Strangeness. I know.

Chapter 1 Vampire makeover

You know how some days you feel like everything is falling into place?

This isn't one of those days.

"Alice, what do you mean?" I asked her as she threw random articles of clothing out of my closet.

"I mean that he gave you to me for three days. I said the same thing yesterday," she said. "And Charlie asked me to baby-sit you 'til nine pm."

"He left me with you?"

She entered the room with an armful of clothes she approved of looking sad. She picked up the half dozen bags of clothes that she had for tonight. "You don't love me anymore?" she asked, pouting.

"Of course I love you, Alice," I said, "But I haven't seen Edward in two days." I collapsed onto the bed.

"He'll be back tomorrow," she said. "And Emmett."

"What are they doing?" I asked.

"Shopping," Alice said. "And hunting."

"And you didn't go?" I asked.

"Boys night out," she muttered.

"I don't get it. Why didn't Jasper go?"

"They needed time to just hang out and be boys. Jasper didn't want to this time and Emmett wouldn't go alone," she said. "We do the same thing."

"That's true, but we don't do it for so long," I muttered.

"Ah, well, at least it's only for three days," she said. "Edward wouldn't go for more than that being as it was the least amount of time that they would take."

"Oh," I said. "But he wanted to go, didn't he?"

"Of course he did. He just didn't want to be away for two weeks," she said.

"Two weeks?"

"That used to be the time, but now that he has you, he doesn't want to take more than three days."

"I didn't know that."

"I know, but they have done this trip every year, so it's just something they do." She did my hair easily, pinning it into place. "Now what dress do you want to try on?"

The blue one," I said. I slipped out of my clothes knowing that if I didn't do it myself, Alice would do it for me.

She helped me into a corset and then slipped me into the small dress. She took out some make-up from a bag and I realized it was extremely light. It was more like her color.

"Why are you using that?" I asked.

"We're doing a vampire makeover," she said and put the foundation on me. Then she took out some powder and got every bit of skin that was visible with it. When she finished with that she took out a case. "Will you promise to trust me on this?" she asked.

I looked at the small case and took in a sharp breath. "Why?"

"Contacts," she said. "If you put them in you might hurt yourself."

I swallowed hard. "Okay."

She took the contacts out one by one and placed them on my eyes. The sensation was odd at first and then they settled into place. "These are the red ones," she said and turned me to the mirror. Staring back was a beautiful newborn vampire with bright red eyes. "Pretty, but let's try the gold. Then butterscotch. Then the black."

She proceeded to have me try on several different contacts and then we finally ended on the black ones. "I can't believe you got all of those, Alice," I said.

"Let's put the red ones in again." She did so and brought out some eye shadow. It was very light purple. She put it lightly under my eyes and on the lids and grinned. "Bella?"

"Hmm?"

"Will you marry me?"

"WHAT?"

"It's a simple yes or no question," she said. "Now answer." She got down on her knees. "Will you marry me?" she asked. "Come on, Bella, play my game," she pleaded me. "Please? You have to keep a straight face."

"Yeah, sure. Why not?" I muttered.

"Yay!" Alice cried and jumped up. "I'm engaged!" She grinned. "Again!" She stopped jumping abruptly, still ginning. "Jasper is going to kill me. And Edward…" her smile turned wicked. "Oh, Edward!" Her voice had too. "Hey, Bella, do you want to have some fun?"

I was having a laughing fit of my own by this time and I just shook my head yes, already guessing and she jumped up and down clapping. "Alice…what are we going to do?"

"You are coming with me tonight," she said. "We are going to ask Charlie to say that you haven't been here for three days when Edward comes by." She concentrated for a minute. "He won't think about us asking, he'll have forgotten and thought that you were there anyway." She looked me over. "Well my vampire bride, how do you feel about being one of us?"

"Great," I said.

"I think I can do something good with this," Alice said. "Three days. He said he would change you if you were married, but I think he would be much more surprised if we spontaneously were engaged and you happened to be a vampire." She frowned. "We need some really good perfume and some new clothes for this."

"Perfume?" I asked.

"To make you smell like a vampire."

"But that won't help," I said.

"Yes it will. We have to find something that has a smell that is like a vampire and the scent of your blood is the base of your scent as a vampire anyway." She was smiling at me devilishly. "And then we have to do this again."

"Okay, so what do we do now?" I asked.

"We should go and tell Jasper that we're engaged," she said. She giggled. "This should surprise him."

"Let's go," I said and she picked up everything from the floor and put it up and took the bags to her car.

"Charlie?" she called.

He was here now.

"Yes, Alice?" he asked.

We were sitting in the kitchen when he walked in. "Can Bella stay over tonight? Pretty, pretty please?"

"Of course she can," he said.

"And, Charlie?" she asked, dazzling him mercilessly. "We were there all the time that Edward and Emmett were gone, 'kay?"

"Alright," he said dazedly. "So how has it been going over there?"

"Great," she said. "We spent our time inside."

He looked at me and smiled. "Nice dress, Bells."

"Uh, thanks," I said.

He went to the other room and turned on the television.

I looked at Alice. "How did you do that?"

She smiled mysteriously. "It's a secret."

"Let's go before he comes back," I said. He didn't even notice the contacts. Alice was a miracle worker.

"Hi, Jasper," we said. He looked up and jumped practically a foot in the air.

"Bella, what's happened to you?" he asked casually.

"Alice gave me a makeover," I explained.

"Okay," he sighed. "For a second I thought you were turned in just less than two days."

"No, but, Jasper we have some news for you," Alice said brightly.

"You're in a really good mood," he observed of both of us. "This should be good."

"I'm engaged," Alice said and bounced around for a minute.

"We're getting married again?" he asked confusedly.

"No, silly, Bella and I are engaged," she said.

"WHAT!"

"Not really, Jasper," Alice said. "Calm down."

Can vampires hyperventilate? Because I think that's what Jasper was doing for a minute.

"Do you or do you not want to help us out?" she asked.

"Help with what?"

"We're going to make Bella a vampire. I got the look down, but her scent will give her away," she explained. "And now that you're in on our game, you have to play along. Can you think about what she looked like when you saw her just a minute ago when Edward comes in? Without letting it slip that I didn't change her for my wedding?"

"I don't understand," he admitted.

"You are going to act like Bella and I are getting married to help us trick Edward."

He looked at me. "And you're willing to do this?"

"Oh, she already said she would marry me, she doesn't have a choice," Alice said. "Besides, he might buy it. But probably he won't."

"I want to have some fun," I said.

He nodded. "Well then, I think that I can help. Alice why don't you wear that dress you bought for Bella tonight, then we can spray it with the perfume that you decide on and she can put this stuff on again."

"Sounds good," she said. "And it will work."

She took me upstairs and made me change out of the things. Then she put on the other dress and took all of the makeup off of me.

"Should we tell Rosalie?" I asked.

"She wouldn't like it," Alice pointed out. "Hmm." She stood for a moment. "Or maybe she would help."

She ran off and explained the situation to Rosalie then came back. "It's going to work!"

I slept in Alice's bed so that I would gather some of the vampire scent and hers in particular. Jasper stayed downstairs reading and Alice sat all night wearing the white dress.

When I woke up Alice was giggling nonstop at me and I could only imagine why.

"What did I say?" I asked warily.

"You called out to Edward several times. Then you said I love you a half dozen times. The next thing was something like 'Alice, I can't believe you talked me into this!'"

"I remember the last one too," I muttered. That dream had been particularly odd. "So what do we do now?" I asked.

"We get you dressed up," she said. She had hung the dress in a corner and was in her own clothes now.

I stood and she dragged me into the bathroom. She put the dress on me and the corset before starting on the make-up. She powdered me all over again and double checked before moving on to my eyes. She put the blood red contacts on me and then the purple eye shadow again. I was looking at a vampire I could recognize as myself. Alice added some extra touches to make me look less soft and then took me downstairs for further inspection.

Carlisle and Esme jumped and Alice grinned. "We need to borrow some perfume."

"Bella, what happened?" Carlisle asked. "I thought you were waiting for Edward."

"I'm engaged to Alice now," I said with a shrug.

Alice grinned and dragged me off into Rosalie's room. "Rosalie, can you spare some unused perfume?" she asked.

"Of course," Rosalie said. She smiled when she saw me. "Nice look, Bella."

"But-" I began.

"No, it does look good, just I don't want you to change really," she said.

"Oh."

"This one is perfect. It smells like freesia wine… Well, if there was such thing," Alice said. "Thank you Rosalie."

"You're welcome."

We left and Alice sprayed me a little and then ran the perfume out of the house and left it somewhere. When she came back she was grinning. "They're here. Look mean."

That wouldn't be hard. The Corset was getting uncomfortable after wearing it all morning. I looked in the mirror and scared myself. I was beautiful this way, but the eyes were mean looking.

Alice took me down the stairs and Edward and Emmett were already looking at each other in confusion. Then they saw us.

Edward was glaring at Alice and then he glanced at Carlisle and Esme and looked completely dumbstruck.

Of course. We forgot to fill them in. they thought that Alice and I were together. Sort of. They were confused. They knew that Alice and Jasper were in love. And now they didn't know what was going on.

I smiled and Edward blinked. His breathing was uneven.

"Bella?" Edward asked.

"Edward." I said.

"What the hell were you thinking?!" he asked. "She could have killed you!"

"But she didn't," I said. She just covered me in make-up. "And now I can be with you."

"Hey!" Alice said from beside me.

"And Alice." I tried not to laugh.

"Huh?" Emmett asked from behind Edward.

Edward was looking at Alice curiously. "Evidentially they are engaged."

"What about Jasper?" Emmett asked.

"He's still with me," Alice said.

Jasper walked in just then and looked at Alice. "Now what are you doing?"

"They don't believe us."

"Alice proposed and Bella said yes," he said. "Doesn't bother me."

Edward opened his mouth to say something when Rosalie walked in. "What do you want, Rosalie?" he growled.

"To congratulate the lovely couple," she said with a smirk. "Go team."

Edward was thoroughly confused now.

"And so you expect me to go along with this?" he asked incredulously. "I can't believe this. My girlfriend and my married sister!"

I looked at Alice questioningly. "I told you he'd buy it," she said.

"WHAT?"

"Joke's on you, Edward," Jasper said pleasantly.

Alice and I looked at Carlisle and Esme. "We're sorry we didn't fill you in."

"That's fine," Carlisle answered. "I think the look on Edward's face is worth it." He laughed at his son's expression.

Edward couldn't decide weather he was angry or happy about any of the situation. Finally, he decided. "Alice, I can't believe you talked her into this!"

"She said yes," Alice said. "Ask her."

"I did," I admitted. "It was a game and she wasn't going to leave me alone unless I answered."

"So you said yes?" he asked.

I shrugged. "She knows I'm not like that. We were just messing around." I frowned. "I thought that the engagement thing would give you the heads-up."

"I never thought about it," he said.

"Sorry." I walked halfway to him.

"That's okay," Edward said. "It was…interesting." He looked at Jasper. "He was very convincing."

Jasper grinned. "I'm a good actor."

"So you are," Edward said. He eyed him, still not looking very happy. "Now that you've given me a scare would you like to accompany me to my room?"

"Sure," I said. Everyone in the room heard my heart jump and speed up.

He closed the space between us. "But, Alice, don't do that again, please."

"Oh, alright," she said.

He took my hand and led me up the stairs to his room.

He shut the door behind us and turned to me. He looked angry. Uh-oh.

"Why did you do that? You had me convinced that she had changed you and all I could think about was what if she hadn't been able to do it? What if she had been killed? What if I hadn't come back to find you safely intact?" He was coming towards me and I backed into the bed. "And then I was happy that I didn't have to do it. You were a vampire. We could have… I won't even get into that. Still, a marriage was in order. But I felt slightly betrayed by the fact that you would change your mind so easily." I had pressed my back into the bed and he stood over me.

I blinked. I had never seen him so angry…with me. My heart was going insane. Now I was scared. He's mad at me. Who cares if he's a vampire! He's mad at me.

"You see how easy it is to believe false pretenses?" He lay on top of me. I didn't feel any of his weight, just his body pressed against mine.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. I was unable to keep a few tears from falling in relief and shock from earlier.

"No, I'm sorry I did that," he said and brushed away one of the tears that fell. "I shouldn't have been mad. You didn't really do anything wrong. It was a game."

"I wish I hadn't done it," I said. "You probably don't want me anymore. I don't think I would blame you."

"You don't know what you're saying."

I started to say something but he stopped me, pressing his lips to mine, smiling. "I love you, Bella; I will always want you."

"I hope so," I said quietly. "I don't think I could take being away from you again."

I regretted saying that right away. His eyes were shadowed over with sadness. "I was stupid, Bella. I won't be so stupid again."

He rolled over and held me to his body.

"Don't be sorry," I said.

"I don't think I can stop," he told me. The sky was growing darker and darker outside and it suddenly looked like it was the middle of the night.

"Is a storm coming?" I asked him.

"I think so."

Maybe I should stay. It looks like its moving fast."

Edward slid me off of himself and stood. He picked up his cell phone and dialed a number. It started to rain. Hard. I hate storms and this one looked particularly deadly.

"Charlie?" he asked. "Yes, I'm back at home. Listen, there's a storm coming pretty fast –it looks like tornado weather- and I think that Bella should stay here until it blows over." He waited. "Don't worry, she'll be safe here." He smiled. "Alice won't mind sharing her room again if it gets too late." He winked at me and I blushed. "Bye." He flipped the phone shut and walked back over to me. "You're staying…Alice says for the night. It's a bad storm."

"I'm staying in Alice's room again?" I asked.

"Only if you want to," he said. "I was really hopping you would like to use my bed, though. Maybe share it, even."

"That's a very tempting offer," I said thoughtfully. "I think I should clean up first."

"I'll see you in a few minutes, then," he said. "Meet me in the kitchen."

Sooooo. Wadaya think?? If you don't get the 'will you marry me stuff, it's because it's a game i play with my friends. If you keep a straight face, you win. Then you have to ask someone. If they crack up, you go again. It's fun to play. Random, but fun.