with him.

"Screw you guys, we're leaving! But, just so you'll shut up!" she growled as she turned the young man around so he was in front of her and facing the table of chicks, whom were still watching. Then, much to her bond mate's surprise, she suddenly grasped his butt. He nearly dropped his piece of bread as she shouted, "This ass is mine!"

Beside them, Jackson, having been in the middle of taking a drink, sprayed all if it out onto the table while Fig choked on a slurp of his oatmeal, and both Anthony and Epps burst out in laughter. The other two joined them soon enough, and couldn't bring themselves to stop even when the redhead left with "Sean", whom was trying really hard to understand what the hell had just happened, but eventually decided to let it go in favor of his toast. Catherine, meanwhile, continued to fume as she dragged her bond mate by the hand out of the room, her face bright red. Anyone in the area was ignored, although many stared at the two. Their stares soon followed the rest of her team as they also hurried out to follow them. One such person tracking their movement turned to his friend across the table once they were gone and said what most everyone else was thinking, too.

"We should come to this lunch more often."

Catherine, however, was not thinking the same thing, and was not happy to have her teammates join them, although they congratulated her on her "claiming". She promptly waved them off in favor of taking Sideswipe for his scan, but they followed her all the way and even after learning her bond mate's Cybertronian composition had increased again, though no more progress was made. Indeed, her team was intent on her following her and working out with her, constantly teasing and prodding the young man to do the same thing. Thankfully, she did manage to find a way to devoid herself of their annoyance, but at the same time she had to leave her bond mate in their care, which she wasn't sure was a good thing. However, her duty's call was too much to ignore and she let her comrades take Sideswipe away to keep him busy—also in part at his behest.

Barely even a minute into her work, she was actually glad she had made the choice. For one, she knew she wouldn't have been able to get anything done had the young man been with her, and she was also free of the teasing. Granted, trying to work through the paperwork was tedious as well, but not nearly as much as her teammate's constant metaphorical poking. She got most of it done, too, and was able to put it aside with an appeased mind when Sideswipe finally returned, looked tired, somewhat confused—no doubt about some human thing they had tried to explain, but also happier than usual. He was even more delighted to curl his head into her lap again, although this time she lay down, which let him put it his head on her stomach. He liked that, too—especially when she began to stroke her fingers through his hair.

"So, what'd you guys do?" she inquired as she closed her eyes.

"They mostly talked about weird human things. Like what they did for their mates or whatever. Something about 'dates'? I dunno. It was weird."

"Oh, a date. Yeah, couples will do that to spend quality time together."

He lifted his head up a little, "Do you want to go on a date?"

"Well," she began, leaning up on her elbow to look at him, "it never really came to mind, and, to be honest…well, actually, I don't know. We've never needed to go on dates, and we're generally pretty busy. Besides, I get to spend lots of quality time with you."

"Yeah, I guess that's true. But, you sure? I mean, if you want, I could take you on one, I guess. Those guys kept giving me tips and everything."

"Trust me, it's fine. I like being like this," she smiled, swirling her fingers through his hair a bit. He hummed pleasantly at the contact, nuzzling his head back into her stomach.

"So what else did they tell you? You were kinda confused when you came in here."

He lifted his head up again, frowning this time, and then released her to sit up. She sat up with him, watching as her folded his arms, thinking. It didn't long for him to rub the back of his head.

"Um, well… I forgot what they called it, but it was something like, well, they grab someone's head like this," he began and placed both of his hands on the side of her face. It was a little too rough, but she said nothing as he stared, unsure of what to do. "And, um… I think they said you do… this?"

She had no time to blush as he suddenly pressed their lips together, also a little too roughly, and then pulled away. She blinked, frozen in place for a moment as her brain tried to register what happened. Sideswipe, on the other hand, still frowned as he hummed, his hands still cupping her face.

"That seemed right. They said you push your lips together and it's supposed to feel good or something."

Regaining her composure, she squirmed out of his grip, "I-It's called a kiss."

"Oh. Oh yeah—that's right. Did I do it right?"

"Um… Y-yeah. You did," she mumbled, realizing that she did like it.

"I kinda liked it, too. Makes my mouth feel weird, but in a good way. Wanna do it again?" he asked, eyes bright like a child getting candy. She flushed harder as she looked away, and he tilted his head. "You didn't like it?"

"No, I did! I just—oh God I'm just so embarrassed by it all!" she wailed, falling back onto the bed with her head in her hands. Sideswipe lay down beside her on his stomach, frowning in puzzlement still.

"Why? Isn't this normal for humans?"

She sighed, "Maybe for most people, but… not me. You… Oh my God, you're actually my first kiss! Jesus Christ. God, just—look. 'Sides… I'm… I've never been in a normal human relationship before. I've never even really held a guy's hand in a romantic way or—or kissed! It's all just so weird and I don't know how to feel and, just—!"

An arm wrapped around her waist, and she found her back pulled up against Sideswipe's chest. His other arm soon wriggled its way underneath her and locked with the one on top while his head burrowed into her neck. Her heartbeat raced on the contact, and not just because of surprise..

"Hey, hey, it's okay. Calm down. If you don't wanna 'kiss' or whatever, it's fine. I was just wanting to do it 'cause I figured you'd like it. If you don't like it, then I'm not gonna do it," he spoke gently. Catherine was silent as he finished, though her fingers touched his and he opened them to interlock. She could feel his breath, warm and slow, on her neck, and it nearly sent shivers up her spine. She could hear his heartbeat, too, and it was almost in time with hers, although hers was beginning to sky-rocket again. Her cheeks had already reached hotter than the sun, but she didn't feel embarrassed this time. No, rather, it was nice. It was… It was like back with the bond—when they felt close all the time; like they were one person.

"It's not that I didn't like it," she murmured, unlocking her fingers to turn in his arms so that she faced his chest. "I just… I've never done it, so I'm a little uneasy about it."

He chuckled softly, "Is that it? C'mon, don't tell me you're scared of a little 'kiss'?"

"No, I'm not, you jerk," she laughed back, looking up to him. He grinned down back at her and then, again to her surprise, pressed their lips together. It was a bit longer this time and didn't freeze her as he pulled away, humming thoughtfully.

"Hmm, that does feel weird, but I still like it."

"It is pretty nice, although I like this cuddling better," she purred, nuzzling her head into his neck, too. He closed his grip a bit more, pulling her tighter and pressing his chin face against her hair.

He was quiet for a few moments before murmuring, "I like it better, too."

"What's wrong?" she asked, pulling away to look up at him. He was frowning a little again, but this time not with confusion. Rather, there was something else there; something hidden as he remained quiet. She watched his eyes drop to the hand she had placed on his chest. After what felt forever, he unlocked the arm resting over her and gingerly picked up the hand nearest to him. He stared at it intently, as he slowly and carefully settled his fingers between hers. His gaze dropped down then and he pressed their foreheads together, causing her heart to beat faster again.

"'Sides?" she asked carefully, looking up into his icy-blue eyes.

"It… It's just… I can… I can actually hold you now."

"You could hold me before."

His eyes closed, "Not like this, though. Here I can… I can really feel you. I can't feel your thoughts, but I can still feel you, and now I can hold you so close without hurting you. It's like—it's…"

"Like the bond," she breathed, and his eyes opened in acknowledgement.

"Yeah," was all he said before both became silent, fingers still entwined. Eventually, though, they did shift and their digits unlocked; his returned around her waist, and hers settled against his chest once more. Catherine nuzzled into his neck again, while he set his against the top of her head. Both closed their eyes, though they weren't tired, and stayed that way all through the remaining hours of the day and through the night when sleep took over. And throughout it all, an idea ran through Sideswipe' mind; one he never thought he would have—that it might not be so bad to be human.

-O-

The next few days passed by as quickly as the previous, though it was different, or it felt that way for Catherine and Sideswipe, at least. They couldn't explain it, not did they bother to try, and, instead, went about their days happily. For one, now that her bond mate's presence had been discovered by the public he was allowed to go over the human side and interact with her team for a few hours every day. Both enjoyed that a lot—particularly Sideswipe, whom had never bothered to learn any human games or customs, and found himself enjoying sports a great deal. His competitive drive from his Cybertronian form had followed him, and he was all too happy to try and crush his opponents once he got the hang of whatever they were playing.

Her team had taken a liking to Sideswipe, too, and no longer tried to intimidate him. The redhead figured it was because they had seen how they were together and accepted them as a couple. Unfortunately, the same could not be said of her adoptive father, whom refused to not send her bond mate death glares anytime he tried something intimate—even if it was just holding her hand. He was less outwardly unhappy about it, though, and it had become easier to ignore the stares with the help of the others. Still, it did not deter Lennox from checking up on his "little girl" when she and Sideswipe were alone in their room. Thankfully, none of those times had been during their "cuddling", which they had come to make a daily thing.

Part of the problem had actually occurred due to an incident during the second day, in which Sideswipe—with egging on from her teammates—had done possibly the worst and easily the most idiotic thing he could have done. It was during their time playing some beach volleyball, in which Sideswipe had noticed a few young men taking in interest in Catherine, and he did not like it. With the support of her teammates, he had boldly come up behind her, turned her to face the guys, grabbed her breasts from behind and shouted they were his. Needless to say, her teammates had died of laughter, and Sideswipe was in a world of hurt as, not only did the redhead punch him in the gut, but Lennox dragged him off to murder him. By some miracle, she convinced her adoptive father not to kill him, but he was under a lot of heat from then on.

It was around that time both of them began to wonder a bit more about how the "reverse-process" Ratchet had spoken of was going. Unfortunately, the medic still wasn't positive, although he confirmed Sideswipe's body was beginning to reach around seventy-one percent Cybertronian even though he still retained his human form. A new worry began to form at that point—one which wondered if Sideswipe would become a human-shaped Cybertronian by the end of it. The biggest problem was that Ratchet didn't know what would happen if all his human "components" vanished. When asked if he could somehow stop the change if it did become dangerous, the medic said he would work on it at once, but that they shouldn't worry and just continue on as they had. While it was troubling, both bond mates kept their heads up, and not just because Ratchet was watching their backs.

It hadn't been brought up, but the realization that things weren't so bad with Sideswipe being human had come to light. It had been a slow, almost unnoticed change, but, soon enough, he didn't complain all that much about human things. Some—namely the bathroom—were things he would groan about no matter what, but he had begun to listen more closely to explanations and tried to figure things out more. It was especially the case when it came to the redheaded young woman, and he tried to do what he could to make sure she stayed happy with how things were. Catherine, for her part, honestly just wanted to be around him more than anything else. Though, she didn't mind him trying to do things for her. It was cute.

One of the things that helped everything go by smoothly was the fact people on the base actually minded their own business for once. No one thought much of the two "incidents" that had occurred with Catherine and Sideswipe, and without almost any Autobots around to poke their noses into the silver mech's "sudden" departure on a mission, their secret was pretty well kept. Indeed, it was helpful, although Prime and Jolt had come around every once in a while to talk, which had been a little awkward. The electric-blue mech hadn't visited ever since the Medbay "accident", and so her bond mate had verbally insulted and threatened to offline him when he was back to normal when they finally saw him again. Optimus, on the other hand, had met up with them once or twice, checking up on their well-being and wishing them luck. Otherwise, he, too, was busy working with the government and they were left alone except when her teammates or her father came snooping.

All in all, it was a good three days that had gone by smoothly and happily.

It was why it was such a shame that on the seventh day since Sideswipe had become a human, things began to sour.

-O-

"Alright, so what's the news today, docbot?" Sideswipe called out from where he stood on the Medbay counter. He was alone this time, having come to the room by himself while Catherine was busy doing some work before she would meet him here and then they'd go to breakfast. As they'd done for days now, he was scanned and forced to wait the few seconds their medic needed to configure it all.

"Hold on, I'm almost done," Ratchet hummed as he went through the data a few more seconds before turning to them. "It would seem your body is eighty-eight percent Cybertronian now, but still distinctly human. I fear the change may be permanent."

"What? Are you sure? What about the tool thing? Could that do something?" he replied, gesturing to the item, which was now laying amongst other tools, which had been used on it.

"We're still working with it, though we are almost there. And, no, I'm not sure. It's only a possibility, but it's looking to be the outcome since you have not changed at all in the past Earth week."

Sideswipe's head fell as his hands clenched, his mind delving into deep thought. The medic looked at him sympathetically and even meant to reach out or comfort him in some way, but he wasn't sure how. He couldn't just tell the once-Cybertronian that it would be "alright" or "okay". Both knew very well the medic didn't know what to do, and that it might not be completely fine until it was fixed—if that was even possible. The medic still tried to think of something, and managed to put a few words together, but, before he could use them, the young, dark-haired man lifted up his head, icy-blue eyes filled with content.

"It's alright."

"Wait—what do you mean 'it's alright'? I thought you wanted to be back to normal?" Ratchet inquired. The once-Cybertronian breathed in deeply as he composed himself.
"Well, you said there's probably nothing we can do about it, and… and I don't mind being human. It's… It makes things like how me n' Cat had the bond, and it's better for her, too," he spoke, his voice unwavering. "I've been thinking about it for a while now, and, yeah, being human can be pretty slaggin' nasty, but… but being this way and being able to hold her like this with our hands or when we're in the room…"

The medic met his gaze for a long time before asking, "What about Sunstreaker?"

Sideswipe pulled back as if he had been struck and the resolve that had once flooded through him was suddenly dammed by realization. His eyes widened and shown signs of panic—he had forgotten. Ratchet frowned at the notion, but remained quiet as the young man struggled to find the words to respond.

"I… he…"

"You don't have your spark anymore, Sideswipe."

The young man glared, "I know that, Ratchet!"

"Do you know it means you don't have the bonds? Do you know what that means? Do you remember what happens when your bond with him is closed?"

"Of course I remember! I remember how slagged he was when—when he… When…," he replied, but faltered with narrowed eyes. The medic saw and frowned again, but let the young man continue, "Whatever—I know what it means, but what can I do? Besides, this is best for Catherine! Being human is what's best for her!"

"Is it, though? Did you ask her? Or is that an excuse?"

"Of course it is! She's so much happier this way, and what the slag Ratchet? Why are you doing this?"

He sighed, "Because while I am your medic, I am also your friend, Sideswipe. I am trying to protect you—even if it's from yourself. You must understand: you being human is not, in the long run, a good thing. As I told you, without a spark your bond with Sunstreaker is gone. Your brother, at this very moment, wherever he is, is not stable. Furthermore, your body is more Cybertronian than human. We don't know what this will do to you. Thirdly, we need you Sideswipe. We are at war with the Decepticons. We need all the soldiers we can get, and you are a very strong and foolish one. You literally throw yourself into danger and I know you will continue to do so, but I cannot repair you if you get hurt. You are not made from a metal frame—you are flesh and bones. That cannot be welded back together. And lastly, is this better for Catherine?"

Sideswipe was quiet for a long, long time. His fists were clenched at his side and his eyes had grown hard as the medic's words sunk in. Ratchet could only watch on, silently hoping his words would be enough. While he did approve of their relationship and wished the best for the two, there was so much more at stake than just that. He hated having to say it, but he had to be done.

"Lift me down," the young man suddenly growled. The medic's optics dimmed sadly, though his spark still hoped Sideswipe had listened. He watched the young man storm out, the silent rage obvious in his disgruntled steps. He could only vent our air through his systems slowly and deeply while shaking his head. He was sure his speech had gotten through now, but it would be some time before the young man would admit to it.

Until then, though, Ratchet had something else to ponder over—one which recalled the young man's trouble with remembering his brother. He brought up the scans he had taken and studied them carefully, one by one; focusing on a specific area. It didn't take him long to find what he was looking for and he cursed loudly in Cybertronian. Why hadn't he seen it before? This was bad—very bad. He cursed at his incompetency as he quickly radioed Prime and tried to get Catherine, but she wasn't answering. He took things into his own hands as well, sprinting out the Medbay doors. Unfortunately, the young man wasn't in immediate sight. He did have an idea of where he might go, and so took off that way.

-O-

Catherine was surprised to hear her door open just as she closed her laptop, and was even more surprised to find Sideswipe strolling in, fuming. She asked what was wrong right away, but he didn't answer until he was situated on the bed, arms folded. Only then did he explain what Ratchet had told him about the scans and how he shouldn't be human. He went onto explain how things were a lot different from home, but then pause mid-sentence as he struggled to find the right words. It became even more troubling as he realized he couldn't think of the right words. In fact, he couldn't seem to recall a lot of past events very well. He scowled more as he felt a flicker of pain in the back of his head, which, of course, only made things worse.

"'Sides, your nose is bleeding," the redhead spoke suddenly, pulling him from his thoughts. He touched his nostril and, sure enough, a thick dribble of red was coming out. Cursing, he got up to head into the bathroom, only to stumble. Catherine was by him at once and helped him right himself, but for whatever reason, his body wasn't listening to him. He fell, dragging the redhead with him. His ended up on his back and was able to stare up at the ceiling until his bond mate appeared in his line of sight. She was panicked and shouting, but he couldn't make out what she was saying. In fact, he couldn't hear anything at all, and his vision was getting blurry. It was a weird sensation, feeling the world going dark.

And then he felt no more.

-O-

"…aking up!" a distinctly feminine and familiar voice shouted, and Sideswipe eyes opened to find the ceiling still above him, only it wasn't the one of their room. Rather, it was the Medbay, and he was spanned out on one of the tables. That was strange, though—the tables only fit Cybertronians.

"Sideswipe! You're awake! Thank God!" the voice cried again and he turned his head to find Catherine standing beside him. She was strangely a lot smaller than he remembered her being over the past week, and when she grabbed him she couldn't seem to fit her arms around him. It felt different from the other hugs, too. He frowned and raised his arm to touch her—only to find it was made of metal. His optics flickered and then widened as he realized he was back to normal. He was Cybertronian.

"What…?" he asked weakly, and then looked to his right where Ratchet was standing, no longer as large as he used to be.

"You're one-hundred percent Cybertronian, that's what," the medic smiled, touching his shoulder gently. "You've gave us quite the scare there. We were certain you were going to offline for good."

"…Ratchet stop being so slaggin' vague," he grumbled, shutting his optics off. He could hear Catherine giggle beside him, and it was a wonderful sound.

The medic chuckled, "Well, if you insist. It's really partially my fault for not noticing it, but… the progressive increase of your Cybertronian components was actually ruining your human form. It was a very slow process at first, but once you crossed a certain threshold it had begun to decay your human cells. It started with your brain first, which is why you trouble with your memory. In fact, it was you forgetting your brother that notified me to the damage. And, having attacked your brain first, it resulted in the shutting down of most of your body. Had I not managed to get you here and Jolt and I used his invention on you, we may have very well lost you."

"You… you mean to tell me all we had to do was zap me again?" the silver mech asked, glaring up at the medic.

"Yes, well, we weren't actually sure it would work, but we decided to give it a shot."

"Frag me. Some medic you are."

"Be nice. It saved your life," Catherine laughed, leaning on his shoulders plates. His optics fell onto her as he smiled and reached his opposite arm over to touch her gently.

"The good news is that it worked and you are one-hundred percent back to normal. Or, well, you are incredibly low on Energon, but that can be fixed. Otherwise, all systems are functioning normally—including your cortex, although it was slightly damaged."

"What's the bad news then?"

"I'm keeping you in the Medbay for a good long while to make sure you will remain fine."

He mock-cringed, "You're killin' me, mech!"

"Indeed. Well, I've got a report to give Prime, so I'll leave him to you, Catherine. Make sure he stays put. I don't want to find him half-offline again."

She laughed, "Sure thing, Ratchet. You hear that, 'Sides? You stay put. You've almost died on my twice now and I refuse to have it happen a third time."

He grinned, and she took that as agreement enough. Both became silent as she leaned into his hands, her features still bearing the worry his near-death encounter had brought on. He might have been weak, but he knew reddened eyes when he saw them, and also understood dark lines generally meant a lack of sleep. His spark was struck with a pang of guilty—and not just for making her worry. He was Cybertronian again, and while that was undoubtedly a good thing for many others—he could just vaguely feel his brother's end of the bond twinge—he could not help thinking his bond mate had been left out of it. And that made his spark hurt even more.

"I'm sorry," he murmured softly, and she looked at him with confusion. She moved from his finger to his face and rested a hand on his cheek armor.

"It wasn't your fault this all happened."

He shook his head, "I don't mean that. I mean… we can't… I can't… I can't hold you anymore."

"What are you talking about? You can still hold me," she smiled, though he did not.

"'Cat, it's not…" he began, but she quieted him by pressing their foreheads together as best she could.

"Sideswipe," she began, looking him straight in the optics. "I don't care what you are—be it human or Cybertronian or even an alien robot squid with five faces! I love you for who you are. Sure, the cuddling and holding hands was nice, but I don't need it to be happy with you. This forehead thing is plenty and maybe… maybe one day we'll get the bond back. And then we'll really be able to feel each other. But, until then… this is enough. And don't you dare think otherwise, you got that?"

He was quiet for a while, his spark thrumming strongly and happily. His optics brightened as a smile appeared on his features and he pressed back into her forehead.

"Is that an order?"

"Yes, yes it is."

"Well then, yes, ma'am," he chuckled, and the both of them smiled warmly at one another.

"I love you, Sideswipe."

"I love you, too."

---

End

---

TMWolf: And there we are folks! It's done! :) So, I know, I know... I pandered to the whole Human!Transformer thing, but I thought it would make for some fragging funny situations. Poor Catherine. Seriously, I've tortured her throughout this whole thing, and Sideswipe did not help at all with his lack of human knowledge. And, yes, Sideswipe has NO CLUE how to be human. Why would he, am I right? I mean, he was a Cybertronian- their culture is fairly different from Earth's, although some things are similar in a way or two, but still- He is an entirely different alien race made from metal- not organic features. Of course, if you guys have read TPWT you should know that, so what I am doing explaining it to you? ;)

Anyways, I do hope you enjoyed this super-long one shot! And since it's done I will begin work on the story again. Maybe. It might be a little slow just because school is so tedious and work-consuming this semester for some reason. And by work I mean "note taking". Seriously. NOTE. TAKING. -throws shoe at classes- My hand got a fraggin' cramp from that. Anyways, TPWT will be updated after this some time in the near future! :)